Woman Harrassed Simply By Walking in New York

[Shooby]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/oct/29/woman-records-10-hours-of-harassment-walking-through-new-york

[Shooby]

I find the Smile Police extremely annoying.

[OldCoyote]

I never realized how many people that I may have harassed with a simple "Good Morning".

If it was not for what some perceive as "harassment" would you ever have been involved with an significant other? Husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend?

[swamp]

sometimes, it seems like whether or not something is considered harassment depends on whether or not you find the "harasser" interesting/attractive/appealing.

If you are complimented by a homeless guy, he's a creep, but if you're complimented by a hottie in a nice business suit, it's flattering.

[Tennesseer]

Oct 30, 2014 8:07:13 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

I never realized how many people that I may have harassed with a simple "Good Morning".

If it was not for what some perceive as "harassment" would you ever have been involved with an significant other? Husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend?

As long as your "Good Morning" eyes and smile are directed toward her eyes, you're good.

A "Good Morning" while 'elevator eyeballing' her entire body, not so good.

[swamp]

Oct 30, 2014 8:16:16 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Oct 30, 2014 8:07:13 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

I never realized how many people that I may have harassed with a simple "Good Morning".

If it was not for what some perceive as "harassment" would you ever have been involved with an significant other? Husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend?

As long as your "Good Morning" eyes and smile are directed toward her eyes, you're good.

A "Good Morning" while 'elevator eyeballing' her entire body, not so good.

Unless he's a hottie, then it's OK.

[ArchietheDragon]

Oct 30, 2014 8:09:40 GMT -5 swamp said:

sometimes, it seems like whether or not something is considered harassment depends on whether or not you find the "harasser" interesting/attractive/appealing.

If you are complimented by a homeless guy, he's a creep, but if you're complimented by a hottie in a nice business suit, it's flattering.

Harassment is defined by the victim.  So yes, this is absolutely the case. 

[Tennesseer]

Oct 30, 2014 8:16:46 GMT -5 swamp said:

Oct 30, 2014 8:16:16 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

As long as your "Good Morning" eyes and smile are directed toward her eyes, you're good.

A "Good Morning" while 'elevator eyeballing' her entire body, not so good.

Unless he's a hottie, then it's OK.

It isn't sexual harassment when welcomed. That is the case in the workplace too.

[ArchietheDragon]

Who ever said that New Yorkers were standoffish? 

[Tennesseer]

Oct 30, 2014 8:20:24 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Who ever said that New Yorkers were standoffish? 

I once was walking down Park Ave in NYC on my way to work and everyone was smiling at me.. I later discovered why: my pants' zipper was wide open. .

[Tiny]

Oct 30, 2014 8:07:13 GMT -5 OldCoyote said:

I never realized how many people that I may have harassed with a simple "Good Morning".

If it was not for what some perceive as "harassment" would you ever have been involved with an significant other? Husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend?

It's not necessarily the fact that you said "good morning" to some one.   I'm using the generic you here... it's that the young woman gets the "good morning" while the other people men and women around them DO NOT.   I've experienced this and witness this often.   

Example:   Elevator ride up to the office at a non-peak time - so there's potentially a mix of people (outsiders and people who work in the building on the elevator).   If there's a young, shapely woman dressed in something other than a boxy form hiding outfit along with me (or any other older woman) it's pretty much gauranteed that if a guy who doesnt' know any of us gets on the elevator - he's going to acknowledge the young shapely woman and ignore every one else.     I doubt the guy thinks this is harrassment - he's just showing his appreciation for a pretty woman - and what woman DOESN"T want to be acknowledged as being 'pretty' or 'special'?    The answer to that question is the one that's being singled out.

Being singled out can be a form of 'harrassment'.     

I've achieved an age (and shape) where I've effectively become invisible.   Men I don't know don't see me.   The only men who DO see me on the street are the homeless guys looking for $$  and that's probably because they are as invisible as I am. My invisibility makes me feel un safe/vulnerable sometimes...   someone who might want to take advantage of me (steal my purse whatever) is probably aware of  my 'invisibility' and THAT makes me a target.    Just saying.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I saw this story on our news here last night. The woman is an actress hired for an experiment that was filmed to see if women are overly subjected to harassment or catcalls while walking in public. They showed the full 10 min here.

