nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 10:11:47 GMT -5
Had a text conversation that went along the lines of seeming to care about the fact that my lawyer has not acted or filed the petition, I signed it July 23rd, to now telling me that he can't afford a lawyer. Am I supposed to care, am I supposed to help him divorce me when I wasn't the one who initiated this. I don't get that when he said those words to me (I don't think I want to be married anymore) what did he expect. Should I just ignore him from now on now the gauntlet has been thrown down? It was kind of whiny like I am going to have to do it myself, or look for pro bono etc.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 11, 2014 10:14:10 GMT -5
Not your problem. He can check with Legal Aid and get help. It likely won't be free, but he will get charged on a sliding scale (based on what he can afford).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 10:17:30 GMT -5
How can you with no job, living off of him, afford an attorney and he can't?
I agree, not your problem.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 10:19:05 GMT -5
Thank you, I did text that several times in a polite manner, as in I didn't text awww your bad etc LOL I really wanted to be a bitch but it just isn't in me. I left it at " I understand your position and I feel sorry for you"
I am not going to do all this without a lawyer, why does he think that I would even consider it.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 10:22:28 GMT -5
Man MPL you keep bringing up that shit, you don't know my circumstances at all so stop trying to be all nosy. To answer your question that is really only what I will give you is that I have a payment plan.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 10:25:06 GMT -5
Man MPL you keep bringing up that shit, you don't know my circumstances at all so stop trying to be all nosy. To answer your question that is really only what I will give you is that I have a payment plan. Bringing up what shit? I was siding with you. Jeez. You're wound awfully tight.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 11, 2014 10:25:43 GMT -5
Take it easy nutty - it was an honest question and a valid one. I didn't see any malice from minnesotapaintlady in it. You've shared a lot of information here so it was based on that. AND if you will recall, she is in a very similiar place to where you are but she has two underage kids to care for as well. I would think her insights may be useful. If you don't want people commenting or asking questions then why post here?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 10:27:45 GMT -5
I think I'm going to make a point of not commenting on any of nutty's threads anymore. She takes every comment I make the wrong way and freaks out.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 11, 2014 10:30:23 GMT -5
MPL - that would be too bad and IMHO her loss. You've offered some amazing advice and insights to others and I think you are doing remarkably well in you current situation.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Sept 11, 2014 10:30:53 GMT -5
I think I'm going to make a point of not commenting on any of nutty's threads anymore. She takes every comment I make the wrong way and freaks out. I'm sure it's a sensitive issue for her. But I took you comment to mean " how is that he (as the breadwinner) can't afford it, if she has the funds". Meaning that getting out is now a priority for her, but he'd rather spend his money elsewhere.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 11, 2014 10:36:11 GMT -5
I think I'm going to make a point of not commenting on any of nutty's threads anymore. She takes every comment I make the wrong way and freaks out. I'm sure it's a sensitive issue for her. But I took you comment to mean " how is that he (as the breadwinner) can't afford it, if she has the funds". Meaning that getting out is now a priority for her, but he'd rather spend his money elsewhere. I think her question was a valid one, nutty is counting on getting alimony from her husband and whatever else. I would be worried about someone making alimony payments if they cannot afford a lawyer. But he might be bluffing, who knows.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 10:37:46 GMT -5
Yes, that is what I think, he would rather spend (or not spend) his money else where and yes I have got the How can you with no job, living off of him, afford an attorney and he can't? from you and others before. The first two are IMO meant to be insulting to me. MPL just could have said, not your problem without making me feel even more crappier than I do right now.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 11, 2014 10:40:53 GMT -5
Yes, that is what I think, he would rather spend (or not spend) his money else where and yes I have got the How can you with no job, living off of him, afford an attorney and he can't? from you and others before. The first two are IMO meant to be insulting to me. MPL just could have said, not your problem without making me feel even more crappier than I do right now. Is it inaccurate? Do you have a job now?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 10:43:09 GMT -5
Yes, that is what I think, he would rather spend (or not spend) his money else where and yes I have got the How can you with no job, living off of him, afford an attorney and he can't? from you and others before. The first two are IMO meant to be insulting to me. MPL just could have said, not your problem without making me feel even more crappier than I do right now. It wasn't insulting to you. I was a SAHM and would still be today if circumstances hadn't forced me into the workforce. Also, it is EXACTLY what I would have said to him if I was you and he whined to me about not being able to afford an attorney.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Sept 11, 2014 10:45:14 GMT -5
oh ok, I am so sorry MPL I seem to have def. taken it the wrong way.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 11, 2014 10:45:24 GMT -5
I'm not sure how asking how someone, with more means, can't afford something that someone, with much less, can afford is insulting? If anything, it's a dig on your STBX, not you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 10:57:50 GMT -5
MPL...see that's one of the reasons why I like you. I well remember the circumstances surrounding your first divorce way, way back when...(I could certainly relate as I also had gone through the same thing years before, and my heart broke right along with/for you) when you found yourself in a similiar situation as nutty does today (sahm, sahw) Thanks for letting her know that you didn't intend to insult her as you yourself went through it..as have I and millions of other women. Nutty, keep calm and carry on. Time will heal your heartbreak, promise..
