Woman Harrassed Simply By Walking in New York

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:43:22 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:37:10 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Sorry I am not limited to use only your special dictionary. It is not officially approved by the queen. Nice try.

Interesting you would go there... it actually IS approved by the Queen!

(The OED was originally approved by Queen Victoria)

She was dead a long time. Language changes. Sorry you don't get to demand a word to mean only what you wish it means.

[Opti]

Zaire, I am most definitely not your XGF.

But yes, we do have different reactions to different guys.

Because unlike men, we are looking for a match in what we want

first instead of being willing to go out with almost anyone.

This is a generalization, but I've found many techie males are

almost as particular as I am when it comes to who they like and the

lines they draw.

So yes, we might be OK with someone eyeing our chest or flirting more

because we are interested. There are some guys I flirt with because it

makes them happy and we both know it will never go anywhere but

flirting.

For me, every interaction with any guy is totally unique.

It is entirely based on how I feel about him and how he feels about me.

To add to that, if the feelings are unequal like one wants more and one is

firm on the friend line, my behavior might be colder to that guy if he wanted

more and I am on the friend line than a man I am good friends with and

who always tows the line.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:48:12 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Nov 1, 2014 20:56:02 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

It's not "my" book... it's the Oxford English Dictionary.

Harassment: NOUN - Aggressive pressure or intimidation

"good morning" is not "pressure" or "intimidation" (aggressive or otherwise)
"nice dress" is not "pressure" or "intimidation" (aggressive or otherwise)
"want to get a drink?" is not "pressure" or "intimidation" (aggressive or otherwise)
heck... even "nice b**bs" or "nice a$$" is not "pressure" or "intimidation" (aggressive or otherwise)

They are all comments or opinion.

"Pressure" or "intimidation" are situations of "do {whatever} or else {bad consequence, with some form of 'will happen'}"

So you wouldn't have any response to a perfect stranger saying to your wife or/and daughter "Nice boobs or nice ass" while you were walking next to her because that's a compliment.

Boy, you really DON'T know how to read without biased misinterpretation... do you?

I didn't say "compliment" I said "comment".

My wife would react however she would react. She's a grown adult woman. I don't assume that she can;t respond for herself (however, I can tell you how SHE would act: She'd say "yes, they are!" to "nice boobs", and she'd say "Yes, it is!" or "Thanks!" to "nice ass").

I don't have a daughter, but if I did, and she was under-age, I'd probably be none-too-pleased with the comment. But I'd still understand that it's JUST a comment.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:43:22 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:37:10 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Sorry I am not limited to use only your special dictionary. It is not officially approved by the queen. Nice try.

Interesting you would go there... it actually IS approved by the Queen!

(The OED was originally approved by Queen Victoria)

Sorry I'm having little trouble to find out your claim.

Here

public.oed.com/history-of-the-oed/

Is the history and it didn't tell about approval from a queen. Possibly you have a better link?

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:50:58 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:43:22 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Interesting you would go there... it actually IS approved by the Queen!

(The OED was originally approved by Queen Victoria)

She was dead a long time. Language changes. Sorry you don't get to demand a word to mean only what you wish it means.

The current monarchy still approves of it (Queen Elizabeth).

I don't demand it "mean only what {I} wish it means". Never have. Never will. I just use words appropriately. Something many people don't do (to the detriment of our society).

[Deleted]

Oops wait I found it out. It is DEDICATED to Queen Victoria. Not approved. Nice try.

public.oed.com/history-of-the-oed/dictionary-milestones/

[Opti]

I had to tell and show my x-girlfrind this as well.
women at first will say NO. men have to keep asking and keep asking and keep asking over and over and over again, keep coming around keep going until that time when she finally gives in and will say ok.

I am not these women. I have never said No when I meant yes.

If it is the time of the invitation that is the problem I will say that.

Now unfortunately you have some women who think being asked and asked

for several rounds means you are serious. However, far more give in because

they are sick of saying No. On occasions this works out. Likely on more

occasions the woman is doing it to be nice and spends time figuring how to

get out of it.

