Has anyone ever used a professional organizer?

[HoneyBBQ]

I am considering hiring one.

I'm actually very good at organization, labeling things, putting the most used and most important things close at hand. Good at using space wisely, etc. I also don't have any problem throwing things away.

So why do I need an organizer?

Well, part of it is related to the amount of crap I get from my mom. I've posted before, she sends me several boxes a week of 'stuff' due to her shopping addiction.  I got 4 boxes last week. I got one today. It had in it: one pair of shoes, a wind coat, some clothes for DD, a magazine, two books, a pair of ski pants for DD, and an electric dog warming blanket (yeah, dunno what the hell that's about).  

I try to open the stuff, pick out a thing or two I like or might be useful, or things I KNOW she'll ask if DD likes/ask about when she visits and throw the rest in the goodwill pile.  The problem is I can't remember most of the stuff she has sent me because I just do it quickly and don't really 'register' the things she sent. For example, I'll think, "Oh, snow pants for next fall for DD, that sounds good, I'll keep those." But then I'll realize at some point that my mom has sent me 5 pair of snow pants and they are all hanging in the closet.

And my H is the opposite of me - disorganized, doesn't like to throw things away, etc. I've tried to help him organize our small 1.5 car garage, but it's hard with all his crap. He has half finished projects everywhere, etc. He has 2 motorcycles in our tiny garage and only one runs (sigh). A band saw and table, giant tool chest, etc. He likes to tinker and have scraps of wood. Stuff like that.

We have a big house but small closets.

We have lots of hobbies with equipment; camping, skiing, golf, biking, etc. And we use all that crap.

So I was trying to figure out if an organizer could help slim down our junk and help maximize our storage, tell H to get rid of some crap (heh). The main issue with me is I have more money than time, so maybe I could get someone else to do it for me even though I'd be good at it?

So---- has anyone used one? What are expected costs? What did you have them do? What did you think?

[truthbound]

Normally I wouldn't waste my money on something like that. However, people in those fields have way more knowledge about products and systems available on the market than us. They would likely come up with something you never thought of.

[Deleted]

Honey, there's nothing wrong with using a professional organizer, although I haven't, personally.

But it sounds like the problem is that your mom bombards you with Stuff, and hiring a professional organizer won't solve that problem. My DH is a bit of a hoarder too ... I've found that until HE is ready to get rid of things, there's nothing anybody can do. He finally agreed to go through our basement 1.5 years ago, and got rid of some stuff, and reorganized what's left (there is still PLENTY but there's less than there was, and it's reorganized, off the floor and on shelves).

I wish you luck!

[raeoflyte]

My mom has been using an organizer to help her get through almost 40 years of stuff from her house and her parents. It definitely helps her.

I don't know if I could do it but I'd be sorely tempted to put the boxes your mom sends you on a freecycle list. Or if you have any friends who sell stuff online ask them to pick things up a few times a week.

Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards

[Deleted]

Re boxes from Mom - You could save them up then auction them off unopened like they do on those tv shows. You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

[Deleted]

I never have, but I would love to if I could afford it.  I would do that before a house cleaner for sure.  My SIL has a natural talent for that and really should do it for a living.  Occasionally she'll show up at my house and we'll attack a closet and in an hour or two she'll have accomplished what I couldn't get done in months.  It's pretty amazing.

My Mom is bad about giving me stuff too.  On the one hand, I'm grateful because I never have to buy the kids clothes, but she just gets so MUCH.  Just yesterday she dropped off 4 sets of sheets for the bunk beds (2 sets each), because they were "such a great deal"  Well, I already have summer and winter sheets so what am I going to do with these?  Toss them in the closet with all the other sheets that never get used. 

[constanz22]

I belong to a decluttering group on FB.  Honey, I think one of the most important tips I hear over and over is "you can't organize clutter."  My house is also bursting at the seams, but it is at least half my doing, and dealing with chronic pain for a few years.  I did a "40 bag" challenge in the FB group and yes, I removed 40 bags of crap, trash, sold, or donated and I swear, you can't even tell.  It will be a long process.  Also, you have to stop the influx if you are ever going to make progress.  One thing in, one thing out.  Or even better, two things out.  Peter Walsh has a WONDERFUL book on clutter, "It's All Too Much".  Highly recommend it.

[zibazinski]

I am so sure there's a group like spouse abuse shelters that could use that excess stuff like sheets and all. They never have anything and a lot of times they leave with the clothes on their backs. I donate hotel room supplies I get to them as well. Way to pass it on.

