Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 0:07:52 GMT -5
I'm consistently surprised at the number of people who have never lived alone. They just go from parents to roommates to living with girlfriends/boyfriends or spouses.
So, is that you? If so, do you feel you missed out on anything, or had trouble developing independence?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 1, 2014 0:11:36 GMT -5
No, I have never lived alone. Went to college and had roommates. Out of college, I moved in with my sister for awhile and then a friend. Then, I got married. But, I don't believe it hindered my independence in anyway. I didn't get married until I was financially able to support myself and had finished my degree and was working.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Oct 1, 2014 0:14:54 GMT -5
Yes, but only once.
I did it for one glorious year. It was the best thing ever!
Otherwise, it was always roommates or boyfriends.
Now, it's children and husband.
ETA: to answer the second part of your question.
Yes, in some ways it did hinder some of my life skills. I never bothered buying furniture or dishes, because I always used my roommates. I never paid a bill, because someone was already paying them (I just had to fork over the other half). I still don't know how to do a lot of basic household stuff like hang a picture or curtains.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 1, 2014 0:24:44 GMT -5
I have lived alone multiple times, and I think its only glorious in small doses.
I think I first lived alone in my last apartment as an undergrad when my room-mate graduated and I stayed on for another 6 months. After that my first apt in NJ I suppose for more than a year before my XH graduated and joined me in NJ.
I have lived alone since the end of 1999/2000 - two different apartments broken up by a home I owned by myself.
So far overall, I preferred when I lived in my first house with my XH or lived with my XBF in a one bedroom apt for perhaps 4 years.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 1, 2014 0:26:33 GMT -5
If I lived alone, I believe I would prefer to live in an apt or condo rather than have the upkeep of a home. That can take a lot of time.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 1, 2014 0:26:54 GMT -5
I know you didn't ask, but I think I missed out on the American dream where you get married, stay married, and live in one place more than 10 years.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 1, 2014 0:30:18 GMT -5
If I lived alone, I believe I would prefer to live in an apt or condo rather than have the upkeep of a home. That can take a lot of time. It can. I love space, I love to garden and entertain outside, so I prefer homes.
They do come in various sizes including various lot sizes. (The other big advantage of having a home, is having your own driveway, your own garage and not having to share laundry facilities. And the quiet of only sharing walls with people you live with. Optimist drifts off into nostalgia... )
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 1, 2014 0:32:02 GMT -5
I'm consistently surprised at the number of people who have never lived alone. They just go from parents to roommates to living with girlfriends/boyfriends or spouses.
So, is that you? If so, do you feel you missed out on anything, or had trouble developing independence? I have never lived alone. I got with Baby Daddy at 19. We separated when I was 26 and I have lived with my kids since. I do think I missed out on being young and partying, but wouldn't trade my girls for the world! I am very independent. I just look at it as I will get to live alone sooner and since I am so independent, I think I will enjoy living alone when I finally get to. When I turn 40, my kids will be 19 and 21.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Oct 1, 2014 0:32:32 GMT -5
Since I grew up and moved out on my own I haven't lived with anyone. Growing up with my family cured me of any need to live with anyone else ever again.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 1, 2014 0:40:18 GMT -5
Since I grew up and moved out on my own I haven't lived with anyone. Growing up with my family cured me of any need to live with anyone else ever again. Damn, I think I want to hear the stories.
Are you the poster who also has lots of pets?
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quince
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Post by quince on Oct 1, 2014 0:40:58 GMT -5
Parents, Grandparents, dorm, then boyfriend--> room mate, boyfriend-->husband. Not really feeling hindered on the independence thing- I did pretty much everything as far as supporting the household financially and with housework with boyfriend #1.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Oct 1, 2014 0:55:28 GMT -5
Since I grew up and moved out on my own I haven't lived with anyone. Growing up with my family cured me of any need to live with anyone else ever again. Damn, I think I want to hear the stories.
Are you the poster who also has lots of pets?
Depends on how you define a lot. 6ish? In my defense I would be perfectly happy with a cat and a dog, but I kept running across other animals who were abused or abandoned. I'm at my limit now, and as this crop starts thinning out I'm not looking to replace them. Famous last words.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Oct 1, 2014 1:10:55 GMT -5
Yes, I lived alone for just over one year right before I was married.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Oct 1, 2014 2:09:28 GMT -5
No, never lived alone. I got married at 20, while still in college. Went from a roommate to a spouse. My 40th anniversary is next spring.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 1, 2014 3:21:18 GMT -5
I like having my own place and my BF having his own place. We can spend every day/night together, at one or the other. But I like knowing I have my own space, if I ever want/need it.
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Oct 1, 2014 4:09:16 GMT -5
Yes, and I live alone now, so far, about 23 of my 62 years total. I will live alone as long as possible and dread the idea of having to be in a nursing home etc. I do not want a live-in roommate or ISO or husband. I do have my two dachshunds or they have me; I am not sure which.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Oct 1, 2014 5:26:23 GMT -5
Aside from the cat I have lived alone for 11 years now. Got to admit, I DO love the freedom to do what I want, when I want, spend what I want, when I want and eat what I feel like whenever. However, I DO also miss the companionship of a spouse or SO.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 1, 2014 6:43:35 GMT -5
No. Never lived alone. It didn't hinder me.
In college, I lived in a house with others for several years. I paid $250 for rent. My friend paid $500/month for a studio. We all had our own lives, own schedules. We didn't even go grocery shopping together. We would do Sat morning breakfasts together.
Because I kept my costs low in college, I had enough savings left over to put down on our first place with DH.
