wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Apr 25, 2014 15:36:37 GMT -5
The March reports for the Maryland casinos included one woman bringing her 2 year old into the casino at Anne Arundel. Some people have zero clue about where you should take kids.
Of course I was also shocked at the woman who hauled her baby in a carrier into the nail place today so she could get an eyebrow wax. I think the fumes in those places are pretty noxious I can't imagine tiny, not fully developed lungs.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Apr 25, 2014 15:39:00 GMT -5
I wouldn't bring DS and I try to be hypersensitive to all types of invites and whether or not it's appropriate to bring him. He's very well behaved and social.
I do however think you could simply address it honestly and say it in a way that softens the message. Perhaps frame it in the context of whether little Timmy and Sally would enjoy it. "Tonight is for adults only. This restaurant really caters to adults and I don't think the kids will enjoy it." I don't see any harm in that whatsoever.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Apr 25, 2014 15:41:53 GMT -5
Huh. I consider it socializing with coworkers after work. If beer and alcohol can attend, why not a kid? I dunno. Sorry we can't have happy hour together. It's not just co-workers randomly deciding to go out to a bar after work to blow off steam. The company is picking up the tab, and her children don't work for us. And I was really lookin forward to bitching about the new senior management!!! I think you'd be in more trouble doing this in front of your boss (career wise) than telling him/her not to bring kids.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 15:44:52 GMT -5
Why would you have to deal with someone else's kids? The only time I've taken my kid to a work function is when I'm travelling for work (we often travel as a family to meetings since my H and I are in the same field). So there might be an evening reception or something and yeah, I bring my child along. But we don't stay long, and we don't bother anyone (nor does my child) and we certainly don't rely on someone else to 'deal' with our child. But in general, no. I wouldn't bring my kid along because it's unprofessional. If I'm home and have a work function I can hire a babysitter. I don't think that I would be taking care of the children. Even if they misbehave, I'm not going to say anything or intervene. Other parents in general don't take kindly to that. They think it says something about their lack of parenting skills, which it does, but they hate having it pointed out to them. But the event is a small sit down dinner of 6 people. The children will make their presence known. We're talking toddlers here. They won't like mommy not paying attention to them, and they are not well behaved from my past experience with them. So when I say that I'll have to "deal" with them, it means that I will have to listen to them whine or cry or get fussy. We won't be able to have a leisurely adult conversation, which is really all I want in life right now!!! I hear enough, "mommy.... mommy.. and 1000 variations of the same questions." (like nails down a chalkboard!!!) I truly don't want hear the same shit from someone's kid. I don't hate kids by the way, truly. Even if it sounds like I do right now. If I had misbehaved at my mom's work and one of her coworkers had to say anything to me and then had told my mother, I would have been in so much trouble. My mom brought me to work events (approved by her boss), because she was a single working mother who in addition to working during the day, work 2-3 night meetings and occasional Saturday events. Then again, she not bring me until I behaved. But I learned to behave quick. I may have been a little shit at home, but you DON'T do that at work.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 15:48:22 GMT -5
I hate forced work socialization. I don't care who comes , kids or not. Put in appearance and get the heck out.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 25, 2014 16:07:36 GMT -5
Ok, I'm going to bite. I'm usually in bed by 9pm and asleep and I personally wouldn't take my child out to eat that late... BUT - not everybody is on the same schedule as me. So why can't a kid have dinner at 9 PM? Why shouldn't I go out to dinner with my family if I have to work late? As long as the child isn't being disruptive (which they shouldn't be no matter what the time of day is), what is the problem? It's totally not the same thing as exposing a child to an R rated movie. I'm thinking young kids - I have 15 and almost 13 year old step kids, they obviously aren't crying or fussing. I guess i've never seen a toddler aged kid who was happily quiet out late at a restaurant. They tend to be fussy, probably being up past their bedtimes. I'm sure there are occassions when they are not, it's the crying ones that get noticed. But, I'm not sure WHY you would want to keep a young child out past it's bedtime and run the risk of making everyone around you in a public place miserable I suppose. Because life doesn't always happen when its convenient or when we want it to, and facing bedtime with hungry kids is way worse than bedtime on a full stomach so every now and then we've risked public meltdowns in the hope of getting everyone a bite of hot food before passing out. And typically it works. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 25, 2014 16:22:28 GMT -5
