swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 27, 2014 14:29:12 GMT -5
You can make memories that cost less than $1000.
I've done big parties or trips for my kids birthdays. The difference is I don't have consumer debt and have retirement savings.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Dec 27, 2014 14:30:19 GMT -5
Typing it all out it does sound really freaking crazy. But it's just what we've done. I will do my best to scale back birthday # 3. Instead of a 3 tier cake I can do a 1 level cake and cupcakes, I can do cheaper foods. I bet I can get it down to $500. I really wanted to hire Anna/Elsa actors to come though. Maybe 20 year old sis in law will have some friends that could act the part. Your 3 year old won't remember Anna and Elsa.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Dec 27, 2014 14:54:28 GMT -5
Typing it all out it does sound really freaking crazy. But it's just what we've done. I will do my best to scale back birthday # 3. Instead of a 3 tier cake I can do a 1 level cake and cupcakes, I can do cheaper foods. I bet I can get it down to $500. I really wanted to hire Anna/Elsa actors to come though. Maybe 20 year old sis in law will have some friends that could act the part. Your 3 year old won't remember Anna and Elsa. And the rest of us don't know who Anna & Elsa are. Oy vey!!
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 15:03:20 GMT -5
Your 3 year old won't remember Anna and Elsa. And the rest of us don't know who Anna & Elsa are. Oy vey!! hahaha. They are the Disney Princesses from the movie Frozen. I think every young girl in the country is currently obsessed.
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phil5185
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Post by phil5185 on Dec 27, 2014 15:03:38 GMT -5
The mommies in our neighborhood went silly a few years ago - had a guy with ponies for one baby, one rented a rubber-room, one rented a bowling alley, a city park with a train, one rented a pizza place, the baby was about 6 months crawling around looking confused. I'm guessing that most of those b parties cost north of $1000. I think the mommies finally embarrassed themselves with the waste of time/money.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 27, 2014 15:09:59 GMT -5
I've never seen it, but i'm pretty sure they're from the movie, "Frozen". I can't fathom $1000 party for a toddler. We had about 20 for the 1st BD parties, and it was maybe $200-300. It was an awesome bakery cake, but not like a freakin' wedding cake! (Is this thread 'for reals'? Or is this an Xmas present to the YM crew?)
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 15:15:56 GMT -5
I've never seen it, but i'm pretty sure they're from the movie, "Frozen". I can't fathom $1000 party for a toddler. We had about 20 for the 1st BD parties, and it was maybe $200-300. It was an awesome bakery cake, but not like a freakin' wedding cake! (Is this thread 'for reals'? Or is this an Xmas present to the YM crew?) I assure you, this thread is for real, although that question made me chuckle. I needed a YM reality check, which is why I posted.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 27, 2014 15:33:46 GMT -5
I've never seen it, but i'm pretty sure they're from the movie, "Frozen". I can't fathom $1000 party for a toddler. We had about 20 for the 1st BD parties, and it was maybe $200-300. It was an awesome bakery cake, but not like a freakin' wedding cake! (Is this thread 'for reals'? Or is this an Xmas present to the YM crew?) I assure you, this thread is for real, although that question made me chuckle. I needed a YM reality check, which is why I posted. Okay...well, to sum up 10 pages (or some of them--I haven't read them all)...you can afford to treat your family some of the time, but not all of the time. The presence and size of your consumer debt indicates that you've been erring on the side of 'all of the time'. In order to get rid of the debt, it's going to feel like you're not treating yourselves at all for a while. Going forward, it would be really helpful to you in you can focus on getting the most bang for your buck. Good luck to you. I'm not sure I can read more about $700 concerts and $1000 birthday parties. It kind of makes me want to . That is just so NOT my world.
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 15:40:38 GMT -5
I assure you, this thread is for real, although that question made me chuckle. I needed a YM reality check, which is why I posted. Okay...well, to sum up 10 pages (or some of them--I haven't read them all)...you can afford to treat your family some of the time, but not all of the time. The presence and size of your consumer debt indicates that you've been erring on the side of 'all of the time'. In order to get rid of the debt, it's going to feel like you're not treating yourselves at all for a while. Going forward, it would be really helpful to you in you can focus on getting the most bang for your buck. Good luck to you. I'm not sure I can read more about $700 concerts and $1000 birthday parties. It kind of makes me want to . That is just so NOT my world. I said NO to the $700 concert, it is too much. Normally concert tickets cost us around $150-$250, which is still a lot, but not quite $700
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 15:41:00 GMT -5
With expenditures like that I'm surprised you are not further in debt. Do you know how much you earned this year? Not a clue.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 15:42:31 GMT -5
You don't know how much you earn?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 15:43:01 GMT -5
Do you look at your income taxes or just sign them without looking?
