gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jan 14, 2014 14:33:32 GMT -5
My youngest (16 months) is also a September 1st baby with a September 1st cut-off. Her due date was actually the 15th so she was going to be the oldest but now is set to be the absolute youngest. My oldest daughter (5 and a half) has a July birthday and I never thought about holding her back. I agree with almost everyone else that unless there is a really obvious issue, a child should be sent to school when they are old enough.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 14, 2014 14:40:50 GMT -5
The teachers said academically he's ready. At our first conference of the year they said he's ready. It's the social part that I worry about. OK, not to beat this horse, but is that how they phrased it? "Academically, he's ready." ? Because that does sound a little like an indication that they think he's ready in one area - academics - and maybe not in others.
Teachers are often positive people (good thing) and phrase things positively. You have to listen to what they say and also what they don't say. There could be hesitations they don't know how to phrase or for some reason think you aren't ready/able to hear. Not saying this is the case here, just giving you something to consider.
Notice the difference between the two:
"Your kid is ready for Kindergarten."
"Academically, your kid is ready for Kindergarten."
I bring it up because you've posted it twice, so it's something you may have noticed as well?
This is my concern, but I worry that I'm projecting. We put him in preschool because he looked at kids his own age like they had 3 heads. At the parent/child tumbling class he goes to with dh he ignored the kids but made friends with the coaches and other kids parents. Our goal.with preschool was to get him exposed to social interactions without dh and I. So in the first conference the teacher wanted to tell us how great his academics were I was like that's great but can he talk to the other kids? Is he melting down, can he transition between activities. My last email to her was that we were going to enroll in kindergarten regardless since a lot can change between now and august, but we wanted her gut feeling on if he was ready socially. All she did was talk about how academic kindergarten is and that ds is so bright so I should really go to the open house/registration. So I'm not sure if she's still trying to sell me on the school, or trying not to mention a particular problem. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Jan 14, 2014 14:51:30 GMT -5
The cut-off here is Dec 1, and 3 of my kids have Fall birthdays. I never considered holding them back - on the contrary, I tried to get them in school earlier, since they were academically ready. DD1 eventually began joining the grade above her for reading, since she was bored silly at her grade level. This was when she was in second grade. She was a bit socially immature, but mixing with the older kids was a good experience for her, and she needed the academic challenge.
The next year she was placed in the 3/4 combo classes - special ed and advanced kids from grades 3 and 4 were mixed together; some things they did jointly, some they broke out by ability. She matured and learned a lot about differences in individuals.
My older 4 kids never did pre-school. Our district began UPK a few years before DS5 was old enough, so he was the only one to get to do this. District policy is that 5yo cannot attend UPK, probably because enrollment is limited to 72 per year. If you do not enroll them for their 4 yo year, they can't do UPK, and either skip K for a year, attend a private pre-school, or got to K.
Personally, if my child is academically ready, I'd send them to Kindergarten. A large part of the social skills come from actually being with other kids and seeing how they do things. I do a weekly pre-school story hour at the library, and since the UPK has been instituted I've had to entirely eliminate the 4-5 yo hour; I only get the 2-3yo set now. Quite a few mothers/grandmothers bring their kids to story hour just for the socialization aspect on a trial basis; if their child is too antsy, they leave and maybe try one more time, and never come back. I've seen it many times - many of the kids are antsy the first few times, but they tend to settle down as they learn the routine and model the other kids' behavior. The ones that give up too early never let their kids get enough exposure.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 14, 2014 15:38:55 GMT -5
This is my concern, but I worry that I'm projecting. We put him in preschool because he looked at kids his own age like they had 3 heads. At the parent/child tumbling class he goes to with dh he ignored the kids but made friends with the coaches and other kids parents. Our goal.with preschool was to get him exposed to social interactions without dh and I. So in the first conference the teacher wanted to tell us how great his academics were I was like that's great but can he talk to the other kids? Is he melting down, can he transition between activities. My last email to her was that we were going to enroll in kindergarten regardless since a lot can change between now and august, but we wanted her gut feeling on if he was ready socially. All she did was talk about how academic kindergarten is and that ds is so bright so I should really go to the open house/registration. So I'm not sure if she's still trying to sell me on the school, or trying not to mention a particular problem. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I know your DS is older. When my DS was three, we told him he could have a friend birthday party. The first person he asked to invite was his preschool teacher. Also at three, DS was able to go to adult functions and smartly converse with them. He walked up to a fellow teacher whom he had met and said "So, what instrument do you teach?" Most were pretty shocked. My DS always loved to chat with his pediatrician, and any other adult that he can. Most find him quite charming. Even in school as a 1st grader, DS preferred the company of older children (3rd graders) over his peer group during recesses. Even now that he's 10, when there's drama on the playground, he's the first to leave the situation. It's just how he is.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jan 14, 2014 16:38:47 GMT -5
We did preschool for DS for the social interaction and because frankly he was bored at home. I was quite frankly relieved the first time he got in trouble at preschool. It was the middle of November (so a full 3 months after school started) and he and his friend were wrestling on the playground. Oops. They got in trouble another time for wrestling and then they got in trouble on the 3rd for not paying attention to the teacher.
