milee
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Post by milee on Feb 4, 2014 12:35:21 GMT -5
MPL, as you can see from the range of good advice and responses, there's no one perfect answer or way to go here.
Please correct me if I'm misremembering, but isn't this the son whose dad is a good guy and very caring and involved even though you're no longer married? If so, what does his dad think? Does he have any insight or can he offer any help here?
Also, there is a time for everything and there are times when even if something is right, you just cannot bring the forces to bear. You're dealing with a lot and it's OK and understandable if this is not in the top 5, 10 or even 50 things you and your son need to be focusing on. You are a good mom and you will find a way to help him through it; even if that way isn't what you'd 100% prefer, he won't be damaged for life and you've got time to bring focus to his issues when your home life is more stable. Don't beat yourself up over stuff like this or let it grow too big in your mind or his. It's OK.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 12:41:10 GMT -5
I wish he would just have the attitude that it's not a big deal, but I suppose, like Mich said, he can't see that at this point.
As an adult I can thumb my nose at PE and realize what piss poor teachers I had. When I was required to attend PE 2-3x a week for 13 years it was A LOT harder to keep in mind it was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. When it's continously reinforced it's a lot harder to overcome. I could at least get away from it once the bell rang. If I'd been made to stay afterschool for 2 hours for weeks to practice my tackle I can't imagine how much more warped my views on sports/exercise would have ended up. It's not just the teacher, it's the other kids that make PE suck so bad. It's horrible to be the oddball, non-athletic one when you're 11. Being the smart kid doesn't help, because then you're kind of odd in that regard too.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 4, 2014 12:44:22 GMT -5
I wish he would just have the attitude that it's not a big deal, but I suppose, like Mich said, he can't see that at this point.
As an adult I can thumb my nose at PE and realize what piss poor teachers I had. When I was required to attend PE 2-3x a week for 13 years it was A LOT harder to keep in mind it was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. When it's continously reinforced it's a lot harder to overcome. I could at least get away from it once the bell rang. If I'd been made to stay afterschool for 2 hours for weeks to practice my tackle I can't imagine how much more warped my views on sports/exercise would have ended up. It's not just the teacher, it's the other kids that make PE suck so bad. It's horrible to be the oddball, non-athletic one when you're 11. Being the smart kid doesn't help, because then you're kind of odd in that regard too. Middle or Junior High School is really hard for smart, non-athletic kids. Are there any charter or school choice schools around where he'd have more of a peer group and feel like less of an oddball? (Not that he's odd, just that a smart non-athletic kid is going to feel odd at most standard middle/jr high schools.)
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 4, 2014 12:46:02 GMT -5
So is there anybody out there that LIKED Phys Ed? ME!!!!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 12:47:10 GMT -5
Please correct me if I'm misremembering, but isn't this the son whose dad is a good guy and very caring and involved even though you're no longer married? If so, what does his dad think? Does he have any insight or can he offer any help here?
Yes. Dad thinks the teacher is being an ass, but he leans more to the we should work on this side rather than have him further spotlighted by getting him out of it. He thinks the teacher will just be more of a jerk towards him if we don't.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 4, 2014 12:48:50 GMT -5
Please correct me if I'm misremembering, but isn't this the son whose dad is a good guy and very caring and involved even though you're no longer married? If so, what does his dad think? Does he have any insight or can he offer any help here?