[milee]

May 19, 2014 23:52:11 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

Well, part of it is related to the amount of crap I get from my mom. I've posted before, she sends me several boxes a week of 'stuff' due to her shopping addiction.  I got 4 boxes last week. I got one today. It had in it: one pair of shoes, a wind coat, some clothes for DD, a magazine, two books, a pair of ski pants for DD, and an electric dog warming blanket (yeah, dunno what the hell that's about).  

Sorry, I got nothin', just am still in shock over this.  Just...   

[Bonny]

Honey,

I think your system of picking out a couple of the "gems" and donating the rest is appropriate. Do you acknowledge the "gifts" with a quick e-mail? That would help create the "inventory list". Would your mother be hurt if you said something like "the snowpants fit DD perfectly but the rest doesn't work. Do mind if I donate to X charity?". Chances are that if she's given DD 5 pairs of snowpants already she doesn't remember that she bought the other 4.

I sympathize with you. MIL goes through periodic purges and over buys bargains at Costco. Even though she gets upset I've started returning some of the gifts. In response we're getting more Costco gift cards which is just fine. Also we've been a little circumspect about donating some items like the hand-me-down business suits she gave me 15-20 years ago. She'd want the tax deduction.

[bean29]

May 20, 2014 7:50:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I never have, but I would love to if I could afford it.  I would do that before a house cleaner for sure.  My SIL has a natural talent for that and really should do it for a living.  Occasionally she'll show up at my house and we'll attack a closet and in an hour or two she'll have accomplished what I couldn't get done in months.  It's pretty amazing.

My Mom is bad about giving me stuff too.  On the one hand, I'm grateful because I never have to buy the kids clothes, but she just gets so MUCH.  Just yesterday she dropped off 4 sets of sheets for the bunk beds (2 sets each), because they were "such a great deal"  Well, I already have summer and winter sheets so what am I going to do with these?  Toss them in the closet with all the other sheets that never get used. 

MPL, I know you have a big yard, do you have roses?  The flat sheets are about the best to throw over your roses when you have a frost warning.  We had spring frost warnings last week and I was scrambling to find stuff to cover my plants.  It was more than just the roses this time too.  It was all new plants that I put out too early - they even were warning to cover vegetables.

If your Mother just bought them I might ask her to return them.  I find that I don't need extra sheets, I prefer to strip the bed, wash the sheets and put them back on the bed, then I don't have to fold them. 

[bean29]

May 20, 2014 7:58:22 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

I belong to a decluttering group on FB.  Honey, I think one of the most important tips I hear over and over is "you can't organize clutter."  My house is also bursting at the seams, but it is at least half my doing, and dealing with chronic pain for a few years.  I did a "40 bag" challenge in the FB group and yes, I removed 40 bags of crap, trash, sold, or donated and I swear, you can't even tell.  It will be a long process.  Also, you have to stop the influx if you are ever going to make progress.  One thing in, one thing out.  Or even better, two things out.  Peter Walsh has a WONDERFUL book on clutter, "It's All Too Much".  Highly recommend it.

I need to do this.  10-20 would probably do it for me, but I need to sneak the stuff out of the house.  DH always wants to save it for someone.  As far as I am concerned if I am giving it away, I don't care what happens to it as long as it is gone right away.

DH also lectured me about why did you buy it to begin with.  My College son cleaned his closet about 3 weeks ago (3 garbage bags).  I asked him to do it about 2 years ago. 

I took it downstairs so I could check and see if there is anything there DH might want, then I will get rid of it.  It will go by the end of the week.  I know it is a lot of very worn stuff, but there is a jogging suit with a zippered jacket I bought when DS was in HS that he never wore.  I think my DH might be able to fit in it.

I got rid of a lot of stuff from my basement when DH was finishing the basement.  It is frustrating b/c it would be easier if DH would help decide what goes/what stays but I get we have to keep that cost a lot of $$ or we have to save for X who has no income and an ongoing rummage sale and then it does not leave my house.  X's income (or lack of) is not my problem.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2014 9:32:44 GMT -5 bean29 said:

May 20, 2014 7:50:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I never have, but I would love to if I could afford it.  I would do that before a house cleaner for sure.  My SIL has a natural talent for that and really should do it for a living.  Occasionally she'll show up at my house and we'll attack a closet and in an hour or two she'll have accomplished what I couldn't get done in months.  It's pretty amazing.

My Mom is bad about giving me stuff too.  On the one hand, I'm grateful because I never have to buy the kids clothes, but she just gets so MUCH.  Just yesterday she dropped off 4 sets of sheets for the bunk beds (2 sets each), because they were "such a great deal"  Well, I already have summer and winter sheets so what am I going to do with these?  Toss them in the closet with all the other sheets that never get used. 