When I ask men out I never ask again unless I get an indication he is open to me,

just not what I suggested or not now.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:58:12 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

The current monarchy still approves of it (Queen Elizabeth).

Link please?

[ZaireinHD]

For me, every interaction with any guy is totally unique.

right - I understand that
so the guy that sat next to you and touched your leg, that was inappropriate. but had it been someone you're comfortable with or attracted to it wouldn't have been a problem.

so an attractive women walking down the street is being approached by lots of men, she is not interested in. how are these men suppose to know this? also what they say to get her attention nice ass, nice tits, hey lets go fuck. some women will respond to such comments. it all depends on who is saying and her mood at that very moment.

[Opti]

"Pressure" or "intimidation" are situations of "do {whatever} or else {bad consequence, with some form of 'will happen'}"

I think that definition is limited. My Sifu once told this great story about how

someone did bad things, stealing and fighting, but got away with it because of

how he did it.

He smiled at everyone. His words were unfailing polite. His actions however were to

rob and hurt one person. The bystanders told the police what a nice and polite man

he was. Even the victim admitted he smiled and was polite. He was let go and not charged.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 22:04:07 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

For me, every interaction with any guy is totally unique.

right - I understand that
so the guy that sat next to you and touched your leg, that was inappropriate. but had it been someone you're comfortable with or attracted to it wouldn't have been a problem.

so an attractive women walking down the street is being approached by lots of men, she is not interested in. how are these men suppose to know this? also what they say to get her attention nice ass, nice tits, hey lets go fuck. some women will respond to such comments. it all depends on who is saying and her mood at that very moment.

If my husband touch my leg its not a big deal. If a stranger did it were gonna have some trouble.

[justme]

A civil, respectful person approaches a stranger by saying hi.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Nov 1, 2014 21:30:34 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Synonyms
annoy, trouble, bother, worry, harry, disturb, devil, plague, bait, hound, torment, hassle, badger, persecute, exasperate, pester, vex, breathe down someone's neck, chivvy, give someone grief, be on your back, beleaguer

Did you see all of that happening in the video? I certainly didn't.

The one guy in the white t-shirt who was tailing after her trying to get her attention was doing what you could consider bothering or pestering her.

I didn't see anyone harry, disturb, devil, plague, bait, hound torment, badger, persecute, vex, breathe down her neck, CHIVVY or beleaguer her. Nor did they harass her, as the title implies.

Definition of Chivvy:

chiv•vy or chiv•y (ˈtʃɪv i)
chiv•vied or chiv•ied, chiv•vy•ing or chiv•y•ing.
1. to chase; run after.

2. to harass; torment.

And from the Thesaurus:

bedevil, dun, rag, torment, frustrate, crucify - treat cruelly; "The children tormented the stuttering teacher"


haze - harass by imposing humiliating or painful tasks, as in military institutions

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 22:16:57 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:30:34 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Synonyms
annoy, trouble, bother, worry, harry, disturb, devil, plague, bait, hound, torment, hassle, badger, persecute, exasperate, pester, vex, breathe down someone's neck, chivvy, give someone grief, be on your back, beleaguer

Did you see all of that happening in the video? I certainly didn't.

The one guy in the white t-shirt who was tailing after her trying to get her attention was doing what you could consider bothering or pestering her.

I didn't see anyone harry, disturb, devil, plague, bait, hound torment, badger, persecute, vex, breathe down her neck, CHIVVY or beleaguer her. Nor did they harass her, as the title implies.

Definition of Chivvy:

chiv•vy or chiv•y (ˈtʃɪv i)
chiv•vied or chiv•ied, chiv•vy•ing or chiv•y•ing.
1. to chase; run after.

2. to harass; torment.

And from the Thesaurus:

bedevil, dun, rag, torment, frustrate, crucify - treat cruelly; "The children tormented the stuttering teacher"


haze - harass by imposing humiliating or painful tasks, as in military institutions

Also you pick out only what you like. You didn't see

Annoy?
Trouble?
Bother?
Disturb?
Hassle?
Pester?

