ohhkay2
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Post by ohhkay2 on Oct 1, 2014 8:12:12 GMT -5
January will make two years of me living alone, signed the lease at 24. I don't like it and it honestly wasn't my choice, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a roommate either. I never signed up for cable since I moved in and I cancelled my internet in Feb when they hiked up the prices. I'm very low maintance and get away with a space heater/fan for the room that I'm in (<$30 power bills)and using my work air card for internet. I'd probably resent paying more to share an apartment, especially since I travel up to 100% some months. I would love to rent a room from someone I know like I did for my last two years of college/immediately after graduating. I've always been independent by nature, living alone hasn't changed that.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Oct 1, 2014 8:14:15 GMT -5
At this point I can't imagine NOT living alone. I lived with roommates in college but started living alone at age 22. At age 29 my then BF moved in. We lived together for 2 yrs (thank goodness we decided to live together first before marrying. I dodged a bullet). Not sure I will ever live with anyone again. I like having my own space. I like doing what I want when I want, and most importantly I like having control of the remote . I am perfectly happy with BF having his own place and me having my own place. I may change my mind some day but I wouldn't count on it. My dad never lived alone a day in his life and when mom passed away he had no clue how to be alone. I know that he missed HER but I also know he just didn't know how to be alone. I don't ever want to be someone who doesn't know how live by themselves.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 1, 2014 8:22:01 GMT -5
I lived alone for several years while DD was at college, and liked. DH was my BF/fiance' and we didn't live together for six years. I like living with him, as well ( most of the time, of course   .
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 1, 2014 8:27:53 GMT -5
I lived alone for a little over a year between college and getting married. I liked it, but I always felt slightly uneasy being in a house (or apartment) alone at night. To this day even if it just me and the kids, I get a little freaked out. It didn't help that one night DS opened a window in the living room while I was laying down in bed in my bedroom. I knew he had gotten up and gone potty, but I thought he had gone straight back to bed. Since he wasn't bothering me, I stayed laying down and watching TV... Dateline, about a home intruder. Then I realized I was hearing crickets and outdoor noises and I got up and noticed the window open. By that time, DS was already back in bed asleep and I wasn't going to wake him. But I was on edge all night. Thankfully, I have a small house and I checked every nook and cranny and checked on my dog before I could fall asleep.
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Oct 1, 2014 8:44:02 GMT -5
I lived alone for 5 years or so and it was glorious. Growing up, I always had to share a room and sometimes even my twin bed. I had roommates the first three years of college. I moved in with DP in 2009 and while I love him, I miss having my own space sometimes.
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mrnewengland
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Post by mrnewengland on Oct 1, 2014 8:47:07 GMT -5
I haven't really had a roommate in 11 years. After college I moved in with a friend for a while but bought a 1BR condo in '03. Just moved into a house recently and live by myself. I had a very serious girlfriend for a couple years and I stayed at her place about 7 nights a week and all my stuff was there... but I kept my condo and didn't rent it so I don't think that really counts.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 1, 2014 9:07:10 GMT -5
I haven't really had a roommate in 11 years. After college I moved in with a friend for a while but bought a 1BR condo in '03. Just moved into a house recently and live by myself. I had a very serious girlfriend for a couple years and I stayed at her place about 7 nights a week and all my stuff was there... but I kept my condo and didn't rent it so I don't think that really counts. We are almost twins, except on the SO front. Except for the 1 year living in two different rented room situations, I lived alone for about 13 years at this point.
No SO for about 14 years. Too poor to date and too many idiots in my real life giving themselves advice and putting it under the guise of always coming up with reasons why *I* shouldn't have anyone in my life. They are as stupid as many Ymers(sorry, about dating & relationships). Waiting for stability is stupid, if you don't know when and if it will show up.
If you think your DH is too much work, then leave him and leave me out of it dammit.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 1, 2014 9:10:13 GMT -5
Yep, lived alone. Sucked. Don't really want to do it again. Also don't really want to live with anyone other than DH either. cael and chiver78 pants are totally optional ETA: msventoux I have four indoor cats, a elderly Aussie and several barn cats. My home would be totally empty without them. I hated living in the dorms with no pets. Never doing that again.... ever.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Oct 1, 2014 9:19:15 GMT -5
I moved out of my parents' home at 23, and have lived alone for most of the time since then. When I do have someone living with me, it's nice to have the conversation and someone to help with the household chores. Overall though, I prefer the solitude.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 9:20:09 GMT -5
It should be pretty obvious from my previous posts, but I've lived alone since leaving for my first "real job" after college.
I have to admit, while I would appreciate the companionship a SO might bring, the concept of living with someone as an adult is a bit daunting. Those are uncharted waters.
