MOLLY'S RANTS

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Exactly four months into my healthy eating quest, I can say that I've noticed two changes in my life. (OK, there have been a lot more than just two changes, obviously, but these are two changes that were somewhat unanticipated by yours truly.) Change #1 ... I spend a lot more time going to a lot more grocery stores. Change #2 ... I spend a lot more time doing a lot more laundry, because I'm wearing a lot more clothes.

Seriously, I think we now go to the grocery store 3-4 times a week.... largely because a huge amount of my daily food intake is fresh veggies, and there's only so much romaine and Southern Greens (spinach, mustard greens, collard greens and turnip greens) one can possibly fit in one's refrigerator! Part of the problem is that I haven't found ONE grocery store that has everything that I like to buy, so I've just given in to the reality that I need to shop for groceries at three different stores ... and sometimes, more than once in a week, LOL. Fortunately, I live fairly close to all three, and one of the stores is actually within biking range (and I have a basket on my bike!) Contributing to this lifestyle change is my "insistence on eating weird food" (according to my wonderful DH ~ who is actually a good sport and always willing to make grocery store runs for me. Especially since he tends to eat some of my foraged produce!)

Today, I visited Trader Joe's ... a store that I seriously love love love. I don't think I'm willing to relocate to a part of the country that doesn't have a Trader Joe's ~ it would feel too much like a bad breakup or moving away from my best friend. I am really happy with the veggies that I buy there: romaine, carrots, tomatoes, red/yellow/orange peppers, spinach, mustard greens, collard greens, turnip greens, asparagus, corn, hearts of palm, beets, pea pods, mushrooms, broccoli, baby bok choy, etc. I also love their eggplaint hummus, their lean sirloin, their chicken, and their chicken sausages! YUM! And their baked lentil chips are nice, too! (And for those of you NOT dieting or diabetic, can I heartily recommend their dark chocolate covered pumpkin spice salted caramels? DROOOOL. I also noticed pumpkin flavored cream cheese that I was tempted to open right there in the store and eat with my fingers. But I resisted.)

But we also need to visit our local independent grocery store for unsweetened Almond Breeze (in refrigerated cartons), radishes, cucumbers, apples (my wonderful DH hasn't been happy with TJ's apples), ham and turkey for sandwiches (we prefer a few brands TJs doesn't carry), Sarah Lee light multigrain bread, original Fiber One, Amy's organic vegetarian Shepherds Pie, Lactaid or Fiber One lowfat cottage cheese, Eggland's best eggs, and the Ponzu sauce and Salad Vinegar I like to use for my salads.  And then we have to visit a third grocery store for the tilapia and smoked salmon that I like, and because they have a much better price on Dannon Light n' Fit Greek Yogurts. Their veggies are just fine, so we tend to pick up other items when we're there ... they also carry the bread I like. THEN I have to go online to Amazon.com to order the protein shake mix I use in the mornings, and also for my beloved Tomato Wraps and Suzie's Thin Corn Cakes, and for the bulk ground sundried tomato that I sprinkle on my salads, LOL.  Oh, and the hard-to-find brand of canned green beans I'm in love with (Glory) ... I like them so much I'm willing to eat them out of the can. Yes, there's sodium in canned veggies ... I sweat like a pig in sauna some days, a little sodium with my green beans every 3 weeks won't kill me. (At least not right away)

But, it's working. It's complicated and just slightly obsessive on my part, but it's working ~ and I'm not messing with success. What can I say? I like a large variety with my veggies.

In my pre-healthy eating stage, I'd get up in the morning, jump in the shower, throw on underwear, shorts and tank top and I'd be good for the day. Now, I get up, and change into biking clothes. I ride my bike. I come home, take it off, and take a shower. THEN I get dressed. Then, if we decide to go biking again (after dinner), I need to get dressed again in biking clothes. Maybe in the middle of winter I can get away with wearing things twice ~ but that sort of grosses me out in the summer, so I put on new biking clothes. By the end of the day, I've worn 2-3 outfits and seem to be generating significantly more laundry than I used to, LOL! My wonderful DH, of course, doesn't have ANY qualms about rewearing his biking clothes over and over and over ... and since he tends to bike downwind and behind me, who am I to complain? He's convinced that any smell keeps the mosquitoes away from him ... and least that's his official story. LOL. (Me? I use insect repellent and I just do a LOT of laundry!)