[ZaireinHD]

one year going home from a car show in Georgia maybe 2008. my friend was driving my show car, I was in passenger seat. we were in North Carolina in stop and go traffic. he blew the horn to get the attention of this chick driving a Honda with North Carolina plates. He got her number!
recently last year summer time, same guy. I was in the back seat and my brother was passenger in his Range Rover in Newark NJ. He blew the horn to get the attention of these two women getting in their Mercedes Benz. they not only stopped getting into the car but they ran over and he got the number to the one he was interested in. 

[Opti]

Nov 1, 2014 22:04:07 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

For me, every interaction with any guy is totally unique.

right - I understand that
so the guy that sat next to you and touched your leg, that was inappropriate. but had it been someone you're comfortable with or attracted to it wouldn't have been a problem.

so an attractive women walking down the street is being approached by lots of men, she is not interested in. how are these men suppose to know this? also what they say to get her attention nice ass, nice tits, hey lets go fuck. some women will respond to such comments. it all depends on who is saying and her mood at that very moment.

Z, leg touching better not happen in the workplace unless by accident.

IMO no exceptions. In a social situation perhaps, but the first physical

contact should not be on the leg generally.

Like Loser said, if I am walking down the street quickly, I am not interested in anyone.

Z, can't speak for others. Anything about my body as I  walk past you will make me

want to avoid you even if otherwise I might find you attractive. *I* will assume you

are an ass. A quality woman will not respond. Someone looking for sex or who has

esteem issues might respond. Maybe you know women like this. I do not.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:56:59 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:43:22 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Interesting you would go there... it actually IS approved by the Queen!

(The OED was originally approved by Queen Victoria)

Sorry I'm having little trouble to find out your claim.

Here

public.oed.com/history-of-the-oed/

Is the history and it didn't tell about approval from a queen. Possibly you have a better link?

I do. It's from an in depth history of the OED "The Meaning of Everything: The Story of the Oxford English Dictionary". Note the paragraph here: Excerpt of a correspondence to Jame H Murray

I am directed [The Downing Street private secretary wrote] to acquaint you that having given further consideration to the question of affording you additional aid in the work upon which you are engaged of editing the New English Dictionary, he has received the Queen's approval to his recommendation that you should be granted a pension from the Civil List of £250 a year. He hopes that this proposal may be agreeable to you, and he wishes you all success in your important task.

The fact that the Queen directed payment for his work from the Civil List (a fund set up to pay the costs of the Royal Family), shows that she approved of it.

[Deleted]

It is how men behave at Delhi. I thought American men are gentlemen but I found out not all they are so.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 21:58:41 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Oops wait I found it out. It is DEDICATED to Queen Victoria. Not approved. Nice try.

public.oed.com/history-of-the-oed/dictionary-milestones/

You should do a little bit more research... see my post directly before this one.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 22:26:58 GMT -5 Opti said:

Nov 1, 2014 22:04:07 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

right - I understand that
so the guy that sat next to you and touched your leg, that was inappropriate. but had it been someone you're comfortable with or attracted to it wouldn't have been a problem.

so an attractive women walking down the street is being approached by lots of men, she is not interested in. how are these men suppose to know this? also what they say to get her attention nice ass, nice tits, hey lets go fuck. some women will respond to such comments. it all depends on who is saying and her mood at that very moment.

Z, leg touching better not happen in the workplace unless by accident.

IMO no exceptions. In a social situation perhaps, but the first physical

contact should not be on the leg generally.

Like Loser said, if I am walking down the street quickly, I am not interested in anyone.

Z, can't speak for others. Anything about my body as I  walk past you will make me

want to avoid you even if otherwise I might find you attractive. *I* will assume you

are an ass. A quality woman will not respond. Someone looking for sex or who has

esteem issues might respond. Maybe you know women like this. I do not.

This! Even if a man is cute if he will behave so he is a creep.

[Opti]

Nov 1, 2014 22:23:18 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

one year going home from a car show in Georgia maybe 2008. my friend was driving my show car, I was in passenger seat. we were in North Carolina in stop and go traffic. he blew the horn to get the attention of this chick driving a Honda with North Carolina plates. He got her number!
recently last year summer time, same guy. I was in the back seat and my brother was passenger in his Range Rover in Newark NJ. He blew the horn to get the attention of these two women getting in their Mercedes Benz. they not only stopped getting into the car but they ran over and he got the number to the one he was interested in. 

