HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:04:04 GMT -5
This says otherwise: "And she also makes a big deal about not eating processed foods, but she wants to feed her newborn one of the most processed foods ever? Great logic! Processed food isn't good enough for her, but good enough for her kid?" It's the fucked up logic that insults my intelligence that gets me. She has made comments about me eating twizzlers, because of the crap that's in them. It isn't judgement about the formula feeding. I get it. I breastfed for over a year. And it was inconvenient at times, and I hated pumping, of course, but it was an easy choice for me to make for what I considered the health and well being of my child. If you don't want to breast feed your child, cool beans! But don't give silly reasons or make up excuses that it takes too long to pump,etc. Just formula feed and leave it at that. Same with BF. Just do it, don't go crazy on people that don't.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 10:04:52 GMT -5
That made me think, are there really hordes of bf nazis out there? The term bf nazis is pretty derogatory, but I actually never met one. I breastfed, but never advocated it. I was always discrete about it, and didn't do it uncovered. I always wondered how true is this myth or is it just people being defensive by making up some imagined enemy? I'm curious, because you always hear about them, but never met a real life example of one before, during or after my breastfeeding period. eta big grammar mistake A friend of a friend adopted a newborn baby and she was feeding him formula on a park bench. A complete stranger came up and asked why she wasn't breastfeeding. The mother explained that the child was adopted and the stranger instructed to go to her doctor. Why? Apparently, there are drugs that will make you lactate and allow the adopted baby to breastfeed. After all, not only is it best for baby it is the only way she could truly bond with her new child. Yes, breastfeeding Nazis do exist and the term is most definitely derogatory. Who the F do people think they are? Seriously! Unless I saw someone clearly neglecting/injuring the kid, I would NEVER in my life think about going up to a person saying some shit like that.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Aug 5, 2014 10:06:07 GMT -5
If you aren't paying my bills , you don't get to give me your opinions lol.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:06:43 GMT -5
That made me think, are there really hordes of bf nazis out there? The term bf nazis is pretty derogatory, but I actually never met one. I breastfed, but never advocated it. I was always discrete about it, and didn't do it uncovered. I always wondered how true is this myth or is it just people being defensive by making up some imagined enemy? I'm curious, because you always hear about them, but never met a real life example of one before, during or after my breastfeeding period. eta big grammar mistake A friend of a friend adopted a newborn baby and she was feeding him formula on a park bench. A complete stranger came up and asked why she wasn't breastfeeding. The mother explained that the child was adopted and the stranger instructed to go to her doctor. Why? Apparently, there are drugs that will make you lactate and allow the adopted baby to breastfeed. After all, not only is it best for baby it is the only way she could truly bond with her new child. Yes, breastfeeding Nazis do exist and the term is most definitely derogatory. Wow. Something about glass houses and stones here.... Sometimes I would even bring a bottle of pumped BM with me to the store and I could see people giving me the evil eye. I wanted to yell at them a) Mind your own F'n Buisness! and b) It's BM ahole!!
