CarolinaKat
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:10:37 GMT -5
Posts: 6,364
|
Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 1, 2014 11:08:59 GMT -5
So am I the only one that HATED living alone? You grew up with 7 siblings, right? I have a friend who doesn't like living alone and grew up in a very large family. I think she became accustomed to always having another person around. This is only a guess, of course. She has 3 ex-husbands and is on the search for #4. She truly is unable to be alone. Sorry, I got off track. I don't want you to, in any way, think I am comparing the two of you because I am not. The large family is the only correlation. Actually, I grew up/am an only child. DH has 7 siblings. ETA: he has more if we're counting the dad's side of things, but he only grew up with 7 of them
|
|
lexxy703
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 26, 2011 13:52:17 GMT -5
Posts: 13,771
|
Post by lexxy703 on Oct 1, 2014 11:16:08 GMT -5
I currently live alone except my 3 feline friends. At first I did not like it because it was the first time ever. I was nervous to go to bed in case someone broke in. Now I'm fine with it & even enjoy having the remote to myself. Sometimes I get a little lonesome but not often.
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 1, 2014 11:46:03 GMT -5
So am I the only one that HATED living alone? I didn't hate it, but I was lonely sometimes.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,692
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 1, 2014 11:49:00 GMT -5
I did live alone, from age 21 to age 34. Loved it. I enjoy marriage, but should it end and I am alone, I would remain that way. I really have no issues being my own best company.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 12:33:48 GMT -5
I lived alone for almost two years in NYC and I looooooooooved it. I loved it more than I can describe in words. Granted, I was coming out of a really awful and traumatic roommate situation (it was almost like a seriously f'd up divorce), after which I temporarily moved in with my then-boyfriend and his family, which was not good times. So having my own space went a long way toward restoring my sanity and happiness.
I still remember that apartment with much fondness... a modest little studio, 5th floor, with a fire escape. I just adored it. I loved having something that was all mine.
I love living with DH and BB too, but I'll never forget how great those years were and I'm so happy I had a chance to experience them.
And roommates? NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN. You can only take so many dish-hurling, heroin-shooting, multiple-DUI, pooping-in-the-bedroom, violent, crazy roommates before you start to give up on the idea.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,385
|
Post by movingforward on Oct 1, 2014 12:39:28 GMT -5
I lived alone for almost two years in NYC and I looooooooooved it. I loved it more than I can describe in words. Granted, I was coming out of a really awful and traumatic roommate situation (it was almost like a seriously f'd up divorce), after which I temporarily moved in with my then-boyfriend and his family, which was not good times. So having my own space went a long way toward restoring my sanity and happiness. I still remember that apartment with much fondness... a modest little studio, 5th floor, with a fire escape. I just adored it. I loved having something that was all mine. I love living with DH and BB too, but I'll never forget how great those years were and I'm so happy I had a chance to experience them. And roommates? NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN. You can only take so many dish-hurling, heroin-shooting, multiple-DUI, pooping-in-the-bedroom, violent, crazy roommates before you start to give up on the idea. You lived with Lindsey Lohan?
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 12:40:45 GMT -5
Oh, the flip side of living alone for an introvert like me is that your social life basically dies. Going out seems like so much work and stress compared to hanging out in your private and secluded sanctuary.
I was more or less okay with this at the time (as I said, I needed a ton of peace and quiet in a BAD way by then) but it did make for whole months where my major interaction with the world outside work was online. And I doubt that's healthy on a long-term basis. It was what I needed at the time, but in the long run it's probably better for me to have family/friends in immediate proximity to draw me out a little.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Oct 1, 2014 12:40:56 GMT -5
So am I the only one that HATED living alone? I'm about 50/50 on it. Some parts of it I love - some parts of it I dislike. I'm a clean freak so I like not having to clean up after someone else. I also love to cook and I miss cooking for someone other than me. Stuff like that.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 12:41:57 GMT -5
I did live alone, from age 21 to age 34. Loved it. I enjoy marriage, but should it end and I am alone, I would remain that way. I really have no issues being my own best company. I initially misread this as "I enjoy marriage but it should end."
