Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:16:22 GMT -5
The Valentine's Day advertising has got me thinking about things. I know of some people that get awesome gifts. A co-worker was surprised with a new car for Christmas. (I thought that only happened on tv.) Others can say "I need a new iPod" and the next day they have a new iPod. I hear of this happening with many things: winter coats, boots, lap tops, tablets, etc. My significant other and I do not do anything special. Well, maybe I do. Since Christmas I bought him a nice shirt that was on sale and now I ordered him a winter coat that he needs. Other than that, we fend for ourselves. We are not married. It's kind of depressing. Do you and your significant other buy things for each other? Do you buy nice, thoughtful gifts? Do you receive any gifts?
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 28, 2014 13:26:20 GMT -5
For us, Valentine's Day is more about being together and having a fun experience than gifts (but we do gifts at birthdays and Christmas, so it's not like we're anti-gift.) Before kids, we had elaborate special meals that we'd eat at home by candlelight. For years when the kids were young, we made it into a family celebration. Not romantic, but fun. Homemade, cutout decorations and some sort of fancy family meal like fondue or steak. This is the first year that the older son is old enough to babysit the younger son, but I really don't have any desire to go out to eat on Valentine's, so we'll probably stick with doing the family thing.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:26:43 GMT -5
I don't know how much thought DH puts into his gifts (some times not much, since he got his Mom and me the same fleece for Christmas ) but I do put some thought into the things I give to him. He didn't sign my card about 5 or 6 years ago so we've been giving it back and forth to each other unsigned ever since.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:30:02 GMT -5
It use to annoy the crap out of me when my XH1 would get me expensive "gifts". We were married, it was OUR money! I was the one paying for said gift without any say in how that amount of money got spent. With my new friend I'll get cheaper stuff but I won't be paying for it. Life is improving.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 28, 2014 13:33:40 GMT -5
We were SO's for a few years before marriage. We're not big on the Valentine's Day thing, because our birthdays, which fall in the same month, come up shortly thereafter. We will be on the road that weekend - I am doing a half-marathon on the 16th, so any celebration would have to be after that. I was thinking about making dinner ahead and freezing it, so it would be here when we come home. The trip home is about 2 1/2 hours, so it would have time to thaw out. No big mess, just pop it in the oven, add a salad and wine and done. I've received a lot of outstanding gifts over the years, but I always consider him the most outstanding gift ever, even if he does leave his socks on the floor.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:35:07 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING?
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cael
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Post by cael on Jan 28, 2014 13:35:26 GMT -5
We do Christmas gifts (they've gotten smaller/less each year), but birthdays and stuff have kind of stopped, we just get things we already need/want - I just got a new phone, used part gift money from my parents and saved the rest up. That was my "birthday gift". For DH's birthday next month he wants to go to the shooting range, so we'll do that and it'll be his "birthday gift". We haven't done much for Valentine's day in years, and for anniversaries (only 2 so far!) we went away the first year and just did dinner last year. I just need to get some crab legs to stick in my Coach bag with my new iphone and I'll be all set!!
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Jan 28, 2014 13:35:51 GMT -5
Every couple is different and you have to do what is right for you. If neither of you is big on gifts, than don't do it. We di as MM does, with it usually being something practical or we want but wouldn't buy ourselves for christmas and birthdays. VD not so much. In fact I won't even be home this year. I'm taking off for a girls weekend with friends. Our marriage is either really secure, or really pathetic.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 28, 2014 13:39:41 GMT -5
Another secure and/or pathetic marriage here
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 28, 2014 13:42:03 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? I get nothing every day. I feel fine. Hubs and I aren't big into gift giving so we don't really do it. If it's important to you, say something to SO.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:43:04 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? You should be able to tell the man you're sleeping with that getting something for Valentine's Day (or any other holiday) is important to you. Men are not mind readers.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jan 28, 2014 13:44:21 GMT -5
Another secure and/or pathetic marriage here Ditto. We exchange cards, but that's about it for Valentine's Day. Birthdays and Christmas just depend - but it's usually something small.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 28, 2014 13:45:20 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? Technically, we don't do Valentine's as our first date was Feb. 13th. I expect flowers in honor of it. Anything else is a bonus. We're hoping our son's dcp will do a parent's night out for VD. If so, we'll go out for dinner. Otherwise, we'll likely stay home. We do Christmas and b-day presents. Neither DH or I are super big on getting presents. I expect flowers a few times a year, specifically on my b-day and our anniversary (dating and wedding) And I did make it pretty clear to him what the flower occasions are. If you're not getting what you want/expect for b-days, anniversaries or whatever, does your SO understand that it's important to you? No one can read your mind.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jan 28, 2014 13:46:16 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? Just say something. For whatever silly reason, cards are important to me, so DH gets me cards because I let him know that early on. Presents are fine either way - we'll usually jointly decide if we're going to do presents or not for Christmas and birthdays. Any other holiday it's definitely no presents for us.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:46:27 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? NF already has a short list of acceptable gifts for VD, and none of them are household appliances or snow tires for the car. I learned that lesson with XH2.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 28, 2014 13:47:41 GMT -5
One of my love languages is gifts. It WAS important to me when we were dating.