Yes. Dad thinks the teacher is being an ass, but he leans more to the we should work on this side rather than have him further spotlighted by getting him out of it. He thinks the teacher will just be more of a jerk towards him if we don't. OK, that's one valid way of looking at it. Can Dad be the one to do the work on the side at least? Assuming that means practicing the somersault a couple of times a week. Sounds like a good father/son thing anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 12:51:17 GMT -5
It's not just the teacher, it's the other kids that make PE suck so bad. It's horrible to be the oddball, non-athletic one when you're 11. Being the smart kid doesn't help, because then you're kind of odd in that regard too. Middle or Junior High School is really hard for smart, non-athletic kids. Are there any charter or school choice schools around where he'd have more of a peer group and feel like less of an oddball? (Not that he's odd, just that a smart non-athletic kid is going to feel odd at most standard middle/jr high schools.) He's at a charter now. There really are only 3 options. Public, Catholic and this charter Montessori where he's been for 8 years now. He was going to go to Catholic Jr High starting this fall, but I don't think that's going to happen now. Probably two more years at the charter.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 12:53:01 GMT -5
Yes. Dad thinks the teacher is being an ass, but he leans more to the we should work on this side rather than have him further spotlighted by getting him out of it. He thinks the teacher will just be more of a jerk towards him if we don't. OK, that's one valid way of looking at it. Can Dad be the one to do the work on the side at least? Assuming that means practicing the somersault a couple of times a week. Sounds like a good father/son thing anyway. His Dad tried showing him last night and couldn't do one either. LOL Head of IT for a fortune 500 company, how did he ever overcome the disability
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 4, 2014 12:58:55 GMT -5
"His Dad tried showing him last night and couldn't do one either. LOL"
But that's perfect! They're starting from the same place with the same issue. They can bond together as they work on it.
"this charter Montessori where he's been for 8 years now"
If the plan of having his dad work on this with him (which, BTW sounds like a good thing IMHO) doesn't work out, then I'd probably talk to the principal about how this fits into the Montessori philosophy. Honestly, this was one part of Montessori that I had issues with because it helped conceal the fact that both of my boys have some fairly severe learning disabilities, but the Montessori philosophy is not to force the child to do something for which he is not ready. The philosophy is to allow the child appropriate alternate choices and have him continue to develop so he will know when he's ready and then things will work. (Again, that's not a bad theory unless you have a kid who has a LD or a physical issue, in which case it can take years to discover the issue because the kid simply avoids doing the thing he can't do. So it's up to you to figure out if this is the case here.) Anyway, what is happening at school doesn't mesh with the Montessori philosophy and that's the angle I'd take with the principal if you need to put a stop to it.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 13:07:58 GMT -5
"His Dad tried showing him last night and couldn't do one either. LOL"
But that's perfect! They're starting from the same place with the same issue. They can bond together as they work on it.
"this charter Montessori where he's been for 8 years now"
If the plan of having his dad work on this with him (which, BTW sounds like a good thing IMHO) doesn't work out, then I'd probably talk to the principal about how this fits into the Montessori philosophy. Honestly, this was one part of Montessori that I had issues with because it helped conceal the fact that both of my boys have some fairly severe learning disabilities, but the Montessori philosophy is not to force the child to do something for which he is not ready. The philosophy is to allow the child appropriate alternate choices and have him continue to develop so he will know when he's ready and then things will work. (Again, that's not a bad theory unless you have a kid who has a LD or a physical issue, in which case it can take years to discover the issue because the kid simply avoids doing the thing he can't do. So it's up to you to figure out if this is the case here.) Anyway, what is happening at school doesn't mesh with the Montessori philosophy and that's the angle I'd take with the principal if you need to put a stop to it. I think this is why his classroom teacher is annoyed and asked me to include the principal in any correspondence with the PE teacher. All of the classroom teachers are certified in Montessori instruction and philosophy, but I don't think the specialists like PE are. Also, it's a charter, so if there are state rules about testing for PE then they have to follow them. There may be a box next to somersault that needs to be checked to keep the funding coming.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 13:33:23 GMT -5
Also, it's a charter, so if there are state rules about testing for PE then they have to follow them. There may be a box next to somersault that needs to be checked to keep the funding coming. There have to be ways around this. There are kids with physical and mental disabilities that would make it impossible or dangerous to do a somersault. If there's some box that need to be checked, the staff needs to find out how you accommodate kids for whom it's impossible because it sounds like, in your DS' case, it might be.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 4, 2014 13:35:18 GMT -5
Can you get a somersault IEP?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 13:37:36 GMT -5
I just don't get this. I can't imagine a teacher keeping my child after school to work on a somersault. DD got a 50% on the Badminton skills test last quarter. She is pretty bad at most of the sports that she has tried, but it is never anything a PE teacher has dwelled on. Honestly, if the PE teacher were to make a big deal out of it, I would tell him to pound sand.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Feb 4, 2014 14:16:29 GMT -5
You can tell them to pound sand all you want, but at least where I went to school, you didn't "pass" PE without meeting some requirements. You didn't graduate high school until you "passed" PE for the required number of semesters. There were quite a few kids who had to take 2 PE classes per semester to make up for the semester(s) of classes they didn't pass - if they wanted to graduate. It might be better to suck it up, tell your child to suck it up, graduate and THEN do whatever the heck you want.
