kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
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Post by kittensaver on Oct 1, 2014 13:40:15 GMT -5
And I've been lucky that I'm healthy. I have no idea what I would do if I had some sort of short term disability and couldn't drive myself to a medical appointment or run errands.I worried about that too, when I lived on my own 3,000 miles from home and was between relationships so I can relate I guess I would have moved home for awhile. Or relied on friends helping me, but I had very few of those at the time. Yeah, I guess that's what I'd have to do.
Either have one of my parents come stay with me for the duration or go live with them temporarily. I don't have any friends locally, but that will change where I'm moving to, as I still have friends from the Navy there.
Thus the true value of cultivating a social support network around you/in your local community. Social and personal supports are sooooooooo important to one's physical and mental health
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Oct 1, 2014 13:41:19 GMT -5
I lived with roommates for years. It was an ever changing experience since there seemed to be a revolving door as people moved in & out. Most of it was chaotic but enjoyable. I owned the house so I made the rules. Every Saturday morning was cleaning. We'd crank the stereo & get to it. With all of us the house was ship shape in about a half hour. We took turns cooking dinner for everyone. We lived fairly communally. I sometimes miss the comraderie & the big dinners but I doubt I'd be happy living like that again.
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momofg
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Post by momofg on Oct 1, 2014 13:45:17 GMT -5
I lived alone for about 9 years before I bought my house. Once I bought the house all of sudden I had roommates again. First my brother moved in for a couple of years, then when he moved out my other brother moved in for a couple of years. Between the 2 of them I think I only got about 4 rent checks. I told my sister she couldn't move it!
After my 2nd brother moved out my son came along (9 years ago). Just recently my mother was with us for 2 years. She's finally in her new place so it's just me, DS, and the dog.
I miss living alone.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2014 13:54:29 GMT -5
I have lived alone for the last 20+ years and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm too set in my ways to make room for anyone else. Even when I was married, I couldn't wait for DH to leave for hunting/fishing trips.
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cronewitch
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I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 1, 2014 14:21:31 GMT -5
I left home after high school so alone. I didn't love or hate it but it allowed me to move when I could afford better. Then DH moved in so 17 years not alone. Divorce I lived alone 2 years, nice apartment then house. It was a little lonely but I liked my freedom to decorate or move on my own terms, then ISO moved in. So now I am alone again, really like it even if a little lonely. I am fixing up my house and might move again in a few years probably to a house, I don't enjoy apartments. I have never had a female roommate or moved into another person's home so always my place. ISO wants me to move to his house but I feel like company, I need to feel at home. I might go visit him for a few days today and spent last weekend at his house but it is good to come home.
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Bonny
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Location: No Place Like Home!
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Post by Bonny on Oct 1, 2014 14:27:16 GMT -5
I'm consistently surprised at the number of people who have never lived alone. They just go from parents to roommates to living with girlfriends/boyfriends or spouses.
So, is that you? If so, do you feel you missed out on anything, or had trouble developing independence? That's pretty much me.
I have and still get some serious breaks. DH used to travel quite a bit outside of the country and because the rental properties are all 500 miles away I'm often alone for weeks at time.
I find I love being alone for about 1 week. Then I find I have amnesia about all those little annoying things about DH that drive me crazy and have me fantasizing about living alone!
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 1, 2014 14:45:29 GMT -5
I'm an only child, I really don't like being alone. I do like that I get one day off a week that my husband works so I get the house to myself for the day. More than a day or two I get real restless.
It's funny that my fellow onlies don't enjoy living alone. I always thought that was one of the weird side effects of not having siblings - being more comfortable with solidarity and more protective of alone time / personal space than the average bear. I guess that's just me though. I don't like living alone. Being alone in the house is ok, as long as the kitties are there. Being in a house where I'm all alone and there are no pets.... no way in hell.... I need another living being to interact with, even if the interacting is getting little head bonks on my toes while i'm reading a book.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 14:49:48 GMT -5
even if the interacting is getting little head bonks on my toes while i'm reading a book.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Oct 1, 2014 14:52:43 GMT -5
I'm an only child, I really don't like being alone. I do like that I get one day off a week that my husband works so I get the house to myself for the day. More than a day or two I get real restless.