I'm sure I could adapt to living with a reasonable person, but it would be an adjustment. I'm not used to telling people things like when I'm going out, or when I expect to be back. I eat what I want and when I want. I only have to clean to the standard I'm comfortable with. I don't have to clear spending with anyone. And I very much have the ingrained attitude of "if I don't do it, it won't get done."
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2014 9:23:18 GMT -5
Sharing a bathroom sucks big time. My dream home has two master bathrooms!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 1, 2014 9:26:18 GMT -5
Yes, for 30 years. Living with someone after not having to be answerable (not the word exactly but I've not had enough coffee yet this morning to find the right word) to anyone has definitely been a change of lifestyle for me. I do have to admit, those few days where TD goes on business trips, I've come to appreciate the time alone.
I think that the thing that bothers me the most is needing to want his opinion on changes I make. For instance, when we did the counters recently, I'd have chosen exactly what I chose had I been here myself without thinking about talking him into WHY I chose them. I just bought a new duvet for the down comforter and found one that will look nice with the Turkish rug that we bought in Turkey. His response was "don't you think it's a little dull?". The walls are light, the floors are light, the furniture is light - this house needs some contrast. It will look good, but he turned his nose up at it because he can't see it. I think part of it is that he can't see what matches and doesn't - whether it's because he doesn't care or he can't see color variations, I don't know. I DO know that I have to go with him to pick out paint. We had an argument in Lowe's this summer when he told me to pick out the paint trim color and I chose one that matched the current trim exactly. He told me that I was wrong and I told him that if I was wrong, I'd buy another gallon of paint. I wasn't wrong. I did the same thing with the interior trim paint he wants to touch up this winter.
Another thing.....it's been a year now and not a single one of my pictures have been hung on the wall. I don't expect all of them to be hung, but I don't feel like I can make unilateral decisions about this and he wants to think about it. How long?
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 1, 2014 9:27:32 GMT -5
Sharing a bathroom sucks big time. My dream home has two master bathrooms! DH grew up in a house with 1 bathroom and had 7 siblings. Oh yeah, the washer and dryer were in that bathroom too.... and it was off the kitchen. We can deal with sharing the bathroom It's not so bad with the two of us in there and 2-4 cats 'helping' us brush our teeth
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Oct 1, 2014 9:30:10 GMT -5
I have lived alone. Bought my own house @ 30. DH didn't show up until I was 36. I had no problem living by myself.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2014 9:32:00 GMT -5
Oh yeah. If I knew how to post a picture I'd put one in of the cat in the sink while DS is trying to get ready for work. Cat just assumes DS will go elsewhere to run water but the cat has a good view. Guess what? DS went to kitchen sink and brushed teeth. DD brushes teeth in the shower while cat puts paw in occasionally or as she likes to say, just moves the shower curtain enough so there's water on the floor.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 1, 2014 9:36:55 GMT -5
Oh yeah. If I knew how to post a picture I'd put one in of the cat in the sink while DS is trying to get ready for work. Cat just assumes DS will go elsewhere to run water but the cat has a good view. Guess what? DS went to kitchen sink and brushed teeth. DD brushes teeth in the shower while cat puts paw in occasionally or as she likes to say, just moves the shower curtain enough so there's water on the floor. We take the handles off our sinks when not in use because the cats turn them on to play with the water. So when the sink is on, they're all playing in the water.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2014 9:38:32 GMT -5
OMG. That's funny. Please post a video!!
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Oct 1, 2014 9:40:48 GMT -5
Sharing a bathroom sucks big time. My dream home has two master bathrooms! I never plan to share a bathroom with anyone ever again. In fact, I might also want my own bedroom - LOL! Seriously, you can get busy with a person anywhere. I don't really need to SLEEP with him
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2014 9:43:23 GMT -5
I know now why his ex slept in another bedroom!!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 1, 2014 9:56:20 GMT -5
Sharing a bathroom sucks big time. My dream home has two master bathrooms! I never plan to share a bathroom with anyone ever again. In fact, I might also want my own bedroom - LOL! Seriously, you can get busy with a person anywhere. I don't really need to SLEEP with him see, that I actually miss. this summer when I've crashed with my friend on Cape Cod, he's got a studio apt w/a California King, so we share that. going to be interesting when we share my queen bed next week when he comes up to help me load up my POD. lol...
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2014 10:01:15 GMT -5
I lived alone for two years after I graduated and before I got married. I HATED having a roommate and HATED living in the dorms. I jumped at the chance to take my grandmother's house when my parents offered to let me live here rent free.
It was awesome. I liked being able to do whatever I want without consideration of others. It was a huge adjustment when DH moved in. It took me awhile to adjust my manners/habits in a way to respect there is another person sharing my space.
