steph08
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Post by steph08 on Aug 5, 2014 10:40:34 GMT -5
Funny, I am reading this thread with my six-week-old attached to my boob. Breastfeeding is pretty easy for us and I have pumped milk available for DH or whoever to feed her so I can get out of the house and when I go back to work. Even so, it is a huge time suck and my DD is attached to me 24/7. If I had friends, I might consider formula.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 5, 2014 10:40:45 GMT -5
My mom was told if she had allergy shots while pregnant I wouldn't get allergies. Yeah that was a load of bs. She tried breastfeeding me but didn't produce enough. The pediatrician wasn't happy with my weight loss at my six week checkup and it would have been worse but they were giving me sugar water bottles between feedings when I was still hungry.
Fifteen formulas later they found one I could eat. At a year, I got whole milk. As it turns out I was born with an allergy to soy.
My brother was 100% formula fed and has fewer allergies than me. I will say the only time I ever needed an epi pen was due to a very bad reaction to allergy shots. I'd been on the maintenance dose for six months when it went wrong.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:43:28 GMT -5
There's also that 'dirt' theory- the more exposed you are to dirt as a kid the lesser your allergies are.
Now, I played outside a lot, but our house was *spotless* when I was child, so maybe that's why I have so many allergies.
Now, my house is pretty dirty, unfortunately. 3 dogs, a toddler, and 2 working parents with no desire to clean... yeah. If the dirt theory is correct my child is set for life!!
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 10:44:58 GMT -5
This is a rant about my SIL. She spent 45 minutes trying to justify why she wants to formula feed her baby to me. As if I cared!!! She said that it was inconvenient because she wanted to go out with her friends, and she didn't want to take her baby with her because her boyfriend didn't want to come along because it was her friends. But if she was formula feeding, she would be able to leave her baby with her boyfriend. And she can't pump enough milk in a reasonable amount of time to make a bottle. I don't care if other people formula feed or breast feed. I did the best thing for my children by breastfeeding, because I did the research and it was a choice that I made (along with my husband)! But why is it that every time that someone founds out that I breast fed and they don't want to or didn't breastfeed spend hours trying to justify their choice to me!!! Like I care! And the entire time, all I'm doing is nodding my head WITHOUT saying anything! But that judgemental side of me couldn't help but fucking wonder how the hell they were going to find money to formula feed their baby? Seriously, she's on maternity leave, she has nothing else to do but feed the baby and take care of it. And it's not like it's hard for her. She's doing quite fine with it! The baby is strong and healthy and fat. Why mess with a good thing? Oh right, because you want to hang out with your friends! And she also makes a big deal about not eating processed foods, but she wants to feed her newborn one of the most processed foods ever? Great logic! Processed food isn't good enough for her, but good enough for her kid? Sorry, I had to let it out. I was biting my tongue so hard during the entire conversation that I figuratively needed stitches. Rant over! Hey, everyone gets to rant. I will admit I am a pretty judgemental bitch when it comes to my SIL (my brother's idiot wife). She gave up bf her kid for whatever reason and stays home, yet bitches to my brother about working OT to pay their bills because it means he's gone for long periods of time and she's stuck at home with no adult interaction. And watching the baby all day wears her out too much to do anything so my brother has to do all cooking & housework when he does get home. Nevermind the fact that they are barely making it, she's now into Shakeology to help her lose the baby weight and spends $150/m on her shakes and still eats like crap the rest of the time so it's not working at all. Sometimes it's not the issue at hand (bf/ff), sometimes it's just that EVERYTHING the person does just annoys the hell out of you
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:46:42 GMT -5
I always wondered how true is this myth or is it just people being defensive by making up some imagined enemy? I'm curious, because you always hear about them, but never met a real life example of one before, during or after my breastfeeding period.You breastfed. The Nazis had nothing to say to you aside from "Go girl!" Yes, true. But people would see me out with my babies, and they couldn't know that I breastfed or not. I didn't walk around with a sign and I certainly didn't advertise it. The only way you would know that I breastfed was if you came into my house and saw me doing it. And I still got no comments, period. But as I'm typing, I think that it might have something to do with the fact that I rarely left the house in the first couple of months when they were attached to me, and I also have a permanent face expression that does not welcome comments from anyone.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:49:15 GMT -5
