"Christian" couple leaves anti-gay rant instead of tip

[Deleted]

Oct 28, 2013 19:26:25 GMT -5 steff said:

It should also be noted that in many chain sit down restaurants, tips are pooled at the end of the night & divided between all the servers.  Waiters & waitresses also tip out the bartenders & busboys from their tips.

That's very true too. I am afraid to say, not just chain restaurants.

[kittensaver]

Oct 28, 2013 19:29:50 GMT -5 @nia said:

Oct 28, 2013 19:26:25 GMT -5 steff said:

It should also be noted that in many chain sit down restaurants, tips are pooled at the end of the night & divided between all the servers.  Waiters & waitresses also tip out the bartenders & busboys from their tips.

That's very true too. I am afraid to say, not just chain restaurants.

All the more reason not to use a "righteous/religious" excuse to be an a-hole . . . Go ahead and be who you are and believe what you want, just please for the love of God don't inflict it on the poor sot who's just trying to make a living by serving you . . . (the "big you," not you, Nia )

[mmhmm]

Oct 28, 2013 18:57:46 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Oct 28, 2013 18:56:28 GMT -5 Shooby said:

He said "back in the day" not now.

And I'm still trying to figure out how "back in the day" has any relevance to a conversation today . . . .

It doesn't have any relevance; particularly, because it wasn't even illegal to be gay "back in the day".  Sodomy laws existed but they concerned sexual acts, not sexual orientation.

[steff]

Most don't realize that even the busboys are only making the roughly $2.13 an hour & the ONLY extra they make is from the tips the waiters get.  They don't have a chance to impress a customer to earn a tip.  an impressed customer is one that isn't having to stand & wait & watch the buser clear & clean the table.  But that same impressed customer isn't going to tip extra because they got a clean table.  

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

It seems nowadays, all a guy has to do to be "classified as gay on sight" is to dress nicely, have clean trimmed nails, a great haircut, or talk with a soft voice.

If you saw my nephew on sight, he might "appear" gay to you too - he has blonde spiked hair (with highlights - oh, no!!), well-dressed - he even irons creases in his bluejeans, and very soft-spoken/polite.

He's also straight as an arrow and married (to a woman).

If he had been the server at this restaurant and waiting on this couple he probably would have been "judged on sight" as well.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Oct 28, 2013 18:44:11 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Oct 28, 2013 18:38:48 GMT -5 oped said:

When was being gay illegal? 

Who said it was?  It isn't illegal to write a note and not leave a tip either.

Not leaving a tip was being a cheapskate - writing the note, on the other hand, was being an intolerant ass-hat bigot!

[Tennesseer]

The country has a long way to go in regards to employment discrimination as it pertains to sexual orientation and gender identity.

Non-Discrimination Laws: State by State Information - Map

[steff]

I will say that because I was a bartender & made most of my money on tips, I absolutely over tip.  it makes hubby insane because if we get really good service, I'll tip WAY over the expected. 

I was lucky in that I worked in a small neighborhood bar & was the only one working, so if it went into a tip jar it was ALL mine.  I also saw the same 50 people every day, so often I got a 'weekly' tip when they paid their weekly tab.  I could get a $100 tip from a couple of people & $50 from 4 or 5 other regulars on Fridays.  Mon-Thursday I could be lucky to make $50 total. Friday - Sunday I could make a small fortune. 

[chiver78]

you and me both, steff.....and my "waitressing" was working a ridiculously efficient AM coffee house shift. over a decade later, my mom and I refer to people we haven't seen in years but have run into around town as "so and so that got a CNS/sugar raised, around 630AM" and we know who the other is talking about.

I also tend to leave at least 20% unless the service or kitchen wait has been atrocious. and I've filled in when others in the group haven't pitched in appropriately.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Just keep in mind there are state laws in addition to the federal.  In California wait staff, buss boys, bartenders, etc., get the state minimum wage, which is $8 an hour, in addition to their tips.

States that still allow a lower minimum wage for people who receive tips have to pay enough to get the employee up to minimum wage after the tips are accounted for, if they aren't making enough in tips to put them over minimum already.

[Deleted]

The customer's approach to help change a heart/mind to convert to their way of believing, was wrong on so many levels-- Whether one believes in Christianity or not. 

The customer's may not have tipped the waiter, but customers paying for their meals in ANY restaurant certainly help pay employees wages. 

[Deleted]

This couple should cease being served by others, period.

There are all sorts of people serving the public who do all sorts of things behind closed doors.. 

