Do you give money to the homeless?

[herekittykitty]

Feb 25, 2011 12:51:32 GMT -5 Angel! said:

I normally don't give money to people on the street. But, this morning it was windy & snowing & there was an elderly man that I passed on my way to work. He had a walker & I could see from the tracks that he had already walked at least 2 blocks with it.

He said he was on his way to get food & asked if I had any money. He seemed so nice & the situation was so sad that I gave him $5.

What would you have done?

Wow...whether it was legit or not, I would have forked over for this one, too!

[dcmetrocrab]

I get panhandled all the time by the homeless people living on the stoop of my apartment building, the ones that gather around subway stops on my daily commute, etc. I never give money. In the OP's situation, I wouldn't have given any $$, mainly because I never carry cash. If I had food, I would have gladly handed it over.

[zibazinski]

Bitter or more realistic? I know you think it's okay to give booze money to panhandlers cuz it makes them/you feel good but the fact is they only ask for more, they don't use it to better themselves. Same as welfare.

[zibazinski]

Trapped at a stoplight, stalked by the ATM, this is why you shouldn't give money to panhandlers. It's intimidation and extortion. But you keep on your mission to save the world one panhandler at a time. I just hope the one you gave doesn't hurt someone who doesn't.

[zibazinski]

There are now people who run the lights so what do the cops do? Install red light cameras to catch them and make more money but do they get rid of the street corner extortionists? No way. A woman was attacked, but, oh yes, the panhandler was arrested thanks to the red light camera. Priceless.

[isabella]

Nope, don't give money to the ones who claim homeless standing on street corners with signs. I was cured of thinking I'm helping someone by handing them a few bucks. I gave one man who was standing on a busy corner with a sign that he was a homeless disabled vet, was standing somewhat twisted body with a cane type walker was moving about with a severe limp ... gave him a few bucks, went about my business of going through a drive thru for lunch and when I drove past the corner where I saw this man standing, gone ... and, as I gazed up a hill I saw him walking just fine carrying his walker cane thing. Never again will I 'help' someone in this manner.

[zibazinski]

If you try to ignore them, they scream at you and bang on your car. It's gotten so people avoid turning and go out of their way to avoid those streets but they are everywhere. The "council" made some noise about keeping them off the main streets but "folded" due to pressure from NON-taxpayers. We'll remember come time to vote who chickened out.

[Deleted]

We have a local group called the Red Shirts who go around the main hang outs of the homeless and check on them and encourage them to get appropriate services. I donate to them. Sometimes money, sometimes coats or blankets, sometimes sugary treats like cake and donuts. On the very odd occasion I will give money directly but it is usually someone I have come to know a bit for some reason and I know a bit of their story. I tend to favour the mentally challenged. Often they are trying so hard but just can't.

The drunks and druggies I say no to. I only have so much money and they aren't my priority.

[binl1908]

The beggars are more sophisticated in my neighborhood I guess. I came out of a store in a local strip mall when a young woman stopped me and said that she lost her ride and needed three dollars for a cab home (no busses around here). I guess the request for a specific dollar amount threw me off, so I gave it to her. Then I saw her apparently doing it again a couple of days later to someone else. Oh well, I didn't need that three bucks anyway, I probably would a bought an ice cream cone at the next store...

[Elizabeth]

Feb 27, 2011 11:10:16 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

If you try to ignore them, they scream at you and bang on your car. It's gotten so people avoid turning and go out of their way to avoid those streets but they are everywhere. The "council" made some noise about keeping them off the main streets but "folded" due to pressure from NON-taxpayers. We'll remember come time to vote who chickened out.

The screaming and banging has happened to me before while I was sitting at a stop light. It is incredibly scary! Another time a homeless man once tried to put his hand in my window to open my door. Luckily I was following DH somewhere at the time, so he saw it happening in his rearview mirror and got out of his car and started running at the guy threatening to kill his @$$ if he didn't get away from me and the man ran off. Now I make sure my windows are up and I just don't look at them when they walk by with their signs.
On other occassions though, I have given money when it has seemed right. One elderly man approached me at the gas station, and something about him seemed sincere. It was raining and actually really cold, and this was in Arizona. I gave him a $5 because that's all I had, because I normally don't carry any cash. He teared up and thanks me profusely, then I did see him and what I assumed to be his wife walk into the Dunkin' Donuts next door. I have also given money to a teenage girl when I overheard her crying on her cell phone that she made it to the gas station but had no money for gas.
Yes, these things do make me feel good about myself for helping. But I am very cautious as well. I think the decision to help has to be made on a case by case basis.

