Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 25, 2011 12:51:32 GMT -5
I normally don't give money to people on the street. But, this morning it was windy & snowing & there was an elderly man that I passed on my way to work. He had a walker & I could see from the tracks that he had already walked at least 2 blocks with it.
He said he was on his way to get food & asked if I had any money. He seemed so nice & the situation was so sad that I gave him $5.
What would you have done?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2011 12:52:08 GMT -5
I'm the walking Man. I walk on by.
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Urban Chicago
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Post by Urban Chicago on Feb 25, 2011 12:54:19 GMT -5
I really resent it when they ask me while I'm walking alone or with my kids, as it really feels more like intimidation.
When I'm in a large group, I've been known to empty my pocket change, but I never, ever pull out my wallet.
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Post by illinicheme on Feb 25, 2011 13:02:38 GMT -5
I went to grad school at Berkeley, so was asked for spare change at least 10 times a day every day for 4.5 years. I'm so programmed to blow right by people that I often don't notice when someone is legitimately asking for directions. Sometimes DH and I will be walking through the city and suddenly I'll realize he's half a block behind me, giving directions to someone.
As for what I'd have done in the situation in the OP, I might have given cash in that instance if I had any. (That's my other problem, I usually don't have anything smaller than a $20 to give someone anyway. Would also never pull out my wallet like UrbanChicago said.)
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Feb 25, 2011 13:08:00 GMT -5
I mostly don't, though sometimes I do. I would have wanted to do something for that old man in the cold with a walker.
I work downtown in my little city, and I get panhandled A LOT. Three times now at the ATM, that ticks me off. There are a number of places downtown which feed anyone who shows up for free. So when I'm downtown, I know damn well the money I am being asked for isn't for food. So no thanks, not interested in helping you buy booze or drugs.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Feb 25, 2011 13:24:57 GMT -5
When at a drive-thru at McDs I purchased a large breakfast for a very skinny guy sitting on the curb drinking a cup of coffee. I asked the lady in the window if the guy had a meal and she said he only purchased the coffee. She took the meal to him and as I was driving away I saw him accept it and eat it.
I learned a long time ago to buy a meal, never give funds.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 25, 2011 13:26:56 GMT -5
I mostly don't, though sometimes I do. I would have wanted to do something for that old man in the cold with a walker. I work downtown in my little city, and I get panhandled A LOT. Three times now at the ATM, that ticks me off. There are a number of places downtown which feed anyone who shows up for free. So when I'm downtown, I know damn well the money I am being asked for isn't for food. So no thanks, not interested in helping you buy booze or drugs. Yikes, they're begging from you AT the ATM machine?!? That would scare the bejesus outta me... When I was working, it was downtown in a very large city, so there were lots and lots of people begging for change all the time. I once calculated that if I gave a quarter to every one I saw every day, it would cost me over $1,000 per year That being said, sometimes I think that because I've seen literally thousands of people begging for change (and a lot of the ones I used to see day after day were "fakers" IMHO), I'm just desensitized to it. I would want to help someone genuinely in need, but much like someone else commented, I think I'm so jaded now and so "programmed" to keep on walking that I may not have even noticed a person who truly needed help.
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Feb 25, 2011 13:30:42 GMT -5
Very, very, very RARELY would I give cash.
Usually I will offer to buy food (or I will buy it and give it to them).
Sometimes I just walk on by.... usually for people who seem to be completely able-bodied, healthy, and just sort of scammers.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2011 13:37:18 GMT -5
Never ever ever...period.. I do give them food though.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 25, 2011 13:40:13 GMT -5
No, I never do. Call me cold hearted but I am not taking any chances reaching into my purse and getting someone change. I donate to the Salvation Army, Goodwill and other charities that are equipped to help homelesss people.
I am not risking my safety to feel like a good person by giving a homeless person cash.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 25, 2011 13:52:53 GMT -5
I think it is funny that so many mentioned it being a safety issue. I could see that being an issue in many situations, but given that the man was around 60 & I had seen him needing the walker to move, I wasn't too concerned. We were also standing in such a way that he would have had to move around the walker to even get to me. I guess he could have tried to throw it at me, LOL.
Like I said I rarely give money. I pretty much never give money to people that are sitting & asking passerbys or sitting & holding a sign. I guess it was a combination of his age, the weather, the walker, & the fact he was clearly on his way somewhere - he even told me the shop he was heading to (although he could have been lying & I didn't have the time to watch to see what he really did). I also had never seen this man before & there are many homeless people/beggers that I see on an almost daily basis.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 25, 2011 13:58:22 GMT -5
I mostly don't, though sometimes I do. I would have wanted to do something for that old man in the cold with a walker. Yeah, me too.
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Post by ca on Feb 25, 2011 14:07:52 GMT -5
I live downtown Toronto at Yonge & Dundas Square, which pretty much has beggars 100% of the time. If I gave everytime I was asked I'd be homeless too. So I have learned to auto tune them out.
It's sexist, but when it's a woman who is in her 30s or older, I feel more compelled to give. And species-ist, but when they have animals, I want to give too.