The problem/annoyance isn't so much that parents bring out their kids late at night or to rather inappropriate places...it's that the majority of parents that do that just continue on with whatever they're doing while the kid has a meltdown instead of trying to calm them down/removing them. It's the crappy people that do that that stick in everyone's mind the next time they see a kid.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 25, 2014 17:08:20 GMT -5
I wouldn't bring DS and I try to be hypersensitive to all types of invites and whether or not it's appropriate to bring him. He's very well behaved and social. I do however think you could simply address it honestly and say it in a way that softens the message. Perhaps frame it in the context of whether little Timmy and Sally would enjoy it. "Tonight is for adults only. This restaurant really caters to adults and I don't think the kids will enjoy it." I don't see any harm in that whatsoever. You don't think I did frame it that way? I did. She still wanted to bring her children. She isn't part of senior management. She's often the one leading the charge about complaints about senior management, and honestly as of late, there had been some major upheavals in management turnover. we've gone through three director of operations in 4 months. we are far from headquarters so the gossip we get filtered is not to be trusted. I was really looking at this opportunity of putting out feelers about what the situation is at headquarters and so if there was any bitching to be done, it would have gone like this, "what the fuck is going on?" And I know them well enough to swear with them. She says her children are well behaved and won't be a problem, but they're not. It always seems like the parents who say their childten are well behaved are the most clueless about their own children. Every one tells me my children are angels, but I know the truth. I always lift one eyebrow when they tell me that. Children are children, even when they are well behaved. Asking them to be sit in a formal restaurant without a separate children's menu and crayons for three hours is just wrong to the kids and the adults.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:14:34 GMT -5
I kind of don't see the problem. You organized an event and people are coming. So there are a few kids there? Would you rather that person just stay home ?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:16:56 GMT -5
What exactly is this? Is this a business dinner or a social event?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:27:35 GMT -5
Well not everyone thinks that way. So she's bringing the kids so make the best of it.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 25, 2014 17:28:06 GMT -5
sit down dinner for our region's office (very small regional office) to socialize and team build.
We are far away from headquarters and our major city offices, so we all work from home. We are often isolated and making it to happy hours and other social work events is too hard for us when they are located 4-7 hours away, so therefore the initiative to bring everyone in the region together even though we are all spread out within the region.
So definitely work related, funded by our company, already approved by the powers that be! And not just me, being social and inviting my work colleagues out.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:29:13 GMT -5
The boss is gonna do what the boss wanna do! Lol
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 25, 2014 17:29:38 GMT -5
When no one else is. Where there will only be 6 coworkers and the company is picking up the tab. At a place that has no kids menu.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 25, 2014 17:33:22 GMT -5
I think I'd probably tell her that, after speaking with other attendees, the consensus seems to be in favor of adults only for this shindig, but perhaps she could plan a family-friendly outing for some future date.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:34:56 GMT -5
Oh sure. Run right down to the boos' s office to complain about her guest list for a dinner the OP isn't paying for.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 25, 2014 17:36:33 GMT -5
Yep. I'm planning it, others want it to be adults only. I've got no problem with letting her know this isn't the place for her kids. No problem, at all.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:41:32 GMT -5
If I was the boss I would wonder why you don't have better things to do at work than trying to control the guest list of a party you aren't paying for.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 25, 2014 17:46:47 GMT -5
@shooby because the my supervisor's boss is the one who is paying or otherwise the company, not my immediate supervisor with the bratty twins.
