Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2014 8:26:14 GMT -5
I don't wear make-up, I don't wear jewelry, I rarely wear skirts. I practice the same martial art my husband does, and we have similar hobbies otherwise. I get my ass up and do yard work and home maintenance at his side, and only "let" him do the heavy lifting alone when his upper body strength is a clear advantage. I know more about comic books than he does, and that's OK, because he knows more Monty Python skits by heart than I do. We both play video games(well, we did before we had a child...) and table top role-playing games, and enjoy science fiction and action movies. I proposed marriage to him, I kept my last name. I am not manly. My husband has nicer underwear than I do (men's underwear, but not the boxers and briefs that come in six packs), he gets his hair trimmed more often, he changes diapers, vacuums, soothes our son when he's fussy, cooks, cleans, has a less volatile temper and more nurturing nature than I do. He has more shoes than I do. He has more clothes than I do. He has a lower tolerance for a messy house than I do. He is not womanly. I also do not think there is anything wrong with wanting "traditional" roles in a relationship. There is something wrong with dismissing people who don't, just as there is in dismissing people who do. There is something wrong with saying that men who are SAHPs are unmanly or a woman who prefers pantsuits to skirts is unwomanly. It's also so, so easy to have baggage about this crap, probably because there's all sorts of "RIGHT WAY TO BE" that is drummed into our heads, and it's different every time someone else is doing the drumming. My husband is the breadwinner, because he has higher earning potential. He would likely be the one defending the family physically, because he is the only black belt in the family (so far ). I work part time and am the primary caregiver for our son. Hard to swallow for me, because I reject traditional gender roles...but the important part is that I reject doing things simply because they are traditional. I am all about doing the thing that works best for all parties involved. Defensive posts like this I don't get. Again, we were asked an opinion and we all gave one. My opinion doesn't mean that I am dismissive of anyone else that is different. It means that I would be attracted to guys that some of you wouldn't be. It means that a guy that would expect me to do what I consider "mans work" wouldn't be attracted to me. so what is 'man's work'? mowing the lawn? changing a lightbulb? washing the car? fixing the faucet?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 20, 2014 8:28:02 GMT -5
Heavy lifting. I am not going to carry in heavy stuff if DH or my sons are handy. It isn't that I can't, I just don't want too.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2014 8:31:44 GMT -5
Heavy lifting. I am not going to carry in heavy stuff if DH or my sons are handy. It isn't that I can't, I just don't want too. so what happens when they're not around - do you just leave things and wait for them or do you do it yourself?
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Jul 20, 2014 8:35:35 GMT -5
OMG, is there a "state" for men? Where is it? I have been on the prowl for one and if they are all holed up in one state I want to know where it is. Sounds like good pickin' maybe. Ok back to the serious discussion I was just trolling New Topics..... Alaska. Just take a trip out there and check it out.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 20, 2014 8:41:40 GMT -5
Defensive posts like this I don't get. Again, we were asked an opinion and we all gave one. My opinion doesn't mean that I am dismissive of anyone else that is different. It means that I would be attracted to guys that some of you wouldn't be. It means that a guy that would expect me to do what I consider "mans work" wouldn't be attracted to me. so what is 'man's work'? mowing the lawn? changing a lightbulb? washing the car? fixing the faucet? You are single...you have no choice but to do what I can have my husband do for me. Don't be a hater ;-)
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 20, 2014 8:44:39 GMT -5
Heavy lifting. I am not going to carry in heavy stuff if DH or my sons are handy. It isn't that I can't, I just don't want too. so what happens when they're not around - do you just leave things and wait for them or do you do it yourself? Or what happens when they "just don't want to" carry in heavy stuff? What tasks are they able to opt out of because they "just don't want to"? Dishes? Cleaning?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 8:46:42 GMT -5
Don't ask me. I now live in an area where it seems the goal of most women is to look more manly than the man they are with. I'm sorry but if I can't tell if you're a gay couple or a man and a woman out together, ewww.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 20, 2014 8:55:47 GMT -5
Is a woman a real woman if she can't cook an amazing five course meal and put on a condom with her mouth? FWIW, this seems like a unfair comparison. Lilly just said he had to know 25 uses of duct tape, which can be found in some books like 100 uses for duct tape.
