billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 19, 2014 8:20:42 GMT -5
So are you saying men have more stress, or men just handle their stress poorly, which leads to a higher divorce rate? Men have been trained to internalize emotion which is a danger when they experience stress.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 8:29:23 GMT -5
Deleted- unclear mush o' thoughts I'm stealing this. Please forgive me for not giving you credit when I use it here. I may need to use it soon. Lol, go for it. zibazinski, you may want to check into the draft stuff. My understanding is that registering is a legal requirement, and failure to do so can be punishable by a large fine, jail time, and inability to access student aid or obtain federal jobs or driver's licenses in some states. www.sss.gov/FSbenefits.htmI do think that setup is onerous for only one gender, and would support both genders being called for national service or neither.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jul 19, 2014 8:31:37 GMT -5
DS got a notice to register and he did, he is 22 now and got the notice a few months before his 18th birthday.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2014 8:38:46 GMT -5
Well, maybe they did at school or something. Don't know. But I totally agree with draft for all and even some kind of forced servitude. No one excluded for any reason other than severe physical and mental issues. You decide to have a baby in HS? Too bad so sad, you're still going into the military and serving as well as learning a job skill and different way of life. Taking kids away from their ghetto and training them is probably the best thing we can do for the future of this country. You decide to commit a crime as a minor? Well, your ass sits in jail until you are 18, then you serve a different sentence. Plus, if the military decides to plunk your ass in N Dakota and you're going to work there, that's the way it is. You don't get to sit in Detroit and collect anymore because you don't want to work. No one is excluded, not even rich kids. Two years minimum. Then precious angels can "find themselves." Helicopter moms will freak out. That's an added bonus.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 19, 2014 8:44:01 GMT -5
No, and neither did DF or my ex. Weird. But they just missed Vietnam and DS and his friends never have. I don't understand how people don't know that they have to register for selective service - especially since they send you a reminder. I thought that you couldn't qualify for any federal student loan aid unless you had registered? At least that's what I remember from when my high school boyfriend did it...
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2014 8:46:15 GMT -5
My kids didnt get loans.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 8:47:44 GMT -5
I don't understand how people don't know that they have to register for selective service - especially since they send you a reminder. I thought that you couldn't qualify for any federal student loan aid unless you had registered? At least that's what I remember from when my high school boyfriend did it... you can't because DS got a notice about it and had to send in something to prove he registered....and that was from either the school he's registered at or FAFSA before they would finish processing, he hasn't started college yet.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 19, 2014 8:49:52 GMT -5
... draft for all ... No one excluded for any reason other than severe physical and mental issues. ... learning a job skill ... This is one of those things that might sound great but if you look at what it will cost you as a taxpayer, you just might reconsider.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Jul 19, 2014 8:56:10 GMT -5
I've had great male and female role models in my life. My dad cooks, does chores around the house, my mom does yard work, etc. When I was younger, I got to pick from a list of chores which ones I wanted. It was always a mix. Help dad mulch the flower beds, do the dishes, etc. No one, friends, neighbors, other family, batted an eye.<br><br>My DH is semi-retired and works part time from home. He does 90% of the chores. He does laundry, cooks, grocery shops. Partly he does it because he's home so he thinks he should. Partly he does it so when I get home from my full time job we can spend our time doing fun things instead of chores. Whatever his reason, I am incredibly grateful. BUT, the amount of comments we get from people about it is amazing. People my age (mid-30s) people his age (mid-50s) all seem amazed that I "let" him take care of things like that. We also get comments about how he "let's" me be the breadwinner. <img text=" " alt=" " src="http://images.proboards.com/new/rolleyes.gif"> It's just how our life has worked out and it works for us. We like it that way, so the fact that society still thinks our marriage should be more divided on gender roles boggles my mind. And, I work in a women-heavy industry, and there are a lot of women making these comments. <br><br>I freely admit I never want to learn how to fix a toilet or anything else gross and dirty like that. I will pay to have it done. But it does't make me think less of my husband for feeling the same way. But it's hard to go through life hearing 2 completely different messages about how you should be living your life. Especially when those messages tend to be completely at odds with one another.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 19, 2014 8:58:45 GMT -5
I guess I like the old-fashioned kind of guy. I expect a man to be able to fix things, protect the family and earn a good salary. I am appalled that any man would want his wife/daughter shipped off to war. I could never be with a guy who would allow me to financially support him (excluding any medical conditions).