I felt like I had to do it because I had a fear of becoming my grandmother if I didn't have that gap between being a daughter and being a wife. In reality it was a totally unrealistic fear, I am miles ahead of my grandmother just in the fact that I can drive.
She didn't know how to handle bills or manage a household, my grandfather did all that. She never bothered to learn either so she left a huge mess for my parents to clean up after she died.
I swore I wasn't going to do that to DH/my future kids and I felt strongly that part of avoiding it was to make sure I knew I could handle running a household alone.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 1, 2014 10:04:06 GMT -5
So am I the only one that HATED living alone?
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Oct 1, 2014 10:10:21 GMT -5
So am I the only one that HATED living alone? You grew up with 7 siblings, right? I have a friend who doesn't like living alone and grew up in a very large family. I think she became accustomed to always having another person around. This is only a guess, of course. She has 3 ex-husbands and is on the search for #4. She truly is unable to be alone. Sorry, I got off track. I don't want you to, in any way, think I am comparing the two of you because I am not. The large family is the only correlation.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2014 10:13:20 GMT -5
My brother hates being alone which I do think is partly why he hasn't launched yet. I am thinking if he could find a solid roommate that would help immensely with getting him out of my parents' house.
Depends entirely on your personality. I am an introvert and also tend towards being a loner. So I tend to prefer my own company, being around people constantly exhausts me. Dorm life was a freaking nightmare for me.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Oct 1, 2014 10:14:29 GMT -5
Graduated college (where I always had roommates) then got an apartment all to myself for about 1.5 years. Broke the lease early due to problems with the asshat upstairs and my sister and I shared first an apartment, then a townhome together until DH and I were married.
I treasure my quiet time and miss that. Good thing is DH and DD have their special hobby (that I'm not nuts about) they go to and leave me alone and I get some quite time every now and then. It works for all of us.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Oct 1, 2014 10:20:37 GMT -5
My brother hates being alone which I do think is partly why he hasn't launched yet. I am thinking if he could find a solid roommate that would help immensely with getting him out of my parents' house.
Depends entirely on your personality. I am an introvert and also tend towards being a loner. So I tend to prefer my own company, being around people constantly exhausts me. Dorm life was a freaking nightmare for me. I loved dorm life, but the thought of it as an adult.... yeah, not so much. I like living alone because I can always invite friends over or go out when feel like being around people but I have place to come for solitude. Honestly, I don't understand how parents do it sometimes. My hat is off to all of you. I have to interact with people in person and over the phone a lot at work and some days all I want to do is go home and binge watch something on Netflix. I really couldn't imagine going home and dealing with kids. I don't think I am as strong as some of you when it comes to that type of thing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2014 10:28:35 GMT -5
I spent a lot of time alone growing up. My step-father was a raging, functioning alcoholic and my mother worked swing-shift a lot. I was stuck home with 2 siblings that hated me and my step-father who was nice for the first hour after he came home from work...
I think a lot of people never truly learn to be happy while they are alone. I am the complete opposite. Not sure if it is nature/nurture, but from the reading I have done, it is likely both. I learned at a very young age that there was safety and security when I was alone.
As an adult, I crave alone time and people give me anxiety. As I have gotten older, this seems to have increased.
My "church" is to take my dog out into the local wilderness alone and go hiking or rock hounding. Nothing recharges me more than a day in the woods with the dog.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Oct 1, 2014 10:47:40 GMT -5
Now I do part time on account of working in another state.
Also did it for 6 months in 2010 for the same reason
Also did it in 2008 for the same reason for 4 months.
But long term: NEVER. Went from living with my mom to married.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Oct 1, 2014 10:49:31 GMT -5
Also it is a culture thing, most Haitians live with their parents till they get married and need to move out. Sometimes they get married and still stay with the parents.
Exceptions: job/school in another state or those that wanted to be independent.
We are definitely big on multigenerational living arrangements.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Oct 1, 2014 10:55:24 GMT -5
I lived alone for 3 months. I went from home, to an apartment with my sister, bought a place with my ex, stayed with a friend when we separated, then rented my own place when we divorced, lived there three months by myself before my sister moved in, now I live with my with current SO. The cost of living alone has been the biggest deterrent for me. When I was apartment shopping after the divorce, I could easily afford a tiny place in a sketchy area ($550), or I could stretch my budget and get a 1 bedroom ($750) or 2 bedroom($850) in a nice neighborhood. Two bedroom in the nice neighborhood made the most sense since I could easily add a roommate and save even more, which I did. Sometimes I do fantasize about buying my own place, decorating, then letting my SO move in. Trying to decorate with him sometimes is just
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