Fifty Shades of...WTF?

[Bob Ross]

So I paid this zero attention when it initially arose, but with the movie coming out and being crammed down your throat everywhere you look, I thought I'd get a brief idea of what the hubbub is all about by skimming over a few articles.

Twilight fanfic?

Bondage porn?

Universally panned by the literary community? (LOL) 

You know who I blame for this travesty?  Women. 

Is this the new "thing" nowadays?  Millions of bored housewives diddling their pooters at the thought of being choke-raped by some rich twat, while the kids are off at soccer practice? 

Is this what women really want?  Really?  Way to take gender rights progress back a century or two.

For shame. 

For. 
Muthaf*ckin'.
Shame. 

Seriously, learn to like quality sh*t already.

[imawino]

Feb 13, 2015 14:30:24 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

So I paid this zero attention when it initially arose, but with the movie coming out and being crammed down your throat everywhere you look, I thought I'd get a brief idea of what the hubbub is all about by skimming over a few articles.

Twilight fanfic?

Bondage porn?

Universally panned by the literary community? (LOL) 

You know who I blame for this travesty?  Women. 

Is this the new "thing" nowadays?  Millions of bored housewives diddling their pooters at the thought of being choke-raped by some rich twat, while the kids are off at soccer practice? 

Is this what women really want?  Really?  Way to take gender rights progress back a century or two.

For shame. 

For. 
Muthaf*ckin'.
Shame. 

Seriously, learn to like quality sh*t already.

That's new?? 

[imawino]

What is this quality shit of which you speak?

Is it fursuits??

[NancysSummerSip]

Seriously, learn to like quality sh*t already.

We do. Just that every now and then, our fantasies lead us down a road less traveled but littered with ropes, chains and other sexual bondage flotsam and jetsam. What's the harm, really?

Oh, and which are you offering: quality or insanity?

[imawino]

Feb 13, 2015 14:30:24 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

So I paid this zero attention when it initially arose, but with the movie coming out and being crammed down your throat everywhere you look, I thought I'd get a brief idea of what the hubbub is all about by skimming over a few articles.

Twilight fanfic?

Bondage porn?

Universally panned by the literary community? (LOL) 

You know who I blame for this travesty?  Women. 

Is this the new "thing" nowadays?  Millions of bored housewives diddling their pooters at the thought of being choke-raped by some rich twat, while the kids are off at soccer practice? 

Is this what women really want?  Really?  Way to take gender rights progress back a century or two.

For shame. 

For. 
Muthaf*ckin'.
Shame. 

Seriously, learn to like quality sh*t already.

Tee-hee.  Did you do those on purpose?

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 14:37:33 GMT -5 imawino said:

That's new?? 

I see you're no stranger to the choke-rape fantasy genre.

As far as furries go, if a furry fanfic sold a cool hundred million copies, what would you do?

If the answer is anything else than open mouth, insert gun, pull trigger, then you'd be way off.

[imawino]

Feb 13, 2015 14:49:39 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

Feb 13, 2015 14:37:33 GMT -5 imawino said:

That's new?? 

I see you're no stranger to the choke-rape fantasy genre.

As far as furries go, if a furry fanfic sold a cool hundred million copies, what would you do?

If the answer is anything else than open mouth, insert gun, pull trigger, then you'd be way off.

What would I do? Did I write the fanfic? Am I famous now in this scenario? Is there a chance I could choke-rape whoever wrote it and become famous by proxy?? If none of the above, your answer is probably correct.

To be perfectly honest I've not read the books and am not 100% sure I know exactly what "fanfic" means.

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2015 14:30:24 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

So I paid this zero attention when it initially arose, but with the movie coming out and being crammed down your throat everywhere you look, I thought I'd get a brief idea of what the hubbub is all about by skimming over a few articles.

Twilight fanfic?

Bondage porn?

Universally panned by the literary community? (LOL) 

You know who I blame for this travesty?  Women. 

Is this the new "thing" nowadays?  Millions of bored housewives diddling their pooters at the thought of being choke-raped by some rich twat, while the kids are off at soccer practice? 

Is this what women really want?  Really?  Way to take gender rights progress back a century or two.

For shame. 

For. 
Muthaf*ckin'.
Shame. 

Seriously, learn to like quality sh*t already.

Yea, I'm tired of the commercial trailer too.

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 14:45:53 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Seriously, learn to like quality sh*t already.

We do. Just that every now and then, our fantasies lead us down a road less traveled but littered with ropes, chains and other sexual bondage flotsam and jetsam. What's the harm, really?

The harm is that when complete and utter crap is found to earn boatloads of $, it leads to many boatloads of complete and utter crap in the future.

It's like if Bieber mated with Bieber and gave birth to OctoBiebers.

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 14:53:10 GMT -5 imawino said:

Feb 13, 2015 14:49:39 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

I see you're no stranger to the choke-rape fantasy genre.

As far as furries go, if a furry fanfic sold a cool hundred million copies, what would you do?

If the answer is anything else than open mouth, insert gun, pull trigger, then you'd be way off.

What would I do? Did I write the fanfic? Am I famous now in this scenario? Is there a chance I could choke-rape whoever wrote it and become famous by proxy?? If none of the above, your answer is probably correct.

To be perfectly honest I've not read the books and am not 100% sure I know exactly what "fanfic" means.

I think it's safe to say that in this scenario, Dark wrote the fanfic.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_fiction

[imawino]

Feb 13, 2015 14:53:49 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

Feb 13, 2015 14:45:53 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

We do. Just that every now and then, our fantasies lead us down a road less traveled but littered with ropes, chains and other sexual bondage flotsam and jetsam. What's the harm, really?

The harm is that when complete and utter crap is found to earn boatloads of $, it leads to many boatloads of complete and utter crap in the future.