It is the company, the president and owner who asked that I organize it. I would assume that she expects only employees to attend.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:49:06 GMT -5
I didn't say I would bring my kids sooo this has nothing to do with me. If the boss brings her kids then what are you going to do? Sit at the dinner and give her the evil eye and spend all evening telling yourself what a selfis bitch she is? Yeah sounds like a great time.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:50:28 GMT -5
@shooby because the my supervisor's boss is the one who is paying or otherwise the company, not my immediate supervisor with the bratty twins. It is the company, the president and owner who asked that I organize it. I would assume that she expects only employees to attend. Well then go clarify what it is. Maybe she thinks this is an informal get together.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 25, 2014 17:51:11 GMT -5
That's the way I'd understood it, Sunnyday. Your immediate supervisor isn't paying for this shindig and her boss probably isn't expecting to provide a meal for her child(ren). She's a guest, just like everyone else, and should be expected to abide by the rules set down for everyone attending ... including no children if that's what the majority would prefer. I'd have no problem letting her know that.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 25, 2014 17:52:49 GMT -5
You can let her know anything you want. She may or may not change her mind.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 25, 2014 17:54:46 GMT -5
If I was the boss I would wonder why you don't have better things to do at work than trying to control the guest list of a party you aren't paying for. You aren't the boss, and rainyday has the assignment to make this thing happen. She's expected to control the guest list of this particular party since her company is paying for it and she's been assigned to plan and implement it.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 25, 2014 18:02:28 GMT -5
If the event is a small sit down dinner then kids absolutely have no place there. Grow a spine and tell the parent who wants to inflict their kids on their coworkers that upon further consideration you've determined this was meant to be a show of appreciation for employees only, and only employees are to attend. Done. Easy. To your boss? You would say that to your boss? She is responsible for any and all salary increases. She determines my work load. She determines my future at my work place. I guess I must not have a spine, but I just consider it office politics to say yes for things that ultimately don't matter to appease people who have a say in my future. In the end, it's one night. @shooby, I think that I'll just quote myself. There was never a point where I was going to say no or not be gracious to her no matter what personally feel about it. You need to learn how to read better instead of trying to find something to fight about with other posters. Seriously, you've been acting weird lately. Your posts have just been unnecessary combative when I'm essentially doing what you would do. Which is letting my supervisor do what she wants.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 25, 2014 19:17:29 GMT -5
Even though this is YM Off-Topic, may I point out that with supervisor bringing (at least) two kids to a dinner intended for 6 people the cost is going to increase by 1/3! Or are the kids just going to sit there looking at the rest of you eating? Aside from whether it is appropriate to bring kids to a work related event, there seems to be nothing that justifies a cost increase like this "just because"...
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 25, 2014 19:31:07 GMT -5
Since this is a business dinner, and also a working dinner, I'll echo most other's sentiments - "NO KIDS". It's work-related - not a social gathering or organized "family" event.
It's BUSINESS.
If someone cannot get a sitter, they should make their apologies for not being able to attend, and stay home with their kid(s). But kids should not be at a working lunch or dinner. Too much of a distraction and disruption to discussing business/brainstorming.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Apr 25, 2014 19:59:38 GMT -5
Even though this is YM Off-Topic, may I point out that with supervisor bringing (at least) two kids to a dinner intended for 6 people the cost is going to increase by 1/3! Or are the kids just going to sit there looking at the rest of you eating? Aside from whether it is appropriate to bring kids to a work related event, there seems to be nothing that justifies a cost increase like this "just because"... I'll be taking care of the expense sheet, and I would definitely not allow the children's meal be on the company's tab. She can have the kids there, but no way will the accounting manager not notice two extra meals.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 25, 2014 20:09:25 GMT -5
@shooby because the my supervisor's boss is the one who is paying or otherwise the company, not my immediate supervisor with the bratty twins. It is the company, the president and owner who asked that I organize it. I would assume that she expects only employees to attend. Then tell the boss the supervisor wants to bring her kids. Let boss handle it.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Apr 26, 2014 11:32:35 GMT -5
I wouldn't bring DS and I try to be hypersensitive to all types of invites and whether or not it's appropriate to bring him. He's very well behaved and social. I do however think you could simply address it honestly and say it in a way that softens the message. Perhaps frame it in the context of whether little Timmy and Sally would enjoy it. "Tonight is for adults only. This restaurant really caters to adults and I don't think the kids will enjoy it." I don't see any harm in that whatsoever. You don't think I did frame it that way? I did. She still wanted to bring her children. She isn't part of senior management. She's often the one leading the charge about complaints about senior management, and honestly as of late, there had been some major upheavals in management turnover. we've gone through three director of operations in 4 months. we are far from headquarters so the gossip we get filtered is not to be trusted. I was really looking at this opportunity of putting out feelers about what the situation is at headquarters and so if there was any bitching to be done, it would have gone like this, "what the fuck is going on?" And I know them well enough to swear with them. She says her children are well behaved and won't be a problem, but they're not. It always seems like the parents who say their childten are well behaved are the most clueless about their own children. Every one tells me my children are angels, but I know the truth. I always lift one eyebrow when they tell me that. Children are children, even when they are well behaved. Asking them to be sit in a formal restaurant without a separate children's menu and crayons for three hours is just wrong to the kids and the adults. Something doesn't add up here.. She is in charge of your raise so you're fearful to be direct and tell her not to bring her kids, but you have no problem cussing and complaining about senior management in front of her? I manage people and I have to say that the child conversation would not color my perception of your professionalism, but cussing and complaining about other management would have me questioning you.
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