A good friend of mine is a competitive cyclist. You know, with a $2,000 bike that weighs slightly more than my bike basket? We started talking about bike apparel and sweating and chafing ... and she recommend an emollient cream she found on Amazon. I couldn't remember the name of the product she recommended, and was MIGHTILY ENTERTAINED by the names of some of the products sold on Amazon for that purpose. I ended up ordering Chamois BUTT'r which had a slightly less lurid name than "Gooch Guard" and "Hoo Ha Ride Glide." I am not making these names up. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm looking forward to smoother shopping, laundry and biking.

[Jaguar]

❤ mollymouser ❤, your doing fantastic and that's all that matters.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I wasn't going to ride my bike this morning due to my sore right knee, but decided to go out for a spin after breakfast, despite the fact that it's hot and humid out there. (Why oh why are we in the mid-to-upper 90s in October?) Anyway, I biked 4.5 miles this morning, yay me! And can I just say that I matched beautifully? Lime green bike shorts, aqua tank top, (aqua undies, if anyone cares), and my lime green and aqua sneakers. And I wore a lime green sun visor, AND my white and aqua biking gloves. After all, what separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize! (grin)

I ordered a big, fluffy, warm hoodie sweatshirt that arrived in the mail yesterday. It's lime green. My wonderful DH just smiled, and asked where I planned to wear it since I get hot in stores, in buildings, oh, EVERYWHERE, actually. "At home, of course" I replied ... reminding him that I love a cold house. Seriously, we haven't turned on the heat since we moved here in 2003 ~ and we get some might chilly winters here in central California: lows in the 20s and 30s, though low 40s is more typical.  (I would roast like a turkey trying to bike in it, lol!) Anyway, I love it and wore it for about 30 seconds before whipping it off and stashing it in the closet until probably December. I'd also ordered a long sleeve hot pink t-shirt ... THAT's what I'll wear biking in the winter, lol. (I'm currently still happily wearing a tank top pretty much everywhere (and definitely while biking ... then I'll move to t-shirts ... and then to long-sleeve t-shirts. Between being fat and menopausal, I'm well past "hot blooded" and I've moved on to volcanic. An added bonus to this is that I'm freakishly popular with my heat-seaking cats (and wonderful DH) every winter ... if I sit down or lay down, I'm quickly swarmed and covered with cats. Who needs to turn on their central heat, anyway?

You may have noticed that I seem particularly fond of lime green. Indeed I am. In fact, when we enclosed our patio and turned it into a Catio for our kitty crew, I decided that all of that grey stucco just HAD to go ~ it's my view from my family room where I work at the computer and look out the front door and pretty much where I spend most of my days. It's also very visible from our kitchen, too. Anyway, I spent a lot of time looking at paint chips and samples and finally decided on what's euphemistically called "tree frog green" out there. Walls and stucco ceiling, thank you very much. Yep, it's a bright lime green. We have a light green indoor/outdoor rug out there covering the grey concrete floor, a light green sofa with lime and turquoise pillows, a hand-crafted turquoise bench that's been made from a bed (complete with a lime green pillow), a lime green lamp, three cat trees, and a large litterbox out there.  What can I say? I like green. And turquoise. Our smaller Catio (located outside our bedroom sliding glass door is a much more subdued ... bright turquoise. Anyway, if I like a color combination, well ... I like a color combination! (grin)

One advantage of having a vividly bright lime green Catio visible as soon as people walk into our family room or kitchen is that no one ever notices that we've got popcorn ceilings. Seriously. They just sort of stand there, transfixed, by all of that lime green. And ~ I must say ~ in the winter when it's been grey and foggy for days and we haven't seen the sun, it's simply delightful to head out there with a good book and a blanket (or a lime green hoodie), a hot cup of tea, and snuggle down with the cats and enjoy all of that happy color (and to watch the ducks who I have to shoo out of our swimming pool every winter.) What is it with me and ducks, anyway?