MPL, I know you have a big yard, do you have roses?  The flat sheets are about the best to throw over your roses when you have a frost warning.  We had spring frost warnings last week and I was scrambling to find stuff to cover my plants.  It was more than just the roses this time too.  It was all new plants that I put out too early - they even were warning to cover vegetables.

If your Mother just bought them I might ask her to return them.  I find that I don't need extra sheets, I prefer to strip the bed, wash the sheets and put them back on the bed, then I don't have to fold them. 

Yeah, you don't know my mom...I'm convinced the reason I rarely speak is because my entire life I was never allowed a word in edgewise.  Telling her to take them back would just lead to misery for me.  After all, these were $39/set sheets that she got for $3.99 each on clearance!  I have a big house, plenty of room to store them and you can NEVER have too many sheets.  She also remembers every. single. thing. she gives me over the years and questions me about stuff.  I don't know how she does it because I can't remember a tenth of it.  BTW, I'm also going to Jellystone with them over the 4th instead of my planned road trip because I just couldn't deal with arguing with her about it anymore. 

[The Captain]

I have to say I've been VERY pleasantly surprised by how open DH is to getting rid of stuff now we don't need or use.

When his grandma passed we got her piano/organ.  That was almost 20 years ago and no one in the family uses it.  We could maybe get $100 for it but it's going to the curb (as long as it isn't raining).

[HoneyBBQ]

May 20, 2014 4:40:00 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

But it sounds like the problem is that your mom bombards you with Stuff, and hiring a professional organizer won't solve that problem.

Yeah, it won't solve the problem, but maybe it will help keep it in check awhile?

May 20, 2014 7:07:42 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I don't know if I could do it but I'd be sorely tempted to put the boxes your mom sends you on a freecycle list.

Yeah, I mean, it's just hard. My mom's who's world revolves around 'stuff' and talking about the 'stuff' and how did I like the 'stuff' and did we wear the 'stuff' yet. I try to placate by saying "We have so much stuff already in the queue for DD we are waiting to give it to her" but she literally will ask EVERY week until I give item XYZ to her. And sometimes I send pictures and she wants to actually SEE the item in the pictures. I know this sounds crazy. I do tell her to stop sending so much stuff and we don't have room but she doesn't listen. Her 'love' language is gifts, and rejecting the stuff is a direct rejection of her. I wish she would stop, but I literally can't make her stop unless I never speak to her again.

May 20, 2014 7:31:29 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Re boxes from Mom - You could save them up then auction them off unopened like they do on those tv shows. You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

That is hilarious. Poor folks will be getting used thrift store clothes and beat up kids books.

May 20, 2014 7:58:22 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

;Also, you have to stop the influx if you are ever going to make progress.  One thing in, one thing out.  Or even better, two things out.  Peter Walsh has a WONDERFUL book on clutter, "It's All Too Much".  Highly recommend it.

I do abide as best as possible to the 'one thing in one thing out' rule. But sometimes I just don't have time (like yesterday) to sort through stuff and get rid of one item. It's really about the time management aspect. I have to dedicate so much time to the 'stuff' management... who has time for that? I want to spend time with my daughter, doing stuff for ME (like running, etc) or relaxing, time with H, etc. I don't want to be going through closets every night.

May 20, 2014 9:01:26 GMT -5 milee said:

Sorry, I got nothin', just am still in shock over this.  Just...   

which part lol. 

Bonny- She does know I send a lot to charity. And I do tell her that, she seems ok, but some things ... ugh. Like she sent my daughter a big basket purse thing with little flowers all over it. My mother has already sent her like 4 purses. It went straight in the goodwill pile. Was it cute? Sure. Would DD like it? Sure. But we just didn't need it. I can't say it didn't fit. I usually just try and wait for her to forget about it and say it's in the queue but it's hard lying all the time. And she NEVER forgets. I forget almost instantly and she's like "Did you like your new blue coat? What size was that again?" And it's like... shittttt dog, that thing has been at goodwill for a month already! IT's just emotionally taxing.

[HoneyBBQ]

May 20, 2014 9:43:27 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

May 20, 2014 9:32:44 GMT -5 bean29 said:

MPL, I know you have a big yard, do you have roses?  The flat sheets are about the best to throw over your roses when you have a frost warning.  We had spring frost warnings last week and I was scrambling to find stuff to cover my plants.  It was more than just the roses this time too.  It was all new plants that I put out too early - they even were warning to cover vegetables.

If your Mother just bought them I might ask her to return them.  I find that I don't need extra sheets, I prefer to strip the bed, wash the sheets and put them back on the bed, then I don't have to fold them. 