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 27, 2014 15:47:50 GMT -5
Typing it all out it does sound really freaking crazy. But it's just what we've done. I will do my best to scale back birthday # 3. Instead of a 3 tier cake I can do a 1 level cake and cupcakes, I can do cheaper foods. I bet I can get it down to $500. I really wanted to hire Anna/Elsa actors to come though. Maybe 20 year old sis in law will have some friends that could act the part. A 3 tier cake for 2 year old?! It's not a god damn wedding! Holy moly. I love throwing DS parties but I can do so for less than $300 and host over 50 people and children. With an activity, food and bakery cake. You are out of touch.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 27, 2014 15:51:52 GMT -5
Okay...well, to sum up 10 pages (or some of them--I haven't read them all)...you can afford to treat your family some of the time, but not all of the time. The presence and size of your consumer debt indicates that you've been erring on the side of 'all of the time'. In order to get rid of the debt, it's going to feel like you're not treating yourselves at all for a while. Going forward, it would be really helpful to you in you can focus on getting the most bang for your buck. Good luck to you. I'm not sure I can read more about $700 concerts and $1000 birthday parties. It kind of makes me want to . That is just so NOT my world. I said NO to the $700 concert, it is too much. Normally concert tickets cost us around $150-$250, which is still a lot, but not quite $700 Whew, well there's that, at least It sounds like you could benefit from a spending plan like what is in YNAB. Figure out a % of income that is reasonable for your entertainment budget, travel, etc. (ahead of time). If you have the $$ in your bucket, you can spend it (buy tickets, host a lavish party, go on vacation, etc.). Otherwise, you wait until you have enough in that bucket. That way you're not short-changing other areas that are important to you as well.
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 15:57:57 GMT -5
You don't know how much you earn? I don't know what I have earned for 2014. My hours vary so much depending on what else I have going on in my life. In 2013 our combined income was around $90k. 2014 will likely be similar, maybe $100,000. Both years, I took a lot of time off due to my anxiety issues. I have that under control finally, so going forward I should work about 48 weeks per year.
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 15:59:21 GMT -5
Do you look at your income taxes or just sign them without looking? I do our taxes through tax slayer. DH is more clueless about money than I am (ex.- the desire for $700 concert tickets)
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 15:59:37 GMT -5
That just gives you a jumping off point. And, if you earn more, that's great. But have you considered that your lifestyle might be contributing to your anxiety issues? If anything can provoke anxiety, it's money issues.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Dec 27, 2014 15:59:50 GMT -5
You don't know how much you earn? I don't know what I have earned for 2014. My hours vary so much depending on what else I have going on in my life. In 2013 our combined income was around $90k. 2014 will likely be similar, maybe $100,000. Both years, I took a lot of time off due to my anxiety issues. I have that under control finally, so going forward I should work about 48 weeks per year. You can look at your pay stub. It will have a year-to-date summary of what you were paid...
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 16:00:57 GMT -5
If your DH is clueless, it is time for him to get unclueless. Do this together for the good of your family.
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sbcalimom
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Post by sbcalimom on Dec 27, 2014 16:03:10 GMT -5
My DH and I make pretty decent money (around $100-110K this year) in a fairly LCOLA (New Mexico) but have really let the spending go this year. We had decent savings so it wasn't putting us in debt but it definitely depleted our savings. I asked DH to help rein in our spending for months and he just didn't think it was a big deal. Well, what finally changed his mind was projecting where we'd be in 12 months if we kept up current spending levels --> $10K in debt and $0 in non-retirement savings. When we're paying $17K in daycare a year, we just can't spend money on everything else under the sun.
Since you aren't sure how much you make or spend, I think that's a great place to start. Use your year-end paycheck to estimate next year's salary and then use your DH's to do the same. Then, look at where you'll be this time next year as far as debt goes if you don't cut your spending. It may be eye-opening for you both so you can make some educated decisions.
We made 4 plans - one with "normal" spending, one with some pain, one with a lot of pain, and one where we're basically spending $0 dollars on everything besides food. We decided to do something in between some pain and a lot of pain. Then, we picked what really mattered to us. For instance, two of our indulgences are house cleaning and extra childcare (DD1 goes to daycare, DD2 goes to after-school care as a matter of course but this is for nights/weekends so DH and I can do things on our own). We couldn't afford both so we decided which one to keep. Now, I'm horribly devastated to give up the house cleaning, but I decided the sitter was way more important for our sanity and our relationship. Then, we did the same thing with groceries, household supplies, stuff for the girls etc.
One thing I've found incredibly helpful when I'm shopping is adding the prices up on my phone as I put things in the cart. It helps me know I'm sticking on budget but it also helps me decide if I really, really want something. The last time I went to Costco I spent $14 on Ranier cherries. They are my absolute favorite and only in season for a month or two each year so I bought them even though the price was ridiculously high. However, that meant something else had to give.