It's funny that my fellow onlies don't enjoy living alone. I always thought that was one of the weird side effects of not having siblings - being more comfortable with solidarity and more protective of alone time / personal space than the average bear. I guess that's just me though. I don't like living alone. Being alone in the house is ok, as long as the kitties are there. Being in a house where I'm all alone and there are no pets.... no way in hell.... I need another living being to interact with, even if the interacting is getting little head bonks on my toes while i'm reading a book. I can't imagine my life without an animal. No husband or kids, that I have no problem with but no animals... no freaking way. I was completely heartbroken after my first cat passed away and I said I wouldn't adopt another one for at least 6 months. It was only 2 months before I passed by an adoption event in a strip mall and ended up taking a cat home. I really did adopt another one too soon because after I got him home I broke down and started sobbing because I still missed my first cat. So glad I adopted the one I did though because he is a trip and I am 100% positive he landed in the right home because I am not sure there are many other people that would put up with his crazy ass
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 1, 2014 15:39:38 GMT -5
Even simple things like what to do when my car needs to go into the shop can be major logistical problems. And I've been lucky that I'm healthy. I have no idea what I would do if I had some sort of short term disability and couldn't drive myself to a medical appointment or run errands. You have to depend on friends a lot. After one of my surgeries, I had tag team help, my dad, a friend, TD and my sister all stayed with me for a week. 6 weeks, I could drive to work, but not 200 miles to the surgeon so my boss drove me there and back. it just becomes important to set things up ahead of time.
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Phoenix84
Senior Associate
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Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 17:19:33 GMT -5
Yeah, I guess that's what I'd have to do.
Either have one of my parents come stay with me for the duration or go live with them temporarily. I don't have any friends locally, but that will change where I'm moving to, as I still have friends from the Navy there.
Thus the true value of cultivating a social support network around you/in your local community. Social and personal supports are sooooooooo important to one's physical and mental health Easier said than done.
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kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
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Post by kittensaver on Oct 1, 2014 18:12:36 GMT -5
Thus the true value of cultivating a social support network around you/in your local community. Social and personal supports are sooooooooo important to one's physical and mental health Easier said than done. Very true! BUT - it can be done. But like everything else worthwhile, it takes some effort.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Oct 1, 2014 20:56:57 GMT -5
I lived alone in a room off campus for college. Had roommate in grad school (my hippie years, so it was 7 roommates). One of the roommates and I had finally had enough of all that drama, so we got an apartment when I got my real job. Took her with me when I bought my first house. When she decided she wanted to live alone (I didn't approve of her married boyfriend), I started living alone. Except for renting a room to college students a few times, I have lived alone since 1980.
I would not have it any other way. I have had two relationships that lasted over 15 years each. In each case, we agreed up front that we wanted to keep it that way for financial reasons. By the time of the second one. he had lived alone almost as long as me and said we'd end up hating each other if we moved in together. I do think he was right.
I have almost always had cats. They save my sanity. I am an introvert. I don't do a lot of social things but what I do, I totally enjoy. My friendships tend to last 20-30 years if they get past the first couple of years. I will be there for you.
When I had surgery, my friends still worked. I hired my cat sitter to take me to appointments when I was not allowed to drive. My friends made sure I had groceries, etc. They were great. That is when I learned if I ever have surgery again, I don't want flowers. I want my friends to help me out. Much more appreciated.
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Oct 1, 2014 21:00:21 GMT -5
I've been on my own since 2000 and I love it, I should have done this at least 15 years earlier than that.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Oct 1, 2014 21:16:21 GMT -5
Moved into my own Apt at about age 19 - then got married at 21 - and got another Apt with DH. We then bought a house a few years later, and then upgraded to a larger house 15 yrs after that. So I didn't spend a "lot" of time living on my own.
In more recent years of our marriage before his death, I relished having a guest room - it turned into my place to sleep - since he had a sinus condition and snored terribly - not to mention his drinking problem. The guest room was my refuge and became "my" room.
He's been gone a couple of years now, and while I like the quiet, I also miss the company (not necessarily from him) - and being able to cook meals together with and have someone to chat with over dinner or cuddle during a movie, etc.