But when able bodied men ask, I kinda hate them. I know they are there because they have severe mental issues and/or addictions more than anything, but I still do.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Feb 25, 2011 14:10:47 GMT -5
I have before but not often. If I hand someone a few dollars I don't care what they spend it on. Never offered to buy anyone a meal but my grandfather told me stories of when he did that because he didn't want to give money. A few times people turned him down after they talked about how much they needed money for food. Most of the times though people were happy to take him up on it so he'd buy them a meal at a diner and just sit there and talk with them.
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Post by greeneyedchicka on Feb 25, 2011 14:32:05 GMT -5
I have before as well, but not any more. There is a very popular corner near where I live that has the same five "homeless" people there ALL of the time. I joke with my son that they must have a schedule drawn up because they are never there at the same time, or you see them handing off the sign as one leaves and one comes. I also watched one of them leave one night, as I sat at a red light. Darned if he did not go to the gas station on the corner, get on his Moped and leave! I may be tainted, but I can't justify giving money to people like that.
Like dramaq, I give to charities like the Salvation Army, Goodwill, various ones at work, etc.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Feb 25, 2011 14:41:46 GMT -5
When DH worked, he would pass the same homeless people on a regular basis, and he'd always stop and talk to them, a friendly hi and a smile. For his "favorites" (the nice, never pushy people) he would regularly pull a couple dollars out of his wallet. (I never have cash on me.) Mostly though, we tend to have random snacks in the car - whether we packed too many for work, or just wanted to have something in case we got hungry doing errands - and we give those. Its generally a granola bar or a piece of fruit, something along those lines. 5+ years ago, we used to see a family with a toddler on a regular basis, so we always made sure to have something in the car the toddler could eat that we could give them. We are more likely to give to people with pets. We've talked many times about bagging up some dry dog food and carrying it around to hand out. Some day, I'd like to start a charity that helps homeless folks care for their pets.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 25, 2011 14:49:13 GMT -5
When you do that you get packs of them like Tampa has. It makes the whole area seem ghetto and unsafe. The council is too chicken shit to do what needs to be done which is what the other cities have done which is outlawing panhandling.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 25, 2011 14:50:54 GMT -5
I gotta say, I used to first go to school and then work in downtown of a decent size city for years and I have never ever saw people with pets. Children? Yes. Supposedly pregnant women? Yes. But never pets
Lena
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 25, 2011 14:53:32 GMT -5
A few days ago a guy asked DH for some cash. He happened to have a application for his job with him, so he handed it to the guy & told him they were hiring. I'm sure they'll never see the guy.
I've seen quite a few homeless people in Denver & Las Vegas that had pets. One guy had a dog & a bunny. I haven't noticed any with pets around here though.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 25, 2011 14:57:51 GMT -5
I know there is some lady out here that does hand out bagged dog food once a month. I have no idea if she funds this herself, or is part of charity. We had an acquaintance that used to go gets the free bags for his mom each month & after a while he started bringing some bags over to us. I asked him to stop because if every person that has a dog starts going to get free bags, then she is just going to stop giving them out & the people that actually need them won't get any. I can afford dog food & have some stuff that I could cut from the budget before the dogs risk going hungry.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 25, 2011 15:19:53 GMT -5
I think it is funny that so many mentioned it being a safety issue. I could see that being an issue in many situations, but given that the man was around 60 & I had seen him needing the walker to move, I wasn't too concerned. We were also standing in such a way that he would have had to move around the walker to even get to me. I guess he could have tried to throw it at me, LOL.
I hate to be cynical, but how do you know that the walker wasn't a prop?
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 25, 2011 15:23:33 GMT -5
If I'm driving and they are in a convenient spot, I'll give them a dollar if I have it. Our town has few beggars. I just became alarmed at doing this as they could jerk the car door open or something. I'll just donate to the food bank.
I tried giving bagged lunches with vienna sausages, bottled water, fruit cup, and snack bar; but DH talked me out of that.
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jeffreymo
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Post by jeffreymo on Feb 25, 2011 15:24:41 GMT -5
I used to give pocket change all the time to the panhandlers when I lived on campus. I was too young to really know that they probably weren't "homeless"per se.
I haven't given a dime to a street person since those days. I really only encounter them when I go to sporting events which is only a couple times per year. I suppose that some of my charitable contributions make their way to some "real" homeless people.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Feb 25, 2011 15:28:59 GMT -5
I hate to be cynical, but how do you know that the walker wasn't a prop? Oh, I have no idea if the walker was a prop, it very well could have been to create empathy. But, he was definitely a ~60 yr old man & even if he didn't need the walker, he still would have had to move around it to get to me & I'm pretty confident I could have outrun his old ass had I needed to do so. I suppose he could have had a gun or knife, but then he could have come at me with one of those without needing to bother with the walker charade at all. Maybe I am missing something, but I really didn't feel my safety was at risk by stopping to talk with him - I would have had to walk by him either way because he was headed down the sidewalk in my direction.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Feb 25, 2011 15:36:00 GMT -5
My brother is a cat petter for the dog pound and tells me they give out cat, dog food and cat litter that is donated. People who can't feed their pets get a gallon zip bag of dog food or some cans of cat food and bag of litter. He is retired air force so can go to the base to shop. Before Christmas he spent $1,000 on food, litter and zip top bags for the pound to hand out. Now he took a training class on cat petting so knows to check the hall for dogs, clean the pens and hand washing between pets. He takes cats to a room and pets them because he doesn't like to see them spend all the time in cages. Some cats like to lay on a lap and purr and some want to play. It is a good volunteer job except when they put cats to sleep that you know.