For me, I think men are changing but not for the better. The day my husband ever thought our daughters should have to go to war just because he had to sign up for the draft would be the day I lost all respect for him. The day my husband ever thought he should quit work and let me support him would be the day I packed my bags and left. I am fierce in a business setting but in my personal life I want a man who acts like a man and treats me like a woman.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2014 9:01:06 GMT -5
... draft for all ... No one excluded for any reason other than severe physical and mental issues. ... learning a job skill ... This is one of those things that might sound great but if you look at what it will cost you as a taxpayer, you just might reconsider. The money the govt pisses away on welfare, incarceration, and lack of future for many young people is worth the cost.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 9:02:19 GMT -5
I guess I like the old-fashioned kind of guy. I expect a man to be able to fix things, protect the family and earn a good salary. I am appalled that any man would want his wife/daughter shipped off to war. I could never be with a guy who would allow me to financially support him (excluding any medical conditions). For me, I think men are changing but not for the better. The day my husband ever thought our daughters should have to go to war just because he had to sign up for the draft would be the day I lost all respect for him. The day my husband ever thought he should quit work and let me support him would be the day I packed my bags and left. I am fierce in a business setting but in my personal life I want a man who acts like a man and treats me like a woman. well then you should be home cooking and cleaning and having a man support you.....you only want gender equality when it benefits you.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 19, 2014 9:05:49 GMT -5
I guess I like the old-fashioned kind of guy. I expect a man to be able to fix things, protect the family and earn a good salary. I am appalled that any man would want his wife/daughter shipped off to war. I could never be with a guy who would allow me to financially support him (excluding any medical conditions). For me, I think men are changing but not for the better. The day my husband ever thought our daughters should have to go to war just because he had to sign up for the draft would be the day I lost all respect for him. The day my husband ever thought he should quit work and let me support him would be the day I packed my bags and left. I am fierce in a business setting but in my personal life I want a man who acts like a man and treats me like a woman. well then you should be home cooking and cleaning and having a man support you.....you only want gender equality when it benefits you. I don't work because of gender equality. I work because any woman who puts her financial security in the hands of someone else is taking a huge risk. I work because my mom was that woman who relied on my dad for financial security and we wound up in government housing when the marriage tanked. I don't work because I suddenly want to grow balls and act like a man
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jul 19, 2014 9:08:39 GMT -5
My husband said no way in heck would he want DD to register, it was me that thought fair is fair. DS had to verify he had registered to attend CC.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 9:09:22 GMT -5
well then you should be home cooking and cleaning and having a man support you.....you only want gender equality when it benefits you. I don't work because of gender equality. I work because any woman who puts her financial security in the hands of someone else is taking a huge risk. I work because my mom was that woman who relied on my dad for financial security and we wound up in government housing when the marriage tanked. I don't work because I suddenly want to grow balls and act like a man you expect your man to act like a man (gender specific roles/responsibilities)....why shouldn't he expect his woman to act like a woman (again, gender specific roles/responsibilities)?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 9:09:59 GMT -5
My husband said no way in heck would he want DD to register, it was me that thought fair is fair. DS had to verify he had registered to attend CC. what if DD wanted to be able to register?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 19, 2014 9:13:17 GMT -5
I don't work because of gender equality. I work because any woman who puts her financial security in the hands of someone else is taking a huge risk. I work because my mom was that woman who relied on my dad for financial security and we wound up in government housing when the marriage tanked. I don't work because I suddenly want to grow balls and act like a man you expect your man to act like a man (gender specific roles/responsibilities)....why shouldn't he expect his woman to act like a woman (again, gender specific roles/responsibilities)? I do act like a woman. My husband would never want me to act like a man.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jul 19, 2014 9:18:54 GMT -5
I guess I like the old-fashioned kind of guy. I expect a man to be able to fix things, protect the family and earn a good salary. I am appalled that any man would want his wife/daughter shipped off to war. I could never be with a guy who would allow me to financially support him (excluding any medical conditions).