Now that we have been married and have three kids, we exchange token gifts...mostly for show for the kids. We have other priorities for our money.
The only other time a gift was impt to me is when DH really screwed up. I got replacement engagement wedding ring. That cost more than our wedding.
If I got nothing when we were dating, I wouldn't be OK with that.
Now that our relationship has matured and been through the wringer, we have found that simply being nice and appreciative of each other trumps things.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 28, 2014 13:49:00 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? NF already has a short list of acceptable gifts for VD, and none of them are household appliances or snow tires for the car. I learned that lesson with DH2. You made me remember - I think my DH is looking at waffle irons. He was talking about some last week. I'd be ok with that because I like waffles and I told him at Christmas to go buy the one that a niece got for me for our dating anniversary.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:51:04 GMT -5
NF already has a short list of acceptable gifts for VD, and none of them are household appliances or snow tires for the car. I learned that lesson with DH2. You made me remember - I think my DH is looking at waffle irons. He was talking about some last week. I'd be ok with that because I like waffles and I told him at Christmas to go buy the one that a niece got for me for our dating anniversary. You get a gift for your dating anniversary? Ya, that would counter it being an appliance.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Jan 28, 2014 13:51:18 GMT -5
We don't do valentines day at all and we don't go big for birthdays or christmas. If there is something big I want, I usually get it myself. I generally wouldn't want DH picking out my boots or coat or phone or most big items.
We do randomly surprise each other with things. It is usually small simpler things that cost less than $20. that means way more than any $200 bracelet I picked out and put on a christmas list.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Jan 28, 2014 13:55:42 GMT -5
You made me remember - I think my DH is looking at waffle irons. He was talking about some last week. I'd be ok with that because I like waffles and I told him at Christmas to go buy the one that a niece got for me for our dating anniversary. You get a gift for your dating anniversary? Ya, that would counter it being an appliance. DH and I celebrate our dating anniversary- or as we call it "gotcha day" We don't normally exchange gifts but I do make a special meal- the same meal I made on our first anniversary of dating.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 13:58:33 GMT -5
If it pisses you off that you don't get a gift you need to say something.
My wife wants at minimum a card with something lovie dovey in it. Some years I remember, some years I don't. But I know that that is what she wants.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 28, 2014 13:58:57 GMT -5
You made me remember - I think my DH is looking at waffle irons. He was talking about some last week. I'd be ok with that because I like waffles and I told him at Christmas to go buy the one that a niece got for me for our dating anniversary. You get a gift for your dating anniversary? Ya, that would counter it being an appliance. Well, I think I am this year. I don't always. Except for flowers as I said. And generally, he buys flowers from the grocery store, not a florist. He proposed on our dating anniversary too. I'd have set up our wedding for Feb 13th too but I wanted my grandfather at my wedding and I was afraid he'd be unable to come if I held out 4 more months. DH had lost all of his grandparents before then so he wasn't concerned about that generation on his side.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 28, 2014 14:00:19 GMT -5
Valentine's Day is a crock. It's a made up holiday so retailers could add a little juice to their first quarter numbers which usually suck as people cut back after glutting at Christmas.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 14:00:51 GMT -5
Valentine's Day is a crock. It's a made up holiday so retailers could add a little juice to their first quarter numbers which usually suck as people cut back after glutting at Christmas.
You are your kind make us sick.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 28, 2014 14:01:37 GMT -5
Valentine's Day is a crock. It's a made up holiday so retailers could add a little juice to their first quarter numbers which usually suck as people cut back after glutting at Christmas. How does Loop feel about it?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 28, 2014 14:02:08 GMT -5
Run along and buy some pointless trinket to prove your undying love like a good little sheeple.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 28, 2014 14:02:45 GMT -5
The same way I guess since she never gets me anything.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 28, 2014 14:03:13 GMT -5
Awh, don't let the hyped consumerism and desperation of a floundering retail industry exploit your emotions into throwing money at an attempt to encapsulate their vision of a perfect moment. Odds are you are much happier together than any of those couples in the commercials! Does that car come with massive payments? I wonder if in April, that couple will be bickering about money? Do what works for you, not what retail giants think will get you back in the doors!
I don't know, having one of those hallmark moments might be nice. I just don't want to lose sight of what happens before and after.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Jan 28, 2014 14:03:32 GMT -5
We don't exchange gifts for Valentine's day. We also didn't exchange Christmas gifts this past Christmas (we rescued a puppy instead ). BUT-we agree to not exchange gifts/give cards. Without the agreement, I might be sad/disappointed if I didn't get anything, but my thinking is, "if you get me something, I have to get you something. You are hard to shop for, so the less occasions that require presents, the better my mental health will be."
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jan 28, 2014 14:06:31 GMT -5
How would you feel if you got NOTHING? DH and I don't do Valentine's Day, so I am perfectly happy when I get nothing. I don't like big gifts because we combine all of our money.
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