One thing the teacher and the behavioral psychologist they have on staff said early in the year was that DS was really sensitive to sound. That was (still is) his reason for avoiding public restrooms. He also tended earlier in the year to cover his ears when things got loud and rambunctious in the classroom. Now that he has his friends (Kennedy and Tyson). I haven't heard of him having the problem as much now.
Rae, does your school have psychologist on staff?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 14, 2014 16:56:59 GMT -5
I'm not sure-I'll have to check and also look into outside evaluation. If a one on one adult sits down with him I'm sure he would get moved through since that's his comfort zone. I went back through correspondance with the teacher and she mentioned him working on, and them watching his self help skills. I like that term and explains some of my concerns. I think it was milee who said she wanted school to be a pleasant experience. That's my goal. We picked the top public school district, and I've always planned on additional tutoring that can have the kids working ahead and challenged if they're bored, or extra help in stuff they struggle with. I guess academically I feel like we can get any help he needs and I'm just not worried about that. I just don't want him to hate school because of all the other stuff. And going back here-I don't like the idea of him being a lot older because of dating situations in high school that gira mentioned too. 1 year isn't that much, but it is something to consider. Oped-on home schooling I think "we" could with dh doing the heavy lifting on the "we". But I don't think dh can handle that and work, and dh's personality tends toward negative and comes off condescending. If we could put my attitude with dh's brains it could be great. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Jan 14, 2014 18:40:03 GMT -5
I was a fall baby and the cut off was Aug 31st so I started when I was 5 going on 6. Our district here tests to see if your child is ready to start early. Friends that had fall birthdays were the same age, friends that had summer birthdays were younger but I had no problem with the age differences. I did have problems with kids I could not relate to had nothing to do with age though. I was one of those kids that turned 18 in the fall before I graduated. I would of never in a million years have quit high school with only having one semester left.
My daughter was also a fall baby. She is a year older than all of her friends it doesn't seem to bother her. She just has problems with the kids she can not relate to. She's in all AP classes and has no patience for people that do not pick up on things easily. if she has to explain things to you forget it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2014 21:26:14 GMT -5
I'm surprised by a December cut off. Ours is end September. People should be careful saying they want to homeschool but don't think its possible... T might tempt others to start talking about how, of course it is... No seriously, ill keep quiet. But message if you want ideas... Ok, I'll tempt the beast. After a lot of thought, I would like to homeschool rather than traditional school. Beyond that, I might even like to unschool a bit. I do not think I can do it - both DH and I work full time, 8-5 plus commutes. If you can figure out how to homeschool around that/figure out how to stop paying daycare, I'm all ears! Do you both have jobs? Or careers? What are your jobs? Or at least educational backgrounds? Are you willing to relocate? Do you own or rent? Do you live at the top of your budget now? Are there any homeschooling groups in your area? What state are you in? How old are your kids? That's a lot of detail. Messaging might be better. The more info I have the better I can give suggestions. I promise not to stalk you...
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jan 14, 2014 22:08:22 GMT -5
At the risk of complicating the decision, I'd urge everyone considering whether one's child is ready for school, to take a look at the grade level dynamic.