We by no means feel deprived sticking to the budget we set - $200/wk on food, $100 week on non-discretionary household expenses - and we've been under every week since we started it. We're communicating better and cooperating better too because we're making decisions about what we both want or can live without.
Take some time to decide what to keep and what can go as you change your habits. Then, find tools to help you stick to them. I had no idea simply using the calculator on my phone would be so helpful to sticking to the budget but I plan to use it every time I shop now.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 27, 2014 16:21:33 GMT -5
The mommies in our neighborhood went silly a few years ago - had a guy with ponies for one baby, one rented a rubber-room, one rented a bowling alley, a city park with a train, one rented a pizza place, the baby was about 6 months crawling around looking confused. I'm guessing that most of those b parties cost north of $1000. I think the mommies finally embarrassed themselves with the waste of time/money. Hey now, I rented a pony and petting zoo for my daughter's 3rd birthday this past October. We had 30 guests. I spent $100 on pizza and cupcakes and $150 on the petting zoo. Total expense for the party was $250. I easily spent that on kegs and food for my parties before kids. Trust me, you can do this stuff without spending a fortune.
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mcsangel2
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Post by mcsangel2 on Dec 27, 2014 16:58:29 GMT -5
I definitely have been convinced to open an IRA asap. I really thought I needed to pay off all debt before I started a retirement account. This is an excellent idea - pretty sure everyone on this board would agree with it!
I skimmed the thread earlier but have forgotten whether it was mentioned, but you actually have until April 15 to make full contributions to a 2014 IRA, (the contribution limit is $5500 per year) so be sure to calculate that in addition funding for 2015.
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 16:59:44 GMT -5
Self medicating with shopping and vacations is not going to help your anxiety. Luckily you can earn more money. Some questions you should answer, at least for yourself if you don't want to post it here, are: Are you considered self-employed? How much will you owe in taxes in April? What is your exact credit card, car, and student loan debt, interest rates and minimum payments? How much are you adding to your debt each month or year? At this rate what will you owe/have paid off in one year and five? How much debt is your DH taking on for his degree? What do you spend on these basic categories each month: housing, gifts, utilities, debt, transportation, child, food, entertainment, medical and other? Some questions that might motivate you to look at your future and your DD's future: Do you have a will/trust in place? Who will be your child's guardian? Are you sufficiently insured for death or disability? When will your current vehicles need to be replaced? How much in savings do you need for retirement based on your spending patterns? How much in savings do you need for DD's college education? How long can you go if you or your DH become unable to work? What items in your home might need repair/replacement in the next 5 years? No, I am not self employed. I don't know the exact amount/interest rates of my debt. I can't work on that right now, I have family visiting from out of state this weekend, but Monday I can work on that. DH is not taking on debt for his degree. All of his degrees have been at no cost to him, including this one. His employer will reimburse him after each semester. We do not have a will. I presume the mother in law would take care of DD should anything happen to us, since she is the one who takes care of her when we are working. We do have good life insurance policies that we purchased when we were 23. DH will need a car in the next year or two. He drives a 2002 Alero that is limping along. I drive a 2012 rav 4, we should be able to get at good long life out of it. I don't know the answers to the other question s, but I will look at them Monday
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 17:00:31 GMT -5
Do you have term Life Insurance? If not, I would highly recommend that since you have a child. At least a couple hundred K on each of you spouses.
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 17:02:18 GMT -5
I just looked at our pay stubs, we grossed $95 this year
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 17:02:29 GMT -5
Are you covered under disability insurance at work, given you are PRN? Are you eligible for unemployment, etc?
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 17:03:04 GMT -5
Do you have term Life Insurance? If not, I would highly recommend that since you have a child. At least a couple hundred K on each of you spouses. Yes, we have term. It's only $150k each though. DH has a policy through work too.
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wonderland
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Post by wonderland on Dec 27, 2014 17:05:24 GMT -5
Are you covered under disability insurance at work, given you are PRN? Are you eligible for unemployment, etc? I dropped my disability coverage, but I can get it if I want. I would qualify for unemployment, but I really doubt that would ever be an issue. I have made myself an asset to the enterprise. And if I were let go, finding a New job would be easy. I've known nurses to get fired for stealing drugs, for assaulting patients on video, etc only to go to the hospital a down the road and get hired immediately. The need is that great.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 17:10:52 GMT -5
How does liability work with you being PRN? I'm guessing you are still an employee and covered by their liability insurance? And workers comp? Would you be eligible for workers comp?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 27, 2014 17:12:31 GMT -5
PRn or part time employees are usually covered under the hospital liability and worker's comp.
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