There were the usual catcalls or whistles from construction workers up on girders. The one (or two) guys who followed her closely was kind of creepy - they appeared like they were more interested in robbing her than anything else.

Nowhere in the video did I see or hear threats of rape.

It also seems that they purposely chose a specific area of the City to do their test in. I'd be interested to see if they got the same results filming in the Upper East Side. I doubt it.

[Bluerobin]

I saw this on the TV.  She should be grateful for the attention.  A sense of humor would help.  Every old lady I catcall to smiles and says hello back at me!

[Opti]

Oct 30, 2014 10:49:19 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

I saw this story on our news here last night. The woman is an actress hired for an experiment that was filmed to see if women are overly subjected to harassment or catcalls while walking in public. They showed the full 10 min here.

There were the usual catcalls or whistles from construction workers up on girders. The one (or two) guys who followed her closely was kind of creepy - they appeared like they were more interested in robbing her than anything else.

Nowhere in the video did I see or hear threats of rape.

It also seems that they purposely chose a specific area of the City to do their test in. I'd be interested to see if they got the same results filming in the Upper East Side. I doubt it.

I think the threats of rape are after the video was posted.

One comment was informative and scary. One woman noted

once when she had been followed for 15 to 20 minutes, the guy

finally tried to pull her arm and drag her.

Luckily she broke away.

[Opti]

Oct 30, 2014 10:56:13 GMT -5 Bluerobin said:

I saw this on the TV.  She should be grateful for the attention.  A sense of humor would help.  Every old lady I catcall to smiles and says hello back at me!

Blue, you probably don't understand how tiresome it might be if you deal with it

everyday for far more than 10 minutes a day.

Sometimes when I am having a bad day I don't want the attention.

I do get the smile comment at times while working as a receptionist.

If I'm not sick or worrying about something pretty bad, I try to take it

graciously. Otherwise it can be very annoying.

Maybe your old ladies like it, IDK. They might be less friendly if they dealt

with it very frequently.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I think the threats of rape are after the video was posted.
One comment was informative and scary.

I didn't read the comments section in the link - they're comments from the general public - just like this board is.

My post is based on the full 10 minutes of the actual video I watched on TV last night.

They did do the filming in an area of New York that could be considered "not the best environment".

[Opti]

Got it SL. Just pointing out the rape threats did not happen during the video.

They were a response to it. And apparently a significant one.

[Shooby]

So, why do strangers think they have some right to comment to other people at all? Who are they to be the mood police on other people? It's incredibly rude. Now, if they walked by and said "Good morning" and left it at that fine. But, the rest is annoying.

[Peace Of Mind]

Wow!  She wasn't doing anything to draw attention to herself and had a dour look on her face while walking in a very non sexy way and guys were still all over her which implies there is a serious problem.  Being a woman, or curvy and/or pretty should not be open season for that behavior. What would have happened if she made eye contact or smiled or responded?   What if she was dressed to go out and had a dress on or heels or something sexy? 

There were so many guys hanging around and very few women. I saw a few who took it too far but for the most part I don't see "harassment" in people calling a woman beautiful, or saying hello or even Damn Girl!. But comments other than those types, or sexual in nature, would get old quick. The guys following her would have made me very nervous but she handled it well. But that was potential for real danger to a woman if they didn't back off.

I prefer the behavior from the guys in the video xmascookie posted.  They stared or smiled but they kept going while minding their own business.  Being the only woman amongst so many men while getting that kind of attention would scare me and I wouldn't like it at all.   If it was now and then amongst many other people I'd not be worried but that many in so short a time would have made me take up running! 

[Deleted]

uhh, I hate this crap. Keep your stupid comments to yourself.

I don't agree that I would feel any differently about a cute guy's comments either when walking down a city street.

In a different arena I might feel maybe ok, but when walking alone on the street just shut the hell up.