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Oct 1, 2014 12:44:30 GMT -5
I've lived alone the last 4 years. It's been nice! Personally, it's the people that go from parents house to husbands that raise my eyebrow and makes me think they're . At least doing the dorm living or living with roommates gets you a pretty big degree of independence. It's not like I was beholden to my roommates on what I was doing and such while I lived with them.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 12:46:31 GMT -5
You lived with Lindsey Lohan?
I think living with her would have been preferable at times... at least she could have given me money to compensate for her craziness.
I've seriously lived with some doozies. I've told several of the stories here before... the roommate who locked me out in -10 degree weather, the roommate who tried to kill herself in the bathtub, the roommate who was on his 3rd DUI at 20 and nearly got us all evicted when I found heroin in his room, the roommate who tried to break into my room through the window to steal my prescription drugs, etc.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 12:51:35 GMT -5
It's not like I was beholden to my roommates on what I was doing and such while I lived with them.
True, but you do have to work around them to some extent.
Even when I had non-batshit insane roommates, I just didn't like it. I hated how the cleaning standards sunk to the lowest common denominator and if I didn't like it I could just clean it myself (particularly in college when I didn't even have my own room). I hated having to be quiet when it was early in the morning or late at night. I hated being dependent on other people to pay the rent.
Some of this is part and parcel to living with ANYONE but it's a little different when you're married to the person and (hopefully) on the same page about everything. Roommates are under no obligation to share your lifestyle.
I've had a few good roommate experiences but so many more bad ones that I'm determined to never deal with it again. The extra cost of living alone is well worth it to me (plus I live pretty cheap when it's just me, so it balances out).
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 12:55:47 GMT -5
I'm an introvert, but dorm life usually didn't bother me, at least not the social aspect of it.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Oct 1, 2014 12:56:00 GMT -5
I currently live alone except my 3 feline friends. At first I did not like it because it was the first time ever. I was nervous to go to bed in case someone broke in. Now I'm fine with it & even enjoy having the remote to myself. Sometimes I get a little lonesome but not often. I have totally forgotten what that is like. I don' even bother to watch tv when DD and DD are home.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 12:57:00 GMT -5
Graduated college (where I always had roommates) then got an apartment all to myself for about 1.5 years. Broke the lease early due to problems with the asshat upstairs and my sister and I shared first an apartment, then a townhome together until DH and I were married.
I treasure my quiet time and miss that. Good thing is DH and DD have their special hobby (that I'm not nuts about) they go to and leave me alone and I get some quite time every now and then. It works for all of us. What hobbies could your husband and daughter have that could possibly NOT interest a well traveled, cultured woman like yourself?
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Oct 1, 2014 12:58:59 GMT -5
It's not like I was beholden to my roommates on what I was doing and such while I lived with them.
True, but you do have to work around them to some extent. Even when I had non-batshit insane roommates, I just didn't like it. I hated how the cleaning standards sunk to the lowest common denominator and if I didn't like it I could just clean it myself (particularly in college when I didn't even have my own room). I hated having to be quiet when it was early in the morning or late at night. I hated being dependent on other people to pay the rent. Some of this is part and parcel to living with ANYONE but it's a little different when you're married to the person and (hopefully) on the same page about everything. Roommates are under no obligation to share your lifestyle. I've had a few good roommate experiences but so many more bad ones that I'm determined to never deal with it again. The extra cost of living alone is well worth it to me (plus I live pretty cheap when it's just me, so it balances out). Oh, I'm not saying I want to do it again. Just that I was mostly independent living with roommates vs living with parents (and what I imagine living with an SO would be). We had the usual common area issues and some scheduling like if someone wanted to have a party or if we had to play tetras with parked cars, but otherwise we hardly knew when the other was coming or going. A whiteboard on the fridge is where we'd post what each person owed the other for bills. The only big war we had was over the A/C because I was living with two guys so they were always warmer than me. I told them that if they insisted on freezing me out where I had to wear multiple layers any time I'm in the house I'm paying less than 1/3 of electric. I won. Ok, I also had some dorm room fights, but I chalk that up to bitches be crazy hence me living with guys once I got out of dorms. I also have no desire to have a roommate again that's not an SO. I'm really bummed that my best friend in town is most likely moving into the same complex I am in 2 months after I leave. It would be so nice to just walk down the hall vs 15 minutes. All the perks but still keep my own place to walk around naked!