For example, if one's child is an introvert, or sensitive, or shy, or simply marches to the beat of his/her own drummer, then ask yourself whether the grade level peers accept/tolerate that. If your child is struggling to match his/her own personality to that of the larger group, then take a look at the grade level dynamic below him/her that he/she would join if retained at grade level. You need to make sure that retaining a kid who is naturally quiet doesn't then add him/her to a grade level of really active and physical peers. And, vice versa.
Also check to see whether there is a particular bully or cadre of kids who have a tendency to control their peers or at least the activities. This dynamic may or may not work for your child.
My point is, sometimes holding a kid back introduces a whole nother set of social issues that weren't present in the original peer group.
Teachers (especially preschool teachers who work with kindergarten teachers to place their students for the next year) usually/should know what the current social dynamic is for both the current peer group and the one a grade below. So, that knowledge can work in favor of recommending that a child repeat a grade BUT also work in favor of urging a less-than-really-ready child to advance if the peer group below would be a bad fit.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jan 15, 2014 9:35:32 GMT -5
2nd child (boy) is late July birthday. He actually failed the test at his private K-4 to enter K5. But when I talked to the teacher, he missed tow items on the test, one was to tell them his middle name (he gave them his full name instead) and the other was to stack blocks as high as he could, given 10 blocks. To pass you had to do 7. He insisted on making 2 stacks of 5 (which I think is actually a superior answer, but he missed it). We put him in K5 anyway. He was always behind socially, but was top of his class. Got STAR student award in high school (highest SAT + GPA). He is doing even better in college (senior year) and now has plenty of friends/nice girlfriend. Definitely success for non-redshirting
3rd child (boy) is Sept 13th birthday. And he was born 2 weeks late! My thoughts were if he was a premie he would be a year ahead, so didn't want him to be punished for being well developed baby. He was also very advanced, started reading at 3, very mature. So we put him in private school, and he was the youngest (a year ahead technically). He was ahead of everyone in elementary school and middle school, others caught up with him in high school, but ended up near top of his class. It sometimes bothered him that he was the last to get his driver's license, but if he complained I would (jokingly) tell him I could hold him back and put him with kids his own age!
The only downside for my youngest son was in high school sports. He played OL in football and he was late growing, he was a starting lineman his junior year at 6', senior year at 6'1. So many kids were held back that some of the kids in his class were almost 2 years older than him. Another year would have helped him with that, but in the long run that is not his career path. He is now at least 6'3 in his second year of college (and still may have another inch or so).
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 15, 2014 9:42:16 GMT -5
and the other was to stack blocks as high as he could, given 10 blocks. To pass you had to do 7. He insisted on making 2 stacks of 5
Sounds like me. I don't remember what the task was but my mom said I drove the evaluator insane because I came up with a "better" answer and they didn't want that they wanted me to follow directions. I kept insisting my answer was better. Meh, thinking outside the box serves me well in the profession I'm in. So suck it kindy evaluator.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2014 10:07:35 GMT -5
I think the block stacking 7 or more was to determine fine motor skills not any other thinking outside the box, and actually to me if the child stacked two sets of five it would indicate to me the child was aware that he couldn't stack higher than five, again fine motor skills.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Jan 15, 2014 10:15:28 GMT -5
I'm not sure-I'll have to check and also look into outside evaluation. If a one on one adult sits down with him I'm sure he would get moved through since that's his comfort zone. I went back through correspondance with the teacher and she mentioned him working on, and them watching his self help skills. I like that term and explains some of my concerns. I think it was milee who said she wanted school to be a pleasant experience. That's my goal. We picked the top public school district, and I've always planned on additional tutoring that can have the kids working ahead and challenged if they're bored, or extra help in stuff they struggle with. I guess academically I feel like we can get any help he needs and I'm just not worried about that. I just don't want him to hate school because of all the other stuff. And going back here-I don't like the idea of him being a lot older because of dating situations in high school that gira mentioned too. 1 year isn't that much, but it is something to consider. Oped-on home schooling I think "we" could with dh doing the heavy lifting on the "we". But I don't think dh can handle that and work, and dh's personality tends toward negative and comes off condescending. If we could put my attitude with dh's brains it could be great. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards The issue isn't always being academically behind - being academically ahead has it's own challenges. DD (2nd grade) is academically ahead and this year will be a wasted year for her. She isn't gifted, she's just a very solid student. To get in the gifted program at our district you have to test in the 98th percentile nationally on the standard tests. She's not at that level, she's just ahead in most every subject. Sure, the teachers can give her some harder work or have her read a book, but she's still spending a large part of her day bored because she's ahead of the class. That sure doesn't make school a "pleasant experience." Having harder work given to you by an outside party (either parent or tutor) doesn't work in our schools very well because if the kid has questions it's really hard to for the teacher to interrupt her day to help. A quick question - no problem. Difficulties understanding 3 digit subtraction with regrouping that would require a ten minute explanation and hand holding? Nope. If a teacher only has 45 minutes to teach math to all 28 kids each day, it's unfair to ask her to spend such a large amount of time on one kid doing above grade level work already. She has kids below grade level who need extra assistance. My DD wasn't redshirted so this isn't about your OP. But just wanted to point out that getting the right fit academically is more important IME than getting the right fit socially. And being ahead can really dampen your zest for going every day. JMO
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Jan 15, 2014 10:22:42 GMT -5
I think the block stacking 7 or more was to determine fine motor skills not any other thinking outside the box, and actually to me if the child stacked two sets of five it would indicate to me the child was aware that he couldn't stack higher than five, again fine motor skills. It would also make me question if they could follow directions yet. If the teacher asks them to stack 10 blocks, that's what they should do. I mean, if the teacher says to line up at door A to go to recess but a kid thinks door B is more logical, that isn't the point - the teacher said to line up at door A. But I honestly don't read too much into assessment tests. All they tell you is what you kid did at a given moment. Reading larger personality labels onto a kid based on whether they can do 10 blocks or 4 blocks or two 5 block towers on a random Monday when they are four is silly. JMO
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2014 10:34:37 GMT -5
Yes, those 'tests' do demonstrate the focus of most public education pretty well, I guess, sigh...
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 15, 2014 10:44:56 GMT -5
Just to clarify when I say I'm worried about his social skills, its not that I want him to be dale carnegie and get all the other kids to like him. I mean having the social skills and tools to effectively work in a kindergarten environment.
Preschool doesn't mind that he voluntarily sits out of certain activities that are too rambunctious. That isn't the case for most things in kindergarten.
We had an epic melt down this morning because ds was helping us cook and was trying to cut frozen butter. Dh went ahead and did it for him, and I'd say there was at least 15 minutes crying/yelling/throwing himself on the bed, maybe longer because ds wanted to do it himself. That behavior isn't going to fly in kindergarten, so I'm trying to get a grasp on how he deals with those issues at school.
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Jan 15, 2014 10:49:10 GMT -5
I think as parents we sometimes fret too much about such decisions. My DS has a summer birthday, and he started Kindergarten just after turning 5. After he had successfully completed the whole Kindergarten year, I was surprised that his teacher recommended to me that I have him repeat Kindy. Her reasoning? He was a little immature, and was a bit behind in small motor skills, which affected his penmanship. (He also was reading at the 2nd grade level.)
I fretted over this conversation WAY to much as I look back at it. My gut told me he was ready to progress, but his teacher had told me otherwise -- shouldn't she know what she was talking about?
Needless to say, I ignored her, and he started 1st grade on schedule. I never had another teacher tell me he was immature. He is now a freshman in college, and doing just fine (though his handwriting still looks like chicken-scratch)
If I had held him back, I'm sure I could still write an answer to this thread saying that was the right thing to do.
Anecdotally, you will be able to find plenty of stories where holding back was right, or sending them on was right.
So, give it some thought, discuss with your DH, listen to your gut and make a decision. Don't second-guess yourself after you have made your decision, because the fact that you care so much means you will continue to be a supportive parent, and your son will do just fine.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2014 10:49:40 GMT -5
We were in your same boat probably exactly one year ago and ended up red-shirting our son. I don't think it affects everyone in the class at all because, like you say, after a couple years it all evens out right? Can't have it both ways. Besides, someone with an August b-day can potentially be a full year behind someone with the Sept b-day. So no matter how you cut it, some kids are going to be significantly older than their peers.
