Where did you meet your SO

[t-dog]

In looking at my daily routine it's become apparent that I'm not likely to run across potential dates. I work in an office and after work activities are kids sports. The sports do have a fair number of single parents, unfortunately they are pretty much all single moms. I fear this attempt to re-enter the dating world when in the middle 40s with a pre-teen boy at home is destined for failure.

Where did you meet your SO?

[zibazinski]

Working in one of his fathers businesses.

[Deleted]

Both of them at work.

[Sam_2.0]

We met at a church talent show Our little brothers were participating and we both showed up to watch, and noticed each other sitting across the aisle. Turns out our brothers were friends and facilitated exchanging phone numbers for us. We went on our first date two days later and the rest is history.

My mom & dad met at the grocery store. Dad worked there and was stocking the dairy case when mom stopped in for a gallon of milk. He proceeded to follow her around the rest of the store and made her so nervous that she dropped the milk & it broke. So he bought another one for her & carried it out to the car and ended up getting her number too.

[Peace Of Mind]

DH1 - Met at work.
DH2 - We lived in the same neighborhood and he was my younger brother's best friend.  My best friend "babysat" him and his little sister when they were young and we were young teenagers.   With all of those connections I think it was meant to be.  I just had to wait for him to grow up (still waiting ) because I'm older than him. 

t-dog - Be patient and concentrate on your own life and self and Bam! there he will be even if you are already married.    Ask me  how I know this. 

[chen35]

Online

[Sum Dum Gai]

She met some real life friends of mine online.  I met her when she came out to meet them in person.

[ArchietheDragon]

Uconn - Marching Band. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Community College in biology class

[t-dog]

POM - that is what I have been doing for the last 5 years...focusing on self and child. 

[t-dog]

Somehow the online world of dating just seems icky - haven't done it but can't shake that "don't go there" feeling.

[Bonny]

At a New Year's Eve party given by friends/former classmates at our college alma mater.

Funny thing was I was invited to the party by my BFF and her then boyfriend. Boyfriend is brother of person giving party and was a high school classmate of BFF and me. When boyfriend heard DH and I got together he tried to talk DH out of dating me. BFF and boyfriend broke up. DH and I got married. BFF and ex-boyfriend married other people. BFF and her husband broke up about 10 years into their marriage. Ex Boyfriend and his wife broke up too. They have since remarried to other people but DH and I have now been married for 26 years.


BTW Ex boyfriend did try to apologize about 10 years ago after he and his wife broke up. I made light of it because karma is a bitch.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Somehow the online world of dating just seems icky - haven't done it but can't shake that "don't go there" feeling.

So don't go to dating sites.  Loop met my friends on a chat program.  They use to play games together.  A group of them got pretty tight and decided to all meet up in Las Vegas for New Years.

Dating is mostly just talking to somebody to find out if you're compatible.  You're sitting on the internet right now talking to people.  Granted, here, pretty much every guy who posts is married, but still.

[Deleted]

YM needs an available posters board.

[Ryan]

We met in college.  If I were to get divorced now, I have no idea where I'd meet someone.  All my friends are married with kids and I can't think of anyone that is single (mid-30's).  In other words, nobody really goes out anymore and that's how I used to meet people.  

[Opti]

Aug 6, 2014 14:05:28 GMT -5 t-dog said:

POM - that is what I have been doing for the last 5 years...focusing on self and child. 

I think the BAM he will be there only works for some people.

Most people find someone because they are looking even if it happens in unexpected ways.

I'm not sure what the magic thing is, but I think you have to be attuned to what you really

want for it to happen. I think the BAM happens to people who are attuned that are just trying

too hard, so once they stop trying too hard, there's room for it to happen.

I liken it to people who are struggling to conceive. Some do actually conceive after giving

up trying to become pregnant. However, most actually go through the fertility process in order for it to work.

Then there are those who never have that issue. You don't know which category you fall into,

until it happens (or doesn't).

Does this mean your date doesn't show promise for the future?

[Bonny]

Aug 6, 2014 14:05:28 GMT -5 t-dog said:

POM - that is what I have been doing for the last 5 years...focusing on self and child. 