This is different. And actually if the car and the guy were interesting enough to me,

I might talk too.

However, when I used to walk a lot, I hated people honking at me. It is an

unequal situation. You are on foot, and they are in a car. No always for me.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 22:00:32 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:58:12 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

The current monarchy still approves of it (Queen Elizabeth).

Link please?

Royal approval continues until such time it is officially discontinued... even spanning numerous monarchies. The OED has never been disapproved by a single reigning King or Queen, since it's approval by Queen Victoria. (kind of like laws... they continue until they are invalidated, overturned, or otherwise ousted)

[Opti]

Nov 1, 2014 22:28:02 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Nov 1, 2014 21:58:41 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Oops wait I found it out. It is DEDICATED to Queen Victoria. Not approved. Nice try.

public.oed.com/history-of-the-oed/dictionary-milestones/

You should do a little bit more research... see my post directly before this one.

I would say while she commissioned the work, she probably did not go through

every entry and personally approve or disapprove.

[ZaireinHD]

Nov 1, 2014 22:26:58 GMT -5 Opti said:

Z, leg touching better not happen in the workplace unless by accident.

IMO no exceptions. In a social situation perhaps, but the first physical

contact should not be on the leg generally.

Like Loser said, if I am walking down the street quickly, I am not interested in anyone.

Z, can't speak for others. Anything about my body as I  walk past you will make me

want to avoid you even if otherwise I might find you attractive. *I* will assume you

are an ass. A quality woman will not respond. Someone looking for sex or who has

esteem issues might respond. Maybe you know women like this. I do not.

oh that's funny Ferri
you think you can resist this pimp!

[Opti]

You are a pimp?

Umm, sorry?

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 22:33:10 GMT -5 Opti said:

Nov 1, 2014 22:28:02 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

You should do a little bit more research... see my post directly before this one.

I would say while she commissioned the work, she probably did not go through

every entry and personally approve or disapprove.

General approval counts. Obviously she couldn't approve of EVERY word in there... she had important Queenly things to do. That's why she paid him to do it.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2014 22:32:08 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Nov 1, 2014 22:00:32 GMT -5 @tiki said:

Link please?

Royal approval continues until such time it is officially discontinued... even spanning numerous monarchies. The OED has never been disapproved by a single reigning King or Queen, since it's approval by Queen Victoria. (kind of like laws... they continue until they are invalidated, overturned, or otherwise ousted)

OK you got me it proved all the other dictionary's got it wrong!

[ZaireinHD]

Nov 1, 2014 22:31:02 GMT -5 Opti said:

This is different. And actually if the car and the guy were interesting enough to me,

I might talk too.

However, when I used to walk a lot, I hated people honking at me. It is an

unequal situation. You are on foot, and they are in a car. No always for me.

so there it is! that's your situation. You see yourself as the women in the harassment video.
ok when you used to walk a lot you got unwanted attention from men.

I will not say or make gestures to women jogging, or clearly out for exercising. otherwise - fair game.

[Opti]

Nov 1, 2014 22:37:05 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Nov 1, 2014 22:33:10 GMT -5 Opti said:

I would say while she commissioned the work, she probably did not go through

every entry and personally approve or disapprove.

General approval counts. Obviously she couldn't approve of EVERY word in there... she had important Queenly things to do. That's why she paid him to do it.

Correct, while she commissioned and might have even paid for the entire work,

she was unlikely to approve/disapprove/be neutral on that particular entry.

Language evolves. I live in the US not Britain. What will be considered sexual

harassment in the legal sense, for any particular workplace, and for any individual

woman in likely to have slightly different definitions.

I believe some of us female posters are saying yes we see sexual harrassment

in that video. And that its not just the two men that walked by her for more than a moment.

[billisonboard]

Nov 1, 2014 22:44:51 GMT -5 Opti said:

... I believe some of us female posters are saying yes we see sexual harrassment in that video. And that its not just the two men that walked by her for more than a moment.

And some people are saying that what you are labeling harassment should not be so labeled.