You are actually proposing two different exhibited skills, not just knowledge thereof.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 20, 2014 8:56:24 GMT -5
I don't wear make-up, I don't wear jewelry, I rarely wear skirts. I practice the same martial art my husband does, and we have similar hobbies otherwise. I get my ass up and do yard work and home maintenance at his side, and only "let" him do the heavy lifting alone when his upper body strength is a clear advantage. I know more about comic books than he does, and that's OK, because he knows more Monty Python skits by heart than I do. We both play video games(well, we did before we had a child...) and table top role-playing games, and enjoy science fiction and action movies. I proposed marriage to him, I kept my last name. I am not manly. My husband has nicer underwear than I do (men's underwear, but not the boxers and briefs that come in six packs), he gets his hair trimmed more often, he changes diapers, vacuums, soothes our son when he's fussy, cooks, cleans, has a less volatile temper and more nurturing nature than I do. He has more shoes than I do. He has more clothes than I do. He has a lower tolerance for a messy house than I do. He is not womanly. I also do not think there is anything wrong with wanting "traditional" roles in a relationship. There is something wrong with dismissing people who don't, just as there is in dismissing people who do. There is something wrong with saying that men who are SAHPs are unmanly or a woman who prefers pantsuits to skirts is unwomanly. It's also so, so easy to have baggage about this crap, probably because there's all sorts of "RIGHT WAY TO BE" that is drummed into our heads, and it's different every time someone else is doing the drumming. My husband is the breadwinner, because he has higher earning potential. He would likely be the one defending the family physically, because he is the only black belt in the family (so far ). I work part time and am the primary caregiver for our son. Hard to swallow for me, because I reject traditional gender roles...but the important part is that I reject doing things simply because they are traditional. I am all about doing the thing that works best for all parties involved. Defensive posts like this I don't get. Again, we were asked an opinion and we all gave one. My opinion doesn't mean that I am dismissive of anyone else that is different. It means that I would be attracted to guys that some of you wouldn't be. It means that a guy that would expect me to do what I consider "mans work" wouldn't be attracted to me. What are you reading here that is defensive? I see the opposite. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 20, 2014 9:00:53 GMT -5
Defensive posts like this I don't get. Again, we were asked an opinion and we all gave one. My opinion doesn't mean that I am dismissive of anyone else that is different. It means that I would be attracted to guys that some of you wouldn't be. It means that a guy that would expect me to do what I consider "mans work" wouldn't be attracted to me. What are you reading here that is defensive? I see the opposite. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards That is the problem with reading posts....everyone can interpret intent differently.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 20, 2014 9:05:35 GMT -5
Don't ask me. I now live in an area where it seems the goal of most women is to look more manly than the man they are with. I'm sorry but if I can't tell if you're a gay couple or a man and a woman out together, ewww. Sounds like you have strong preferences on how people should dress.
Why care? What does it matter? I have a female friend who does not have a feminine body type. You might eww at their appearance, but since she's built with a very small chest (cup-size A) and wider at the top than the bottom, she wouldn't look that great in a dress anyway. She feels her body-type and face does not lend itself to looking feminine so she wears little make-up and occasionally very small earrings.
You might perceive incorrectly she is trying to look manly. Not the reality at all.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 20, 2014 9:07:55 GMT -5
so what happens when they're not around - do you just leave things and wait for them or do you do it yourself? Or what happens when they "just don't want to" carry in heavy stuff? What tasks are they able to opt out of because they "just don't want to"? Dishes? Cleaning? My husband isn't an ass...he would never leave me struggling because he didn't want to carry in heavy stuff.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 9:09:30 GMT -5
Up to her. But I don't want anyone wondering whether I'm a man or a woman. I don't have much of a chest either and I have had short hair. You still know I'm a woman.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 9:11:32 GMT -5
DF isn't an ass either but he can't carry more than ten pounds now and may not ever be able to. So be it. I'm hiring some guys today to move stuff from attic to basement. That's what young people are for. They happen to be guys but if they happened to be women, okay. Got them from a neighbor who is also having them move furniture for her today and she has a husband who can carry but she doesn't want him to.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 20, 2014 9:17:16 GMT -5
Up to her. But I don't want anyone wondering whether I'm a man or a woman. I don't have much of a chest either and I have had short hair. You still know I'm a woman. I know she's a woman, but since she's married does it really matter?