I enjoy my independence and freedom, but miss the intimacy of someone to share it with too.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Oct 1, 2014 21:55:12 GMT -5
Nope, never lived alone. I shared a room, and a bed with my younger sister. In college I shared a dorm room with my roommate, who was the best. We also had a group of male friends who hung around with us; our room was the base, it seemed, everyone met at our room before meals, etc. BF and I moved into an apartment together, later got married, added a bunch of kids. I did childcare when our oldest kids were young, so had several extras around during the day, what's a few more toddlers here and there? When we first bought our house, it was a four unit, so we had tenants around, too.
It is interesting reading everyone's stories. It is also funny that I think of myself as an introvert, and something of a loner, and yet I am content seemingly constantly surrounded by people. I do enjoy my times of solitude, though, and get a little twitchy over the summer when everyone is home all the time. Guess I need that balance of both.
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Icelandic Woman
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Post by Icelandic Woman on Oct 2, 2014 13:57:53 GMT -5
I have lived alone since 1998 and wouldn't have it any other way! I did the brief marriage thing, a couple of living together relationships and a couple of roommate situations. Those were fine at that time in my life but not now! Oh I did briefly rent out my spare bedroom for about 6 months in 2007 but would never do it again! The extra money was nice but my peace of mind is priceless. I am not a social person and not a talker so I don't get lonely. I get enough people interaction at work so if I wanted extra then I would go out or invite friends over. I am an only child but I prefer being alone so I guess I am opposite of the other onlies that have posted.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2014 17:33:38 GMT -5
I went from Mom's house to being married with children, then a single parent. My youngest child graduated high school a few years ago, and they've both been in and out of my house since then. Technically, I've lived alone for almost a year now. Sometimes it doesn't really seem like it because DD and her children are over here all the time. I really like having the house to myself. I like being able to keep things the way I want them, I like the peace and quiet and I like being able to do whatever I want, when I want.
I think I'd be afraid to live in a big house by myself. My house is small enough that I'm comfortable being here by myself. Sometimes I think about getting another dog, but I'm not ready. My last dog passed away over a year ago and this is the longest time I've gone without a dog since I got my first one when I was a child. Right now, I don't want anybody or anything needing me to come home at a certain time every day, or do this or that at a certain time every day. That freedom still feels new to me and I'm not ready to give it up yet.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Oct 2, 2014 17:54:32 GMT -5
moved out from living with parents, and moved in with girlfriend for 18 / 19 years. now currently living alone. did I miss out or regret or would change the amount of time or wished I had lived alone first before moving in with girlfriend? Nope! I think I did just fine
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❤ mollymouser ❤
Senior Associate
Sarcasm is my Superpower
Crazy Cat Lady
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Oct 2, 2014 18:01:48 GMT -5
I lived at home until college, when I split my time between living at home and living in a sorority house. Then I moved to San Francisco for 3 years for law school and had a roomie in an apartment. There was no way I could afford not to share an apartment as a student living in San Francisco. I returned to my hometown and purchased a 1400 sq ft condo (2 bed/2 bath) in 1992. I lived there ~ alone ~ until I got married in 2003. (OK, there were cats living there, too)
So, yes, I lived alone for 11 years. I worked ridiculously long hours and when I came home, I wanted peace and quiet and solitude. I didn't have cable, I didn't have a cell phone, and I didn't have a computer. (Then I got married and got a husband, a computer, cable TV and a cell phone ~ all at the same time! It was culture shock!)
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Oct 2, 2014 18:13:45 GMT -5
I lived at home until college, when I split my time between living at home and living in a sorority house. Then I moved to San Francisco for 3 years for law school and had a roomie in an apartment. There was no way I could afford not to share an apartment as a student living in San Francisco. I returned to my hometown and purchased a 1400 sq ft condo (2 bed/2 bath) in 1992. I lived there ~ alone ~ until I got married in 2003. (OK, there were cats living there, too)
So, yes, I lived alone for 11 years. I worked ridiculously long hours and when I came home, I wanted peace and quiet and solitude. I didn't have cable, I didn't have a cell phone, and I didn't have a computer. (Then I got married and got a husband, a computer, cable TV and a cell phone ~ all at the same time! It was culture shock!) And got owned by a BUNCH of cats!