I can't remember what the requirements were, but they weren't horribly bad. It was something like "able to do 3 sit-ups". I remember one classmate getting some sort of "exemption" due to the fact she had a pretty severe physical handicap.
A quick search tells me states have different requirements for how much PE is needed for graduation. Before I told anybody what my kid was or wasn't going to do as far as educational requirements, I'd check into that first so I don't end up making life harder for them.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 15:28:03 GMT -5
My state requires 1/2 of a credit for a high school diploma and it is pretty easy to get. I never had to be able to actually do anything, just showing up and making the effort was enough. Also this is either elementary or middle school and I don't think there is any requirement at that level for PE here, except that they have it. DD got an A even with her poor badminton skills. This whole thing is just super weird to me.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 4, 2014 15:43:47 GMT -5
You can tell them to pound sand all you want, but at least where I went to school, you didn't "pass" PE without meeting some requirements. You didn't graduate high school until you "passed" PE for the required number of semesters. There were quite a few kids who had to take 2 PE classes per semester to make up for the semester(s) of classes they didn't pass - if they wanted to graduate. It might be better to suck it up, tell your child to suck it up, graduate and THEN do whatever the heck you want. I can't remember what the requirements were, but they weren't horribly bad. It was something like "able to do 3 sit-ups". I remember one classmate getting some sort of "exemption" due to the fact she had a pretty severe physical handicap. A quick search tells me states have different requirements for how much PE is needed for graduation. Before I told anybody what my kid was or wasn't going to do as far as educational requirements, I'd check into that first so I don't end up making life harder for them. How can you fail an entire class for failing one competency of the course? I refused to give a speech for an English class in highschool, but I didn't fail the class. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 15:45:50 GMT -5
A PE teacher willing to stay after school for 2 hours to help one kid work on a somersault sounds like a pretty awesome teacher to me. Maybe he is an asshole, but he is an asshole that is putting in some serious extra time with the kid.
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Feb 4, 2014 15:54:42 GMT -5
I vaguely remember my kindergarten teacher threatening to have me held back if I didn't learn how to skip. It took me forever to learn. Thankfully my current job doesn't require me to skip or do somersaults.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Feb 4, 2014 15:57:36 GMT -5
Maybe it's because I grew up in the sex offender registry/Dateline/Jerry Sandusky era, but a PE teacher who expresses interest in spending time with a single student, alone, for several hours after school doesn't scream "awesome" to me...
I doubt it's anything sinister, but my radar would be up.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Feb 4, 2014 16:04:15 GMT -5
You can tell them to pound sand all you want, but at least where I went to school, you didn't "pass" PE without meeting some requirements. You didn't graduate high school until you "passed" PE for the required number of semesters. There were quite a few kids who had to take 2 PE classes per semester to make up for the semester(s) of classes they didn't pass - if they wanted to graduate. It might be better to suck it up, tell your child to suck it up, graduate and THEN do whatever the heck you want. I can't remember what the requirements were, but they weren't horribly bad. It was something like "able to do 3 sit-ups". I remember one classmate getting some sort of "exemption" due to the fact she had a pretty severe physical handicap. A quick search tells me states have different requirements for how much PE is needed for graduation. Before I told anybody what my kid was or wasn't going to do as far as educational requirements, I'd check into that first so I don't end up making life harder for them. How can you fail an entire class for failing one competency of the course? I refused to give a speech for an English class in highschool, but I didn't fail the class. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards As I already stated, my school had a series of exercises you had to pass. They weren't difficult for the average person. I think maybe like 5 jumping jacks, 3 sit-ups...things like that. The point is, if you didn't comply with the curriculum, you didn't pass. Period. That included not dressing and/or not participating in whatever unit was being taught. Now I have no idea if, for example, MPL's son can't do a somersault, that will result in a fail. I'm just saying it's probably best to find out beforehand if you don't want your kid to have issues come graduation time. I just don't think it's a good idea so say, "Sorry. My kid isn't going to have to do that." The point was to find out first what ramifications there may be. Is completion of a somersault a requirement to pass PE? If not, kiss my ass - my kid isn't staying after school. If so? Guess we better get to work on it. Find out first.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 4, 2014 16:05:53 GMT -5