All I was saying, is for some women its more of a genetic issue than anything else. I'm not big into the tradtitional feminine look, however, I prefer my long hair, and if you miss my big generous chest you just aren't paying attention. Genetically, I'm blessed or cursed by the chest thing so I "look like a woman" unless I do something about that.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 20, 2014 9:17:57 GMT -5
Or what happens when they "just don't want to" carry in heavy stuff? What tasks are they able to opt out of because they "just don't want to"? Dishes? Cleaning? My husband isn't an ass...he would never leave me struggling because he didn't want to carry in heavy stuff. The post that I was responding to indicates full ability to do the carrying. It was simply an "I don't want to do it." The situation changes when it is a matter of inability or incompetence.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 9:19:53 GMT -5
You can look like a woman without long hair and a big chest. I saw a lot of women last night with short hair. They looked liked women. You could tell they were. Why would you want someone to wonder what you actually were? Is there some game or some prize involved? Is this a new fashion statement? I don't get it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 20, 2014 9:23:34 GMT -5
DF isn't an ass either but he can't carry more than ten pounds now and may not ever be able to. So be it. I'm hiring some guys today to move stuff from attic to basement. That's what young people are for. They happen to be guys but if they happened to be women, okay. Got them from a neighbor who is also having them move furniture for her today and she has a husband who can carry but she doesn't want him to. My husband doesn't have medical issues and is a weight lifter...nhe has no limitations. If he refused to carry something heavy for me it would be for no other reason but to be an ass
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 20, 2014 9:25:28 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2014 9:42:04 GMT -5
so what is 'man's work'? mowing the lawn? changing a lightbulb? washing the car? fixing the faucet? You are single...you have no choice but to do what I can have my husband do for me. Don't be a hater ;-) why would I be a hater knowing I'm perfectly capable of doing a whole bunch of things that are 'man's work' and 'women's work' and can survive perfectly fine on my own without a man.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 20, 2014 9:47:32 GMT -5
You can look like a woman without long hair and a big chest. I saw a lot of women last night with short hair. They looked liked women. You could tell they were. Why would you want someone to wonder what you actually were? Is there some game or some prize involved? Is this a new fashion statement? I don't get it. I don't think you are understanding my point at all.
Some women are blessed with feminine bodies and/or faces. Some are not. It is easier to look feminine if you start with a physical canvas that is considered feminine. Many slight women with delicate faces and small chests are part of the feminine ideal. Bigger broad shouldered women with average to strong faces are not.
You don't get it because you think women should advertise as women. I know I am a woman, so I don't have a big need for you to know or not know. In my *specific* case, you'd be blind to miss that I am, just because of my genetics.
I am telling you some women have builds and faces that do not look feminine at all. Some choose to really try to feminize their appearance because of it and some do not. Its not a fashion statement in some people's case. Others perhaps it might be. IDK who you are complaining about, but I'm not big into gender typing so to me its something I don't care about that much. Yes occasionally I see guys with long hair and more feminine builds that I might still be puzzled if they are male when I see them close range in the front.