I don't think there are many preschool or kindergarten teachers that would really have the guts to say hold your kid back. I think they fall back on things like "He's ready to go in, but if you have doubts then it might be something to consider". Personally, I spoke with the gradeschool principal and asked him to give me an idea of where the birth months were for incoming kindergartners. In our case, there were 21 kids with summer b-days. 7 of them were red-shirted (all boys) and 14 of them were put through on schedule (half and half). I know there were 4 kindergarten classes, so I kind figured that there would be basically 2 boys that would be a full year older than him and then a whole heap of kids that are a solid 6-9 months older. When I coupled that with the fact that he was already socially/emotionally a little immature, we decided it was a good move to hold him back. As a sidenote, and this is probably obvious, one thing that the principal said is that while the majority of the people are ok with their decision (either way), any regret is always on the side of not holding their kid back.
For us, I’m already happy with the decision and I don’t have the stress that I had last year thinking about what to do. I was really not concerned about academics or sports when I made the decision, but it was more just feeling comfortable and confident among their peers.
I will say that what might have been a deal breaker for us is how he would’ve spent his extra year in preschool. He had already done 2 years of preschool and I really didn’t want him to just repeat another year. We had tossed around the idea of doing Kindergarten at a private school and then switching him over to a public school to repeat kindergarten. But then we found a program by our house that is basically for kids from June-December of 08’. So kids that were held-back or just missed the cutoff. For him, it’s been great because he’s grown a lot during this year and gained a ton of confidence so I think it’ll be a smooth landing for him in Kindergarten.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 15, 2014 10:52:52 GMT -5
Gwen acts like that at home, she wants to assert her independence. I never hear anything about tantrums at daycare. I've been thinking they tend to let her be more independent than I do. Old habits die hard, DH and I are quicker to help. At daycare/preschool they must have her try to figure it out more on her own. So I'm trying to back off unless it might be safety related (like helping me in the kitchen). She's been doing a lot better with us being more hands off and I encourage her to "work thru it" whenever she starts to get pissed off. That and kids are assholes towards their parents because they know we're obligated to keep 'em. Do you have a copy of todder 411? They have a list of social skills that on average a 3-4 year old should have mastered or be on his way to mastering. They also have a chapter devoted to "How do you know your kid is ready for pre-school?" which you could reasonably use to figure out kindy too. It's not perfect but it would give you a place to start rather than worrying. I can PM it to you when I get home if you want. I have a copy on my NOOK.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2014 11:00:46 GMT -5
I'm not sure-I'll have to check and also look into outside evaluation. If a one on one adult sits down with him I'm sure he would get moved through since that's his comfort zone. I went back through correspondance with the teacher and she mentioned him working on, and them watching his self help skills. I like that term and explains some of my concerns. I think it was milee who said she wanted school to be a pleasant experience. That's my goal. We picked the top public school district, and I've always planned on additional tutoring that can have the kids working ahead and challenged if they're bored, or extra help in stuff they struggle with. I guess academically I feel like we can get any help he needs and I'm just not worried about that. I just don't want him to hate school because of all the other stuff. And going back here-I don't like the idea of him being a lot older because of dating situations in high school that gira mentioned too. 1 year isn't that much, but it is something to consider. Oped-on home schooling I think "we" could with dh doing the heavy lifting on the "we". But I don't think dh can handle that and work, and dh's personality tends toward negative and comes off condescending. If we could put my attitude with dh's brains it could be great. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards The issue isn't always being academically behind - being academically ahead has it's own challenges. DD (2nd grade) is academically ahead and this year will be a wasted year for her. She isn't gifted, she's just a very solid student. To get in the gifted program at our district you have to test in the 98th percentile nationally on the standard tests. She's not at that level, she's just ahead in most every subject. Sure, the teachers can give her some harder work or have her read a book, but she's still spending a large part of her day bored because she's ahead of the class. That sure doesn't make school a "pleasant experience." Having harder work given to you by an outside party (either parent or tutor) doesn't work in our schools very well because if the kid has questions it's really hard to for the teacher to interrupt her day to help. A quick question - no problem. Difficulties understanding 3 digit subtraction with regrouping that would require a ten minute explanation and hand holding? Nope. If