The pound gets one brand of food wholesale at a great price so all donations are given to people.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2011 15:45:10 GMT -5
Please don't give homeless people money. You're not helping them. You are just making yourself feel better thinking that you've helped.
If you feel compelled to give them something, give them food. That's what DF and I do, and about half the time they don't even want it...that says a lot. Just last weekend, DF and I were walking down a busy street after dinner and there was a homeless guy asking for money; my DF handed him our to-go bag from the hot meal we had just eaten. As we walked away, I watched as he opened the bag, scoffed, and threw it out in the street.
90% of the time they aren't collecting money to buy food. They can get food for free at the shelter or other places.
By giving them money, you're just helping them buy their next high. You're just an enabler. Yes, it's harsh, but let's be honest with ourselves.
I know this isn't ALWAYS the case, but unfortunately it generally is.
EDIT: I'm not trying to be overly harsh or an insensitive jerk; I just think there are better options than giving money.
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Feb 25, 2011 16:08:28 GMT -5
Please don't give homeless people money. You're not helping them. You are just making yourself feel better thinking that you've helped. If you feel compelled to give them something, give them food. That's what DF and I do, and about half the time they don't even want it...that says a lot. Just last weekend, DF and I were walking down a busy street after dinner and there was a homeless guy asking for money; my DF handed him our to-go bag from the hot meal we had just eaten. As we walked away, I watched as he opened the bag, scoffed, and threw it out in the street. 90% of the time they aren't collecting money to buy food. They can get food for free at the shelter or other places. By giving them money, you're just helping them buy their next high. You're just an enabler. Yes, it's harsh, but let's be honest with ourselves. (I know this isn't ALWAYS the case, but unfortunately it generally is). Aren't we high and mighty up on our pedestal... I'll give $1 or 2 if I'm at a red light and the person is close. I will roll my window down just enough to slip the money out (maybe an inch), just to be safe. I figure, you know, i won't starve without that $1, but that person might. And if they just use it to get high? well, I'll never know, and it won't hurt me anyway. People who want to use drugs or abuse alcohol will with or without my $1. Anyhow, I don't think it is right to tell others who and how we should give. If you don't want to give your $1, that's fine, but don't act like I'm creating drug addicts just because I give my dollar. P.S. Gasp! The homeless guy didn't want your half-eaten leftovers? how dare they! Don't they know that since you have money and can afford food, you are better than them, and your half eaten leftovers are better than gold. Sheesh! (I'd have been insulted if someone gave me half eaten leftovers).
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Clever Username
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Post by Clever Username on Feb 25, 2011 16:16:38 GMT -5
The sooner they make the intuitive leap between work, money and security, they will be better off.
Indirectly, yes I'm quite charitable, St Vincent DePaul and lots given to charity resale shops. Directly, you're often just making things worse.
I've been at my job 5 years. Every night on the way to the train, the same two guys are there. One with a sign, one selling Streetwise. If they are that reliable, they are employable.
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daylight
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Post by daylight on Feb 25, 2011 16:18:44 GMT -5
I went to university and have been working downtown in my country's capital for more than a decade. If I gave money to everyone who is asking (and very few people can actually walk fast enough to walk up to me), I'd blow at least 15% of my salary on the homeless. I give to charity. I do feel heartless sometimes. It is very difficult to get a job without having a home address.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Feb 25, 2011 16:29:52 GMT -5
When my DOD came to visit a few years ago, he gave money to the guy whose sign said "Let's be honest, I want a beer"
As for the "the walker could be a prop" and "they could jerk the car door open" folks, do you really live your lives in that much fear? Or is it just fear of the other? I mean, do you look at the folks on the street with suits on, or even jeans and t-shirt and think to yourself "Better not talk to that guy, he might try and rob me"? Or when you're stopped at a stop light, and a pedestrian cuts the from the sidewalk to the crosswalk coming right next to your car, do you think "I'd better lock the doors, he could jerk my car door open"? In either case, is it different if the person is male and black? Honestly. How do you live with such constant fear? Maybe because some of my friends lived on the streets for a while, or maybe just because I've made a conscious decision not to live my life in fear, I just can't imagine not stopping to talk to someone, to treat them like a human being, because "the walker might be a prop". Yes, many of the people who are homeless have mental illnesses, but the odds of one of them being a danger to you is not any greater than that of any other person on the street. Homeless people are still people. I'm not saying you have to give money to them, or food, or clothing or anything else. Do whatever you're comfortable with. I'm just asking that you take a moment to examine your own prejudices, and don't try to convice me that I'm placing myself in danger by talking to a homeless person, or passing them a dollar from my car window.
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