justme
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Post by justme on Sept 12, 2014 11:53:02 GMT -5
so in Florida if it's the women having/had the affair, are they 'punished' in the same manner as men who have affairs? Well, my ex-SIL got 'punished' but they never made it to court. There were very few things beyond what she brought into the marriage that she took away - the older TV, the older bed, one of the DVD players - basically what they had upgraded she got the older one of. She didn't even get to keep the rings (though she was the one that stupidly left them when she walked out the second time).
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 12, 2014 11:58:56 GMT -5
I was responding to questions Shaun.
a few post down
It doesn't give me a happy face to think of getting back together and that is probably all my heart needs. I am having a good time, I eat when I want etc, it is the freedom to know that no one is expecting anything from you.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 12, 2014 12:00:42 GMT -5
The summons has been issued, kind of nervous.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Sept 12, 2014 12:24:06 GMT -5
The polite "irreconcilable differences" stops the mud slinging and gets the job done. My xH decided to use the same attorney as mine. XH basically walked out the door on me. Leaving with the choice pieces of furniture and me with a house mortgage and two kids. He'd see me down and out were his last remarks. Then, 3 months later, he wants to talk about property settlements. Too late pal. (I did get an apology regarding the marriage through my DD 36 years later.) I did get a job that paid decently. The emotional ramifications were significant and long for both me and my children. Their acting out which lead me into a 2nd marriage to a man they respected and would listen to.
The 2nd marriage has not been easy. Strangely comforting to know I'm not the only one who did this. I rushed into my 2nd marriage thinking I needed to provide a good father for the kids. He was better than the first, but we struggle. Particularly now that the kids are gone. Hope you're not too terribly unhappy. Second marriage for me, too, is a lot tougher than I anticipated.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Sept 12, 2014 20:19:35 GMT -5
I was single for 5 years and thought I knew what I was doing. I won't go into the details. I did that on this board many years ago and the comments turned painful for me.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 20:22:23 GMT -5
The polite "irreconcilable differences" stops the mud slinging and gets the job done. My xH decided to use the same attorney as mine. XH basically walked out the door on me. Leaving with the choice pieces of furniture and me with a house mortgage and two kids. He'd see me down and out were his last remarks. Then, 3 months later, he wants to talk about property settlements. Too late pal. (I did get an apology regarding the marriage through my DD 36 years later.) I did get a job that paid decently. The emotional ramifications were significant and long for both me and my children. Their acting out which lead me into a 2nd marriage to a man they respected and would listen to.
The 2nd marriage has not been easy. Strangely comforting to know I'm not the only one who did this. I rushed into my 2nd marriage thinking I needed to provide a good father for the kids. He was better than the first, but we struggle. Particularly now that the kids are gone. Hope you're not too terribly unhappy. Second marriage for me, too, is a lot tougher than I anticipated. You are most assuredly not alone.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Sept 12, 2014 20:30:05 GMT -5
How grateful all of us are for our online friends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2014 20:47:26 GMT -5
How grateful all of us are for our online friends. They're the only friends I have!
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Sept 12, 2014 21:12:35 GMT -5
I hope you find some RL friends. It took me years to get into a good group. A couple of bad apples surfaced but I think they have been spoken to. Church had it's challenges in the friends area. I don't know what the answer is. I heard a teenager say you have to have a thing or you are nothing in school. She was talking sports or clubs. Best wishes. You OL friends are here.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2014 21:35:36 GMT -5
I do have a few and lots of family, but I'm busy, they're busy. It's sometimes many months between seeing RL friends. Certainly not often enough that we keep up very much. Maybe I should invite them to the board!
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Sept 13, 2014 6:01:55 GMT -5
Nutty I have been following your threads & posts as dd is in the middle of a divorce & has 2 kids. People & you here have reminded me of several things she MUST have entered into the decree like life insurance.
I am concerned about STBX dropping out, taking work under the table & not paying/being able to pay child support, moving to another state & not paying child support.............