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:08:18 GMT -5
Thank God you just smiled and nodded and kept your judgements to yourself. I did the best I could breastfeeding DS but he was just too hungry and I wasn't producing enough milk for him. We ended up supplementing even though I wanted so badly for him to be on all breastmilk. Can't tell you how great it was that I didn't have to be the one feeding him all the time, especially since I'm pretty sure I was going through undiagnosed PPD at the time. I stayed out for 12 weeks with him - just me and him, no other adult interaction. I would have LOVED to have some friends to talk to and keep me company, and if I got a chance to hang with some GFs because I didn't have to nurse, I would have done it in a heartbeat. As soon as I was totally done with nursing, it was like a huge raincloud was lifted and I started feeling like myself again. It's very easy to say she should nurse because xyx, but you don't know what she's really going through. My Son was 6lbs 1 oz when he was born and he was jaundiced. They were very concerned that he gain weight. I tried breastfeeding and I met with a lactation consultant but it was not working out. I was advised to stop breastfeeding and give him formula. When I had my 2nd child my Mother advised me not to attempt breastfeeding b/c she thought I had PPD pretty bad with my oldest and she felt that if I tried again and failed it would be very hard on me. There was a lot of guilt laid on Mothers about breastfeeding in the 90's - it is probably 10 times worse now. Sorry but Breastfeeding is not right for everyone and you are not better than me just b/c you managed to breastfeed successfully. Get off your F'in high horse. My kids are 21 and 17 and they are very healthy teens/young adults. They did not suffer a lifetime of damage b/c they were bottle fed. Whoa!! I don't care whether anyone formula feeds. And I don't care if my SIL formula feeds or not. The issue is why she felt the need to corner me and talk to me about why she wants to formula feed for 45 minutes while I sat in silence nodding. That was the rant! I think that you might be doing some projection here.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 10:10:55 GMT -5
It's the fucked up logic that insults my intelligence that gets me. She has made comments about me eating twizzlers, because of the crap that's in them. It isn't judgement about the formula feeding. I get it. I breastfed for over a year. And it was inconvenient at times, and I hated pumping, of course, but it was an easy choice for me to make for what I considered the health and well being of my child. If you don't want to breast feed your child, cool beans! But don't give silly reasons or make up excuses that it takes too long to pump,etc. Just formula feed and leave it at that. Same with BF. Just do it, don't go crazy on people that don't. ok - yeah, I get that part. Although the processing for formula is not comparable to the processing for junk food/candy.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:11:04 GMT -5
A friend of a friend adopted a newborn baby and she was feeding him formula on a park bench. A complete stranger came up and asked why she wasn't breastfeeding. The mother explained that the child was adopted and the stranger instructed to go to her doctor. Why? Apparently, there are drugs that will make you lactate and allow the adopted baby to breastfeed. After all, not only is it best for baby it is the only way she could truly bond with her new child. Yes, breastfeeding Nazis do exist and the term is most definitely derogatory. Wow. Something about glass houses and stones here.... Sometimes I would even bring a bottle of pumped BM with me to the store and I could see people giving me the evil eye. I wanted to yell at them a) Mind your own F'n Buisness! and b) It's BM ahole!! yeah, but that's the thing, why do you even have to justify that it's breastmilk! You shouldn't have to. It's like why was my SIL trying to spend all this time justifying it to me? Why is that necessary? that's my point.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:12:59 GMT -5
The benefits of breastfeeding are very, very slight for your average baby. Unlike breastmilk formula comes with gov't mandated ratios of goodies like vitamins. I'm fairly sure that my steady diet of cookies and donuts (mandated by health professionals while I was pregnant) didn't produce kale like breastmilk. I wasn't BF and I turned out ok. I was extremely committed to BF though because of the evidence that suggests BF decreases allergies and particularly food allergies in babies. I have serious plant, animal and food allergiesand would do anything to try to prevent my child from lugging around Epipens like I did when I was a kid. Maybe it's correlation and not causation, I think the jury is still out. I still was extremely motivated based on my own health issues. onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1034/j.1398-9995.2003.00264.x/fullAnd, while it's a single data point, as far as I can tell, my kid doesn't have any allergies, so I am relieved. Now, it may all be luck or whatever, but I think you can at least make an argument there are some benefits of BF for some populations. It makes me sad that this is such a war between mommies. Like you don't have enough problems when you're hemorrhaging out of your nether regions, haven't slept in a month, and you still look 6 months pregnant. People should just do what is right for them and their circumstances.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 10:13:32 GMT -5
Wow. Something about glass houses and stones here.... Sometimes I would even bring a bottle of pumped BM with me to the store and I could see people giving me the evil eye. I wanted to yell at them a) Mind your own F'n Buisness! and b) It's BM ahole!! yeah, but that's the thing, why do you even have to justify that it's breastmilk! You shouldn't have to. It's like why was my SIL trying to spend all this time justifying it to me? Why is that necessary? that's my point. I agree with this 100%. We as women are very hard on one another and even harder on ourselves.... and for what? For some sense of smug superiority that we get for thinking "well, at least I'm not as bad as she is"? It's kind of sad.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:14:24 GMT -5
That bit there comes out really judgmental. Even if breastfeeding is easy it doesn't mean you have to do it. Probably, but I did say that it was judgemental side! But it does sound hypocritical to my ears when you won't put certain foods in your mouth because it's not 1)organic and 2)processed 3)locally sourced, but you don't mind when your kid eats food that is not organic, processed and definatley not locally sourced!
