nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 15:18:19 GMT -5
It's a passive aggressive move on his part to try and manipulate nutty into not going after what she is entitled to.
Yeah that, he is very passive aggressive. As of now I don't care, I have an attorney.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 15:21:48 GMT -5
I would be very surprised that they alimony would not get paid, though that is something I can't control. He is a career man.
....and the verdict is still out on an affair...
I do actually hope he can't get an attorney.
I am to assume that he is talking about the retainer he doesn't have.
I also don't trust a darn word, well text really, that springs from his mind. It needs to hurry up because he is getting to the angry stage.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 11, 2014 15:32:45 GMT -5
I would be very surprised that they alimony would not get paid, though that is something I can't control. He is a career man. ....and the verdict is still out on an affair... I do actually hope he can't get an attorney. I am to assume that he is talking about the retainer he doesn't have. I also don't trust a darn word well text really that springs from his mind. It needs to hurry up because he is getting to the angry stage. And if he gets angry...still his problem. You are not there with him. He's a grown man, and has to deal with it. And while the judge may grant alimony, keep in mind that Florida has five types of alimony, so the amount and length of time you get it may not meet your expectations. And if your STBX does not have the money, then you may very well be SOL. Getting blood from a stone is rarely possible, even for the court system. Not that the courts won't give it a shot.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 16:57:00 GMT -5
I have said this before, I will get alimony, he has plenty of income. In the petition it states all the alimony types. That is probably the one thing that will screw me getting a lawyer, he probably would have agreed to anything reasonable.
and it also states for him to pay MY attorney fees, I kind of feel bad about that one.
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hurley1980
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Post by hurley1980 on Sept 11, 2014 17:18:21 GMT -5
I have said this before, I will get alimony, he has plenty of income. In the petition it states all the alimony types. That is probably the one thing that will screw me getting a lawyer, he probably would have agreed to anything reasonable. and it also states for him to pay MY attorney fees, I kind of feel bad about that one. Nothing in life is guaranteed except taxes and death. Hopefully you do get it, and hopefully you have a back up plan in place if it falls through. I wouldn't feel bad about him having to pay your attorney fees. I think that's the way it usually works with a SAHS in the event of divorce.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 17:29:36 GMT -5
Am I think only person here who thinks that Nutty's husband is trying to a) stall or b) backtrack?
I haven't followed Nutty's threads much so I don't know if she'd be interested, but maybe he is hoping to reconcile?
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Sept 11, 2014 17:31:30 GMT -5
Am I think only person here who thinks that Nutty's husband is trying to a) stall or b) backtrack? Probably. Or maybe he thinks she will be nicer if he plays the pity card. Regardless, if they are moving forward, him not having a lawyer isn't her problem.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 11, 2014 17:35:17 GMT -5
You're separated and have filed for divorce. His problems are his and yours are yours. His lack of an attorney has nothing whatever to do with you. I wouldn't give it a moment's thought, and would have no hesitation in telling him he needs to learn to cope with his own difficulties on his own.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 17:37:21 GMT -5
Either that.. or you may be drunk? On hot tea and a veggie smoothie? I wish. Tell me you put some Jack in that or something to make the nasty taste go away? I eat my veggies with lots of salad dressing, not drink them. Just seems wrong somehow. Ick.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 18:57:44 GMT -5
Yeah he was really nice the night before last, buttering me up I suppose. He may be stalling because I know he gets a healthy bonus the end of OCT, though he may not want to use for a retainer he would have that option.
In my opinion, well I just don't know, I know for damn sure he absolutely did not expect me to move out or file. Why, I don't know. I wish I could give everyone here the talks we had, the discussions we have had. I just don't remember them all and it is all so jumbled in my head, you are only getting about 5 % of what is going on.
There is no way in hell I would get back together with him without some serious MC, I also would not move back in the house, I just no longer trust him, I think I would always be afraid that he would leave me again ( yes I know I left, but yanno what I mean) It does not give me a happy face to think about getting back together, and anyway he has not even mentioned it. I suppose I could try to girl decipher his text, but I can't and won't any longer.
It's the beginning of the end in my honest opinion and unless he actually asks me back and commits to MC and shows me action not words. I don't know what he is angling for right now.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 19:03:00 GMT -5
How long does he have to respond to the petition for divorce?