For me, I think men are changing but not for the better. The day my husband ever thought our daughters should have to go to war just because he had to sign up for the draft would be the day I lost all respect for him. The day my husband ever thought he should quit work and let me support him would be the day I packed my bags and left. I am fierce in a business setting but in my personal life I want a man who acts like a man and treats me like a woman. Not that I desire it, but I would be much better suited to a combat zone then DH. I also am the primary breadwinner. Our daughter/family unit is much better off with each of us fullfilling the roles to which we are best suited. If we attempted to follow the "traditional" roles, DD's life would be much poorer because DH is a better parent then am I (just being honest with myself) and she would not have the standard of comfort which we all currently enjoy. We each have to go with what works for us.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 19, 2014 9:21:26 GMT -5
I guess I like the old-fashioned kind of guy. I expect a man to be able to fix things, protect the family and earn a good salary. I am appalled that any man would want his wife/daughter shipped off to war. I could never be with a guy who would allow me to financially support him (excluding any medical conditions).
For me, I think men are changing but not for the better. The day my husband ever thought our daughters should have to go to war just because he had to sign up for the draft would be the day I lost all respect for him. The day my husband ever thought he should quit work and let me support him would be the day I packed my bags and left. I am fierce in a business setting but in my personal life I want a man who acts like a man and treats me like a woman. Not that I desire it, but I would be much better suited to a combat zone then DH. I also am the primary breadwinner. Our daughter/family unit is much better off with each of us fullfilling the roles to which we are best suited. If we attempted to follow the "traditional" roles, DD's life would be much poorer because DH is a better parent then am I (just being honest with myself) and she would not have the standard of comfort which we all currently enjoy. We each have to go with what works for us. And I'm not saying that my way is the way everyone should be. For me though, I need the typical "manly man". I do look at the next generation and see a shift and I don't like it. But I don't have to like it because it isn't my generation.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 9:23:11 GMT -5
well then you should be home cooking and cleaning and having a man support you.....you only want gender equality when it benefits you. I don't work because of gender equality. I work because any woman who puts her financial security in the hands of someone else is taking a huge risk. I work because my mom was that woman who relied on my dad for financial security and we wound up in government housing when the marriage tanked. I don't work because I suddenly want to grow balls and act like a manYou can work and earn a decent living because of gender equality though. If we were still in old fashioned times, you'd be heavily discouraged from seeking security in the way you currently do, and told to stay at home, that's your role as a woman. My husband doesn't want to grow boobs and become a woman when he'd rather run errands rather than go into the crawl space to fix plumbing, he just hates dirty cramped spaces. I don't mind and think repairs are neat, so I do it, along with any chainsaw or in house plumbing work that is needed. I shunt all social stuff to DH to handle, because he's good at it and likes it, and I would rather slam my hand in a door repeatedly than attend or host lots of events. I don't need a penis, my body is already extremely versatile. There are options now, based on what seems sensible to individuals. I think it's a good thing, rather than forcing people into only narrow roles that you reject as well, for very logical reasons.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 19, 2014 9:23:35 GMT -5
I think men are great! I have 3 awesome men in my life. Dh and my two sons. However, the state of men in general is a bit disturbing. Obviously, there are many terrific , hard working, giving men. However, I see a lot of men who want to live life as perpetual teenagers. That want to really spend life living in mom's basement playing the Xbox. And, I see men who shirk their duties as husbands and fathers in ways that my father never would have even dreamed. So, there is good and bad of course.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jul 19, 2014 9:28:01 GMT -5
I think I said that it was hubby that didn't like the idea of DD being drafted. You are asking me to speak for him about if DD WANTED to register and I have no idea, that would be between him and her.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2014 9:41:07 GMT -5
But I see it in my own son. He's like Peter Pan. Granted, he had a shit role model but the fact is, he isn't much different than his peer group. The fact that he honestly lives the same way as he did out of college freaks me out. But not him.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2014 9:41:42 GMT -5