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Aug 5, 2014 10:15:02 GMT -5
The benefits of breastfeeding are very, very slight for your average baby. Unlike breastmilk formula comes with gov't mandated ratios of goodies like vitamins. I'm fairly sure that my steady diet of cookies and donuts (mandated by health professionals while I was pregnant) didn't produce kale like breastmilk. It makes me sad that this is such a war between mommies. Like you don't have enough problems when you're hemorrhaging out of your nether regions, haven't slept in a month, and you still look 6 months pregnant. People should just do what is right for them and their circumstances. That is exactly the reason we NEED to judge new moms. They are not with it enough to always do what is right. They may be taking the easy way out just because they are tired, rather than doing what is best for their baby. It is our duty as the general population to ensure that new moms don't take the easy way out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 10:15:42 GMT -5
The benefits of breastfeeding are very, very slight for your average baby. Unlike breastmilk formula comes with gov't mandated ratios of goodies like vitamins. I'm fairly sure that my steady diet of cookies and donuts (mandated by health professionals while I was pregnant) didn't produce kale like breastmilk. I wasn't BF and I turned out ok. I was extremely committed to BF though because of the evidence that suggests BF decreases allergies and particularly food allergies in babies. I have serious plant, animal and food allergiesand would do anything to try to prevent my child from lugging around Epipens like I did when I was a kid. Maybe it's correlation and not causation, I think the jury is still out. I still was extremely motivated based on my own health issues. And, while it's a single data point, as far as I can tell, my kid doesn't have any allergies, so I am relieved. Now, it may all be luck or whatever, but I think you can at least make an argument there are some benefits of BF for some populations. It makes me sad that this is such a war between mommies. Like you don't have enough problems when you're hemorrhaging out of your nether regions, haven't slept in a month, and you still look 6 months pregnant. People should just do what is right for them and their circumstances. I wasn't even formula fed! My mom was way to cheap for that! She made some concoction out of Karyo syrup and cow's milk. Look how awesome I turned out.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:16:44 GMT -5
That bit there comes out really judgmental. Even if breastfeeding is easy it doesn't mean you have to do it. Probably, but I did say that it was judgemental side! But it does sound hypocritical to my ears when you won't put certain foods in your mouth because it's not 1)organic and 2)processed 3)locally sourced, but you don't mind when your kid eats food that is not organic, processed and definatley not locally sourced! Let's lynch mother's who are raising their babies as vegan or vegetarian instead!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:17:15 GMT -5
It makes me sad that this is such a war between mommies. Like you don't have enough problems when you're hemorrhaging out of your nether regions, haven't slept in a month, and you still look 6 months pregnant. People should just do what is right for them and their circumstances. That is exactly the reason we NEED to judge new moms. They are not with it enough to always do what is right. They may be taking the easy way out just because they are tired, rather than doing what is best for their baby. It is our duty as the general population to ensure that new moms don't take the easy way out. I guess my kid got the easy way out since I had a C-section. I'm such a failure at life.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Aug 5, 2014 10:17:31 GMT -5
I think both sides feel like the other side is judging them. I saw on facebook the other day that some lady was given a card that basically said "Thank you for BF in public and raising awareness" or something like that.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 5, 2014 10:18:49 GMT -5