I tried several new vegetables this week and here's my report.

1. Radicchio: it's a fun word to say. It seems overpriced for being as disgusting and bitter as it is. Yuck. I tried it raw, and hated it. I tried it cooked ~ twice ~ and hated it. I suppose if you hide it in some other dish, or slather it with balsamic it might be OK, but what's the point. If you want color in your salads, add some purple cabbage or something. If you want a bit of spice, eat some radishes. Did I say yuck? Thankfully, my wonderful DH agreed to eat the last of it so it wouldn't go to waste. I didn't actually SEE him eat it, mind you, but I can report that it's gone.

2. Kale:  The store was out of my Southern Greens Mix (spinach, mustard greens, collard greens, turnip greens), so I bought a "Super Food Mix" that contained spinach, kale, red chard and green chard. I thought it was sort of bitter and weird ~ but in comparison to radicchio, it's practically ambrosia. I know it's good for me, but I'm just not going to buy it and try to eat it. I don't want blendered veggies in my protein shake, and I have absolutely no urge to start baking kale chips. Frankly, I'll just stick with my collard greens, mustard greens and turnip greens and will eschew the kale fad.

3 and 4. Red and green chard: I thought these were pretty good, cooked. I still prefer spinach (usually a better price), but these were definitely worth re-eating, and they're loaded with nutrients. I like my greens (including spinach) cooked, so I didn't try them more than a nibble while raw, and can say that the slight bitterness fades when cooked. I'm sure they'd be awesome slathered with butter and bacon, by the way (which is not how I am eating them.) Then again, I'm pretty sure everything (except radicchio) would be good slathered with butter and bacon.

5. Baby bok choy: Two thumbs up. Yum yum yum! I sliced them up, steamed them lightly, seasoned them lightly, and thought they were delightful. I actually went back to the store to buy some more. These are one of those veggies that are a great base for things .... I had them one night with some grilled lemon pepper tilapia, and then again last night with some chicken sausages ~ the baby bok choy paired well with both of them without overpowering them. And they are NOT bitter.

Advice for the day: eat your veggies, and make sure you match.

[NancysSummerSip]

A good friend of mine is a competitive cyclist. You know, with a $2,000 bike that weighs slightly more than my bike basket? We started talking about bike apparel and sweating and chafing ... and she recommend an emollient cream she found on Amazon. I couldn't remember the name of the product she recommended, and was MIGHTILY ENTERTAINED by the names of some of the products sold on Amazon for that purpose. I ended up ordering Chamois BUTT'r which had a slightly less lurid name than "Gooch Guard" and "Hoo Ha Ride Glide." I am not making these names up. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I have a competitive cyclist friend with a $7,000 bike. Really. A month after she got it, she fell off it and broke her collarbone. Just goes to show, expensive doesn't make you more graceful.

And I love those emollient names. You only hope that when you order them, they arrive in plain brown wrappers.

[steph08]

Milky - what seasoning did you put on the bok choy?

Also I loveeee kale chips - olive oil and garlic salt. Yummy

[mmhmm]

Sept 29, 2014 12:07:55 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

Sept 28, 2014 20:07:27 GMT -5 @patstab said:

..... at least I have kept from being obese and never want to be. 

It's a good thing I have a snarky sense of humor or I'd be a teeny bit tempted to post a rant about a skinny person who shows up in a fat person's dieting thread to boast about ... not being fat.

I'll own that! I can only beg you understand - I NEEEEED all that weight you're losin'!

Congrats, girl. In all seriousness, you're doing great and I know it isn't easy. 

[mmhmm]

Darn, ❤ mollymouser ❤! I just read your post about the kale. My late DH was German and made kale with a particular sausage. I'm not fond of greens, in general, but that was absolutely wonderful. I'm going to try to remember what the name of that sausage was. I think it started with a "P". It'll come to me when I least expect it. When it does, I'll post it. I think you'd like it and it would give you a go-to when you can't find the collards, or the turnip greens (yuck!).