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 19:06:45 GMT -5
I believe it is 30 days.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 19:41:48 GMT -5
It doesn't give me a happy face to think of getting back together and that is probably all my heart needs. I am having a good time, I eat when I want etc, it is the freedom to know that no one is expecting anything from you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 19:46:03 GMT -5
Tell me you put some Jack in that or something to make the nasty taste go away? I eat my veggies with lots of salad dressing, not drink them. Just seems wrong somehow. Ick. ETA: My idea of a veggie smoothie is a Bloody Mary... I'm even okay if there is a celery stalk in there. You can keep the tomato juice and whatever else goes in it, and I'll take the vodka and celery.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 12, 2014 6:55:05 GMT -5
It doesn't give me a happy face to think of getting back together and that is probably all my heart needs. I am having a good time, I eat when I want etc, it is the freedom to know that no one is expecting anything from you. So Nutty, it sounds like your are in a much better place now. That's good! Now you need to try to get to the place where he can't push your buttons anymore.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 12, 2014 6:57:51 GMT -5
Thanks Captain, I think I am.
Also just called the county clerks office and YAY it has been filed, on the 10th, I paid that filing fee on the 21st AUG. They gave me the case number as well so when I call her because I don't hear from her I will tell her that I have the bloody case number now hop to it and get him served...lol
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 7:15:40 GMT -5
This is very true about the alimony but even though LEGALLY affairs aren't to be considered, they still can be. If DF had been a prick he could have named who his ex was sleeping with when she asked for a divorce and caused a bunch of shit. I told my ex I would name who he was sleeping with and some of them were married to friends of his as well. Considering there was a police report naming one of them when they were caught in a car in her front yard while a party was going on, this was a nice sword to hang over his head. I've been in court when the judge asks for termination reasons and heard parties say an affair. It's not pretty and it isn't nice to use it but it can be done. You still get the divorce but its out there, a public record.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 7:20:31 GMT -5
This was also in Florida. It's very rare for lifetime alimony to be awarded although depending on age, it can be. My one friend got it because her ex pissed off the judge by deciding at the very last minute, he didnt like the terms of the divorce agreement and took it to court. Judges hate that and reward bad behavior accordingly. I got it for 7 years because that was how long I supported him. I didn't collect it, mind you, but I was awarded it. Make sure you get life insurance on him payable to you and that you get proof that he pays it every year.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2014 7:25:14 GMT -5
so in Florida if it's the women having/had the affair, are they 'punished' in the same manner as men who have affairs?
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 12, 2014 7:25:35 GMT -5
Yep, that will be in there. I took notes and all is on my spreadsheet.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 7:37:57 GMT -5
You betcha. You have to fill out a form and on it it asks if you have had an extramarital affair. I'm sure my ex lied and I don't even care. Still got my divorce and my kids. The rest is just details. I'm vey glad though that I didn't need the alimony and CS to live on or I'd have been up shits creek.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2014 7:38:34 GMT -5
I'm glad they took the affairs thing out of consideration (for most states anyhow). It just seems like it would make for a lot of shit slinging and it would be pretty easy to lie and say someone had an affair. Then ok, so spouse X had an affair, but maybe spouse Y was not so perfect either. The affair is legally unacceptable, but being a cold, insensitive, borderline abusive ass is fine.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 7:38:36 GMT -5
I tried to get more than 50 per cent because I knew I'd never see a dime from him but that was a no go, either.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 12, 2014 8:44:01 GMT -5
Quote from a judge who does divorces: "I don't give a shit who is sleeping with who. Unless someone tried to kill their spouse, I don't care, assets are split 50/50"
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 8:47:06 GMT -5
Most, but not all, judges feel the same way. Just like they get pissed if parties don't settle.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 12, 2014 8:48:17 GMT -5
Most, but not all, judges feel the same way. Just like they get pissed if parties don't settle. They don't get pissed if there is a real issue to try. they get pissed when one or both parties are just being vindictive and stupid.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 12, 2014 8:48:57 GMT -5
True. That why DFs ex finally settled.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 12, 2014 8:50:46 GMT -5
On hot tea and a veggie smoothie? I wish. Tell me you put some Jack in that or something to make the nasty taste go away? I eat my veggies with lots of salad dressing, not drink them. Just seems wrong somehow. Ick. No, but you're giving me ideas now. I use a protein powder, and the veggie flavor kinda balances out.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 12, 2014 9:52:02 GMT -5
Yep, that will be in there. I took notes and all is on my spreadsheet. Good.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Sept 12, 2014 11:21:20 GMT -5
The polite "irreconcilable differences" stops the mud slinging and gets the job done.
My xH decided to use the same attorney as mine. XH basically walked out the door on me. Leaving with the choice pieces of furniture and me with a house mortgage and two kids. He'd see me down and out were his last remarks.
Then, 3 months later, he wants to talk about property settlements. Too late pal. (I did get an apology regarding the marriage through my DD 36 years later.)
I did get a job that paid decently. The emotional ramifications were significant and long for both me and my children. Their acting out which lead me into a 2nd marriage to a man they respected and would listen to.
The 2nd marriage has not been easy.
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