Even my DD says shed be ashamed to be as old as he is and live like he does.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Jul 19, 2014 9:49:09 GMT -5
well then you should be home cooking and cleaning and having a man support you.....you only want gender equality when it benefits you. I don't work because of gender equality. I work because any woman who puts her financial security in the hands of someone else is taking a huge risk. I work because my mom was that woman who relied on my dad for financial security and we wound up in government housing when the marriage tanked. I don't work because I suddenly want to grow balls and act like a man Being vulnerable to that risk pretty much defines the traditional female gender role. Part of why I am so thankful we aren't confined to those roles.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 10:11:35 GMT -5
I think I said that it was hubby that didn't like the idea of DD being drafted. You are asking me to speak for him about if DD WANTED to register and I have no idea, that would be between him and her. but is he ok with your son being drafted if a draft was instituted? I don't understand how a parent can feel one of their children is more special than the other because of gender.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jul 19, 2014 10:13:45 GMT -5
I was 19 and DH was 20 when we were married in 1964. He was in the Air Force, the first 4 years of marriage he was gone for 3. Yes, in Viet Nam, the gift that keeps on giving.
Even after his discharge he seemed to always have positions that required him to travel. These were the days before cell phones, pagers, Skype or anything else other than a telephone and a secretary. The secretary was the go between for us if I needed him. In other words, I had no choice but to grow up and be responsible.
Today, I handle all the money, investments, taxes etc. At one time perhaps I had the choice not to, but today, due to medical problems that DH has, no longer have that choice.
The majority of women I know today that are my age or older, are absolutely helpless and unable to grasp anything related to financial things. In 2 cases, their DHs are the old school of "I'll take care of the bride because she's incapable of understanding details like this". If those 2 outlive their DH, they are both going to be in world of hurt.
DH has told me that he doesn't know any other woman who is as capable as I am. I take that as a compliment, as most of what I've learned he has taught me.
For the younger ladies on here, it makes me so happy that you are independent and self-assured. Able to handle your work, home and other responsibilities. Ladies my age didn't have the opportunities that you do. Just please, make sure you do your best, you have a lot riding on your shoulders...and I am so proud to know you.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 19, 2014 10:18:57 GMT -5
I think I said that it was hubby that didn't like the idea of DD being drafted. You are asking me to speak for him about if DD WANTED to register and I have no idea, that would be between him and her. but is he ok with your son being drafted if a draft was instituted? I don't understand how a parent can feel one of their children is more special than the other because of gender. I know my husband would feel different about a son than he does our daughters. My husband is the type of guy that believes a man should protect his family. If someone broke into our home and he was here, he wouldn't cower behind me and expect me to fight off the intruders. As a man, that is his job not mine . He would feel the same way about war. He wouldn't want either of his children going, but if one had to go should be the by he raised to act like a man, not his daughter.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 10:23:37 GMT -5
but is he ok with your son being drafted if a draft was instituted? I don't understand how a parent can feel one of their children is more special than the other because of gender. I know my husband would feel different about a son than he does our daughters. My husband is the type of guy that believes a man should protect his family. If someone broke into our home and he was here, he wouldn't cower behind me and expect me to fight off the intruders. As a man, that is his job not mine . He would feel the same way about war. He wouldn't want either of his children going, but if one had to go should be the by he raised to act like a man, not his daughter. what exactly does being 'raised to act like a man' mean? what happens if someone breaks in and there's no man to protect you? seriously, I find this attitude repulsive. I'm guessing if you had sons, they wouldn't be allowed to do anything that wasn't 'manly'.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jul 19, 2014 10:24:03 GMT -5
single, I have no idea, would you like his email and you can ask him directly ? Why are you asking me to speak for him We are separated so I am surely not going to call him up and ask him. Also this happened four years ago and I couldn't even tell you what was discussed apart from what I already posted. He didn't like the idea of DD registering, I had/have no problem with DD registering, it wasn't high up on our bucket list to go any further than that.
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