973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Feb 4, 2014 9:38:34 GMT -5
Uhh....someone who only eats 3 things IS picky! DS hates peas, DD hates cooked carrots. So I don't serve them (because, frankly, I dislike them as well). I have a laundry list of things that they will eat so it's not like it's affecting their nutrition. I'd say a kid is picky 1) if they have a LIST of things they won't eat 2) they are not getting adequate nutrition from the things they will eat. This is MY opinion. YMMV I thought I said they are picky if they will really only eat three things. But I doubt they really will only eat three things. What normally happens IME is that the kid will only eat three things of the ones their family likes. So the kid who hates curry isn't picky if they live in my family because we don't eat Indian food, but they probably would if they lived in a family that did. Are the people on this thread really making hundreds of totally different foods? Most people I know have a rotation of twentyish different things they make, that use a pretty small list of different things in them. I read somewhere that almost all people have a "shopping list of ingrediants" that is less than 100 long and they will almost never stray from. I'm sure my list would make some people here go on a hunger strike while we like them very much.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 4, 2014 9:42:07 GMT -5
I don't call my kids picky usually. Annoying, yes. But in our house a lot of the "I don't like this" really is "I don't want to eat this today." Or the kid is trying to express independence or separation from the rest of us or something that's good in their overall development but annoying when it happens....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 9:49:38 GMT -5
Uhh....someone who only eats 3 things IS picky! DS hates peas, DD hates cooked carrots. So I don't serve them (because, frankly, I dislike them as well). I have a laundry list of things that they will eat so it's not like it's affecting their nutrition. I'd say a kid is picky 1) if they have a LIST of things they won't eat 2) they are not getting adequate nutrition from the things they will eat. This is MY opinion. YMMV I must be a picky eater because I have a list of things I won't eat.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 9:49:59 GMT -5
There ya go! ETA: As I said, it is MY opinion. If you don't consider yourself a picky eater, then you're not.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 4, 2014 10:10:10 GMT -5
Once my kids were on their own, they were free to eat whatever they wanted. Fortunately for them, they liked what I made!
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Feb 4, 2014 10:59:19 GMT -5
I am the epitome of picky. To me its not just having a list of things you wont touch but being selective in how its prepared.
I eat almost all fruits and veggies, raw or cooked. Meat is where i get nuts. I wont touch chicken on bones but have no problems eating chicken nuggets or chicken breast. Anything ground beef is good but no steak. No fish, but shrimp and mucles and some crab is fine.
I am picky over donuts. I only eat powdered, plain glazed or powdered bavarian creme. Nothing with chocolate or sprinkles. Nothing with nuts or coconut. But i will eat chocolate cake or chocolates.
I will find something any where we go so thats not a big deal.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Feb 4, 2014 15:46:28 GMT -5
I am the epitome of picky. To me its not just having a list of things you wont touch but being selective in how its prepared. No, I have a friend/aquantience who is. It's bad enough that at 28 she has organ damage and her body is canablizing protien from her muscles to make up for the lack of nutrition. No veggies. Mostly bread (which her body doesn't really absorb because she is allergic to gluten) and pasta, and very few fruits and meats. Lots of peeled white potatoes (think mashed/fries/tatertots) It's sad. Her husband is trying so hard to get her to take better care of herself, but it's not working.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Feb 4, 2014 22:24:25 GMT -5
Beachbum makes a good point that we use the term "picky" when it could just mean "feeling put out over someone else's preferences that conflict with mine".
That being said, doxieluvr brings up another good angle:
...:::"To me its not just having a list of things you wont touch but being selective in how its prepared.":::...
Similar to what I said before: I get why a vegetarian might ask for food to be prepared in a separate pan from the one the meat was seared in, or that a prep cook change gloves or equipment if that handled meat. DW has some quirks that go beyond that though -- really down to the "you wouldn't notice if I didn't follow this rule" type.