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Oct 2, 2014 19:41:59 GMT -5
I lived at home until college, when I split my time between living at home and living in a sorority house. Then I moved to San Francisco for 3 years for law school and had a roomie in an apartment. There was no way I could afford not to share an apartment as a student living in San Francisco. I returned to my hometown and purchased a 1400 sq ft condo (2 bed/2 bath) in 1992. I lived there ~ alone ~ until I got married in 2003. (OK, there were cats living there, too)
So, yes, I lived alone for 11 years. I worked ridiculously long hours and when I came home, I wanted peace and quiet and solitude. I didn't have cable, I didn't have a cell phone, and I didn't have a computer. (Then I got married and got a husband, a computer, cable TV and a cell phone ~ all at the same time! It was culture shock!) You have assimilated nicely.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Oct 2, 2014 21:46:52 GMT -5
I've been living alone for the past seven years, just me and the cat. My mom comes and stays a few months almost every year. I feel down when she leaves, I love the company. But for the most part I like being on my own. I am shy and quiet. I cannot stand loud noises; like music, tv, radio. A friend of mine moved into the condo for a few months a few years ago. It helped me financially but was very hard for me to share my space. Sometimes being alone becomes overwhelming, though. Last winter we had a snowstorm so huge that if you stepped outside you'll have snow up to your waist. The storm was Friday morning, and they didn't clean my street until Tuesday morning. I spent all those days alone at home. By Monday night I was this close to crying and screaming in frustration. I couldn't spend one more day without seeing or talking face to face with someone.
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Spellbound454
Senior Member
"In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends"
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Post by Spellbound454 on Oct 3, 2014 11:12:58 GMT -5
I have lived alone for nearly a year. Thought it would be awful as the house has always been so busy. but 3 weeks later...I thought I kind of like a bit of peace and quiet. Then I do work...and go out and about a lot...so I'm not alone for long. ...and at the weekends they all descend and create chaos again.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 3, 2014 11:27:42 GMT -5
I have lived alone for nearly a year. Thought it would be awful as the house has always been so busy. but 3 weeks later...I thought I kind of like a bit of peace and quiet. Then I do work...and go out and about a lot...so I'm not alone for long. ...and at the weekends they all descend and create chaos again. Who's they? Your kids?
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Oct 3, 2014 17:56:33 GMT -5
This is the first time living alone for me, I like it.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Oct 3, 2014 18:54:45 GMT -5
I lived alone for just under a year. I had roommates for years before that... I wish I had lived alone sooner. I really enjoyed it.
Sent from my HTC One_M8 using proboards
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Oct 3, 2014 19:50:23 GMT -5
After high school I did two years of college in the dorms with a roommate. While both were good roommates that cured me of the roommate living situation. I lived alone from 1982 - 1993 when DD was born. For most of that time I lived alone in a big old house in a crappy part of town, rent was $300 a month. I loved it. The landlords didn't care what I did in the yard as long as it was kept up. I definitely improved on it by adding flower beds, plants, etc. I had a full time job working wacky hours and finished up college during that time. After DD was born in 93 I did the single parent thing for the next 20 years. DD was in and out of the house the last 2 years at college. She was married last December and it is back to me and a couple of cats. DD is still around quite a bit they only live an hours drive away. She comes to visit my washer and dryer. Since DD has been married I have enjoyed having my space back and having my time back, no more driving to dance lessons/band practice etc. Lately though I have been feeling very lonely. Before when I lived alone I dated, had school etc. now I need to find some type of activity for me. It would be nice to have someone to share dinner with or snuggle with while watching a movie but I don't see that happening any time soon.
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wanttofire
Initiate Member
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Post by wanttofire on Oct 3, 2014 20:17:16 GMT -5
Yes and I loved it!! It was a house that had 3 apts in it. It was $350/month and it was so cozy and perfect. I still think about that place every now and then. I had roommates at one time and didnt care for it, now I'm married.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2014 20:53:36 GMT -5
Never. Sometimes I think I'd like it. If it ever happens will I be to old to really enjoy it?
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