I think she will be final before you as there is already a scheduled court date before 2014 ends.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 13, 2014 7:24:32 GMT -5
You have every reason to be concerned. She needs to get a job and get it NOW that provides health insurance. I'd have been living in my moms basement with two kids had I not been employed.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 13, 2014 7:38:44 GMT -5
The reason I got a lawyer was because all the advice I got here and from researching I am just not able to put that all together. For example on my spreadsheet it says life irrevocable beneficiary. I am sure that is not what is put on legal papers and I want to just tell him these things and he can legalise these ramblings I have.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 13, 2014 19:18:43 GMT -5
Imagine me screaming in frustration......Why isn't he doing anything....why why why.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 13, 2014 19:24:17 GMT -5
Why do you care, nutty? He's been served. The ball is in his court. You don't have anything more to do at this point.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 13, 2014 19:37:39 GMT -5
He hasn't been served yet, I guess he found out the way I did either by calling or online. There are a few things I asked him to do regarding finances, that are not going to be taken care of in the divorce. These are small little personal things, like get off my car insurance, little things that I cannot do or he gotta do himself.
He needs to get of the pot as the saying goes. It is what it is.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 13, 2014 19:40:00 GMT -5
He also got me bread and milk the other day, maybe I shoulda kept him...
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 13, 2014 20:07:37 GMT -5
Why do you care, nutty? He's been served. The ball is in his court. You don't have anything more to do at this point. He has a certain number of days to respond to the service (in Florida, it's 20 days), and after that, the court proceedings may go on without him.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Sept 13, 2014 20:09:43 GMT -5
Nutty, my current DH's divorce didn't finalize for three years after the initial filing. My divorce was done in five months from filing.
You can't rush the court no matter how much you want to. I know how stressful this is, and I know you'll get through it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 13, 2014 21:01:25 GMT -5
Imagine me screaming in frustration......Why isn't he doing anything....why why why. Because you've been wiping his ass for him for the past 20 years and he's waiting for someone to do something for him?
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 14, 2014 3:37:32 GMT -5
I guess swamp. I am very practical and sensible and I just thinking about that yesterday. It was gira's thread that made me think about it. I did most everything because I wanted it done. I am finishing this up because I want it done. When things need to get done I do it, I just do it. When I make a decision, that is it. I am so over it.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Sept 14, 2014 5:48:19 GMT -5
You have every reason to be concerned. She needs to get a job and get it NOW that provides health insurance. I'd have been living in my moms basement with two kids had I not been employed. zib If this post was in response to mine:
DD2 DOES have a job. She is a teacher in the local school district w/an advanced degree (pays more) & brings in a pretty comfortable check AND the kids are already on her health insurance-it was better & cheaper than his.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 14, 2014 8:28:11 GMT -5
Whew! I was worried that she was unemployed and hoping for his money. That is nothing but a short way to a disaster.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2014 8:45:06 GMT -5
Whoa...I thought we weren't supposed to attack posters...wth?
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2014 8:49:25 GMT -5
Loony, it's a money discussion board. In past posts, Nutty has disclosed some information which raises up legitimate money questions. Asking someone who's told you that they're unemployed and financially dependent on another person where they're going to get the money to pay for something is a legit question.
And on a personal note, I haven't seen MPL bully or go off on people, so it's funny to hear that accusation from a poster who's known for being nasty to people and going all crazy on them.
So let's all think for a minute. If we need divorce and finance advice should we get it from someone who has recently gone through a similar situation and tends to be even keeled and rational? Or should we consult someone whose life is a financial and emotional crazy train wreck and is known for posting incomprehensible rants? Hmmm.... let's think.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 14, 2014 8:56:16 GMT -5
tloonya, you'd best watch the personal insults very closely. You're on extremely slippery ground. Might be a good idea to take the insults out of that last post. The final sentence is fine. mmhmm, Administrator
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 14, 2014 8:56:59 GMT -5
OMG, that is all I am going to say. My life is not an emotional train wreck at all. I am happier than I have ever been, I have my moments but who doesn't, plenty of rants on here that I don't understand what the upset is. Who say's my finances are a train wreck too.
How far back on here do you go Milee?
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 14, 2014 8:56:55 GMT -5
Whoa...I thought we weren't supposed to attack posters...wth? I've spoken to the issue, bellarue. - mmhmm, Administrator
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 14, 2014 8:57:58 GMT -5
Or should we consult someone whose life is a financial and emotional crazy train wreck and is known for posting incomprehensible rants? Hmmm.... let's think.
A really big insult but worded just so as to not get caught. Also you want to go through a divorce after 23 years of marriage and not have some emotional outbursts?
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2014 8:59:11 GMT -5
OMG, that is all I am going to say. My life is not an emotional train wreck at all. I am happier than I have ever been, I have my moments but who doesn't, plenty of rants on here that I don't understand what the upset is. Who say's my finances are a train wreck too. How far back on here do you go Milee? Re-read. My post was addressed to Loony.
It's hard to tell what your life is or isn't, but my comment wasn't directed at you.
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