Some folks really choose the wrong combination of items to boycott though.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 5, 2014 0:41:52 GMT -5
OK, y'all know I don't have kids. But I was a picky eater. This NYT article got my attention. It's called The Picky Eater Project, and it focuses on a set of twins with very different eating habits, and what their parents are doing to change the entire family's habits. The project is an ongoing thing, and I'm curious to know (provided I don't start any parental warfare by asking), if any of you think this is a good and workable approach. It sounds sane and logical, but it also requires patience and the whole family has to be involved: parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/22/a-young-picky-eater-surprises-his-parents-in-the-kitchen/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0An excerpt: ...Although she didn’t cook based on their demands, Christine spent family dinners hopping up to replace the foods the twins, primarily Andrew, rejected with something else. She wasn’t happy, and neither was Fran. For six weeks, I’ll work with Dr. David Ludwig, the director of the New Balance Foundation Obesity Prevention Center at Boston Children’s Hospital, to help Christine and Fran encourage Andrew to expand his food choices while changing the family eating habits that have supported Andrew in his seemingly never-ending quest to eat nothing but hot dogs, meatballs and toast, toast and more toast.
Last week, Christine and Fran created a to do list based on the dinnertime challenges of their family. Here’s how they did:
•Talk about the new rules: one homemade meal at dinner. (Check) •Talk about real (grows on trees, etc) versus fake (produced in factories) food
. (Not yet) •Print the Department of Agriculture’s MyPlate and have them go through their refrigerator and pantry and fill in ideas for each section. (Talked about, but did not print) •Make one dinner each night. (Check) •Have the children help cook at least one meal this week. (Check)
Can we just say that I am more of a "do what I say" kind of parent? The most "custom" orders in my house is "Do you want some _____ before I put the sauce on it?" type cooking. IMO, you can eat it or starve. Otherwise (because my kids are teenagers), they can fend for themselves. But even when they were little, I didn't cater to them. I figured that if they got hungry enough that they would eat whatever I gave them. My cooking is always healthy and I have been lucky that my kids have always loved fruits and vegetables. Unless you are allergic to something (which mine are not), you will eat what I give you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 7:37:36 GMT -5
so for all of you in the 'the kids can eat it or starve' camp....your kid likes salmon, you can't stand it.....but since everyone has to eat everything, you would cook it for dinner for your family and everyone in the family eats it? including you, even though you don't like it?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 5, 2014 8:43:21 GMT -5
Nope, the kid can order it when we eat out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 8:51:59 GMT -5
so for all of you in the 'the kids can eat it or starve' camp....your kid likes salmon, you can't stand it.....but since everyone has to eat everything, you would cook it for dinner for your family and everyone in the family eats it? including you, even though you don't like it? I have. When I was introducing foods I cooked and ate things I don't like to be a good example. I did it until they started school and then I figured they're never going to like those things. HOWEVER (there's always a but) I remember despising Chicken Cacciatore when I was in grade school and sitting in front of my plate until bedtime on several occasions. Mom said she was going to stop making it if I took a couple of bites. Flash forward to HS and telling my Mom that whatever she made for dinner was awesome and she should make it again. You guessed it: Chicken Cacciatore! So I will be serving them those foods in the future since taste buds change.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 5, 2014 9:33:38 GMT -5
so for all of you in the 'the kids can eat it or starve' camp....your kid likes salmon, you can't stand it.....but since everyone has to eat everything, you would cook it for dinner for your family and everyone in the family eats it? including you, even though you don't like it? Haven't we already covered this?
But yes, sometimes that means I cook things that are favorites of the rest of the family but that I personally don't like. I set the example by not complaining, trying a few bites and then eating mostly side dishes. That's what I ask of the boys, so that's what I do, too. In the last 3-4 years, I unfortunately haven't discovered any new love of any of those foods like Beerwench describes, but there are several that are not as noxious to me as they once were. Maybe you build up a tolerance?