[EVT1]

Can I assume mtman will support eliminating the exception to minimum wage for tipped employees? 

And for the legal question- being gay was never illegal.  That is a status offense- akin to making being a drug addict illegal.  This country left all of that bullshit behind a long time ago- maybe some pine for it.  They probably pine for debtors prisons as well.

[mtman]

Oct 28, 2013 21:28:46 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

Can I assume mtman will support eliminating the exception to minimum wage for tipped employees?  

You can assume anything you want.

[EVT1]

Oct 28, 2013 21:48:42 GMT -5 mtman said:

Oct 28, 2013 21:28:46 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

Can I assume mtman will support eliminating the exception to minimum wage for tipped employees?  

You can assume anything you want.

You made the argument, not me,  so it is in your lap.  What are you going to do?

I assume you will not have an answer- but I hope you do- love to hear it.

[djAdvocate]

Oct 28, 2013 14:24:58 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Oct 28, 2013 14:09:23 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

That fundamentalist Christians are judgmental assholes.

Um, yeah, that sound pretty assholey judgmental too.  So, I don't think you get to put down an entire group of people based on  two people.

i have no problem with being judgmental, personally.  he who is without judgment may as well be dead.

prejudicial is another matter entirely, however.

[djAdvocate]

Oct 28, 2013 14:32:05 GMT -5 mtman said:

Oct 28, 2013 14:27:36 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Being Gay isn't against the law

Back in the day it was.

yeah.  the good old days.  when men were men, and women were chattel.

[djAdvocate]

Oct 28, 2013 17:51:01 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I'm still trying to figure out how they knew he was gay?

maybe the pink mini and the feather boa gave him away?

[djAdvocate]

Oct 28, 2013 18:09:33 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I remembered the movie! THE BIRDCAGE with Robin Williams. That's what I meant about being obvious but restaurants, unless they are in primarily gay areas, aren't going to hire someone who is obvious about his or her orientation. So unless the server told them or they asked him and he told them, how could they freakin know? This is just weird. There has to be more to this story.

a fair supposition.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

So unless the server told them or they asked him and he told them, how could they freakin know? This is just weird. There has to be more to this story.

They had no way of knowing if this server was gay or straight - it was based on preconceived notions on their part. He "looked" gay (at least to them).


And again I repeat myself - it was very Un-Christian - and bigoted/hateful.

I hope they reap the shame they deserve for their behavior. I'd be embarrassed to know/be associated in any way with this couple for their actions (and so called "Christian" beliefs). That isn't the Christian faith I was brought up under - which was to "love thy neighbor as thyself".

This couple is far from "Christian - simply by this latest action. Who knows who else they've shunned - treated like crap in the past?

[Tennesseer]

Oct 29, 2013 1:06:33 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

The Southern Baptist Convention (Church) didn't even begin to apologize for its racist roots, defensive of slavery, segregation and white supremacism until 1995.  If a christian sect that large (16 million members) in the U.S. held on that long to its racist beliefs, what racist/bigoted beliefs must some of these smaller, regional, Christian sub-sects still be holding on to?

[mmhmm]

Oct 29, 2013 1:06:33 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

So unless the server told them or they asked him and he told them, how could they freakin know? This is just weird. There has to be more to this story.

They had no way of knowing if this server was gay or straight - it was based on preconceived notions on their part. He "looked" gay (at least to them).


And again I repeat myself - it was very Un-Christian - and bigoted/hateful.

I hope they reap the shame they deserve for their behavior. I'd be embarrassed to know/be associated in any way with this couple for their actions (and so called "Christian" beliefs). That isn't the Christian faith I was brought up under - which was to "love thy neighbor as thyself".

This couple is far from "Christian - simply by this latest action. Who knows who else they've shunned - treated like crap in the past?

I worked with a delightful young man who, because of his mannerisms, apparently was perceived as "gay" by some.  I knew him and his family well.  He and his wife had three adorable children and he was a wonderful father.  He wasn't anything approaching "gay", but that's the way those who wanted to judge him, saw him.  Some of those people had the audacity to ask me if he was "gay".  They weren't even civilized enough to realize asking me such a question was revolting.  Those who wish to hate are going to hate, apparently, and they don't require anything more than a thought in their own minds to do so.  Frankly, it disgusts me.

[Deleted]

Oct 29, 2013 9:11:41 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Oct 29, 2013 1:06:33 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

They had no way of knowing if this server was gay or straight - it was based on preconceived notions on their part. He "looked" gay (at least to them).


And again I repeat myself - it was very Un-Christian - and bigoted/hateful.