It's like if Bieber mated with Bieber and gave birth to OctoBiebers.

I'm pretty sure the ship has sailed on crap entertainment earning boatloads of money. 

As to the proliferation of biebers, if this ever happens I know exactly who to blame now.

[Chocolate Lover]

Feb 13, 2015 14:53:10 GMT -5 imawino said:

Feb 13, 2015 14:49:39 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

I see you're no stranger to the choke-rape fantasy genre.

As far as furries go, if a furry fanfic sold a cool hundred million copies, what would you do?

If the answer is anything else than open mouth, insert gun, pull trigger, then you'd be way off.

What would I do? Did I write the fanfic? Am I famous now in this scenario? Is there a chance I could choke-rape whoever wrote it and become famous by proxy?? If none of the above, your answer is probably correct.

To be perfectly honest I've not read the books and am not 100% sure I know exactly what "fanfic" means.

I know what fanfic and shipping means in that context. 

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 13, 2015 14:53:49 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

Feb 13, 2015 14:45:53 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

We do. Just that every now and then, our fantasies lead us down a road less traveled but littered with ropes, chains and other sexual bondage flotsam and jetsam. What's the harm, really?

The harm is that when complete and utter crap is found to earn boatloads of $, it leads to many boatloads of complete and utter crap in the future.

It's like if Bieber mated with Bieber and gave birth to OctoBiebers.

The proliferation of crap is in the eye of the beholder. And honestly, if you choose not to behold, then you won't have to worry about it.

And I don't think we have to worry about Bieber doing the dirty mating thing Between the bad commercials, dubious friendship with Rob Ford, driving under the influence issues, silly tats and a mother who tells anyone who will listen that her boy is just being himself, I think the chances of him mating with anyone other than himself are pretty slim.

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 14:56:40 GMT -5 imawino said:

I'm pretty sure the ship has sailed on crap entertainment earning boatloads of money.

True, but there's crap entertainment and there's crap entertainment.

Crap entertainment needs to be more like "Road House" and "Sharknado 2", and less like Bieber choke-raping sparkle-vampires.

Because I say so.

[billisonboard]

British Hardware Store Warns Staff to Prepare for 'Sensitive' Fifty Shades of Grey Queries

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 15:03:27 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

The proliferation of crap is in the eye of the beholder. And honestly, if you choose not to behold, then you won't have to worry about it.

Pfft. The thing is that I'M the only beholder. The rest of you are just internet gnomes, brought in to brighten my day.

(and you're not doing a very good job at it)

As far as FSOG goes, I was pretty good at not beholding up until now, but now it's everywhere.

[billisonboard]

I think that they were smart to release it in the States on a three day weekend.  Give people an extra day to recover.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Awww, Bob Ross, tomorrow IS Valentine's Day.  

Perfect timing for those tired of the same old missionary position routine.  

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 15:06:58 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

British Hardware Store Warns Staff to Prepare for 'Sensitive' Fifty Shades of Grey Queries

Oh wow.  So people are gonna try and emulate this sh*t?

They call it "auto-erotic asphyxiation".  I call it "Darwinism".

[billisonboard]

The problem is that there are going to be a whole lot of amateurs doing things that when done by a professional ...

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 13, 2015 15:11:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Awww, Bob Ross, tomorrow IS Valentine's Day.  

Perfect timing for those tired of the same old missionary position routine.  

Good advice for Bob. While he's at it, I think he should remove his socks; it's not a very romantic look in bed.

[imawino]

My safe word is kumquat.

Just in case.

[imawino]

Feb 13, 2015 15:11:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Awww, Bob Ross, tomorrow IS Valentine's Day.  

Perfect timing for those tired of the same old missionary position routine.  

Does this mean I have to get on top?  ugh. How has it been a whole year!?

[Chocolate Lover]

Feb 13, 2015 15:16:27 GMT -5 imawino said:

My safe word is kumquat.

Just in case.

I'd go with pineapple, that way the first syllable doesn't sound like something else you could be yelling about.


Or maybe a one syllable word so you can get it all out in one yelp.  

[imawino]

Feb 13, 2015 15:18:30 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Feb 13, 2015 15:16:27 GMT -5 imawino said:

My safe word is kumquat.

Just in case.

I'd go with pineapple, that way the first syllable doesn't sound like something else you could be yelling about.


Or maybe a one syllable word so you can get it all out in one yelp.  

I have to get on top AND pick out a new safe word?   F#ck valentines' day!!!

[Bob Ross]

Feb 13, 2015 15:11:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Awww, Bob Ross, tomorrow IS Valentine's Day.  

Perfect timing for those tired of the same old missionary position routine.  

The "techniques" detailed in the book have been around forever.  So is a bestselling trash-novel really gonna be the thing that finally convinces John and Jane Q Public to send the kids off to gran's before breaking out the roofing asphalt and sawzall with erotic attachment?

Like lemmings headed toward the cliff.

Oh man, I take back everything I said.  This could get hilarious! Anyone here working in a ER this weekend that might be able to post a few stories come Monday?

[billisonboard]

Feb 13, 2015 15:13:17 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

Feb 13, 2015 15:06:58 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

British Hardware Store Warns Staff to Prepare for 'Sensitive' Fifty Shades of Grey Queries

Oh wow.  So people are gonna try and emulate this sh*t?

They call it "auto-erotic asphyxiation".  I call it "Darwinism".

That is when it is done by one. I am thinking that this weekend's activities will involve pairs (or maybe more ).

[sam]

Sounds to me Rob is jealous none of his p0rn flicks have hit the theaters. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

OMG I am dyiing reading this thread.   If I get a call from the FBI I am blaming you people.

[MJ2.0]

*Thread of the Day*