[Shooby]

How dare some stranger tell me how I should feel or be in the world. Gawd.

[hoops902]

Almost nothing that happened in that video qualifies as harassment by any reasonable definition.  It's a failed actress trying to gain some notoriety.

[zibazinski]

Keep your thoughts to yourself. No one has the RIGHT to comment anything to a total stranger. I had some old fart tell me to smile one time. I told him to go fuck himself and I hope he stoked out from shock. That's the kind of guy who thinks he has the right to say anything he's thinking to a woman and she just has to take it. Too bad she wasn't able to punch out the creeps but then SHE'D have been in trouble not the ones who caused trouble. Btw, she isn't ugly and those who think she is, that still doesn't give them the right to say shit to her and that she should be grateful. What conceit.

[Shooby]

"Almost nothing that happened in that video qualifies as harassment by any reasonable definition. It's a failed actress trying to gain some notoriety."

Perhaps not harassment but it's freaking tiring. It's tiring to listen to. If I am pondering my choice between a red and green pepper, I don't need some dipshit telling me to smile.

[Tennesseer]

Oct 30, 2014 14:48:10 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Almost nothing that happened in that video qualifies as harassment by any reasonable definition.  It's a failed actress trying to gain some notoriety.

While a few would might enjoy the attention, most folks, men and women, really don't like being treated like a piece of meat. Save the 'Oohs', 'wows' and 'Hey baby!' for your steaks.

And if you must ogle and leer, learn how to complete the action in a nanosecond. Most folks never notice it.

[hoops902]

Oct 30, 2014 15:51:49 GMT -5 Shooby said:

"Almost nothing that happened in that video qualifies as harassment by any reasonable definition. It's a failed actress trying to gain some notoriety."

Perhaps not harassment but it's freaking tiring. It's tiring to listen to. If I am pondering my choice between a red and green pepper, I don't need some dipshit telling me to smile.

I agree it would be annoying as hell.  I also think they're purposely trying to trump up the drama by saying she was "harassed" 100 times.  If I count everyone who speaks to be daily as harassment, I'd have 100 too.  It makes me question what they're calling "rape threats" because of it.  Personally, I think there's a significant difference between internet idiots typing random stuff, and someone making a legitimate threat (i.e.  when I'm playing video games and someone gets pissed and says they're going to come over and murder me...I take that as a much less serious threat than if my neighbor says he's going to come to my house tonight and put a bullet in my head.  I realize crazy internet people do dumb things...I'm just saying I take them with differing levels of seriousness).  I can easily see someone commenting with "I'd do her", and they determine it's a "rape threat" since she hasn't consented...specifically given that they're calling things harassment which aren't.

Frankly, I'd be far more  on their side if their characterization was closer to the truth of "Guys are idiots and annoy women when they catcall them...guys, stop being dicks!"

[zibazinski]

I think what bothers me is that how little the men here seem to even realize or care that they are being asses and actually are scary. Are we still raising men to act like this and think it's okay? I would have loved for a guy to have gone up to some of these sick punks and actually talked to them about their behavior and what it says about them and what it says to a woman.

[NoNamePerson]

I haven't seen the video so just asking blindly here.

Was she the only person/woman on the street at the time?

Not commenting on right or wrong just wondered how she determinded she was the target of all this attention.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I still think the makers of the video specifically chose that particular street/neighborhod to do the filming.

It's not the most ideal location in NY, and is most likely known for having people (mostly men) hanging out on the street corners/outside buildings or cruising up & down the sidewalk.

Do you think the result would have been the same if she'd been walking down Park Avenue or in SoHo? or Lenox Hill?

I seriously doubt it.

[Tennesseer]

Oct 30, 2014 16:30:12 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

I still think the makers of the video specifically chose that particular street/neighborhod to do the filming.

It's not the most ideal location in NY, and is most likely known for having people (mostly men) hanging out on the street corners/outside buildings or cruising up & down the sidewalk.

Do you think the result would have been the same if she'd been walking down Park Avenue or in SoHo? or Lenox Hill?

I seriously doubt it.

Why does it matter what street she was walking on?