I hope they reap the shame they deserve for their behavior. I'd be embarrassed to know/be associated in any way with this couple for their actions (and so called "Christian" beliefs). That isn't the Christian faith I was brought up under - which was to "love thy neighbor as thyself".

This couple is far from "Christian - simply by this latest action. Who knows who else they've shunned - treated like crap in the past?

I worked with a delightful young man who, because of his mannerisms, apparently was perceived as "gay" by some.  I knew him and his family well.  He and his wife had three adorable children and he was a wonderful father.  He wasn't anything approaching "gay", but that's the way those who wanted to judge him, saw him.  Some of those people had the audacity to ask me if he was "gay".  They weren't even civilized enough to realize asking me such a question was revolting.  Those who wish to hate are going to hate, apparently, and they don't require anything more than a thought in their own minds to do so.  Frankly, it disgusts me.

Could have been that he was gay and hiding his feelings.

Also, is it really revolting to ask if a person is gay?   If so, what does that say about someone who is gay?

[mmhmm]

Heh.  No, he wasn't gay and hiding his feelings, Archie.  I've known this guy for nearly 20 years, and I know his mother.  He and his wife went to high school together.  He's not gay, and he's never been gay.  He's not the only guy I know who, by virtue of no more than mannerisms, or tone of voice, or physical appearance, has been mistaken for something they're not - in both directions.

To ask me if someone else is gay is, as I see it, revolting - yes.  If you want to know if someone is gay, ask that someone.  Have the guts to face the person you've made some stupid decision about.  Don't ask me about someone else.

[Deleted]

Oct 29, 2013 9:19:21 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Heh.  No, he wasn't gay and hiding his feelings, Archie.  I've known this guy for nearly 20 years, and I know his mother.  He and his wife went to high school together.  He's not gay, and he's never been gay.  He's not the only guy I know who, by virtue of no more than mannerisms, or tone of voice, or physical appearance, has been mistaken for something they're not - in both directions.

To ask me if someone else is gay is, as I see it, revolting - yes.  If you want to know if someone is gay, ask that someone.  Have the guts to face the person you've made some stupid decision about.  Don't ask me about someone else.

people are not allowed to ask you about someone else.  What if someone asked you about someone else's job, or family, or schooling, or color of their car?   Are those revolting questions to?

[Deleted]

So Archie, are you Straight? 

[Deleted]

Oct 29, 2013 9:23:34 GMT -5 oped said:

So Archie, are you Straight? 

I'm still trying to figure it out.    

[billisonboard]

Oct 29, 2013 9:13:48 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

...

"Might you be heterosexual? " 

[mmhmm]

Oct 29, 2013 9:23:21 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Oct 29, 2013 9:19:21 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Heh.  No, he wasn't gay and hiding his feelings, Archie.  I've known this guy for nearly 20 years, and I know his mother.  He and his wife went to high school together.  He's not gay, and he's never been gay.  He's not the only guy I know who, by virtue of no more than mannerisms, or tone of voice, or physical appearance, has been mistaken for something they're not - in both directions.

To ask me if someone else is gay is, as I see it, revolting - yes.  If you want to know if someone is gay, ask that someone.  Have the guts to face the person you've made some stupid decision about.  Don't ask me about someone else.

people are not allowed to ask you about someone else.  What if someone asked you about someone else's job, or family, or schooling, or color of their car?   Are those revolting questions to?

I'm not into gossip, Archie.  YMMV.  If someone wants to know about a personal aspect of another's life, they need to ask the person living that life.  I can assure you, I'm not going to discuss it.  I think you realize someone's sexual orientation is not the same as the color of someone's car.

[Tennesseer]

Oct 29, 2013 9:19:21 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Heh.  No, he wasn't gay and hiding his feelings, Archie.  I've known this guy for nearly 20 years, and I know his mother.  He and his wife went to high school together.  He's not gay, and he's never been gay.  He's not the only guy I know who, by virtue of no more than mannerisms, or toneare'oice, or physical appearance, has been mistaken for something they're not - in both directions.

To ask me if someone else is gay is, as I see it, revolting - yes.  If you want to know if someone is gay, ask that someone.  Have the guts to face the person you've made some stupid decision about.  Don't ask me about someone else.

Your post reminds me of a friend of mine who moved here too at the request of our employer.  

My friend, a Roman Catholic, went to a local social event.  One woman she had just met for the first time asked my friend what church she attended.  When my friend responded with the name of a local Catholic church, the woman replied "Oh.  So you aren't Christian."