This is a rant about my SIL. She spent 45 minutes trying to justify why she wants to formula feed her baby to me. As if I cared!!! She said that it was inconvenient because she wanted to go out with her friends, and she didn't want to take her baby with her because her boyfriend didn't want to come along because it was her friends. But if she was formula feeding, she would be able to leave her baby with her boyfriend. And she can't pump enough milk in a reasonable amount of time to make a bottle. I don't care if other people formula feed or breast feed. I did the best thing for my children by breastfeeding, because I did the research and it was a choice that I made (along with my husband)! But why is it that every time that someone founds out that I breast fed and they don't want to or didn't breastfeed spend hours trying to justify their choice to me!!! Like I care! And the entire time, all I'm doing is nodding my head WITHOUT saying anything! But that judgemental side of me couldn't help but fucking wonder how the hell they were going to find money to formula feed their baby? Seriously, she's on maternity leave, she has nothing else to do but feed the baby and take care of it. And it's not like it's hard for her. She's doing quite fine with it! The baby is strong and healthy and fat. Why mess with a good thing? Oh right, because you want to hang out with your friends! And she also makes a big deal about not eating processed foods, but she wants to feed her newborn one of the most processed foods ever? Great logic! Processed food isn't good enough for her, but good enough for her kid? Sorry, I had to let it out. I was biting my tongue so hard during the entire conversation that I figuratively needed stitches. Rant over! Hey, everyone gets to rant. I will admit I am a pretty judgemental bitch when it comes to my SIL (my brother's idiot wife). She gave up bf her kid for whatever reason and stays home, yet bitches to my brother about working OT to pay their bills because it means he's gone for long periods of time and she's stuck at home with no adult interaction. And watching the baby all day wears her out too much to do anything so my brother has to do all cooking & housework when he does get home. Nevermind the fact that they are barely making it, she's now into Shakeology to help her lose the baby weight and spends $150/m on her shakes and still eats like crap the rest of the time so it's not working at all. Sometimes it's not the issue at hand (bf/ff), sometimes it's just that EVERYTHING the person does just annoys the hell out of you Well, this is the SIL who has no money and that why I don't get where she plans to get the money to pay for all this formula. That stuff is expensive. She also begged for my cloth diapers, and she still hasn't gotten around to using them. Sorry, I'm still sore about the cloth diapers.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 10:55:48 GMT -5
Well, this is the SIL who has no money and that why I don't get where she plans to get the money to pay for all this formula. That stuff is expensive.
No argument there but if she's low income she can probably qualify for WIC. I have my own SIL issues ( ) but I hate BF judgment. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed so badly that I cried the first time DH filled a bottle for Babybird because she was just so hungry we couldn't take it anymore. For people who can easily do it, that's wonderful for you. There's just no need to comment on other people's decision to do something different. It doesn't MATTER why. It's none of your business.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Aug 5, 2014 10:56:15 GMT -5
Well that is what you said that set me off, it sounds pretty judgemental to me. I did the research too, and I tried. I am almost certain my Doctor told me it wasn't going to work too, but I wanted to try. When I was expecting my second there is so much preachy crap about breastfeeding being the absolute best that I was going to try again when my Mom talked to me about PPD and asked me not to attemt it. (My Dad was Bi-polar and she was concerend about how depression would affect me).
You SIL is probably trying so hard to justify her dedison to you b/c you project a holier than thou attitude about breastfeeding being so good for your children.
It seems that I am not alone in the way I reacted to your words, so maybe you should consider how you are coming off to people.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 5, 2014 11:06:09 GMT -5
I wish the dirt theory worked for me. Our house was never super clean. I had a dog and a rabbit. These days if I touch a rabbit and touch my face, my eyes will swell shut. There are no angora sweaters in my winter wardrobe. After my parents divorced we lived with my grandparents for a couple years. We had a rabbit, dogs, horses and cattle. We lived outside. I was born with the stupid things and they get worse as I get older. I got asthma a couple years ago on top of the worsening allergies.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 11:07:37 GMT -5
It seems that I am not alone in the way I reacted to your words, so maybe you should consider how you are coming off to people.