ETA:  Pinkelwurst! That's it! Pinkelwurst!

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

. . o O (Pinkelwurst?)

[mmhmm]

Oct 4, 2014 12:05:52 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

. . o O (Pinkelwurst?)

I laughed pretty heartily the first time DH told me what it was.

[marvholly]

mmhmm
I have NEVER heard of that type of sausage & I live & shop in an area w/a significant German & Eastern EU population. Many of our local independent grocers & deli's carry many different types/blernds of sausage.

[mmhmm]

Oct 5, 2014 4:40:17 GMT -5 marvholly said:

mmhmm
I have NEVER heard of that type of sausage & I live & shop in an area w/a significant German & Eastern EU population. Many of our local independent grocers & deli's carry many different types/blernds of sausage.

It's not real common, apparently. It's from northern Germany. My late husband got some in New York when we visited some of his family. You can, however, buy it online.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I have spent the morning Googling "weight loss plateau" and being semi-entertained by the fact that there is absolutely no concise definitition of what this is, nor is there any sort of concensus out there about how best to deal with one. Why am I Googling this? Because the scale hasn't shown any weight loss for me for (gasp) five days. Yep, five WHOLE days. And, no, I'm not seeking any advice from anyone reading this about WHY this might be happening ~ I've just read online advice from 2 dozen people (many with impressive initials following their names and degrees from pricey grad schools) and its become painstakingly clear that no two "experts" agree on anything other than "wait it out, keep eating right and exercising, and it shall pass .... eventually. And, if it doesn't .... eat less and exercise even more." LOL 

Well, after 4 solid months of healthy eating (October 1 was the official 4-month mark), a plateau of some sort was bound to happen, right? After all, I've pretty much freaked out my metabolism into thinking this was the Great Potato Famine of 1775 and no wonder it's deciding to just lay low and reassess the food situation for a little bit. I am sure the fact that I'm pre-menopausal and hormonal may be playing into the equation a bit ~ after all, how many women get to have hot flashes AND their periods at the SAME time? And now I've got a zit on my chin. Seriously, maybe my body thinks I'm going through puberty all over again?  And, of course, I do have a known thyroid issue (I take meds for it) and I do have diabetes and insulin resistance (and I take meds for it) ~ so it's clear that my metabolism has what I like to euphemistically refer to as "issues." And now, it's got even more issues ~ we're laden with issues here in Mollywood.

So ... I've decided that I cannot call this "temporary weight loss slowdown"  a "plateau" until it's lasted 2 weeks. That should help me keep things in better perspective, and to endeavor to take a bigger picture and long-term view of this whole healthy eating / weight loss journey that I'm on. Still, I can't help but admit that my rather overactive imagination has come up with some rather silly reasons why I haven't lost any weight in the last 5 days:

1. My body is teaching me a lesson for making it deal with things like radicchio and kale and 2 kinds of chard ~ all in the same period of time. (Uh oh, wait until my body finds out I just bought a 3rd kind of chard to try!)

2. Revenge of the scale.  Seriously, I've been stepping repeatedly on her and squooshing her and smack-talking about her for more than four months and maybe she's just pissed off at me? (Let's hope that she's not reading this, shall we?)

3. Hormones. Yep, somehow, hormones are screwing things up. I'm not sure how, but they are. (I've decided that the vast majority of things that go wrong in life can be attributed to (a) hormones; (b) humidity; (c) governmental/political stupidity; and (d) mosquitoes. Of these choices, hormones seem the most likely culprit.)

4. The planets are out of alignment and Pluto is still sulking over losing its former planetary status. It's classic "short planet" syndrome. (Don't mess with my pet theories by bringing science or facts into it. Pluto is now just a "dwarf planet" and I think Pluto is mad about this revelation.)