a teacher only has 45 minutes to teach math to all 28 kids each day, it's unfair to ask her to spend such a large amount of time on one kid doing above grade level work already. She has kids below grade level who need extra assistance. My DD wasn't redshirted so this isn't about your OP. But just wanted to point out that getting the right fit academically is more important IME than getting the right fit socially. And being ahead can really dampen your zest for going every day. JMO I think if someone that is “ahead” academically and is bored in school, then I think it’s a matter of the school doing a bad job at teaching. My wife is a teacher and I hear the methods they use to differentiate to meet the needs of kids in her kids. It’s not like they just teach the lesson to the average student and can only deviate a bit in each direction. It reminds me of my co-worker who said that his son was really far ahead so the teacher just ended up giving him extra work. And when the parents wanted him challenged more, they moved him up a grade and now he is struggling socially. I think it’s the opposite, you find the right fit for them socially (within reason) and the school has the tools to help meet the needs of the kids in the class. You can take a bunch of kids with March b-days in the same year and they will be all over the board in terms of academics. That is the job of the teacher to tailor the lesson to them.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 15, 2014 11:07:56 GMT -5
But the problem my SIL the teacher has is that she's got about 35 kids in her class, at multiple different places in ALL subjects. Not to mention that they're all over the map with physical and emotional development too. Granted, she's teaching 5th or 6th grade this year.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 15, 2014 11:19:57 GMT -5
Preschool doesn't mind that he voluntarily sits out of certain activities that are too rambunctious. That isn't the case for most things in kindergarten. Have you observed the kindy class? Ours (private school) allows the kids to do rambunctious activities during free choice time, only. So, if a kid would rather sit and do puzzles, it's fine. They go to the puzzle nook, and do puzzles. Or to the reading area and look at books. Or, are you concerned that your DS is going to sit out on activities, he doesn't like, period? If it's this, does your DS have a healthy respect for authority? Are there specific social skills you are concerned about? Social skills is pretty broad. Is your DS unable to take turns or share? Have empathy for others? Doesn't respect authority beyond you and DH? Does he not listen? Not pay attention for more than 10-15 minutes? Does he have separation anxiety? Are there self care issues?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jan 15, 2014 11:36:17 GMT -5
The problem with all those tests for little kids is that no one really knows or will ever know why Johnny put 5 blocks together and not 7.
Yes, I am sure there are "studies" and "statistics" and all that other good stuff, but at the end of the day, the reason we have five millions different parenting books and approaches is bc we don't have a clue what is REALLY going on in heads of little ones.
And if I had to decide whether my kid should be going to K or not, I would be very pissed if it was determined by any given test or I had to take a word of a teacher or anyone else.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2014 11:50:04 GMT -5
But the problem my SIL the teacher has is that she's got about 35 kids in her class, at multiple different places in ALL subjects. Not to mention that they're all over the map with physical and emotional development too. Granted, she's teaching 5th or 6th grade this year. I don't know if the number of kids in a class would matter all that much, although I agree it wouldn't exactly be easier. I think most classrooms are run these days is to do a pre-assessment and then break kids up by their command of that specific lesson. The kids that do well get slightly harder work to challenge them further (not just more work) and the kids that are falling behind get more time with the teacher. Whether there are 20 or 35 kids, I would think you're still breaking them up in 3 groups I would think. 5th and 6th grade though? Aren't they switching classes at that point?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 15, 2014 11:56:18 GMT -5
Preschool doesn't mind that he voluntarily sits out of certain activities that are too rambunctious. That isn't the case for most things in kindergarten. Have you observed the kindy class? Ours (private school) allows the kids to do rambunctious activities during free choice time, only. So, if a kid would rather sit and do puzzles, it's fine. They go to the puzzle nook, and do puzzles. Or to the reading area and look at books. Or, are you concerned that your DS is going to sit out on activities, he doesn't like, period? If it's this, does your DS have a healthy respect for authority? Are there specific social skills you are concerned about? Social skills is pretty broad. Is your DS unable to take turns or share? Have empathy for others? Doesn't respect authority beyond you and DH? Does he not listen? Not pay attention for more than 10-15 minutes? Does he have separation anxiety? Are there self care issues? Have you observed the kindy class? No--and I'm not positive which school he'll get into. It's a bit complicated but the preschool he's at isn't his home school and we're hoping we get in anyway, except found out that they will only have full time kindergarten which