Yeah, you don't know my mom...I'm convinced the reason I rarely speak is because my entire life I was never allowed a word in edgewise.  Telling her to take them back would just lead to misery for me.  After all, these were $39/set sheets that she got for $3.99 each on clearance!  I have a big house, plenty of room to store them and you can NEVER have too many sheets.  She also remembers every. single. thing. she gives me over the years and questions me about stuff.  I don't know how she does it because I can't remember a tenth of it.  BTW, I'm also going to Jellystone with them over the 4th instead of my planned road trip because I just couldn't deal with arguing with her about it anymore. 

Sisters?

Some times I get so angry, I'm like MOM IM ALMOST 40 AND MAKE $XXXXX dollars a year, I can afford my own USED THRIFT CLOTHES.  

I am not a starving college student anymore. And I know it's not about ME. It's about HER and her obsession and addiction. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

After all, these were $39/set sheets that she got for $3.99 each on clearance!

Is your mother my MIL? DH got into it with her over a too small Halloween costume for Gwen that was "so cute" and she "spent $3 on it!" that we refused to use. She didn't speak to him for 3 days when he told her we weren't using it and stop buying crap without asking us first.

Hobby Lobby opened up here the same time as our wedding so that was a nightmare.  She had an entire ROOM filled with crap that was "such a good deal" that she wanted us to use at our reception.

DH's cousin ended up bailing us out on that.  MIL tried to order her to "surprise" decorate our reception but she called us ahead of time.  She took all the crap and then took the heat for not being able to fit it all in.

Some of it still made it's way into our reception, MIL helpfully brought it with her to the wedding in case cousin forgot it.

[Deleted]

That's tough Honey. By doing this, your mom is sucking up your time and energy, and controlling your home environment from a distance, because she's cluttering it up with Stuff you don't want.

Could you send her on specific missions? I HATE clutter so I know it's hard to deal with. I'm a huge Peter Walsh fan too, and unfortunately, as Constanz says, if there is more coming in than going out (even if you're not the one buying the Stuff) even a professional organizer can only be a temporary "fix".

As far as organizing goes: it's understandable that you don't want to be doing closets every night. But maybe you can do one or two closets every month, until they're done? You'd have the vast majority of your free time to do the things you want to do, but you'd still be making progress without it taking too much of your free time. Even slow progress is progress.

I'm just trying to be helpful. 

[Deleted]

Yeah, I mean, it's just hard. My mom's who's world revolves around 'stuff' and talking about the 'stuff' and how did I like the 'stuff' and did we wear the 'stuff' yet. I try to placate by saying "We have so much stuff already in the queue for DD we are waiting to give it to her" but she literally will ask EVERY week until I give item XYZ to her. And sometimes I send pictures and she wants to actually SEE the item in the pictures. I know this sounds crazy. I do tell her to stop sending so much stuff and we don't have room but she doesn't listen. Her 'love' language is gifts, and rejecting the stuff is a direct rejection of her. I wish she would stop, but I literally can't make her stop unless I never speak to her again.

I know to you this will sound like an oversimplification but I swear to you it works. Just stop appeasing her. When she asks give an honest answer, and "I don't remember" qualifies. If you get something you actually like say so. Otherwise donate it and move on. It is not your job in life to appease your mothers issues. If you stop appeasing her she will stop "demanding" it.

[Deleted]

I like the idea of giving her specific missions! 


But that will only work if Mom can control herself to just getting one deal and not buying every deal she sees during her "quest". 

[HoneyBBQ]

If I send her on specific missions or tell her something I want or need.... she wants me to pay for it (and shipping!!). LOL.



I know, this is more about my response and actions than the stuff itself. I 'try' to be a good daughter or whatever even thought it's futile, pointless, enraging, etc.

[sesfw]

When his grandma passed we got her piano/organ. That was almost 20 years ago and no one in the family uses it. We could maybe get $100 for it but it's going to the curb (as long as it isn't raining).

Post the instrument in the 'free' section of Craigslist.  I got rid of a piano that way and requested it go to a charitable organization.  A small church was starting and they loved receiving it. 

At a rummage sale I found a floor keyboard and it went to a lady that teaches music to pre-K special needs kids.  Really helps.

Find someone that will give this a good home.

[midjd]

I will probably catch some heat for this... but IMO your job now is to be a good mother to your daughter, rather than a good daughter to your mother.* (*from her perspective. I don't think you donating to Goodwill or even refusing to acknowledge the boxes/returning them unopened would make you a "bad" daughter, but I'm sure she sees it differently.)

