vent...finally tried dating, fail..yep fail.

[ZaireinHD]

yea - true - I see your point
goes along with other jerk moves like:
agreeing to meet and showing up late - 5 minutes to over an hour - and calling to say he is running late keeping his date at said restaurant for such a long time
or
getting to the date and comes time to pay he asks his date to pay for the meal, cause he can't afford it
or
at the date and he's hands on and lots of sex talk
or
maybe he changed his mind and the date became low priority, and didn't notice the need to call announcing a change of plans? there was an unexpected out of state emergency - excuse.

however he made a mistake not calling, something bad as far as first impressions goes.
depending on the situation if he should get a second chance.and looks like he's getting a second chance.

[t-dog]

Ok so gave him second chance. Went out Sat night and it went well.

[Deleted]

Aug 4, 2014 16:52:36 GMT -5 t-dog said:

Ok so gave him second chance. Went out Sat night and it went well.

Details, girl, DETAILS!!!!

[happyhoix]

Aug 4, 2014 16:52:36 GMT -5 t-dog said:

Ok so gave him second chance. Went out Sat night and it went well.

So did he have a reasonable excuse for failing to call the first time?

[t-dog]

Met for dinner and just talked for a couple of hours, but no uncomfortable lulls and a lot in common. Learned more of his background and how he ended up here in town.

Happy, I accepted excuse which was work related and involved driving to another state due to water issues in a building (he's a plumber and job was scheduled a week later but apparently something burst and he had to go). Not sure if that is the whole story, but I'm going with it since even if this doesn't work out its good practice dating given that its been years for me.

[Nazgul Girl]

   Glad to read about this, t-dog.  

[t-dog]

Thanks Naz.

[t-dog]

So how long would you wait to hear back from other party?

[Apple]

You went out Saturday?  I would have expected to hear at least something by now.  Have you contacted him at all? (a text, message, whatever)

I figure if a guy is interested, he'll probably get ahold of me the next day.  If I don't hear from him, I'll send the first text/message.  If I don't get a response, I'm moving on.

I know there is some kind of a "wait three days" game, but I don't play those.  If I'm interested, why would I make someone wait several days when it takes ten seconds to type "thanks again for ... I had fun!"? 

I suppose phone calls work too, I'm just not really a phone person.

[t-dog]

I did text Sunday and he responded that he had a good time via text Sunday. Nothing further.

[t-dog]

Guess this was a fail after all since I haven't heard boo since Sunday. Oh well, now to just figure out where to find the single men around here...being over 40 with a kid doesn't make the dating thing easy at all. Most of where I spend time is family oriented, i.e. the only singles are the moms.

[Deleted]

Be patient.  It's only Wednesday.  Men don't think like we do.

[Deleted]

Something could have happened too.  Family emergency trumps calling back first date.

[Angel!]

Crossing my fingers for you!

[t-dog]

Just got a "hi, how are you" text.

[Angel!]

Yay!!!

Maybe he felt he needed to wait a few days to not appear too eager.  

[t-dog]

Fingers crossed Angel.

[t-dog]

Ok decent text conversation. Meeting up with him tomorrow night. I guess being more direct then I am usually comfortable with has benefits.

[beergut]

t-dog, I'm thrilled it is going well for you, but I have to disagree with some of the other posters on here.

When you're in your 40s (I'm assuming he is near your age?), you don't play the "wait for three days to contact" game, or any games for that matter. If you do, you're not worth the time or effort of getting to know you, because you still have some growing up to do.

I'd still treat this as dating practice, and try not to get too emotionally invested in this guy. 

[marvholly]

Aug 6, 2014 13:18:10 GMT -5 t-dog said:

Guess this was a fail after all since I haven't heard boo since Sunday. Oh well, now to just figure out where to find the single men around here...being over 40 with a kid doesn't make the dating thing easy at all. Most of where I spend time is family oriented, i.e. the only singles are the moms.

If you think 40's w/kids is hard try being >65 even if the 'kids' are adults fully supporting themselves & their kids.

[Angel!]

Aug 7, 2014 4:24:55 GMT -5 beergut said:

t-dog, I'm thrilled it is going well for you, but I have to disagree with some of the other posters on here.

When you're in your 40s (I'm assuming he is near your age?), you don't play the "wait for three days to contact" game, or any games for that matter. If you do, you're not worth the time or effort of getting to know you, because you still have some growing up to do.

I'd still treat this as dating practice, and try not to get too emotionally invested in this guy. 

Meh.  I wouldn't take it to mean too much yet.  Guys are idiots.  Now if you go out again & he still waits days & days to call, then I would think maybe he doesn't have time for me or isn't that interested.

[Bonny]

Aug 7, 2014 16:22:21 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Aug 7, 2014 4:24:55 GMT -5 beergut said:

t-dog, I'm thrilled it is going well for you, but I have to disagree with some of the other posters on here.