Another thing to keep in mind: Some people have no issues with either formula feeding or breastfeeding. I have a friend who always planned to FF, did it, and is perfectly happy with that decision - no need to justify it to anyone.
But then there's others like me who WANTED to breastfeed but it just didn't work out for whatever reason. Women in the second camp tend to be quite a bit more sensitive about the fact that they're not doing it. There are so many people out there judging us because we're not doing it and they never seem to pause to consider the idea that we wish we WERE doing it.
Even comments that seem innocent to you can be taken as very judgmental by women who wanted badly to BF and couldn't. Maybe SIL falls in that camp and senses your "judgmental side" and that's why she talked your ear off attempting to justify her choice to you.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 11:07:50 GMT -5
Well that is what you said that set me off, it sounds pretty judgemental to me. I did the research too, and I tried. I am almost certain my Doctor told me it wasn't going to work too, but I wanted to try. When I was expecting my second there is so much preachy crap about breastfeeding being the absolute best that I was going to try again when my Mom talked to me about PPD and asked me not to attemt it. (My Dad was Bi-polar and she was concerend about how depression would affect me). You SIL is probably trying so hard to justify her dedison to you b/c you project a holier than thou attitude about breastfeeding being so good for your children. It seems that I am not alone in the way I reacted to your words, so maybe you should consider how you are coming off to people. I still think that you are projecting. You obviously did the same research that I did, and came to the exact same conclusion: breastfeed your children. You wanted to try despite what your doctor said, which shows your determination. The only difference is that it came to me easily, and it didn't for you. And now you seem to want to think that people who came to the same conclusion after doing the same research that you did must judge you for not having successfully breastfed. I ensure you that I couldn't care less and I don't judge. Other people might, but I don't. And as for what my SIL thought, she would be the best person able to answer that. And since she's not here, I think that I'm in a better position to judge what she probably meant more than you.
As for what people's reaction is, I got exactly what I was looking for. A good subject to talk about on a slow work day! eta confusing wording
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 11:10:38 GMT -5
As for what people's reaction is, I got exactly what I was looking for. A good subject to talk about on a slow work day!Mommy wars can always be counted on for that much
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 11:11:45 GMT -5
It seems that I am not alone in the way I reacted to your words, so maybe you should consider how you are coming off to people.
Another thing to keep in mind: Some people have no issues with either formula feeding or breastfeeding. I have a friend who always planned to FF, did it, and is perfectly happy with that decision - no need to justify it to anyone. But then there's others like me who WANTED to breastfeed but it just didn't work out for whatever reason. Women in the second camp tend to be quite a bit more sensitive about the fact that they're not doing it. There are so many people out there judging us because we're not doing it and they never seem to pause to consider the idea that we wish we WERE doing it. Even comments that seem innocent to you can be taken as very judgmental by women who wanted badly to BF and couldn't. Maybe SIL falls in that camp and senses your "judgmental side" and that's why she talked your ear off attempting to justify her choice to you. Yes, but that's all on you! How about if I said, I chose to paint my living room blue because it was the best choice for me. And I researched a lot, and thought that the brand Benjamin Moore was the best out there, and I wanted that for my family. So this is what I did. Would you take it the same way? No, you would be like. Whatever! Benjamin Moore is overpriced and overhyped! But if that is what she wants. Go for it! As long as I'm not paying for it!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Aug 5, 2014 11:13:11 GMT -5
There's also that 'dirt' theory- the more exposed you are to dirt as a kid the lesser your allergies are. Now, I played outside a lot, but our house was *spotless* when I was child, so maybe that's why I have so many allergies. Now, my house is pretty dirty, unfortunately. 3 dogs, a toddler, and 2 working parents with no desire to clean... yeah. If the dirt theory is correct my child is set for life!! I was at a research meeting and was talking to an immunologist. He is firmly convinced that how clean we keep everything today is largely responsible for the large surge of allergies that we're seeing. Lysol and triclosan have probably done more to keep immunologists and allergy docs in business than anything! What's sad is that it is VERY hard to find soaps that do not contain things that kill all microbes. You're never going to kill them, just lower your bacterial load. And in reality, you do NOT want to kill them. We need microbes to be healthy because they protect us from more pathogenic bacteria. I grew up in a dirty house too......and hate cleaning as well. I figure I'm doing well if the big chunks are picked up!