[share88]

Feb 25, 2011 15:19:53 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I think it is funny that so many mentioned it being a safety issue. I could see that being an issue in many situations, but given that the man was around 60 & I had seen him needing the walker to move, I wasn't too concerned. We were also standing in such a way that he would have had to move around the walker to even get to me. I guess he could have tried to throw it at me, LOL.

I hate to be cynical, but how do you know that the walker wasn't a prop?

I was thinking that too.

[Angel!]

At any rate, worse than the beggar might be the young predator you did not notice.

Geez, you people are unbelievably cynical & apparently seem to think I don't pay attention to my surroundings at all. But, then again, some of you seem to live in much tougher areas. I've never had anyone bang on my car or even approach it at a stoplight & never had anyone follow me at an ATM or anything like that. The homeless out here are pretty mellow. This was just a guy who happened to be walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction that I was walking.

And honestly, yes, I could have bought him a meal instead of handing him $5, but there isn't much difference really. I guess it would have made me sure that MY $5 was spent on food, but that doesn't mean the next $5 won't be spent on alcohol or drugs or gambling. And if everyone stops giving money, as some have suggested, then many homeless will just turn to stealing food, returning stolen items at walmart, selling foodstamps, etc. To somehow think that just not giving them cash will make them get a job & live within the system is naive in itself. I'm not saying people should give them money, but just saying that even if no one gave them money, then the problem won't go away.

Also, right now jobs are incredibly hard to get around here & the only place I know that is hiring unskilled labor is 20 miles outside of town & buses don't run there, so if you don't have a car, then you are SOL. So, someone not having a job might be for more reasons than they just are lazy or don't want one.

Maybe he went & got drunk, who knows. But, regardless, I probably made his morning & I can't feel bad about that.

[shanendoah]

I don't think people who don't give money to the homeless are bad people. I pretty much never carry cash (I can't resist the siren call of the vending machine), so I don't give. DH does occassionally. We used to regularly give food to people on the street, but our schedules are different now, so that doesn't happen. We do donate to food banks every year.
The people DH gives money to are generally people he's talked to. As his father was an alcoholic, he doesn't give money to anyone who smells like booze. These men almost certainly spend their nights in shelters, but especially right now, there aren't any jobs, and its not like they can sit around the shelter all day.
We do have one young man (late 20s would be my guess) who stands around near the mall with his sign. He's dressed like a construction worker (heavy duty jeans, and shirt, work boots, etc). We haven't given money to him, but I remember thinking the first time I saw him- I bet his wife doesn't even know he's not working. She probably thinks he still gets up every morning and is going to a work site. And he probably does go to every worksite he knows of every morning to see if there's work, and then stands on the side of the road in the afternoons.
So, not all pan handlers are homeless, and not all homeless are pan handlers

Firebird: There is a difference between being cautious when driving through a sketchy neighborhood at 2am (my car doors would be locked too, though my car does that for me) and thinking the guy standing at the freeway off ramp at rush hour might try and break in your car. Does it happen sometimes? Yes. But so do car accidents and plane crashes. I believe in exercising appropriate caution, but I refuse to believe that every homeless person is out to get me, or is even any more likely to be a mugger than the guy over there in clean jeans and t-shirt. And, I choose to live my life with the assumption that neither of them are.
I'm also not saying that I don't have any prejudices. I do. I'm just asking people to be aware of theirs', and to think before they make assumptions.

As for the person who said kids aren't homeless, they go in to foster care, having been through foster care training, that's not true. The state hates to take kids away from parents, and there's just not enough foster homes to make that feasible, any way. If it were the case, we wouldn't need any shelters that took in kids because the second kids showed up, social services would be called and off the kids would be taken, Of course, that would prevent even more people from seeking help, because they don't want their families to be broken up.

[Firebird]

I do feel bad when beggars have children, because obviously it isn't the kids' fault that their parents got into a crappy situation.

frugalnurse, I agree with the posters who said that your family made good because your dad stepped up. Don't you think that things would have been different had your family been reliant on constant handouts, rather than grateful for their occasional help? The way I see it, your family was grateful for free food but not dependent on it. And meanwhile, your parents depended only on themselves to actually CHANGE the situation in the long term.