Especially with growing kids, it's important to keep offering things. Their tastes do change tremendously and if they don't sometimes try things (even those that they think they dislike), they don't discover that and the whole picky eater thing is reinforced. There's a fairly long list of things in our house that the boys didn't like at first but over the years have sometimes tried and then discovered that they actually do like them. No idea if their tastes changed or if they got over the psychological reaction to the food (which is IMHO at the heart of a good percent of the "picky eating"), but the list of stuff they now eat includes some odd and strong tasting stuff like kale, red peppers, shrimp, etc. All of which they truly believed they would die if they touched a few years ago.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 5, 2014 9:45:09 GMT -5
I am of the camp of "eat what I cook or starve". That said, if my kids taste something several times and then still don't like it, then that is marked off the list. My youngest does not like butternut squash so that is not something I make or if I do, she gets a pass. I'm trying to think of what my oldest doesn't like. I am pretty sure the only thing she hates are brussel sprouts.
I have never let my kids get away with not eating new foods. From the time they started solid foods they ate what we ate. If it was something new, I would only give them a little bit at a time but the rule was "eat it".
I can tell what my kids would prefer not to eat versus what they hate. I don't care what you prefer to eat, I'm not a short order cook so you will eat what is served. But those few items that they absolutely hate will get them a pass.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 9:47:46 GMT -5
I am of the camp of "eat what I cook or starve". That said, if my kids taste something several times and then still don't like it, then that is marked off the list. My youngest does not like butternut squash so that is not something I make or if I do, she gets a pass. I'm trying to think of what my oldest doesn't like. I am pretty sure the only thing she hates are brussel sprouts.
I have never let my kids get away with not eating new foods. From the time they started solid foods they ate what we ate. If it was something new, I would only give them a little bit at a time but the rule was "eat it".
I can tell what my kids would prefer not to eat versus what they hate. I don't care what you prefer to eat, I'm not a short order cook so you will eat what is served. But those few items that they absolutely hate will get them a pass.
you didn't answer the question. do you make foods that you personally hate but that your kids like and then adhere to the 'eat what I cook or starve' mantra? meaning you eat something you totally dislike.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 5, 2014 9:54:07 GMT -5
The curried black eyed pea with raisins recipe someone posted the other day on the crockpot thread is a good example of what I'm talking about in my earlier post. Personally, I've never liked Black Eyed Peas. For some reason, to me they have an odd aftertaste (like dirt or spoiled mushrooms.) But I'm trying to serve more beans as a main dish in our house because they're incredibly nutritious and I'm also hoping to start teaching the boys about inexpensive, nutritious foods they can prepare themselves when they go off to college and their adult life; beans are about as inexpensive and nutritious as things get. Although they'll try most beans, their favorites seem to be Great Northern Beans and Black Eyed Peas. So I made that curried black eyed pea recipe even though I don't really like them. Both boys loved the recipe and it's something we'll definitely make again soon. Me? I still think they taste like dirt, but the curry and raisins made the dish palatable and since it's a favorite of theirs, I'll keep making it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 5, 2014 10:56:13 GMT -5
I am of the camp of "eat what I cook or starve". That said, if my kids taste something several times and then still don't like it, then that is marked off the list. My youngest does not like butternut squash so that is not something I make or if I do, she gets a pass. I'm trying to think of what my oldest doesn't like. I am pretty sure the only thing she hates are brussel sprouts.
I have never let my kids get away with not eating new foods. From the time they started solid foods they ate what we ate. If it was something new, I would only give them a little bit at a time but the rule was "eat it".