I don't get why its more important women and men look a certain way so you feel you can tell if they are male or female versus their right and desire to dress the way they are doing.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jul 20, 2014 9:53:05 GMT -5
I used to be strong and want to prove I could do hard things, now not so much. I will lift up to 50lbs if it is easy like a bag of something to no more than waist high but otherwise I want help. This week I bought a 25lb of mortar and a 25lb bag of grout and tried to lift both at the same time from the check out counter to the top of the shopping cart. The cart rolled and an employee asked if I needed help while another employee stopped the cart from rolling and helped me load them. I lift 50lb bags of food like rice or beans at my volunteer job but after about 4-5 I stop doing it and leave it for younger stronger people. I don't want to lift odd shaped heavy things that are awkward like furniture and will ask for help if anyone is around. My problem today is nails and screws that won't go in for me. I am building a fish cleaning station and have the wood all cut and am staining it but the screws just won't go in, I drilled little holes for them and use a drill but I don't seem to be able to do it. I nailed it in place so it will hold still for me but bent way too many nails to get a couple to work. I need to get this done so I can put tiles on it. When ISO comes to get it I might have to have another man help him load it, it is heavy. I am a woman I have a right to whimp out but a man would need to claim bad back or something to not be expected to lift more than me. I hire a guy to do stuff I don't want to do around the house. I might have him put screws in for me, but I really wanted the project to be all mine so will keep trying today, maybe drill the holes bigger.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 20, 2014 9:54:03 GMT -5
You can look like a woman without long hair and a big chest. I saw a lot of women last night with short hair. They looked liked women. You could tell they were. Why would you want someone to wonder what you actually were? Is there some game or some prize involved? Is this a new fashion statement? I don't get it. I don't think you are understanding my point at all.
Some women are blessed with feminine bodies and/or faces. Some are not. It is easier to look feminine if you start with a physical canvas that is considered feminine. Many slight women with delicate faces and small chests are part of the feminine ideal. Bigger broad shouldered women with average to strong faces are not.
You don't get it because you think women should advertise as women. I know I am a woman, so I don't have a big need for you to know or not know. In my *specific* case, you'd be blind to miss that I am, just because of my genetics.
I am telling you some women have builds and faces that do not look feminine at all. Some choose to really try to feminize their appearance because of it and some do not. Its not a fashion statement in some people's case. Others perhaps it might be. IDK who you are complaining about, but I'm not big into gender typing so to me its something I don't care about that much. Yes occasionally I see guys with long hair and more feminine builds that I might still be puzzled if they are male when I see them close range in the front.
I don't get why its more important women and men look a certain way so you feel you can tell if they are male or female versus their right and desire to dress the way they are doing.
I can't answer for zib but I know I don't care how women dress. It just confuses the heck out of me that a woman would want to look like a man. One of the women that works for me is a butchy lesbian. She wears men's clothing and has a very short haircut. I don't understand why she wants to look like a man but she has every right to dress however she wants. She is a very nice person and a great employee but I will never understand a female wearing men's dress shoes...
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 9:54:48 GMT -5
Ugh, who would want to?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2014 10:03:08 GMT -5
... If someone broke into our home and he was here, he wouldn't cower behind me and expect me to fight off the intruders. As a man, that is his job not mine . .... How about standing side by side? Maybe DH and I are old school, but there would be no way in hell he'd permit me to stand beside him, in any such related situation, even though I am a better shot that he is.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 20, 2014 10:04:28 GMT -5
How about standing side by side? Maybe DH and I are old school, but there would be no way in hell he'd permit me to stand beside him, in any such related situation, even though I am a better shot that he is. so he would rather sacrifice the two of you then admit that you are better than him. what a man.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 10:06:09 GMT -5
DF has no issues with me being a better shot. He brags about it. Of course as I'm shooting, I will probably be peeing on the floor at the same time. Always hated that bedroom carpet anyway.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 20, 2014 10:08:39 GMT -5
I don't understand it but I respect her right to dress in a way that makes her happy.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 20, 2014 10:09:32 GMT -5
Women's shoes are so much cuter.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jul 20, 2014 10:13:34 GMT -5
Lesbian dress is a different topic altogether. I had a cashier the other day who was probably a lesbian. She was sporting a haircut that I sometimes see on guys with the top half longer and the lower half of the head shaved close. I admit, I did a triple take for a minute.
My friend doesn't wear men's clothes, but women's simple tops and pants don't necessarily scream feminine to some folks. Even though her body-type is somewhere between apple and inverted pear, she has small feet. I suppose if you look at her shoes it would be obvious she's not a man. Her short hair is normal to thin, and from a distance I could see Zib making bad assumptions about her which is why I posted.
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