Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 26, 2014 12:37:06 GMT -5
It doesn't add up because we're dealing with humans.
Like I said, she is the one leading the charge on bitching and moaning about our owner. Not me, but as of late there have been some major upheavals that have upset everyone, and me as well for the first time.
I'm not fearful so much as wary. She is really emotional and takes things personally. I've learn to treat her with kid gloves over the years. And despite it all, she's still a friend. Not a close friend, but a friend still. I wouldn't rat her out or ever say anything bad about her except on an anonymous forum.
She is only responsible for judging my technical performance. her boss (owner) was my direct for three years, and my professionalism has never been in doubt.
You can take my word or not. Because at the end of the day, I can be just a pimply teenager with a wicked sense of humor who likes pretending to be a middle aged woman.
And IMO, a small part of our team building ness is bitching about senior management, who has actually been very incompetent in the past two years. It truly does foster a certain sense of togetherness when we see things from the same perspective. And I know every single person there well enough to say that a swearing session would be very much appreciated! Swearing in the culture that I work has a strong place.
You're just going to have to take my word on it though. but if you choose not to believe that I can properly judge the people and work mood of the people that I've been working with for over 7 years. then, all right. No skin off my nose!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 26, 2014 13:21:49 GMT -5
Well, try to sit as far away as possible and ignore/don't help out the kids. She's the one inflicting them on others, her problem. DFs stepdaughter in law thinks her kid is welcome everywhere, too, especially adult functions. She can't understand why they aren't invited to a lot of things anymore and I don't care enough to tell her. Why should I be the bad guy? She thinks her kid is adorable. The rest of us know better.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Apr 26, 2014 16:44:39 GMT -5
I'm a parent who gets annoyed when people take their kids to places they shouldn't be. I have however clarified before on if something is kid friendly or not, and when doing so I prefer a yes or no answer. To me your answer about the restaurant not being kid friendly leaves room for the idea that this isn't a restaurant that will have crayons and a coloring place mat, so bring your own kid activities. I also wonder is anyone bringing their SO? If so then it seems more family leaning.
Another thought if she just up and said I can't come because I can't find a babysitter how would that look? Could she fell pressured that this is an unspoken mandatory event? That is will reflect bad on her if she doesn't show up. Then in that case she is kind of in a dam if you do, dam if you don't situation.
You also said that you will not okay the meal cost for the kids, make sure she knows that up front. Somehow I can see either way that being able to come back and bite you. If you don't cover it and she complains to her boss about it, make sure her boss or the owner agrees with it. In other word this is something I would pass the buck on, talk to who ever you put you in charge and just say, "X has informed me that she is planning to bringing her kids, do you want me to remind her that this was planned for employees only so she will need to cover the kids meal cost?" That will leave the boss opened to saying, NO tell her not to bring the kids, yes have her pay for the kids, or just have the tab cover them. And it will CYA you all the way.
VA
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 26, 2014 17:02:17 GMT -5
No, no and no. It's a BUSINESS/working dinner - not a social gathering or company planned "family" event..
It's not much different that being in the office - just a different venue while still discussing/conducting business.
I'd tell the person who wants to bring their kid the same thing:
"Sorry, but no kids. This is not a social dinner - it's a company working dinner with staff only. If you cannot attend (can't get sitter, etc), I understand your absence - you will be filled in on what was discussed the next working day".
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Apr 26, 2014 17:39:02 GMT -5
@shooby because the my supervisor's boss is the one who is paying or otherwise the company, not my immediate supervisor with the bratty twins. It is the company, the president and owner who asked that I organize it. I would assume that she expects only employees to attend.I wouldn't assume I would ask. Is this suppose to be a mandatory working dinner, or a after hour nice thing the company is doing for it employees socially. Did the head boss pick the restaurant or did you. If picking the venue was up to you maybe your boss was thinking something more family friendly end result? There are so many types of "after hour" work events that I'm not sure which one this one was suppose to fall in. How much of the criteria was set by you and how much was set by the owner. I would over all just make sure that the vision I have of the social event, matched the vision the owner had as a CYA. Specially since it seems your direct boss has a differnt vision.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2014 21:39:25 GMT -5
I didnt read all answers but as the mother of a 2 year old with very limited choices for babysitters... If i ask if it is ok to bring my kid, i hope the organizer can be honest with me. If i ask, it is because i am not sure. Depending on the answer, i will make arrangements or decline. She was probably just asking and you couldnt give her a straight answer so you shouldnt really complain. It makes no difference that she is your boss.
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sunshinegal1981
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Post by sunshinegal1981 on Apr 27, 2014 16:05:34 GMT -5
I didnt read all answers but as the mother of a 2 year old with very limited choices for babysitters... If i ask if it is ok to bring my kid, i hope the organizer can be honest with me. If i ask, it is because i am not sure. Depending on the answer, i will make arrangements or decline. She was probably just asking and you couldnt give her a straight answer so you shouldnt really complain. It makes no difference that she is your boss.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 27, 2014 17:10:15 GMT -5
Even though this is YM Off-Topic, may I point out that with supervisor bringing (at least) two kids to a dinner intended for 6 people the cost is going to increase by 1/3! Or are the kids just going to sit there looking at the rest of you eating? Aside from whether it is appropriate to bring kids to a work related event, there seems to be nothing that justifies a cost increase like this "just because"... I'll be taking care of the expense sheet, and I would definitely not allow the children's meal be on the company's tab. She can have the kids there, but no way will the accounting manager not notice two extra meals. You better make sure "can't leave my kids at home mom" realizes this or you could have a nasty scene on your hands
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2014 17:26:20 GMT -5
"I'll be taking care of the expense sheet, and I would definitely not allow the children's meal be on the company's tab. She can have the kids there, but no way will the accounting manager not notice two extra meals."
You have basically said ok to bringing her kids. I think you telling her she has to pay for her kids' meals will make you look petty.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 27, 2014 20:37:56 GMT -5
She isn't stupid. Socially dense, but not stupid.
Our company has never allowed for paying for spouses or dates. The only event to which SOs are invited is the Christmas party, and it's always clearly marked on the invitation that spouses and bfs and gfs are pay their own way.
Given the culture of the local area in the country that I live in, I can tell you with absolute certainty that she will not expect the company to pay for her children. Period.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Apr 27, 2014 22:13:08 GMT -5
She isn't stupid. Socially dense, but not stupid. Our company has never allowed for paying for spouses or dates. The only event to which SOs are invited is the Christmas party, and it's always clearly marked on the invitation that spouses and bfs and gfs are pay their own way. Given the culture of the local area in the country that I live in, I can tell you with absolute certainty that she will not expect the company to pay for her children. Period. Then why would she think kids were appropriate?
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Apr 28, 2014 5:34:18 GMT -5
She isn't stupid. Socially dense, but not stupid. Our company has never allowed for paying for spouses or dates. The only event to which SOs are invited is the Christmas party, and it's always clearly marked on the invitation that spouses and bfs and gfs are pay their own way. Given the culture of the local area in the country that I live in, I can tell you with absolute certainty that she will not expect the company to pay for her children. Period. Given that, the only other reason I can think of is she can't find someone to watch the kids (and yes I think it is lame that dad can't), but feels it is unspoken mandatory that she be at this event. But neither are your problem.
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