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 11:19:01 GMT -5
It seems that I am not alone in the way I reacted to your words, so maybe you should consider how you are coming off to people.
Another thing to keep in mind: Some people have no issues with either formula feeding or breastfeeding. I have a friend who always planned to FF, did it, and is perfectly happy with that decision - no need to justify it to anyone. But then there's others like me who WANTED to breastfeed but it just didn't work out for whatever reason. Women in the second camp tend to be quite a bit more sensitive about the fact that they're not doing it. There are so many people out there judging us because we're not doing it and they never seem to pause to consider the idea that we wish we WERE doing it. Even comments that seem innocent to you can be taken as very judgmental by women who wanted badly to BF and couldn't. Maybe SIL falls in that camp and senses your "judgmental side" and that's why she talked your ear off attempting to justify her choice to you. Yes, but that's all on you!How about if I said, I chose to paint my living room blue because it was the best choice for me. And I researched a lot, and thought that the brand Benjamin Moore was the best out there, and I wanted that for my family. So this is what I did. Would you take it the same way? No, you would be like. Whatever! Benjamin Moore is overpriced and overhyped! But if that is what she wants. Go for it! As long as I'm not paying for it! I will agree here. It seems like we take a lot of different choices as judgement against our own even if no one has ever said a negative word to us about it. I know I do it with a lot of things. I feel like I am missing out on so much with DD since I can't be home with her during the day to go to the zoo or ballet class. It's not my SAHM mom friends judging me, but it's easy to feel like they are because I am projecting my own issues out there.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 11:20:38 GMT -5
Yes, but that's all on you!
True, but my point is that some subjects are more sensitive than others and it's not a bad idea to be aware of some obvious minefields amongst hormonal postpartum women I'm over the BF thing now but I'm a LOT more careful about what I say to people on the subject because I know how badly the comments can sting. Yes, everyone has their issues and it's not reasonable to expect people to cater to all of them. For example, I don't expect people to tiptoe around the question of whether I'm having another child just because it's a shitty, painful subject for me - how are they supposed to know that? It's a natural question and I accept that I'll get asked it a lot. Nothing to be gained by making people feel like jerks for asking a pretty routine conversational question. But it's nice when people have enough tact to avoid judgmental comments on subjects that a lot of people find difficult or painful to discuss (breast vs. bottle feeding being one of those subjects, IME). I realize not everyone agrees with this - a lot of people think they should be able to talk about whatever they want, whenever they want. And hey, I agree - it's a free country. On the other hand, if everyone can win by discussing some other subject, why not go with that?
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 5, 2014 11:32:09 GMT -5
I ran into this type of thing just the other day. It was a group of 4, 3 of us had vaginal deliveries and either bfed or eped. The 4th had really really rough preg/deliveries with csection and formula fed. The one who recently gave birth was talking about bfing and knowing if she had enough etc, that transitioned to birth stories. At one point the c-section person burst in and said "I didn't even have that choice, I couldn't bf because of xxxx, I had to have a csection because of xxx". So at that point we just moved onto a topic which was not feeding or giving birth. It was obvious even though all we were doing was talking about our own experiences, that was painful for her and she felt like she had to justify her csection/formula feeding, so it was just easier to stop the conversation. It was just seemed sad all around, as I think she knew we were not judging at all but still she felt the need to explain something which did not demand an explanation
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 11:33:49 GMT -5
Yes, but that's all on you!