5. It's one of the "great mysteries of life."  (Growing up, I attended Catholic school. When I'd ask the nuns a question they didn't want to (or couldn't) answer, they'd just smile knowingly and respond "That's one of the great mysteries of life." )


Despite the whole scale issue, I do have some positive happy news to report. I have been able to further reduce my insulin dosage from 80 units a day down to 50 units a day .... thanks to my reduced weight, my low glycemic veggie-centric eating, and biking my butt off on a semi-regular basis. (Just as a reminder, when I started this journey on June 1, I was taking 240 units a day!) Wooo hoooo! I'm pretty jazzed about this, as it's a clear sign that my body is responding to ~ and appreciating ~ my new efforts to take much better care of it!

Sometimes, success in weight loss and in healthy eating isn't measured on a scale.

[Jaguar]

Impressive list.

[Frappuccino]

Hi Molly, I suggest waiting 5 days until your period is over to weigh yourself again. I'm always heaviest the week before I start. I enjoy reading this thread! Keep up the good work!

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Lately, my periods have been so sporadic and unpredictable that I don't know if this is PMS ~ or not. But my period isn't currently here. It tends to wait for unsuspecting moments to arrive, like nature's own little SWAT Team.

[swamp]

Weight plateau:  eat a little more. Lift some weights. 

Avenim im with your DH in the re wearing of the workout gear. However, no more than two wearings for group,workouts. Imdont want to offend my Zumba classmates. 

ETA: Even if you don't want to do weights, do some weight bearing exercises like pushups and squats.

[marvholly]

Molly
For me the 2 ways I can break a plateau are:
WAAAY overindulge: pasta + garlic bread + meat + chocolate + ?
Go all liquids for a day: bullion, diet soda, coffee/tea, crystal light….
NEITHER are good for an insulin dependent diabetic.

Hot flashes & menstruation can easily go hand in hand. My late Mom swore she would be buying her last box of kotex w/her first soc check. For me it was MUCH easier. Pretty much here today and gone tomorrow at around 55-57.

[NancysSummerSip]

I like to blame hormones for everything that goes wrong. Never mind that I've been on a replacement for ages, as my body does not make any of its own. Don't flame me for taking them, please. It was either hormone replacement or homicide.

And I'm with Molly on the kale thing. I don't care how good for me it is. The bitterness of it just invades everything else. I will juice it and use it in a shake. But I won't like it.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Day #6 .... and the scale finally moved. I have ended up with a 1.6 pound loss for the week. At this point in my weight loss adventure, I'll take! That puts me at 92.4 pounds lost.

What, if anything, did I do different yesterday?

~ No biking (I needed a recovery day)
~ EXTRA greens (yep, a second serving of spinach, mustard greens, collard greens and turnip greens)
~ EXTRA eggplant hummus (because it was near the end of the container and scooping the remainder out with my finger was just waaaay too tempting to pass up, LOL!)

Oh, and I ranted, of course. Maybe THAT'S the solution?

[Jaguar]

Awesome work there ❤ mollymouser ❤,

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

"You're starting to eat like a hippie. It's sooooo obvious you're from California."

That's what an online friend remarked at me today as we were chatting back and forth about my healthy eating plan. I must admit that I was a bit befuddled and bemused by this, and responded with "What does a hippie eat?" She replied with a rather snarky "nuts and berries and veggies and crap." Hmmmm. Veggies and crap?  I thought back to the lifestyle changes I've made over the past 4 months, and the foods that have become my new staples. The funny part? I'm not really eating nuts OR berries, LOL. Don't get me wrong ~ there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating nuts and berries as part of a healthy eating plan, I just am not a big nut fan (except for pistachios, which I HAVE eaten on occasion ... I've got some yummilicious salt-and-pepper ones that are just 4 calories each  ... so I can have 25 for a 100-calorie snack!) As for berries, they have a fair amount of sugar, so I tend to limit my intake. Since my wonderful DH was gone all summer and didn't buy any (letting me grab a few here and there), I really haven't been eating a lot of berries lately. I do, however, eat a lot of bananas and apples as my fruits of choice, and a gazillion different veggies. And I STOPPED eating crap ~ that was the whole POINT of my healthy eating plan! <snort>  Clearly, she's just an ... idiot. (grin)