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,692
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 1, 2014 13:02:05 GMT -5
I did live alone, from age 21 to age 34. Loved it. I enjoy marriage, but should it end and I am alone, I would remain that way. I really have no issues being my own best company. I initially misread this as "I enjoy marriage but it should end." Hey, it could happen next week, if I come home from a road trip and find dishes in the sink!
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 13:02:28 GMT -5
I lived alone for 3 months. I went from home, to an apartment with my sister, bought a place with my ex, stayed with a friend when we separated, then rented my own place when we divorced, lived there three months by myself before my sister moved in, now I live with my with current SO. The cost of living alone has been the biggest deterrent for me. When I was apartment shopping after the divorce, I could easily afford a tiny place in a sketchy area ($550), or I could stretch my budget and get a 1 bedroom ($750) or 2 bedroom($850) in a nice neighborhood. Two bedroom in the nice neighborhood made the most sense since I could easily add a roommate and save even more, which I did. Sometimes I do fantasize about buying my own place, decorating, then letting my SO move in. Trying to decorate with him sometimes is just I will freely admit I have no sense of style of decoration.
If I ever find a SO, I will be perfectly happy to let them do all the home decorating.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Oct 1, 2014 13:04:26 GMT -5
Graduated college (where I always had roommates) then got an apartment all to myself for about 1.5 years. Broke the lease early due to problems with the asshat upstairs and my sister and I shared first an apartment, then a townhome together until DH and I were married.
I treasure my quiet time and miss that. Good thing is DH and DD have their special hobby (that I'm not nuts about) they go to and leave me alone and I get some quite time every now and then. It works for all of us. What hobbies could your husband and daughter have that could possibly NOT interest a well traveled, cultured woman like yourself? *SNORT* heh, I've got you fooled, eh? Roller coasters. The faster, higher, steeper - the better for them. Me - I'm the one you see sitting on a bench waiting and holding everyone else's stuff. I can do that, maybe oh two or three times a year. They get season passes to a few chains, take a few weekend road trips (I go on one or two) hit different parks within driving distance. I'm glad they have something special that they can bond and spend time on together. Personally, I can only take so much but won't say not to them leaving me home - it's a win win.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 13:06:22 GMT -5
Well, I'm a dude, so I'm sure that plays into it a lot, but I've never been worried about my personal safety when I live alone.
If someone attacks me, they better have a gun, be a martial arts expert, or be absolutely huge (and I'm 6'2" and 230 lbs.)
|
|
jeep108
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 20:20:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,056
|
Post by jeep108 on Oct 1, 2014 13:11:37 GMT -5
You grew up with 7 siblings, right? I have a friend who doesn't like living alone and grew up in a very large family. I think she became accustomed to always having another person around. This is only a guess, of course. She has 3 ex-husbands and is on the search for #4. She truly is unable to be alone. Sorry, I got off track. I don't want you to, in any way, think I am comparing the two of you because I am not. The large family is the only correlation. Actually, I grew up/am an only child. DH has 7 siblings. ETA: he has more if we're counting the dad's side of things, but he only grew up with 7 of them I'm an only child, I really don't like being alone. I do like that I get one day off a week that my husband works so I get the house to myself for the day. More than a day or two I get real restless.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 13:12:20 GMT -5
Well, I'm a dude, so I'm sure that plays into it a lot, but I've never been worried about my personal safety when I live alone.I'm definitely a chicken about this. I watch too much L&O SVU. Sometimes I can't sleep even when DH is right next to me, I'm so worried about someone breaking in and killing us all. Ever since reading THIS lovely article, I'm also freaked out that my kid has ghosts hanging out in her bedroom. www.daytripfinder.co.uk/blog/the-creepy-things-children-say-these-25-are-downright-terrifying 9. The monster behind you
“Go back to sleep, there isn’t anything under your bed”. “He’s behind you now.” So maybe I couldn't live alone again after all
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 13:13:58 GMT -5
I'm an only child, I really don't like being alone. I do like that I get one day off a week that my husband works so I get the house to myself for the day. More than a day or two I get real restless.