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Sept 11, 2014 11:13:50 GMT -5
Yes, that is what I think, he would rather spend (or not spend) his money else where and yes I have got the How can you with no job, living off of him, afford an attorney and he can't? from you and others before. The first two are IMO meant to be insulting to me. MPL just could have said, not your problem without making me feel even more crappier than I do right now. No offense, nutty, but I had/have exactly the same question. It's not to make you feel crappy at all. If you husband is supposed to pay you alimony, how can he afford it with no job ? You need to use the experiences of those who have been divorced (myself, for one ) or are going through it now ( MPL ) to supplement your knowledge as you go through this process. NObody is trying to hurt you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 13:49:59 GMT -5
I would be more worried about if he doesn't have money for a lawyer, how is he going to have money for alimony.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 11, 2014 13:57:45 GMT -5
I think saying he doesn't have money for a lawyer is just a manipulation tactic. He is trying to lay the blame and burden of the divorce on nutty and he can play the innocent one and say "well she was the one who hired an attorney and filed for divorce". It's a passive aggressive move on his part to try and manipulate nutty into not going after what she is entitled to. That's exactly what I thought. He's playing the "I'm poor" card so the judge will have sympathy and not hold him up for very much in the way of providing financial compensation. Damn, I agreed with MM twice today. It's too early for hell to freeze over, but we do have a tropical depression outside. Must be the reason.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 11, 2014 13:59:35 GMT -5
if he doesn't hire an attorney, nutty gets whatever she asks for.
Nutty, ask for $5,000,000 a month alimony.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 14:03:38 GMT -5
if he doesn't hire an attorney, nutty gets whatever she asks for.
Nutty, ask for $5,000,000 a month alimony. Well he can represent himself can't he?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 11, 2014 14:04:03 GMT -5
if he doesn't hire an attorney, nutty gets whatever she asks for.
Nutty, ask for $5,000,000 a month alimony. Doesn't a judge rule on the final settlement? Yes.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 11, 2014 14:04:30 GMT -5
if he doesn't hire an attorney, nutty gets whatever she asks for.
Nutty, ask for $5,000,000 a month alimony. Well he can represent himself can't he? Yes.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 11, 2014 14:19:16 GMT -5
Judges don't like men who have affairs and think they're going to leave their spouses who have no job skills penniless. I'm not thinking this will work out the way he thinks it will.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Sept 11, 2014 14:22:27 GMT -5
Yes, that is what I think, he would rather spend (or not spend) his money else where and yes I have got the How can you with no job, living off of him, afford an attorney and he can't? from you and others before. The first two are IMO meant to be insulting to me. MPL just could have said, not your problem without making me feel even more crappier than I do right now. I don't think they were meant to be insulting at all. It really just points out you clearly have made getting a lawyer a priority & even in your situation have managed to do so. He could do the same, but is opting not to. Not your problem. Better for you if he doesn't get a lawyer anyway.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 14:23:30 GMT -5
Judges don't like men who have affairs and think they're going to leave their spouses who have no job skills penniless. I'm not thinking this will work out the way he thinks it will. nobody cares who has an affair or who did what..... and just because alimony is awarded, doesn't mean it gets paid.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2014 14:24:41 GMT -5
I don't even think nutty's husband had an affair did he?
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justme
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Post by justme on Sept 11, 2014 14:28:17 GMT -5
Judges don't like men who have affairs and think they're going to leave their spouses who have no job skills penniless. I'm not thinking this will work out the way he thinks it will. nobody cares who has an affair or who did what..... and just because alimony is awarded, doesn't mean it gets paid. Actually, while Florida is a no fault state the old reasons that used to be needed for divorce can still be used to sway the outcome. My brother used the threat/promise of going have his ex for her adultery in court if she didn't agree to the division his lawyer came up with (she kept calling in to work sick after she left him so she had no money for a lawyer, and her bf didn't make much to help her out either). He had proof though, because neither her nor the bf were smart enough to leave their relationship off social media. A judge isn't going to view in your favor if you're spouting about your engagement on FB when the divorce hasn't even been started! I'm sure that varies by state though, and even in Florida they don't HAVE to take it into consideration they're just allowed to.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 11, 2014 15:01:47 GMT -5
That's exactly what I thought. He's playing the "I'm poor" card so the judge will have sympathy and not hold him up for very much in the way of providing financial compensation. Damn, I agreed with MM twice today. It's too early for hell to freeze over, but we do have a tropical depression outside. Must be the reason. Either that.. or you may be drunk? On hot tea and a veggie smoothie? I wish.
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