Speaking of eating like a hippie, I bought some amazing lemon-herb tofu today from Lassen's Natural Market (it's sort of like Whole Foods, but smaller. And ~ if you can believe this ~ I suspect it's more expensive. At least the cucumbers were. But they WERE humongous ... so large that I plan to just eat HALF a cucumber at a time. Seriously, we're talking little chubby green submarines here!) Anyway, dinner tonight was Lemon Herb Tofu served on top of a bed of steamed rainbow chard. I bought the chard at Trader Joes ... and it's delightful. Unlike my normal greens (mustard, collard and turnip greens), chard is pleasantly mild and less bitter. And (in this case) quite colorful. I also had some fresh beets, asparagus, corn cakes (they're like rice cakes, only ~ you guessed it ~ made from corn) and a salad: romaine, mushrooms, orange pepper, and hearts of palm. Frankly, I'm just not thinking that your average hippie was running around steaming chard and sprinkling lemon juice and fresh cracked pepper on asparagus while nibbling on hearts of palm. But I could be wrong.

We biked 7.3 miles this morning. I've been keeping track (after the fact) of my bike rides with a great website called www.geodistance.com. (Don't bother telling me that I could download an app for this ~ I don't have a smart phone and I don't do apps. I'm about as technologically challenged as they come!) I used to have an odometer on my bicycle (two of them, in fact) but they BOTH got stolen when I foolishly decided to park and lock my bike and purchase hippie food from my local grocery store. I've also had my sweaty biking gloves stolen (ick) a bottle of water, and a package of Kleenex. So .... now I take everything inside the store with me when I stop or ~ better yet ~ I just bike with my wonderful DH and send HIM inside the store. That's what we did today while biking since we stopped at the store for more hippie food (mushrooms!) I resisted the urge to steal anything off his bike. And I further resisted the urge to make a smartass comment to the people who saw me sitting on my bike, waiting next to his bike, who kept asking "Biking today?" (Is that some sort of rhetorical question? Why else would someone be covered with sweat, sitting on a bike, wearing biking apparel?)

Be a hippie ~ eat your veggies!

[Jaguar]

I love reading this thread, it's damn funny and inspirational. Namaste.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

. And I further resisted the urge to make a smartass comment to the people who saw me sitting on my bike, waiting next to his bike, who kept asking "Biking today?" (Is that some sort of rhetorical question? Why else would someone be covered with sweat, sitting on a bike, wearing biking apparel?)

Be a hippie ~ eat your veggies!

You should have replied, "No I'm a psychedelic biker - protecting all bikes (including my own freakishly colored one) from theft while my biker partner is inside buying hippie food and special brownies."

[marvholly]

A caramel apple w/nuts is a fruit + protein. Right?

Molly
I don’t have a smart phone either. My phone is JUST that – a phone to be used mostly in emergencies like a car break down or if my Dad got sick (prior to his passing) or a kid or grand is sick/has some other MAJOR problem. I think only 4-5 people have my cell number: both DDs, brother and 1-2 friends.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

A friend of mine snarked recently about my "dumb" phone. I just smiled and asked her "Have YOU memorized 65 phone numbers? No? Hmmm... my phone seems smarter than YOU are."

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I have tried the barbecue ... they are flavored much like BBQ chips. I am a purist and like the plain tomato ones best, but the barbecue ones were pleasant and tangy and tasty.   They sent me some Mango Chipotle ones (for free) to try .... and I haven't tried them yet. The carrot ones are fine ... but I prefer ones with more flavor. But the carrot ones were fine!

Can you have chard or baby bok choy? Both can be a nice substitute for spinach, mustard greens, collard greens and turnip greens. (Not sure how they would do re: kidney stones)

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I admit it. Sometimes, I buy what's euphemistically called "diet food" (but which often could be more properly called "mysterious chemical-laden allegedly low calorie foodlike substance.") Let me just say that I've been a diabetic for 20+ years, so I am not freaked out about artificial sweeteners and I don't avoid them like many non-diabetics do. That being said, I do monitor how much artificial sweetener I eat and at least try to switch them up so that I'm not overindulging in just one. Heh heh .... "overindulging" ~ does sprinkling some fake sugar on my bowl of cardboard hamster food (that would be original Fiber One) every morning COUNT as "overindulging?" After all, that's pretty much the only artificial sweetener I intentionally add to my food. Anyway, before anyone feels the overwhelming compulsion to lecture me on the alleged dangers of artificial sweeteners, let me just say: DON'T. I've heard it, and I'm eating some anyway. And for those who want to urge me to use agave or Stevia, then me just point out that both of those give me hives. Big red welts. So, onward to my rant about "diet food!"