I can tell what my kids would prefer not to eat versus what they hate. I don't care what you prefer to eat, I'm not a short order cook so you will eat what is served. But those few items that they absolutely hate will get them a pass.
you didn't answer the question. do you make foods that you personally hate but that your kids like and then adhere to the 'eat what I cook or starve' mantra? meaning you eat something you totally dislike. I don't cook anything I hate, because there are very few foods that I will not eat (mustard and olives are about it, and canned peas). I will cook things I'm "meh" about and eat it to set a good example for the kids.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Feb 5, 2014 10:57:37 GMT -5
My kids hate cooked carrots and cooked broccoli, so I leave raw carrots and broccoli out for them and cook them for me.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 5, 2014 11:14:41 GMT -5
I am of the camp of "eat what I cook or starve". That said, if my kids taste something several times and then still don't like it, then that is marked off the list. My youngest does not like butternut squash so that is not something I make or if I do, she gets a pass. I'm trying to think of what my oldest doesn't like. I am pretty sure the only thing she hates are brussel sprouts.
I have never let my kids get away with not eating new foods. From the time they started solid foods they ate what we ate. If it was something new, I would only give them a little bit at a time but the rule was "eat it".
I can tell what my kids would prefer not to eat versus what they hate. I don't care what you prefer to eat, I'm not a short order cook so you will eat what is served. But those few items that they absolutely hate will get them a pass.
you didn't answer the question. do you make foods that you personally hate but that your kids like and then adhere to the 'eat wwhat I cook or starve' mantra? meaning you eat something you totally dislike. What question? This was my first post in the thread so there was no way someone asked me a question!
I already said that I don't make my kids eat something that they actually hate. So when I cook it, that one person gets a pass. It is only butternut squash for my youngest and brussell sprouts for my oldest. I can't think of anything that I cook that I absolutely hate nor can I think of anything that my kids ask for that I absolutely hate. There are things that I would prefer not to eat but if I cook it I eat it, too. Same thing with dh. He eats what I serve. I alternate and let everyone have a chance to request what they want for dinner (within reason).
What I don't buy into and never have is letting kids each just a few things because they refuse to eat anything besides A, B, C or D. That is not acceptable to me. My kids have always eaten what we eat, end of story. There are no making second or third dinners because this one won't eat this or that one won't eat that.
Now, I can't answer if my kids are always willing to try adventurous foods because they have had no choice (my youngest loves sushi, they both love Thai, curry, and a bunch of other foods that are unusual for kids to eat) or if I had given them just 4 foods their entire lives if they would still be open. I know when my best friend's family comes for dinner she actually bring food for her youngest because she isn't willing to try anything. I happen to think she creates her pickiness by catering to her.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 5, 2014 11:16:06 GMT -5
My kids hate cooked carrots and cooked broccoli, so I leave raw carrots and broccoli out for them and cook them for me. I didn't think about that. My kids much prefer a lot of veggies raw. Red peppers, baby carrots and broccoli are coming to mind. I let them eat them raw as long as they eat them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 11:23:50 GMT -5
I am of the camp of "eat what I cook or starve". That said, if my kids taste something several times and then still don't like it, then that is marked off the list. My youngest does not like butternut squash so that is not something I make or if I do, she gets a pass. I'm trying to think of what my oldest doesn't like. I am pretty sure the only thing she hates are brussel sprouts.
I have never let my kids get away with not eating new foods. From the time they started solid foods they ate what we ate. If it was something new, I would only give them a little bit at a time but the rule was "eat it".
I can tell what my kids would prefer not to eat versus what they hate. I don't care what you prefer to eat, I'm not a short order cook so you will eat what is served. But those few items that they absolutely hate will get them a pass.
you didn't answer the question. do you make foods that you personally hate but that your kids like and then adhere to the 'eat what I cook or starve' mantra? meaning you eat something you totally dislike. I do that with broccoli. I can't stand it, but I make it and pretend I like it. Older son will sort of eat it and younger son loves it.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Feb 5, 2014 11:25:11 GMT -5
do you make foods that you personally hate but that your kids like
Never had to deal with this. I cooked what I liked but DH was a pot roast and boiled potatoes guy. No greens of any kind. I like greens and veggies with my meal so they were always on the table. DH ate some greens and veggies to encourage DD.