I think your family deserves a lot of karma, by the way. That must have been heartbreaking for your parents, but it sounds like they really stepped up and made the best of it.

[Firebird]

To somehow think that just not giving them cash will make them get a job & live within the system is naive in itself. I'm not saying people should give them money, but just saying that even if no one gave them money, then the problem won't go away.

I don't think it would make them automatically become income-producing citizens, but it would cause them to seek other alternatives. I think that if everyone stopped giving money, those shelters they look down on might start looking pretty good to them after all.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that people who give money are contributing to the problem, but I don't think they're helping it either.

As for the person who said kids aren't homeless, they go in to foster care, having been through foster care training, that's not true. The state hates to take kids away from parents, and there's just not enough foster homes to make that feasible, any way.

Frankly, I find that ridiculous. No, I don't think we should start yelling OMG NEGLECT every time a parent is on foodstamps, but not being able to provide basic housing for your child isn't considered abuse?

I get your point about not seeking help, though, if the response was to immediately take kids away. I still just don't think kids ought to be homeless, though. At the VERY least, I wish there was a better way of tracking homeless kids so that if progress wasn't being made to better their living situation, THEN the parents might be at risk for having them taken away.

[woodwand]

A friend of mine has a brother who does this for a "living" and supports a wife & three kids in a nice house. He's a real embarrassment to her and his other sibs.

Then, there are guys like this:
www.theblaze.com/stories/armless-vet-caught-on-camera-with-both-hands/

I give a goodly amount to the Salvation Army every month, never to an individual.

[Angel!]

I believe in exercising appropriate caution, but I refuse to believe that every homeless person is out to get me, or is even any more likely to be a mugger than the guy over there in clean jeans and t-shirt. And, I choose to live my life with the assumption that neither of them are.
I'm also not saying that I don't have any prejudices. I do. I'm just asking people to be aware of theirs', and to think before they make assumptions.

Very well put. Yes, there are people that might harm you, but most people won't & it does no good to walk through life assuming everyone is out to get you.

A little sidenote - 3 people were stabbed last night, literally right in the spot I stopped & gave the homeless guy money. It had nothing to do with a homeless person, a robbery, or even a random act of violence though. It was right outside a biker bar & apparently some people got into an argument & decided to take it outside.

[Firebird]

Very well put. Yes, there are people that might harm you, but most people won't & it does no good to walk through life assuming everyone is out to get you.

To be perfectly honest, it's not so much that I'm afraid as much as I just want to be left the hell alone most of the time. Especially after work when I am generally not in a terrific frame of mind and all I can think about is getting home.

I'm wary of homeless people, but I don't actually expect to be attacked. (My comment about waiting at stoplights earlier was meant to underscore the fact that a lot of the people hanging out at those hours are the same people that are begging by day). It's more that I don't want to be bothered.

[Angel!]

To be perfectly honest, it's not so much that I'm afraid as much as I just want to be left the hell alone most of the time.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be left alone. I haven't seen it around here, but I certainly wouldn't appreciate being harrassed by beggers, or anyone else for that matter. My comment was more in reference to the posters (I'm not really sure if you were one of them) that kept mentioning that my safety was likely at risk. I pay attention to my surroundings & exercise reasonable caution, but can't go through life assuming that everyone is out to go me.

[Firebird]

Fear is definitely not my main emotion when I see beggars. I don't think I said that (I might have implied it, though). Mostly I was saying that I can understand people for whom it is. Even if it's just a prejudice, I don't think it's a totally unreasonable one.

[sunshinegal1981]

I've never given to panhandlers, and used to let others make me feel guilty about it, until a few years ago, when I was taking a summer course at my university.

I took the same route to school every morning, and always passed the same middle aged lady, sitting on the sidewalk and begging with a cardboard sign. Then one day, I noticed that she was wearing some pretty snazzy sneakers, for a homeless, destitute person. A fluke? Perhaps some kindly stranger had given her new shoes?

Next day, I made sure to take a closer look. Yep, BRAND NEW SNEAKERS!!! Except.... today, it was a DIFFERENT pair than yesterday!!! Huh?!

Third day: Well well, yet ANOTHER pair of different, BRAND NEW shoes!

Three days, three different pairs of fresh, shiny new sneakers? Say whaaaaat?

I no longer feel guilty about keeping my cash to myself. One day, when I have paid off all my debts and taken care of retirement planning, I will probably give to an organization that helps the needy. But I will never give to panhandlers.