Not long ago, I was in the grocery store staring wistfully at the cheese. I love cheese. In fact, I am more than capable of ingesting an entire 1,000+ calorie wedge of brie in one sitting. By itself, though I understand the conventional wisdom is to actually eat it with crackers. I love cheese so much that I once named an entire litter of foster kittens after cheese! (Cheddar, Brie, Colby and Jack!) Right now, between my desire to keep my fats to 15 percent of my daily calories (for medical reasons) and my desire to avoid pesky lactose intolerance symptoms, my cheese intake has been largely limited to lowfat Lactaid cottage cheese of which I eat two one-half cup servings per week, along with smoked salmon, as part of my yummy dinners. So ... I spotted the plastic wrapped rubbery Kraft fat free singles in the "sharp cheddar" flavor (just 25 calories each) and thought, "HEY! I can fit that into my daily calorie budget!"  So I bought the package, noting that the fat free version was fully TWICE the price of the regular version. (I've never tried the regular version ... why would anyone not counting fats and calories want to buy weirdly rubbery plastic wrapped fake cheese slices?) Anyway, I assume that the price is the store's way to try to protect unsuspecting consumers from making unwise culinary choices. Or they're trying to profit from cheese-deprived desperate fat chicks ~ I am not sure.

Normal cheese doesn't stick to its plastic wrapper (if it even HAS a plastic wrapper.) This cheese does. It can also stick to your teeth ... something I usually only encounter when eating something wonderful and caramel.  Normal cheese actually melts when you expose it to a heat source. This cheese either remains unmelted, or it starts bubbling and bursting into flame in the microwave or toaster oven. Seriously, I haven't figured out yet how to properly melt it.... it's either hot/rubbery and unmelted, or inferno. When I mentioned this quandary to my wonderful DH, he just grinned and said "You're trying to figure out how to properly melt the equivalent of a beach ball in the microwave?" <snort>  OK, that was a semi-helpful perspective.

I haven't decided why I keep trying to figure out how best to eat my plastic-y fake 25-calorie cheeselike slices. Mainly, I suppose, because they're paid for (and I can be thrifty up to a point ~ you'll recall that I finally admitted defeat and refused to finish my radicchio) and because I'm stubborn. What can I say? If I can't have the REALITY of cheese, I am at least attempting to joyfully embrace the CONCEPT of cheese. Anyway, I finally finished the last two slices today (quartered, and added with some turkey atop some organic non-GMO corn thin cakes.) Disclaimer: I don't know why I felt compelled to tell you that they were organic and non-GMO ... probably because when I recently mentioned to some Paleo people that I was eating something that contained corn, they started shrieking about the evils of corn! My goal in life is to have fewer people start randomly shrieking at me.  YES, I eat corn. I eat my organic, non-GMO imported-from-Belgium thin corn cakes AND I eat organic corn on the cob purchased from either Whole Foods or Trader Joes or my local independent grocer. I like corn. I do well with corn (blood sugar wise). I'm not giving up my corn.

For the record, I promise to NEVER put fake cheese on my corn ~ that should make you all feel better.

[Jaguar]

That's awesome, in that you found something for YOU.

[kjto1]

Wow.  I finally caught up with this thread.  AMAZING! 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Fake cheese on corn sounds like something the dog wouldl throw-up - fake cheese on anything is disgusting! Any cheese wrapped in plastic, is just "plastic cheese". Blech!

Except possibly in a grilled cheese sandwich -- but even then I use *REAL* grated cheddar. None of that plastic fake food for me.

You're doing great on your quest - keep up the good fight!!!!!