After several years of trying with peas and tomatoes both of them got passes and I eat them. I'm not a huge squash lover (meh) but my tummy can't deal with cooked cabbage. This lets out brussel sprouts and stuffed cabbage leaves. DH#2 likes the sprouts so I'll cook them when he asks, which isn't often. I've never cooked liver, tongue, or any organ meats, and don't want to learn.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 11:27:15 GMT -5
Me either! One has to draw a line somewhere!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Feb 5, 2014 11:30:43 GMT -5
It could be genetic, my brother and I both hate the stuff. Preparation is key. Boiled brussel sprouts are gross. Baked in the oven is delicious. Could be so on the cilantro - none of us, mom included, ever liked it. I think it was Chiver who had a good oven recipe for Brussels sprouts. If I remember right, she used olive oil, a bit of garlic, salt and pepper. I also pan-sear them, using the same ingredients. Sometimes, I'll add in chopped shallots as well. I can eat these alone, or tossed with new potatoes cooked the same way. nope, not me. I don't care for the caramelization that happens - to any veggie, actually. I know, I'm weird. I parboil 'em, drain and saute with pancetta. S/P and you're good to go.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 11:40:40 GMT -5
My kids hate cooked carrots and cooked broccoli, so I leave raw carrots and broccoli out for them and cook them for me. I didn't think about that. My kids much prefer a lot of veggies raw. Red peppers, baby carrots and broccoli are coming to mind. I let them eat them raw as long as they eat them. This is how vegetables are handled in our home. My daughter eats most vegetables raw and I don't have a problem with that. I also have no problem substituting a different vegetable for one she hates. I had to eat all the vegetables that were served growing up and I'm not doing that to another person. Sitting there staring at cold peas was not a fun time and it did not teach me to like peas. I still hate peas! If something seriously makes you gag, you don't have to eat it in my house.
This method works well because she is still getting balanced nutrition and there is no drama at dinnertime.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 11:46:47 GMT -5
Me either! One has to draw a line somewhere! but what if your kid likes liver? they're forced to eat something they don't like but you do, shouldn't you have to do the same?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 5, 2014 11:50:21 GMT -5
If there's a food I really truly hate, my kids are going to have to learn if they like it elsewhere, sorry. If they want to learn to cook it for themselves, I'll buy it but I won't be cooking it. Mom likes liver & onions. My dad will eat ANYTHING (even the burnt toast) but even he wouldn't eat that.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Feb 5, 2014 11:53:19 GMT -5
That being said, doxieluvr brings up another good angle: ...:::"To me its not just having a list of things you wont touch but being selective in how its prepared.":::... Similar to what I said before: I get why a vegetarian might ask for food to be prepared in a separate pan from the one the meat was seared in, or that a prep cook change gloves or equipment if that handled meat. DW has some quirks that go beyond that though -- really down to the "you wouldn't notice if I didn't follow this rule" type. Some folks really choose the wrong combination of items to boycott though. I've been called picky for making similar requests at restaurants because I've got a nasty seafood allergy, and cross-contamination in the kitchen could actually cause anaphylactic shock. good thing my friends are easygoing about it, and it doesn't happen often. I might have to "educate" these idiots that just don't get it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 5, 2014 11:53:48 GMT -5
Me either! One has to draw a line somewhere! There is absolutely NO reason to ever eat any of those...blech! No, Ive never cooked them and I never will.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 11:54:08 GMT -5
Me either! One has to draw a line somewhere! but what if your kid likes liver? they're forced to eat something they don't like but you do, shouldn't you have to do the same? Mine will never know whether they like it or not until they move out of my house. And if they serve it to me I will choke some down to be nice because that is what polite people do. I have no problem being a hypocrite in this instance. Organ meat is disgusting!
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