True, but my point is that some subjects are more sensitive than others and it's not a bad idea to be aware of some obvious minefields amongst hormonal postpartum women I'm over the BF thing now but I'm a LOT more careful about what I say to people on the subject because I know how badly the comments can sting. Yes, everyone has their issues and it's not reasonable to expect people to cater to all of them. For example, I don't expect people to tiptoe around the question of whether I'm having another child just because it's a shitty, painful subject for me - how are they supposed to know that? It's a natural question and I accept that I'll get asked it a lot. Nothing to be gained by making people feel like jerks for asking a pretty routine conversational question. But it's nice when people have enough tact to avoid judgmental comments on subjects that a lot of people find difficult or painful to discuss (breast vs. bottle feeding being one of those subjects, IME). I realize not everyone agrees with this - a lot of people think they should be able to talk about whatever they want, whenever they want. And hey, I agree - it's a free country. On the other hand, if everyone can win by discussing some other subject, why not go with that? I actually feel like I learned a lot with this discussion. It's not that my opinions are changed, but I have to admit that what you said earlier about, paraphrasing here, "even people who are not judgemental about it are judgemental about it a little anyway. " is true. It feels like you can't get away with not being judgemental about it though. If at some point, you make a judgemental call about what is best, then you're also implying that other people's choices are bad. But, the intent isn't to judge. But for what's worth, I didn't say anything to my SIL and I don't say anything to people IRL. I'm not a talker; all the judgements stay in my head or on this forum. I rarely talk in general.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 5, 2014 11:38:20 GMT -5
I don't talk to people anymore as much as I can help it.
While I am not the most tactful person, I am also not a total bitch and it's never (well, 99% of the time) is not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings.
But people's feelings get hurt and they feel judged all.the.freaking.time
So, I don't ask questions (which, I am sure some will find offensive as well) and I don't make comments and I don't offer opinions. Even when asked.
Bc frankly, I don't believe most people when they say that they are open minded and comfortable with their decisions and blah blah blah.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Aug 5, 2014 11:40:27 GMT -5
and I also have a permanent face expression that does not welcome comments from anyone. I have this face. I never get hit on, never get approached by those kiosk people in the middle of the malls, almost never get hit up by the homeless for money...it comes in handy at times.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 11:42:26 GMT -5
I have this face. I never get hit on, never get approached by those kiosk people in the middle of the malls, almost never get hit up by the homeless for money...it comes in handy at times. I think it's because I was born in a big city! You gotta have that face or people will eat you alive!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 11:43:52 GMT -5
It feels like you can't get away with not being judgemental about it though. If at some point, you make a judgemental call about what is best, then you're also implying that other people's choices are bad. But, the intent isn't to judge.
This is true. And sometimes you can't escape it. We all judge. But the scene yogiii described is more common than I think people want to admit, except that the "odd one out" doesn't always feel comfortable enough to burst into tears and instead just sits there feeling like a shitty mom as the others (probably unintentionally) continue to reinforce her feelings of guilt over something she did, or didn't do.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 5, 2014 11:54:37 GMT -5
except that the "odd one out" doesn't always feel comfortable enough to burst into tears and instead just sits there feeling like a shitty mom as the others (probably unintentionally) continue to reinforce her feelings of guilt over something she did, or didn't do.
I felt that way in my childbirth class when I was pregnant with Gwen. I got stuck in a group full of what I call "granola moms" and it was REALLY uncomfortable because they were very militant in their stance whereas my birth plan was to make it up as I went along. I didn't feel like I could ask any questions about things like epidurals because that was a "no no".
I ended up bursting into tears at my next appointment because I felt like I was missing some sort of womanhood/motherhood gene. She ended up spending an extra 15 minutes with me talking me down.
Logically I know my reaction was silly but when you're hormonal and getting nervous about the big event it's hard to override the illogical part of your brain that makes you think maybe these people are right and you're wrong.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 11:59:26 GMT -5
Shoot, I was secretly overjoyed to see a blue box of Kraft Mac & Cheese in the recycle bin at my "crunchy" friend's house the other day
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 12:02:41 GMT -5
It feels like you can't get away with not being judgemental about it though. If at some point, you make a judgemental call about what is best, then you're also implying that other people's choices are bad. But, the intent isn't to judge.
