Would you call someone out for using an offensive term?

[HoneyBBQ]

Say, in a professional setting among professionals in a large group. 

How about "retarded?" As in, "_______is retarded".

I need to know if I'm out of my mind.

[chiver78]

I would, and have.

[HoneyBBQ]

Mar 17, 2015 13:40:51 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I would, and have.

Thank you. I'm so mad I can hardly stand it.

One of the responses was "Tsk, tsk, BBQ. You are over-sensitive. Good luck"

and I'm about ready to fly across the country and talk with my fist instead.

[chiver78]

you sound like someone I'd get along with IRL.

good luck keeping it together. I've found myself getting up and going for walks lately, rather than sending that cathartic email that I wrote out (with no recipient in the To: field, just to be safe) and getting myself fired.

[shanendoah]

I also would, and I also have.

[Deleted]

Yep, and I usually follow up saying it is inappropriate with "we don't want anyone getting the idea that the company endorses this kind of offensiveness"

[swamp]

I'd probably say "1950 called and want their term back.:

[HoneyBBQ]

Mar 17, 2015 13:46:32 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

you sound like someone I'd get along with IRL.

good luck keeping it together. I've found myself getting up and going for walks lately, rather than sending that cathartic email that I wrote out (with no recipient in the To: field, just to be safe) and getting myself fired.

Hah! Maybe. I can be a bit too passionate.

I just can't believe that whether or not you think it's PC garbage or what, it's still inappropriate. It's the same as using the N word or other racist slurs. I sometimes feel like I still live in the dark age. Say what you want in the bar with your friends, but acting like that as am acting member of my profession in public. ACK!

So far I've got 2 emails in support and 2 people telling me to clam down. 

[happyhoix]

I have, although not to much success.

Usually I get that "you're to sensitive" or "I didn't mean anything by it" (with eyeroll) when I say anything.

[billisonboard]

I also have commented on use of retarded (and also "gay") as a pejorative term.  I am fortunate in that my work environment is generally attuned to such things.  I work with kids so frequently is in that arena that I have addressed it.  I married into a family that tends to be, well, "less attuned" to such things.  They tend to look at me like I have two heads quite frequently when I open my mouth.

[MJ2.0]

Mar 17, 2015 13:54:56 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

Mar 17, 2015 13:46:32 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

you sound like someone I'd get along with IRL.

good luck keeping it together. I've found myself getting up and going for walks lately, rather than sending that cathartic email that I wrote out (with no recipient in the To: field, just to be safe) and getting myself fired.

Hah! Maybe. I can be a bit too passionate.

I just can't believe that whether or not you think it's PC garbage or what, it's still inappropriate. It's the same as using the N word or other racist slurs. I sometimes feel like I still live in the dark age. Say what you want in the bar with your friends, but acting like that as am acting member of my profession in public. ACK!

So far I've got 2 emails in support and 2 people telling me to clam down. 

how does one clam down?

[billisonboard]

Mar 17, 2015 13:56:00 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

I have, although not to much success.

Usually I get that "you're to sensitive" or "I didn't mean anything by it" (with eyeroll) when I say anything.

[Lizard Queen]

There was a segment on NPR a few months back about that term and others.  Basically, it used to be the clinical, acceptable term, then nasty people started to use it in a derogatory manner, so they changed it.  Rinse and repeat about every decade or so, and every new term becomes more lengthy and cumbersome to use.  IMO, don't hate the word so much as the nasty mean-spirited intention in it's use.

[midjd]

I'm with you. It is an offensive and outdated term.

OTOH, I reported a post here not too long ago and some of the other admins informed me that, while distasteful, "retard" isn't forbidden by Proboards or YMAM's standards. I was surprised, since I equate it with the n-word (as well as the f-word that rhymes with maggot), but not everyone does. 

[NancysSummerSip]

In a professional setting, yes. I'm not overly sensitive nor am I particularly politically correct, but there are limits and boundaries in a professional environment. Not to mention the possibility of being overheard by someone who is really sensitive, and who decides to sue. Some people just forget that the filter between brain and mouth actually exists and has a function.

[HoneyBBQ]

Mar 17, 2015 14:01:13 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Mar 17, 2015 13:54:56 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

Hah! Maybe. I can be a bit too passionate.

I just can't believe that whether or not you think it's PC garbage or what, it's still inappropriate. It's the same as using the N word or other racist slurs. I sometimes feel like I still live in the dark age. Say what you want in the bar with your friends, but acting like that as am acting member of my profession in public. ACK!

So far I've got 2 emails in support and 2 people telling me to clam down. 

how does one clam down?

While I'm in the overly offensive zone... I'm a zealot about telling women they are being 'too sensitive'. Hence, I need to keep my clam shut. No one actually said that. I'm projecting. 

[HoneyBBQ]

Mar 17, 2015 14:03:41 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

In a professional setting, yes. I'm not overly sensitive nor am I particularly politically correct, but there are limits and boundaries in a professional environment. Not to mention the possibility of being overheard by someone who is really sensitive, and who decides to sue. Some people just forget that the filter between brain and mouth actually exists and has a function.