I think that getting to know one's self and the ability to be comfortable in one's skin doesn't depend on whether or not you live alone.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2014 6:45:05 GMT -5
Yes, it was heaven on earth!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2014 7:03:31 GMT -5
Not only did I not live alone until I got divorced, I never had my own room. I hardly ever had my own bed except for the three years of college. I shared a bed with my sister and then my husband. I was divorced for almost 5 years before letting someone move in. It was great. But living with someone is greater. You miss the little stuff . . . like someone else being home when you get there. I've been remarried for five years and love living with DH.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Oct 1, 2014 7:03:51 GMT -5
Yes, I've lived alone but I didn't like it.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Oct 1, 2014 7:17:55 GMT -5
I've never lived alone. Went from mom to dorm to mom to roommate to boyfriend/hubs. I've always been pretty damn independent so having someone to split bills with didn't hinder me. If anything, it turned me into the boss. I'm controlling and like things done my way. :-)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2014 7:24:24 GMT -5
I like having my own place and my BF having his own place. We can spend every day/night together, at one or the other. But I like knowing I have my own space, if I ever want/need it. I agree. DH and I "lived together in two houses" for 6 years before marrying. We just weren't in any hurry and DS needed time to adjust.
In answer to the original question: I came from a family of 5 kids. Never had my own room, always had to watch what others wanted on TV, was expected to share everything. I know my parents meant well, but I think that by the time I got out I was more selfish than average.
My first time living alone was my last 2 years of college. It was bliss. I was living in a big old Victorian house in bad condition that was freezing in the winter, sleeping on a mattress left by the last person who lived there and it was still bliss. I could watch old movies on TV till 2 AM and play whatever music I wanted. (I kept the volume down.) It was even better when I started working and got a nice apartment, some furniture and a POS car.
When I was 16 I bought a 2-family house with a friend. It was a mistake. He had the upstairs, I had the downstairs, but he was a raving extravert and very needy. He hated being in his part of the house alone. He wanted to be with me. All the time. Jumping from the frying pan into the fire, I moved in with the guy I'd eventually marry. I rented my half of the 2-family and we eventually sold it. Moving in with the BF was another mistake, really. The relationship was volatile but I'd given up my own place and given away/thrown out the furniture. I had nowhere to go.
Fast forward to age 43 when we divorced and I bought another, smaller house. DS was 12 so I wasn't really alone except when he was away at school (he went to a boarding school for HS). Current DH and I were dating but we each liked our own space and there was no compelling financial reason to move in together. It was a bit of a hassle but it worked out well. We bought a house together when we married in 2003, and it's been wonderful. I do like having someone at home, someone to share jokes with our comment on the news.
If something happened to DH I'd think long and hard before moving in with anyone or letting them move in with me. There are too many potential downsides. I got lucky with current DH.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Oct 1, 2014 7:31:34 GMT -5
I never lived alone. Do I think I missed things? yes. Did it help financially? Yes. would I do it the same way if I had to do over? Not sure.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2014 7:33:59 GMT -5
Nope. Lived at home until 22, then bought my own house and my boyfriend (now Ex 1.0) moved in with me along with another room mate. There was 7 years between my divorce and remarrying, but I was living with DS.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 1, 2014 7:48:23 GMT -5
I loved living alone at my last apartment. (My previous apartment, not so much, as it was a townhouse and I didn't feel completely safe there.). Occasionally, people would cut through and walk right outside my window at night, and I found that disturbing. My last apartment, though, was great. It was so nice doing my own thing all the time. I decided that DH is the only adult I can stand to live with, as I still feel comfortable like that, with the added benefit of his company.
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cael
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Post by cael on Oct 1, 2014 7:54:41 GMT -5
Never lived alone unless you count a semester in college with no roommate! (which was great lol) I really like my space and free/alone time but once DH went down to visit his family for 10 days, and by the time he got back I was going a little crazy with just the cat, so we were happy to have him back I think I would do ok living alone as long as I kept busy. It's weird, since we moved to my parents' house I feel kind of bad because I get home from work and go directly upstairs to my own couch/TV... after a day of dealing with people all i really want is to sit around alone for a while. My parents get it, but I feel badly because I know they want to see and talk to me, lol.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 1, 2014 7:58:48 GMT -5
yup. lived alone for a year in my first condo after my roommate moved back home to go back to school. I was maybe 24? after that year, I moved my stuff back to my parents' house and put tenants in that condo while I travelled extensively for work. I moved into a 1BR apt in the fall of 2005 and have lived alone ever since. will be moving in w/my sis/BIL next week where I'll stay until I buy another place hopefully by the end of the year - where I'll also have a roommate. these lists are not at all inclusive, but it's a good start.... what I loved about living alone - -things stayed where I put them (even if I couldn't remember where that was ) -I knew exactly what I had stashed for stockpile, and rarely ran out of things. if I did, it was my fault alone. -I can come and go as I please w/o worry about bothering anyone else -pants? who needs pants? -not closing the bathroom door, ever what I didn't like about living alone - -carrying a whole household on one income sucks sometimes. definitely better to have someone to split the bills with -it's going to be nice to have another person in the house to chat with instead of having my tv on for background noise -all those chores that you hate to do? they are all yours.
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cael
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Post by cael on Oct 1, 2014 8:01:44 GMT -5
Man.... I miss not having to wear pants at home!!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 1, 2014 8:04:02 GMT -5
I bought a house at 30. Lived alonev until BF, now D H moved in at 32. I didn't invite him. He just showed up
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