It's funny that my fellow onlies don't enjoy living alone. I always thought that was one of the weird side effects of not having siblings - being more comfortable with solidarity and more protective of alone time / personal space than the average bear.
I guess that's just me though.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 13:22:04 GMT -5
It's hard to say if I "like" or "prefer" to live alone, since as I said, I really have little basis for the alternative.
But I will say I see the advantages of it sometimes as well as some of the disadvantages.
Even simple things like what to do when my car needs to go into the shop can be major logistical problems. And I've been lucky that I'm healthy. I have no idea what I would do if I had some sort of short term disability and couldn't drive myself to a medical appointment or run errands.
|
|
alabamagal
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:30:29 GMT -5
Posts: 8,148
|
Post by alabamagal on Oct 1, 2014 13:24:03 GMT -5
Nope. Went from parents, to college dorms, to live-in boyfriend to marriage.
I think I would enjoy it, but maybe it is one of those "grass in greener" things.
But now we are down to DH and I and 2 dogs in a big 4 beadroom house. A lot of nights I will go to the bedroom and watch my TV and DH will go to the living room for his. We have totally different schedules. So I can be "alone" in the house if I want to be.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Oct 1, 2014 13:24:46 GMT -5
And I've been lucky that I'm healthy. I have no idea what I would do if I had some sort of short term disability and couldn't drive myself to a medical appointment or run errands.I worried about that too, when I lived on my own 3,000 miles from home and was between relationships so I can relate I guess I would have moved home for awhile. Or relied on friends helping me, but I had very few of those at the time.
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Oct 1, 2014 13:26:42 GMT -5
No, I haven't. I left home to be married and had children. After my divorce, the kids and I were alone for about 5 years before I remarried. Since my DH passed away 6 years ago, it's just been mother and I - and the cats, of course.
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Oct 1, 2014 13:31:23 GMT -5
Me neither. I followed what (at least here) seems to be a typical trajectory of
family home ---> college dorm/sorority --> (female) roommate(s) --> fiancé/husband. He's the only man/romantic partner I've ever lived with (we bought our first house together three months before our wedding, and like *heck* I was gonna pay rent/mortgage in two places just to satisfy my mother's sense of propriety). We just celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary.
I don't think I'd like living alone. When DH is occasionally gone on business I miss him terribly I like sharing a home with DH and our fur babies.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 1, 2014 13:33:26 GMT -5
I moved out when I turned 18 and had one girl roommate for about 3 months a year later. It felt like 3 years! Then when I was 21 I had a guy roommate for about 6 months before I married the month I turned 22. The rest of the time I lived alone and loved it. The guy roommate and I also worked together and we got along great. He was in our wedding we were so close. The chick wasn't as bad as FB's situations but I can see why she didn't have many options when her husband threw her out and got full custody of their kid. I had people stay with me after a divorce for a couple of weeks now and then or that were in transition from moving out of their parent's house until they found their own place but mostly I was living alone. DH worked in South Florida for a year and was only home most weekends and recently he was working on a project in a similar area for about 5 months only home on weekends. I call those times vacation. He's neat and clean for the most part but I do enjoy my alone time. I've come to the conclusion that I could easily become a hermit as long as I have easy access to stores and restaurants. And a good working taser for just in case. I used to be such a social butterfly but now I'm so introverted and really enjoy just DH and I and a couple of good friends now and then to do stuff with. And, of course, you all.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Oct 1, 2014 13:34:10 GMT -5
And I've been lucky that I'm healthy. I have no idea what I would do if I had some sort of short term disability and couldn't drive myself to a medical appointment or run errands.I worried about that too, when I lived on my own 3,000 miles from home and was between relationships so I can relate I guess I would have moved home for awhile. Or relied on friends helping me, but I had very few of those at the time. Yeah, I guess that's what I'd have to do.
Either have one of my parents come stay with me for the duration or go live with them temporarily. I don't have any friends locally, but that will change where I'm moving to, as I still have friends from the Navy there.
|
|