As My Fostering World Turns

[Deleted]

I decided to start a new thread as I have a new girl moving in.

For those that are just joining us;

I have been fostering since 2011. I refer to the first girl I got as GW (Girl Wonder). I really lucked out and she is an awesome young lady. She has no "behaviours", she's 17 now and she has come to Europe, Disney World and Asia with me. She has one more year of high school.

The second girl I got was 9, and was only with me for 7 months. I call her LGW (Little Girl Wonder) She is incredibly smart and funny but she would have fits. I don't have the time or skill set to handle that and she is at another home now. We keep in touch through Facebook and hopefully she will spend a weekend with us soon. She came to Disney World with us.

The third young lady was just turning 18 and needed a room and board situation. I call her GW2. She was with us for 8 months. A great young lady but somewhat emotionally delayed. She decided she wanted to live on her own and moved out March 1st. She came over for Easter dinner Monday and still hangs out with GW. She came to visit my parents in New Brunswick with us last summer.

Now we have GW's best friend moving in next Wednesday. I know her well and she came to Disney World with us last year. She's a little more adventurous than GW but is still a good kid. She graduates high school this year and has plans to go to college to become a police officer.

[The Captain]

You are just amazing.  That's all I've got.

[haapai]

Foster kids going to college?!!!  That barely ever happens.  Is she hooking up with one of the rare programs that helps aged-out foster kids make that transition? 

[Deleted]

Canada does it a bit differently... Way to go Later!

[Deleted]

  I hope it works out for all of you!

[mmhmm]

Sounds great, later!  The girls being friends should really make things a lot easier for everyone.  GW knows the rules and what's expected and can communicate them a lot easier to a friend than to someone new to her, I imagine.  Best of luck to all of you!  It's so good to know there are people like you helping these kids!

[Deleted]

Apr 25, 2014 10:40:29 GMT -5 haapai said:

Foster kids going to college?!!!  That barely ever happens.  Is she hooking up with one of the rare programs that helps aged-out foster kids make that transition? 

In Ontario the kids get a living allowance of $895 until they turn 21 and free college or university tuition. College isn't university, I'm not sure what the American comparison is. I'm proud to say that our foster parents association fought for these things for these kids. I'm a dues paying member and might get into the admin of it when I retire and have more time to devote to it.

[mmhmm]

I think your colleges compare to our community colleges, laterbloomer.  They're more directly career oriented than universities, are they not?

[justme]

Closest thing American-wise is technical/trade school. From how my friends have explained it, college in Canada is basically teaching you specific skills - hygienist, mechanic, etc - which is what technical/trade school is in the states (though some community colleges now have programs that just train you for a job and skip most of the gen ed stuff you'd get with an AA degree).

[Deleted]

Apr 25, 2014 13:31:54 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

I think your colleges compare to our community colleges, laterbloomer.  They're more directly career oriented than universities, are they not?

Yep, and tend to have 2 year diploma courses.

[mmhmm]

Yep.  That would be the equivalent of our community colleges, later.  Same basic concept.

[haapai]

Meanwhile, on the Western side of that big puddle ....

Oh later, you don't want to know what we do to foster kids when they turn 18.  I'm glad you're sticking up for yours. 

[zibazinski]

It's not as bad as it was. They used to stop the money at age 18 whether they graduated HS or not. We had a friend of DS live with us for 3 months or so, so he could graduate HS. 

[Tired Tess]

I am in awe of you.  You leave me speechless (and for an Irishwoman, that says alot).

[TheOtherMe]

You are awesome, Later.  No other word for it.  I do hope this works out for you.

[Deleted]

Apr 25, 2014 20:58:56 GMT -5 Tired Tess said:

I am in awe of you.  You leave me speechless (and for an Irishwoman, that says alot).

LOL Thanks. GW and I were having a talk tonight and in it she mentioned that I am very different than other foster homes she's been in. Apparently because I am single, I don't have a fridge packed with all varieties of food all the time and we aren't always running out to hockey games and such. I'm not sure exactly how to take that but it can't be too bad, her best friend asked to move in.

[moneymom]

This is my goal for the future!  I'll have to read your old posts.  We have fostered two younger ones.  And adopted one foster.  I would LOVE to foster older ones who are aging out since we are getting older too!  You are wonderful for giving these girls these opportunities.  