Right, so putting that word in an email to 2000 people is a bad idea, no?

Like I said, people can say what they want in their house and after hours. But when you represent my profession, you represent me!

[HoneyBBQ]

Mar 17, 2015 14:02:49 GMT -5 midjd said:

I'm with you. It is an offensive and outdated term.

OTOH, I reported a post here not too long ago and some of the other admins informed me that, while distasteful, "retard" isn't forbidden by Proboards or YMAM's standards. I was surprised, since I equate it with the n-word (as well as the f-word that rhymes with maggot), but not everyone does. 

That's ridiculous.

[hoops902]

I would, but only if I thought the other person would feel bad because I enjoy being a dick to people.  If it were a person I gave a shit about I'd take them aside and explain that might not be the right word choice in a professional environment.

I think in a professional environment one shouldn't be using offensive terms, but in a professional environment one probably shouldn't be "calling out" people in front of peers (at least for a first offense where you haven't attempted to address it in private first).  I think much of this depends on how you "call someone out" though.

[NancysSummerSip]

Mar 17, 2015 14:04:59 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

Mar 17, 2015 14:03:41 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

In a professional setting, yes. I'm not overly sensitive nor am I particularly politically correct, but there are limits and boundaries in a professional environment. Not to mention the possibility of being overheard by someone who is really sensitive, and who decides to sue. Some people just forget that the filter between brain and mouth actually exists and has a function.

Right, so putting that word in an email to 2000 people is a bad idea, no?

Like I said, people can say what they want in their house and after hours. But when you represent my profession, you represent me!

Yes, putting it in an email is a really bad idea. That email can be resent beyond those two thousand people. And emails can live on and on and on.  When you write, you have the time to think and rethink your words. I'd find that choice unacceptable in an email. I can see where it could slip out in conversation without a person thinking about it (not good either, but it happens). But not in an email. And I've gotten a few of those emails that made me think, "WTF were you on when you wrote that?"

[kittensaver]

I have, do and will call someone out in a work environment for an offensive term. But I will do it privately, after the fact. I've discovered that most times when a term is used in passing or in conversation (it is not part of a string of offensive terms being used by someone who is angry and spouting off) in a business setting, it is being used out of ignorance.

I've never been in a business situation where the language was so plentiful/redundant/overt/offensive that I felt the need to call out that person at the time it was happening. I hope I never have to.

[billisonboard]

A website to be aware of:  www.r-word.org/

[MJ2.0]

"retard" is actually a verb, and something being "retarded" refers to it being slowed down. It doesn't have to refer to people.

FYI.

[hoops902]

Mar 17, 2015 14:11:51 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

"retard" is actually a verb, and something being "retarded" refers to it being slowed down. It doesn't have to refer to people.

FYI.

The same applies to many/most offensive words though.  It's typically offensive based on context.

[kittensaver]

Mar 17, 2015 14:16:50 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Mar 17, 2015 14:11:51 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

"retard" is actually a verb, and something being "retarded" refers to it being slowed down. It doesn't have to refer to people.

FYI.

The same applies to many/most offensive words though.  It's typically offensive based on context.

I agree. Context is everything.

[techguy]

Mar 17, 2015 13:54:56 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

I just can't believe that whether or not you think it's PC garbage or what, it's still inappropriate. It's the same as using the N word or other racist slurs. I sometimes feel like I still live in the dark age. Say what you want in the bar with your friends, but acting like that as am acting member of my profession in public. ACK!

So far I've got 2 emails in support and 2 people telling me to clam down. 

Nothing, NOTHING is as bad as the N word.  That N word can get you fired, beat, and even killed!

[midjd]

Mar 17, 2015 14:11:51 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

"retard" is actually a verb, and something being "retarded" refers to it being slowed down. It doesn't have to refer to people.

FYI.

From the OP, I'm guessing "______ is retarded" wasn't referring to slowed growth.

[ArchietheDragon]

To me, in that setting, it is like calling someone a fucking asshole. Probably neither are good in a professional setting.

[MJ2.0]

Mar 17, 2015 14:22:50 GMT -5 midjd said:

Mar 17, 2015 14:11:51 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

"retard" is actually a verb, and something being "retarded" refers to it being slowed down. It doesn't have to refer to people.

FYI.

From the OP, I'm guessing "______ is retarded" wasn't referring to slowed growth.

I know that - I was just saying that banning it as a word altogether doesn't make sense. In a setting where you're not talking about slowed growth, no, it shouldn't be used.

[MJ2.0]

Mar 17, 2015 14:22:29 GMT -5 techguy said:

Mar 17, 2015 13:54:56 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

I just can't believe that whether or not you think it's PC garbage or what, it's still inappropriate. It's the same as using the N word or other racist slurs. I sometimes feel like I still live in the dark age. Say what you want in the bar with your friends, but acting like that as am acting member of my profession in public. ACK!

So far I've got 2 emails in support and 2 people telling me to clam down. 

Nothing, NOTHING is as bad as the N word.  That N word can get you fired, beat, and even killed!

yeah. I mean there are other non-offensive uses for "gay", "fruity", ""... please show me a non-offensive use for the N word.