I think one of my younger kids can't skip, pretty sure no one at the school made a federal case out of it. I can't even tell you which one, but if I had to guess it'd be Mr. ADHD who's not exactly coordinated.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 16:06:20 GMT -5
Maybe it's because I grew up in the sex offender registry/Dateline/Jerry Sandusky era, but a PE teacher who expresses interest in spending time with a single student, alone, for several hours after school doesn't scream "awesome" to me... I doubt it's anything sinister, but my radar would be up. Or the kid is getting sexually molested. Not what first came to mind. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to do a forward roll. That position brings up painful memories.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 4, 2014 16:13:47 GMT -5
I vaguely remember my kindergarten teacher threatening to have me held back if I didn't learn how to skip
My kindergarten teacher tried to do that. My dad told her that his tax dollars weren't going to teach me how to skip. I can honestly say that not being able to skip has had no impact on my success in life.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Feb 4, 2014 16:16:06 GMT -5
But...but....how will you ever skip-to-my-loo-my darling?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Feb 4, 2014 16:19:47 GMT -5
So is there anybody out there that LIKED Phys Ed? I did! Except the uniforms. Those things were ugly and I hated having to show my white skinny legs! But playing softball, dodge ball, basketball, jumping on the trampoline and jumping over the "horse" and playing tag football and kick ball... LOVED it. But apparently I looked like a dork when I jumped on the Trampoline. My best friend would laugh her ass off every time I did because of how I kicked my legs up. Did I ever mention I had chicken legs? I agree that a child should learn to tumble but not get stressed out if they just can't do it. But as a parent I'd worry about their lack of coordination so I'd try to teach them how to do it. I'd like to think a teacher would try to make it fun for the child and not be all military about it and stress the poor kid out or embarrass them. <<checks to see if I can still tumble>> Owwww!
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Feb 4, 2014 16:21:49 GMT -5
So this thread sparked my interest in finding out what gymnastics classes would cost for my DD (who is 13 mo). The gym in the closest town is actually cheaper than the rec center in that town. The rec center is $18 per session and she couldn't start until she was 2. The gym would start at 18 months and is $38 a month for 1 session a week. DH might think that gymnastics was encouraging her though.
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justme
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Post by justme on Feb 4, 2014 16:25:32 GMT -5
I'd probably dislike PE if I had to take it as much as a lot of you guys! I had one year of it in middle school, picked a different elective the other two years, and the minimum 2 semesters in high school - one was the general PE class you had to take and I chose to do weight lifting for the other one (my choice had nothing to do with the fact that I was 1 of 3 girls in a class with mostly football/baseball/soccer players ). That was freshman year and I didn't have to take a PE class again. Though I did consider taking weight lifting again...for the muscle building...
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 4, 2014 16:29:56 GMT -5
I'd probably dislike PE if I had to take it as much as a lot of you guys! I had one year of it in middle school, picked a different elective the other two years, and the minimum 2 semesters in high school - one was the general PE class you had to take and I chose to do weight lifting for the other one (my choice had nothing to do with the fact that I was 1 of 3 girls in a class with mostly football/baseball/soccer players ). That was freshman year and I didn't have to take a PE class again. Though I did consider taking weight lifting again...for the muscle building... I joined band in 6th grade partially because I wanted to and partially to get out of PE. Marching band met my PE requirements in HS, so I never set foot in the gym again unless it was some required student body gathering. ETA: Not entirely sure why I quoted you to say that.
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justme
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Post by justme on Feb 4, 2014 16:35:16 GMT -5
Joining orchestra gave me the guaranteed out of PE for 2 years in MS. If you weren't in band or orchestra it was a toss up on whether you'd get to choose your second elective or get stuck with PE. I forgot what tipped the scales since I went for the guarantee - orchestra with yearbook one year and TV production the next (both were selective).
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Feb 4, 2014 16:42:57 GMT -5
It is interesting hearing everyone's PE requirements. Illinois required it for K-12 when I was in school. This was in the 90s and I think they were the only state to require it K-12 at that point.
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