I'd find some kind of activity I liked and would go from there. For example, I like to hike. If I were single I'd join a hiking club. And go to parties when you're invited. The friends of friends network works well because there's a way of vetting the crazies.

ETA: I'd also go to reunions; high school, college, law school et cetera.

[Opti]

Aug 6, 2014 14:12:42 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

YM needs an available posters board.

You could always start a thread in YM off topic and see if Moon will pin it.

[Sam_2.0]

t-dog - I did eHarmony for awhile before I met DH. Honestly I met 3 very nice guys on there that I had a lot in common with and enjoyed getting to know. The only thing it can't really screen for is the spark/attraction factor. You know pretty quickly if that part isn't going to work out. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would have been and I can absolutely see how people meet a spouse that way.

Does your DS have any other interests besides soccer? Any neighborhood groups you can hang out with? What are your interests and hobbies? A lot of times the best place to meet someone is doing something that you already love - volunteering with a charity, running club, etc.

[justme]

The online dating world is best approach from an entertainment angle. 

ETA: No SO. Met the last one at a Meetup. The two current guys I've been on dates with were online - though almost could say a third one was in a bar if I had remembered to get his number . The custerf(*k before the last bf was in the voting line. Then online, a friends party. 

[t-dog]

Bonny, great ideas but my high school was all girls and it closed its doors 3 years ago. College was in Midwest and law school NYC, so about as far away from where I live as possible! I'll have to research activity groups...no idea what's out there since I've been mostly kid focused for last few years.

[justme]

Meetup might be a good way. Like I said I met my last bf there (and we'd still be together if he didn't take that damn job) and one of my new closest friends. You definitely see the same people frequently if you go to a lot of the Meetups a group has, and you can find a Meetup for just about anything.

[swamp]

One of my friends from HS married his brother.

[souldoubt]

Through mutual friends who were dating at the time.  As far as online dating goes I've never done it but know a lot of people who have and the free sites (plenty of fish) or apps (tinder) all seem to be hook up tools around here.  That said I know people who have met through some of the various sites I'd consider less sketchy (some religion based, pay for dating sites) and some of those have ended in marriage or long term relationships.  My mom and one of her friends have gone to some single social meet ups that were put on by a local group that tries to get people together for various things - dancing, sporting events, etc.  They met some fun people who at least had like minded interests.  

[ArchietheDragon]

Aug 6, 2014 14:29:58 GMT -5 swamp said:

One of my friends from HS married his brother.

Dating should start at home. 

[Sam_2.0]

Aug 6, 2014 14:29:58 GMT -5 swamp said:

One of my friends from HS married his brother.

Are you still friends with her? Would be nice to have a SIL that you can be friends with!!

[NastyWoman]

Where did you meet your SO?

Carneval aka Mardi Gras. We partied for 4 days and then stayed together for over 30 years.   It didn't last TDDUP though

[swamp]

Aug 6, 2014 14:37:28 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Aug 6, 2014 14:29:58 GMT -5 swamp said:

One of my friends from HS married his brother.

Are you still friends with her? Would be nice to have a SIL that you can be friends with!!

No. She's kind of a bitch. 

[Sam_2.0]

Aug 6, 2014 14:38:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

Aug 6, 2014 14:37:28 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Are you still friends with her? Would be nice to have a SIL that you can be friends with!!

No. She's kind of a bitch. 

I think that about all my SILs, which most likely means they are fine and I am the bitch since I am the common denominator there.

[cael]

We met at work when we were 18. If I were to end up single I also would have noooo idea where to meet people - but I'm not afraid to meet and talk to people online, so I'd probably try that. I have friends I've made online who I hang with IRL now. I'd probably also sidle my way into social activities I like and meet people that way - at the rock gym, join a running club, take a photography class, find a hiking group or something. Who knows, I'll (hopefully) probably never be in that position but I like to think that if I ever am, I'd fare ok! Oh, and if I ever find myself single I've promised myself I'd join the peace corps or do some other long term overseas volunteer work - and I bet I'd meet people that way. (not that that's an option for the OP, lol)