I think there are too but I also tend to think they are incredibly overstated by bf'ing advocates. I combo fed DS until 15 months and I like to give my formula feeding friends shit because he's not demonstrably smarter than their kids. Absolutely. I laugh when I see studies that say that BF kids have like 3 more IQ points on average than non-BF kids. It's like - hey, what are the error bars on those points? LOL. And again, it's correlation, not causation. I'm smart enough with being BF. I'm pretty sure plenty of other people will be, too.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:19:05 GMT -5
Probably, but I did say that it was judgemental side! But it does sound hypocritical to my ears when you won't put certain foods in your mouth because it's not 1)organic and 2)processed 3)locally sourced, but you don't mind when your kid eats food that is not organic, processed and definatley not locally sourced! Let's lynch mother's who are raising their babies as vegan or vegetarian instead! Don't get me started on the vegan and vegetarian nazis!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 10:20:26 GMT -5
I think there are too but I also tend to think they are incredibly overstated by bf'ing advocates. I combo fed DS until 15 months and I like to give my formula feeding friends shit because he's not demonstrably smarter than their kids. You don't know it didn't help. Maybe he would have been really stupid otherwise.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 5, 2014 10:21:41 GMT -5
This is a rant about my SIL. She spent 45 minutes trying to justify why she wants to formula feed her baby to me. As if I cared!!! She said that it was inconvenient because she wanted to go out with her friends, and she didn't want to take her baby with her because her boyfriend didn't want to come along because it was her friends. But if she was formula feeding, she would be able to leave her baby with her boyfriend. And she can't pump enough milk in a reasonable amount of time to make a bottle. I don't care if other people formula feed or breast feed. I did the best thing for my children by breastfeeding, because I did the research and it was a choice that I made (along with my husband)! But why is it that every time that someone founds out that I breast fed and they don't want to or didn't breastfeed spend hours trying to justify their choice to me!!! Like I care! And the entire time, all I'm doing is nodding my head WITHOUT saying anything! But that judgemental side of me couldn't help but fucking wonder how the hell they were going to find money to formula feed their baby? Seriously, she's on maternity leave, she has nothing else to do but feed the baby and take care of it. And it's not like it's hard for her. She's doing quite fine with it! The baby is strong and healthy and fat. Why mess with a good thing? Oh right, because you want to hang out with your friends! And she also makes a big deal about not eating processed foods, but she wants to feed her newborn one of the most processed foods ever? Great logic! Processed food isn't good enough for her, but good enough for her kid?Sorry, I had to let it out. I was biting my tongue so hard during the entire conversation that I figuratively needed stitches. Rant over! nope...not judgmental at all
We had several breastfeeding Nazis on a message board I belonged to when my kids were born. Down right nasty to the women who couldn't or didn't want to breastfeed. I dont' get the hate. I was formula fed all that "processed" formula and I'm fine. My kids got both breastmilk and formula and they are fine. I know other kids that only had breastmilk and they are fine.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:23:08 GMT -5
Well, breastmilk is definitely locally sourced. It's also full of all sorts of shit that's bad for your kid if you consider the environmental contaminants that we pick up living. Also, some people produce skim and others full fat. HA! then you did your kids a double disservice by formula feeding and breastfeeding!!!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Aug 5, 2014 10:25:46 GMT -5
I bottle fed one, breastfed the other, and half n half the third. Soo obviously I like one kid better than the other!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 5, 2014 10:26:20 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure I was producing skim at home. When I had to feed DS in the NICU, he got at least 2% and a lot of it. I guess I should have surrounded myself with sick babies while I was nursing....
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 5, 2014 10:27:36 GMT -5
I am fairly and openly judgmental when it comes to BFing/FFing and I am OK with that.