[tcu2003]

Go you, later! And sounds like GW's best friend could turn out to be a great situation for all of you!

[TheOtherMe]

Apr 25, 2014 21:54:24 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Apr 25, 2014 20:58:56 GMT -5 Tired Tess said:

I am in awe of you.  You leave me speechless (and for an Irishwoman, that says alot).

LOL Thanks. GW and I were having a talk tonight and in it she mentioned that I am very different than other foster homes she's been in. Apparently because I am single, I don't have a fridge packed with all varieties of food all the time and we aren't always running out to hockey games and such. I'm not sure exactly how to take that but it can't be too bad, her best friend asked to move in.

Obviously, GW has liked being with you or her best friend would not be moving in.  You have provided her with a stable existence and I bet that is what any kid wants.  I know that is what any child needs.

[taz157]

Apr 27, 2014 20:19:40 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Apr 25, 2014 21:54:24 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

LOL Thanks. GW and I were having a talk tonight and in it she mentioned that I am very different than other foster homes she's been in. Apparently because I am single, I don't have a fridge packed with all varieties of food all the time and we aren't always running out to hockey games and such. I'm not sure exactly how to take that but it can't be too bad, her best friend asked to move in.

Obviously, GW has liked being with you or her best friend would not be moving in.  You have provided her with a stable existence and I bet that is what any kid wants.  I know that is what any child needs.

Yeah that!

[Deleted]

You are very impressive laterbloomer!

I think GW is telling you that you represent the reality that will be her life. It is relevant and she can see how it translates to okay and normal for a single woman. Your example does and will make her feel more competent and prepared to move out on her own. It also will help her understand that she doesn't have to "jump into a marriage" to have someone else to take care of her. What you are offering these older foster girls is so fantastic and valuable for them. 

You must be simply amazing for GW to be recommending you to friends!

[Deleted]

So today's the day, BF moves in after work. I will have to get a name for her. GW and I are a little subdued, there is always and adjustment with a new person moving in.

[The Captain]

How Exciting!  Hope it all works out for everyone!

[mollyanna58]

Apr 30, 2014 9:56:26 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

So today's the day, BF moves in after work. I will have to get a name for her. GW and I are a little subdued, there is always and adjustment with a new person moving in.

How about "Newest Wonder"?

I'm sure you'll all adjust quickly.  I admire you for what you do. 

[Deleted]

Newest Wonder will work

When I started this I was against having kids that didn't stay too long. I figured I wouldn't be able to handle the detaching. That part is not as bad as I thought it would be. Sometimes these kids just need a temporary place and I guess I can handle some of that. And I still make myself available to them so I don't abandon them or anything.

[The Captain]

You know, just having that anchor or sense of connection to a "family" may be all some of these kids need in terms of support.

[marvholly]

I think I like Newest Wonder too. Then the next can be Latest Wonder, followed by Current Wonder.....

[zibazinski]

I'm curious as to Canada's rate of support for their foster children. US tries to stick theirs with family, not because its better for the kids but because its cheaper. 

[Deleted]

May 1, 2014 7:27:26 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I'm curious as to Canada's rate of support for their foster children. US tries to stick theirs with family, not because its better for the kids but because its cheaper. 

It varies across the country. I have a cousin that fostered in New Brunswick and she got about $550/month for room and board and clothing and had an expense account for some extracurricular activities. And I don't think there was any increase for high needs kids. I'm in Ontario and get $32/day room and board for kids with no behaviours up to $52/day for "difficult" kids. There are whole other categories for kids that need therapeutic care. And here they have a clothing allowance on top of that, money for extra curricular activities, expense lines for miscellaneous that includes such things as period supplies for the girls, one laptop for high school, a bicycle...that is most of it. In Ontario the kids will have their college or university tuition paid and get a living allowance until they are 21.

They promote kin care here as well but the kin have to go through a qualifying process. It is cheaper but that doesn't hold a lot of weight when making the decision for the kids.

Things went well with NW last night. She got her stuff moved in and made big progress on organizing her room. GW and I are already noticing some adjustments we need to make. NW takes her showers in the morning. I usually take mine in the morning and GW takes hers the night before. So we are both off our routine as NW is using the water and GW's bathroom when we are used to being in there. GW and I heard the shower start and just looked at each other this morning. Then we started to laugh. We need to adjust.

[zibazinski]

Super!