I'm not a fan of. Unless dh gets the day job he's trying for, then we might be praying for full time kindergarten from a cost standpoint. All answers below are based on things at home. We haven't had any issues at school that he isn't listening to the teachers or has any issues with the other kids. I think at school he is still just absorbing everything. For example he wasn't eating much of his lunches and he told us he didn't have time. Found out from the teachers that he doesn't talk with the other kids, but he watches what everyone else is doing and is just too distracted to eat his lunch. So we've changed how we pack lunch which seems to be helping that issue. Or, are you concerned that your DS is going to sit out on activities, he doesn't like, period? If it's this, does your DS have a healthy respect for authority? I am. I think he has a lot more respect for authority outside of dh and I. Are there specific social skills you are concerned about? Ability to transition between activities, and ability to recover from disappointments. Is your DS unable to take turns or share? Yes, when he wants to. When he doesn't he might concede or we might have a fit. Have empathy for others? He is probably a little to empathetic for his own good. He'll have a melt down because someone else is crying. Doesn't respect authority beyond you and DH? Respects everyone else, way, way more than dh and I. Does he not listen? When he wants to. This last weekend listening skills were awful, but typically pretty good and helpful. Easily distractable though. Not pay attention for more than 10-15 minutes? Really circumstantial. Many times yes, but other times he can't remember that his left foot already has a sock on it so he puts a 2nd sock on the same foot. Does he have separation anxiety? Over the summer we had a huge separation anxiety issue that is lessened but still an issue. He still won't spend the night anywhere but home, won't sleep in his own bed (we cosleep and were having good luck transitioning him to his own bed, but he's put the kibosh on that). It took 2 months of preschool (2 days a week) for him to go into school without crying, most of those 2 months the teacher would have to physically remove ds from dh and carry him into the classroom. Now ds is still sad when dh leaves, but he walks into the classroom of his own free will. Such improvement! Are there self care issues? I'm not sure what you mean on this one?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 15, 2014 11:58:31 GMT -5
I would be very pissed if it was determined by any given test or I had to take a word of a teacher or anyone else.
This will piss you off then. My kindy teacher wanted me held back because I couldn't. . .wait for it. . .skip. As in "Lou Lou skip to my Lou" type skip. My dad looked at her and told her his tax dollars aren't going to teach me how to skip. So far my ability to handle life has not been impared by not knowing how to skip. I do joke it's why I have the grace of a bull in a china shop.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 15, 2014 11:58:59 GMT -5
But the problem my SIL the teacher has is that she's got about 35 kids in her class, at multiple different places in ALL subjects. Not to mention that they're all over the map with physical and emotional development too. Granted, she's teaching 5th or 6th grade this year. I don't know if the number of kids in a class would matter all that much, although I agree it wouldn't exactly be easier. I think most classrooms are run these days is to do a pre-assessment and then break kids up by their command of that specific lesson. The kids that do well get slightly harder work to challenge them further (not just more work) and the kids that are falling behind get more time with the teacher. Whether there are 20 or 35 kids, I would think you're still breaking them up in 3 groups I would think. 5th and 6th grade though? Aren't they switching classes at that point? She's got kids who speak next to no English. I think she's doing 6 different math sections. Reading is everywhere from 2nd grade level to college, from what she's said. Some schools go to 8th grade, others to 5th. And I'm sorry, I'm distracting from Rae's OP about kindergarten.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 15, 2014 12:01:35 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2014 12:02:45 GMT -5
Can he wipe himself without assistance.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 15, 2014 12:06:14 GMT -5
There is a definite reach to how much they can deviate - especially if it's not groups of kids on the higher end of the spectrum. An example from when I was a kid, I was beyond 4th grade math by the time I started 4th grade, but I was the only one. There were others that picked up the math quicker, but not as quick as me. And I got bored, and as such tried to entertain myself. So to distract me the teacher gave me 5th grade math, good - until I blew through that, oh and it would then create problems in 5th grade of already knowing everything. She ended up having to give me a 6th grade math book and I was on independent study - told to do the questions with answers in the back so I could check my own work. Worked for me, but not every kid can do independent study, especially at that young of an age. Luckily in 5th grade there were a couple of us in the same class on the same level so it was a big enough group to warrant the teacher carving out things just for us, but even then I was pretty bored I just had friends to talk to until we moved to the next lesson.
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