However, the person I judged the most was me.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:28:06 GMT -5
I bottle fed one, breastfed the other, and half n half the third. Soo obviously I like one kid better than the other! What about the third kid? Where does he stand?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 5, 2014 10:30:07 GMT -5
yeah, but that's the thing, why do you even have to justify that it's breastmilk! You shouldn't have to. It's like why was my SIL trying to spend all this time justifying it to me? Why is that necessary? that's my point. Because she hasn't learned that you have to grow a damn thick skin as a parent. Frankly, it's worse than anything I've ever encountered getting "picked on" in school growing up. Or maybe she wants to feel understood? Everybody and their freaking uncle feels in necessary to comment to other folks about kids, and stick their nose in where it's not wanted. I even came home from work yesterday and reported to my husband that I was in awe of one of my co-workers. She can get like 12oz from one pumping session. It wasn't even like a hospital grade pump. It was a normal pump that fit in a large tote sized bag. My milk never really came in for my first. Pumping after trying feed the child right at my breast, then with a SNS, yielded 2-3 oz a day with a hospital grade pump. And I have to say, it was hands down one of the worst experiences of my life. No one tells your milk may not come in. No one tells you that you can bond with your baby even if you formula feed. No one tells you what to do when you have a sleepy kid that won't eat. OR, then the nurses YELL at you because your kids' temp drops, because you are trying to do everything to keep the child awake to feed and it turns out he's been naked for a little to long.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 5, 2014 10:34:17 GMT -5
yeah, but that's the thing, why do you even have to justify that it's breastmilk! You shouldn't have to. It's like why was my SIL trying to spend all this time justifying it to me? Why is that necessary? that's my point. Because she hasn't learned that you have to grow a damn thick skin as a parent. Frankly, it's worse than anything I've ever encountered getting "picked on" in school growing up. Or maybe she wants to feel understood? Everybody and their freaking uncle feels in necessary to comment to other folks about kids, and stick their nose in where it's not wanted. I even came home from work yesterday and reported to my husband that I was in awe of one of my co-workers. She can get like 12oz from one pumping session. It wasn't even like a hospital grade pump. It was a normal pump that fit in a large tote sized bag. My milk never really came in for my first. Pumping after feeding yielded 2-3 oz a day with a hospital grade pump. It's funny. I must live in a parallel universe. I never got that, and I never got comments about my parenting ever. I'm the only judgemental person I know (except for you guys, but you guys are internet people), and even though I'm judgemental, I always keep my mouth shut. It's not that I don't believe all the comments, but I just never personally experienced it. So it just blows my mind that people make unsolicited comments like that.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 10:34:25 GMT -5
Do people who FF feel the need to get defensive about it sometimes, because of the BFing nazis out there? I think my best friend is kind of defensive about FFing her baby, even though to my knowledge she doesn't have people in her life criticizing her for it. Yes... This thread is a prime example. Even the ones who "totally don't judge" kinda do.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 5, 2014 10:35:24 GMT -5
I always wondered how true is this myth or is it just people being defensive by making up some imagined enemy? I'm curious, because you always hear about them, but never met a real life example of one before, during or after my breastfeeding period.
You breastfed. The Nazis had nothing to say to you aside from "Go girl!"
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 5, 2014 10:39:10 GMT -5
Well, count yourself lucky. I even got it from my mom. Everything I did was judged. I got a huge missive once because she didn't approve of my potty training choices for my kids. I think, for the most part, people have gotten extremely narrow minded. It's really too bad, because I think eventually everyone being so narrowminded is going to hurt society more than it already is.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Aug 5, 2014 10:40:26 GMT -5
The benefits of breastfeeding are very, very slight for your average baby. Unlike breastmilk formula comes with gov't mandated ratios of goodies like vitamins. I'm fairly sure that my steady diet of cookies and donuts (mandated by health professionals while I was pregnant) didn't produce kale like breastmilk. I wasn't BF and I turned out ok. I was extremely committed to BF though because of the evidence that suggests BF decreases allergies and particularly food allergies in babies. I have serious plant, animal and food allergiesand would do anything to try to prevent my child from lugging around Epipens like I did when I was a kid. Maybe it's correlation and not causation, I think the jury is still out. I still was extremely motivated based on my own health issues. onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1034/j.1398-9995.2003.00264.x/fullAnd, while it's a single data point, as far as I can tell, my kid doesn't have any allergies, so I am relieved. Now, it may all be luck or whatever, but I think you can at least make an argument there are some benefits of BF for some populations. It makes me sad that this is such a war between mommies. Like you don't have enough problems when you're hemorrhaging out of your nether regions, haven't slept in a month, and you still look 6 months pregnant. Peopleies should just do what is right for them and their circumstances. And me and my siblings are the alternate data point. We are some of the few people that have allergies to absolutely NOTHING. All of us were formula fed. When I was in the hospital, when I was asked about allergies and said 'none', I got some really strange looks. No to latex, no to antibiotics, no to any food product, none. Actually, there is stronger biological plausibility that the earlier that you encounter allergens, the more likely you are to develop tolerance and react less to them. So my best guess would be that new mothers who are breastfeeding avoiding certain foods is probably working against avoiding allergies.
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