This is true. And sometimes you can't escape it. We all judge. But the scene yogiii described is more common than I think people want to admit, except that the "odd one out" doesn't always feel comfortable enough to burst into tears and instead just sits there feeling like a shitty mom as the others (probably unintentionally) continue to reinforce her feelings of guilt over something she did, or didn't do. But in the case, Yoggi described, they did what the best thing to do was, stop the conversation when they realized that the subject was distressful to one of their friends. But in the general discussion forum situation, are we suppose to have a list of things that might potentially distress people and never talk about it? That's not practical. This forum wouldn't exist. When I would lurk on parenting forums in the early months of my first pregnancy. Mothers would be miscarrying left and right. This freaked me out and I went to the specific board to read about their experiences. The amount of hate and vitriol that these women expressed about pregnant women scared me. They absolutely hated all women who were pregnant, even if they were trying to get pregnant themselves. They would talk about the pregnant women in their lives and describe how they would flaunt their pregnant swollen bellies to spite them. (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: DO NOT GO ON PARENTING FORUMS, EVER!) Really I had a big pregnant belly, and I wasn't spiting anyone. I also didn't get pregnant in some malicious plot to make infertile women everywhere feel bad about themselves. I understand that they were hurting, and they were lashing out. But they made me feel bad that I was pregnant, as if somehow I didn't deserve it and they were the ones who "deserved" it. And then, I said "bullshit." It's them and their issues. I'm pregnant, and I have a baby who I'm proud of. I shouldn't be made to feel ashamed because of other people's issues. It's the same thing with breastfeeding. It was hard work and a whole lot of personal sacrifice, and I did it. I'm proud of it. I am, but I don't go around saying it. But I don't feel that I have to hide it because of other people's issues. If that was the case, I would like every skinny bitch to gain 60 lbs to make myself feel better! It's very distressing to me to see skinny women, and the fact that people decide to be healthy and exercise is a horrible judgement call on my fat lazy ass.
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Aug 5, 2014 12:04:10 GMT -5
I'm glad I formula fed before the internet had mommy boards. I never even wanted to try to breast feed. Never occurred to me to breast feed. No one in my circle of friends or family had anything to say about it. I just remember asking the pediatrician and him telling either one would work. I worked a factory job and didn't want to spend my breaks and lunch time pumping breast milk.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 12:05:22 GMT -5
Shoot, I was secretly overjoyed to see a blue box of Kraft Mac & Cheese in the recycle bin at my "crunchy" friend's house the other day At least she was recycling!
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 12:09:17 GMT -5
Shoot, I was secretly overjoyed to see a blue box of Kraft Mac & Cheese in the recycle bin at my "crunchy" friend's house the other day At least she was recycling! LOL! Their backyard is a gardening oasis. She has a recycling bin and a compost pile and maybe a tiny bag of actual trash each week and I think even that bothers her. She grows a ton of organic produce, cloth diapers her son, and generally does everything as crunchy as possible. Yet bf didn't work for her and she ended up formula feeding her kid (gasp!) and thankfully she's not said anything directly to me when I let my kid eat hostess cupcakes as a dessert
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yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
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Post by yogiii on Aug 5, 2014 12:10:18 GMT -5
Since you're all so curious, what actually threw her over the edge was the birthing method. I think she just threw in the FF for fun . We're actually all related in some way, so the one who recently gave birth was talking about how she barely had to push (like the other 2 who birthed that way) and was joking around that maybe it was genetic. That's when the other relation lost it. We all know she had a really hard time and I don't think the one joking around about genetics was trying to stir the pot. Honestly she was a new mom and sharing her story that she was still excited about.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,091
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 5, 2014 12:13:44 GMT -5
Honestly she was a new mom and sharing her story that she was still excited about.
I feel bad for everyone that had to be awkward for her too as well as the mom who had a rough time giving birth.
What drives me nuts about pregnancy/childbirth books is the whole damn emphasis on birth plans and " birth experience". It's all over the place, even the commercials for the new birthing centers here in town play into marketing the ideal "birth experience"
Don't get me wrong you should do your research and "plan" as best you can so you can communicate your wants to your spouse and the medical staff.
But it feels like there is so much pressure to give birth the "right" way and if you have a rough go of it that means something is "wrong" with you.
I'd like to see more books emphasize that you cannot 100% control what happens when you go into labor. You're not a bad person and didn't do anything wrong if things don't turn out how you expected them to.
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