If these items are causing you stress, and costing you time you'd rather spend with DD - it needs to stop. I'm sure you exerting boundaries will piss your mom off. But she is not respecting your desires (since I know you've tried to have that talk with her before). Why should you respect her desire to keep sending you crap?

In 20 years, your DD isn't going to remember her 5 pairs of snow pants, but she probably will remember you being stressed out by Grandma's unrelenting desire to inflict her junk on the unwilling.

[zibazinski]

These people are mentally ill. Ever watch Hoarders? I dated a guy whose mom had this issue. Her house was obscene. Her husband bought a motor home and put it in the front yard so he would have a place to live because the house was so awful. While he was visiting family, she broke into his motor home and started putting crap into it! When he got home he was enraged and threw all that shit out onto the yard. She went nuts and lost "it" and called her sons who came over and told her that when she died, they were getting one of those trash dumpsters and throwing everything into it. She cried and cried. But she didnt get "help" and they just ignore her and her problem now. She came to visit him and brought him a set of dining room chairs. Trouble is he already had dining room chairs so they sat in his front hall. I'm sorry but no one has the right to litter your home with their crap.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry but no one has the right to litter your home with their crap.

only if you let them. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You guys should have seen this gwad awful fake tree my MIL found decorated with Christmas lights and tiny birds. She brought it over to DH's house and insisted he display it because it'd make his house more woman friendly.

I was sitting on the couch dying. When she left I told DH that thing is more of a "woman deterrent" unless the woman in question is 75.

I forget what happened to that thing. Fortunately now we do not live so close to her and she "doesn't like to drive". Anything she buys has to stay at her house. DH just keeps repeating that we did not ask you to buy this stuff you cannot get pissed at us because we refuse to take it.

[The Captain]

May 20, 2014 11:48:05 GMT -5 sesfw said:

When his grandma passed we got her piano/organ. That was almost 20 years ago and no one in the family uses it. We could maybe get $100 for it but it's going to the curb (as long as it isn't raining).

Post the instrument in the 'free' section of Craigslist.  I got rid of a piano that way and requested it go to a charitable organization.  A small church was starting and they loved receiving it. 

At a rummage sale I found a floor keyboard and it went to a lady that teaches music to pre-K special needs kids.  Really helps.

Find someone that will give this a good home.

DH and I tried that a few times once with a bunch of REALLY nice baby items that we though a young couple could use and once with a white electric oven we got from my grandma.  We've had too many no-shows to keep wasting our time. 

You would think if someone is giving you something for free you could at least be there when promised to pick it up .

[kittensaver]

I agree that you do not have an organizing problem, you have a hoarder problem (stuff being thrust on you). You either need to find a way to stop taking in "stuff," or it will continue to go on. No amount of "organizing" will help you with that.

FWIW, I've found (in general) the people on Freecycle to be more responsive than folks in the "free" section of Craigslist. I've never had anyone fail to pick up something they wanted.

Do you have one of those "we-sell-it-for-you-on-ebay" places anywhere near you? Yes they take a % of the price, but so what? If you were just going to give it away for free, you will actually end up with a few bucks instead. And they do all the work for you .

[Chocolate Lover]

Honey, I feel your pain. My mom, who does the same thing, lives 10 minutes from me and has a key to my house.   I found a shirt for DD on the kitchen table yesterday. It's not unusual to find clothes meant for me or DH on our bed. Books, movies.... whatever.... she brings it by the drips and drabs.... but it piles up. I have a donate box that lives by the back door, I just keep on tossing stuff in it. And I've gotten way less shy about saying NO, don't want it. But how many purses does one 12 year old girl need? 

IDK what I'd do if she was shipping it to me but chances are good, I'd be telling her that I didn't need it, so I donated it. Over and over and over. 

Mom has gotten better about calling and asking if I need this or that. And I can give her a mission, but that doesn't stop the extra stuff. If it still works, she hates to throw it out. Anyone need a VCR?



Did I mention she volunteers at a local charity thrift store 

[Bonny]

laterbloomer said:

I know to you this will sound like an oversimplification but I swear to you it works. Just stop appeasing her. When she asks give an honest answer, and "I don't remember" qualifies. If you get something you actually like say so. Otherwise donate it and move on. It is not your job in life to appease your mothers issues. If you stop appeasing her she will stop "demanding" it.

Later, sometimes you just "get it". DH and I spend so much time "appeasing" my MIL instead of just repeating over and over again "I'm sorry you feel that way".

We've seen MIL have the equivalent of an adult "melt-down" and even get violent when she doesn't get her way. Oh well, too bad and so sad.

POTD!