When you're in your 40s (I'm assuming he is near your age?), you don't play the "wait for three days to contact" game, or any games for that matter. If you do, you're not worth the time or effort of getting to know you, because you still have some growing up to do.

I'd still treat this as dating practice, and try not to get too emotionally invested in this guy. 

Meh.  I wouldn't take it to mean too much yet.  Guys are idiots.  Now if you go out again & he still waits days & days to call, then I would think maybe he doesn't have time for me or isn't that interested.

He also could have a busy work schedule or...

He's new at this too.

[Deleted]

Oh damn!  I'm going away for the weekend tomorrow, so I'll have to catch up next week.  Hope you have a great time, t-dog.

[t-dog]

I learned that he is new to this at this age as well.

[Bonny]

Remember to keep a good sense of humor about it all!

[beergut]

Aug 7, 2014 18:20:47 GMT -5 t-dog said:

I learned that he is new to this at this age as well.

 Did you ask why he waits to call/text?

 Here is why I am skeptical: Every single successful date I've had, I'm usually in my car leaving when I get a text from my date telling me they had a great time, and we're planning the next date.

I often tell my date to text me when they get home so I know they made it safely.

When the date is going well and conversation is easy, you usually lose track of time. When you have to leave, texting allows you to continue that conversation.

When you find that person and make the connection, you're both talking about it, because we're always happy when we meet a new best friend.

I'm not saying this bodes ill for your situation, just saying this has been my experience. YMMV

[t-dog]

I guess we shall see how this all plays out.

[beergut]

Aug 8, 2014 12:02:03 GMT -5 @missmargarita said:

Aug 8, 2014 11:46:49 GMT -5 beergut said:

 Did you ask why he waits to call/text?

 Here is why I am skeptical: Every single successful date I've had, I'm usually in my car leaving when I get a text from my date telling me they had a great time, and we're planning the next date.

I often tell my date to text me when they get home so I know they made it safely.

When the date is going well and conversation is easy, you usually lose track of time. When you have to leave, texting allows you to continue that conversation.

When you find that person and make the connection, you're both talking about it, because we're always happy when we meet a new best friend.

I'm not saying this bodes ill for your situation, just saying this has been my experience. YMMV

I think after a first date, especially for someone who is just getting back into dating, that may come across as being pushy. Also, unless you specifically know how someone feels about texting, it can seem a bit too personal if you're unsure. 

Fair enough.

 Although if you tell them to text you to let them know you arrived home, they know they have permission to text you.

I'm assuming you would text before your first date, and know each other's communication habits in that area.

[jkapp]

Aug 8, 2014 12:02:03 GMT -5 @missmargarita said:

Aug 8, 2014 11:46:49 GMT -5 beergut said:

 Did you ask why he waits to call/text?

 Here is why I am skeptical: Every single successful date I've had, I'm usually in my car leaving when I get a text from my date telling me they had a great time, and we're planning the next date.

I often tell my date to text me when they get home so I know they made it safely.

When the date is going well and conversation is easy, you usually lose track of time. When you have to leave, texting allows you to continue that conversation.

When you find that person and make the connection, you're both talking about it, because we're always happy when we meet a new best friend.

I'm not saying this bodes ill for your situation, just saying this has been my experience. YMMV

I think after a first date, especially for someone who is just getting back into dating, that may come across as being pushy. Also, unless you specifically know how someone feels about texting, it can seem a bit too personal if you're unsure. 

And that's probably another reason I'll always be single: I don't text

I don't even carry my phone around with me 99% of the time.  And even if I did, it is a flip-phone where I would have to punch numbers in succession in order to get letters for a text!

I don't need a phone on me, I don't want a phone on me. I hate the phone. I've hated it since I worked at Pizza Hut as a high schooler answering the phones (and later working as a telehone company customer service rep).  If I had a time machine, i'd use it to go back and kick Alexander Graham Bell's ass and break every prototype phone he had 

[Deleted]

Aug 8, 2014 12:52:03 GMT -5 @missmargarita said:

Aug 8, 2014 12:29:46 GMT -5 jkapp said:

And that's probably another reason I'll always be single: I don't text

I don't even carry my phone around with me 99% of the time.  And even if I did, it is a flip-phone where I would have to punch numbers in succession in order to get letters for a text!

I don't need a phone on me, I don't want a phone on me. I hate the phone. I've hated it since I worked at Pizza Hut as a high schooler answering the phones (and later working as a telehone company customer service rep).  If I had a time machine, i'd use it to go back and kick Alexander Graham Bell's ass and break every prototype phone he had 

That's why texting is great! You don't have to talk to anyone ever again! I love texting... hate talking!

I'd be perfectly happy having a phone with no talk plan.  Just text and data please.