How did we get dragged into this?

[mmhmm]

I find myself wondering where the "Why have you stopped living life" came from.  If SIL lives so far away, how does she know MIL has "stopped living life".  I'm wondering if that statement might have come from some concern SIL picked up from an email, or snail mail, or other type of communication from MIL or one of the boys.  To me, not travelling across the country doesn't equate to "stopped living life".

Diabetes and hypertension, while problematic if not controlled properly, shouldn't preclude MIL from visiting, even if travel is required.  It sounds like MIL is "holing up" in her house and not doing much of anything.  If SIL has gotten wind of this, that last comment may well have come from concern.  Just something to think about ...

[Opti]

And it does take more effort to get on a plane, but this is her daughter. I don't understand why she wouldn't want to see her daughter and granddaughter especially when she doesn't have to pay for the trip. Is their relationship fractured?

I have different thoughts on this than some possibly because I live in a different state
than the rest of my family. When I used to go to visit I preferred to stay with my Mom
as she is the easiest to stay with. Staying with my one control freak sib is a major PITA
and staying with my Dad has a host of issues as well including features like water from the
shower that ran with rust and could scald you on a moment's notice. One of the unfun things of traveling to see them is that one, they have the house rules they want you to follow which is often more anal that what they'd expect out of other guests, and two)
my sibs do not come out to see me so its very one-sided.

Its not just going on the place to see the daughter in a soccer game. Its living with SIL
for probably at least a weekend or more. If she's this much of a manipulative control freak, its probably more about her and how she wants grandma to act and not as much about the grand-daughter relationship. She could spend the same $$ and send grand-daughter there for a weekend or various other solutions. Many of you presume because grandma is retired she should do what her daughter wants even if she had no choice in where daughter lived, when she had kids, etc. Why is grandma's life choices less important than what SIL wants?

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 12:48:02 GMT -5 greeniis10 said:

Oct 25, 2013 12:39:57 GMT -5 whoami said:

Looking at it from the SILs perspective however...I dont know that traveling is any more strenuous that watching a couple of babies "quite a bit".  I can understand why SIL would be annoyed.  Even the OP acknowledged that DH had to basically "force" MIL to be involved with the GK.  It seems like the SIL is doing the same thing with the only difference being the traveling.  Yes its a PITA, but hardly impossible.  I was on a flight last week that had 11 people in wheelchairs.  They were not together either.

Good point.  I'm sure I'm projecting a bit as I have one health issue that makes traveling extremely stressful. 

And, as noted, not everyone was cut out to be a grandparent and some people just don't like to travel, period. 

I do think that is the bottom line that MIL does not like to travel.  She is a homebody and does not want to leave her house. The grandparents side, she is a pretty loving and affectionate Grandparent, but not one to make the effort to be there Grandparent. (Like I had and like my parents are). 

I totally get my niece wanting her Grandma to see her play.  All of my Grandparents saw me run track except for my Dad's dad who had alzheimers and was in the nursing home by the time I reached college.  My mom's parents lived nearby and went to every meet. If the meet was east of us, my Great Aunt and Uncle made the trip to watch. My Grandma and Great Aunt have seen all my nieces (on that side of the family) play soccer.  My niece is an awesome soccer player. She will more than likely play in college. If I were her, I would want my Grandma to see me once. The brother's are all on their mom's side (bunch of mama's boys ).  They are angry at how SIL worded the email and worried about their mom's reaction. 

[busymom]

My Dad, when he was about the age of your MIL, was exhausted after visiting with his grandkids.  After a 2 or 3 hour visit, he'd nap until dinnertime.


Dad suffered from Type 2 diabetes.  I don't know all of the symptoms associated with it, but Mom always had much more energy than he did.  Maybe the combination of diabetes & high blood pressure meds wear your MIL out?!? 


Or, maybe MIL is aware that SIL is a chain-jerker, & doesn't want to play her game.

[Opti]

Also, someone repeatedly saying "Now is not a good time" is a traditionally
passive aggressive way of saying I don't want to come ever.

If you saw MIL in several cuts in a movie saying this over and over wearing different clothes
in different seasons you'd get the point she didn't want to come at all. Because we are reading it, most are assuming other motives or reasons.

She doesn't want to go because she doesn't want to go. Simple.
One of my aunts is scared of flying and I'm not sure she's ever flown.
If she can't visit by car she doesn't come and now she no longer goes to
church because she feels uncomfortable around too many people. Her issue, her choice.
FWIW.

[zibazinski]

Well, seriously? She's well enough to babysit at 75 very young children but not well enough to watch a teenager play sports? I don't blame her daughter for being pissed. 

[HoneyBBQ]

This hits very close to home for me. As many of you know, I have a 2 yr old. My mother has only seen her 2 days in the past *10* months. She came up for ONE weekend since Xmas.  And if you have kids, you know how much they change in the first few years. She is a completely different child than she was 6 or even 4 months ago. And this particular grandmother hasn't seen it at all. 

Yes, it requires my mother traveling by plane, but it just isn't that long of flight (3 hrs). And you know what, I'm angry at her that her grandchild isn't more of a priority. It isn't the money, and she has all the time in the world. It's about being chosen second, or third, or last. She's missing out. And I feel badly that her grandmother is so uninvolved in her life.

So, while I don't like the email that cc'd everyone and all bit, I do understand her being upset. I think she has a point.

It doesn't sound like your MIL is terribly unhealthy (what 75+ year old doesn't at least have one ailment??) I think she should make the effort.

Just my 2 cents.

[emma1420]

Oct 25, 2013 13:36:07 GMT -5 Opti said:

And it does take more effort to get on a plane, but this is her daughter. I don't understand why she wouldn't want to see her daughter and granddaughter especially when she doesn't have to pay for the trip. Is their relationship fractured?

I have different thoughts on this than some possibly because I live in a different state
than the rest of my family. When I used to go to visit I preferred to stay with my Mom
as she is the easiest to stay with. Staying with my one control freak sib is a major PITA
and staying with my Dad has a host of issues as well including features like water from the
shower that ran with rust and could scald you on a moment's notice. One of the unfun things of traveling to see them is that one, they have the house rules they want you to follow which is often more anal that what they'd expect out of other guests, and two)
my sibs do not come out to see me so its very one-sided.

Its not just going on the place to see the daughter in a soccer game. Its living with SIL
for probably at least a weekend or more. If she's this much of a manipulative control freak, its probably more about her and how she wants grandma to act and not as much about the grand-daughter relationship. She could spend the same $$ and send grand-daughter there for a weekend or various other solutions. Many of you presume because grandma is retired she should do what her daughter wants even if she had no choice in where daughter lived, when she had kids, etc. Why is grandma's life choices less important than what SIL wants?

I understand being more comfortable in one person's house than another.  I live in a different country than the majority of my family.   And I don't think we know if the SIL is a manipulative control freak.  And even if she is a bit of a control freak, no one is saying that this has to be a months long visit.   MIL could go for a week (or even less) if that would be easier.


It sounds to me that MIL just doesn't to go and visit her daughter.  I guess I don't get it.  SIL could have probably handled the emailing better, but I don't think her request and pleading her mother to come and see her was out of line.

[muttleynfelix]

Ok, my email is working better now. This is what MIL wrote to SIl that sparked the reply to MIL and BILs:

Hi Sweetie:

I have given your invitation a lot of thought and unfortunately feel that now is not the right time for me to leave the house. I would love to see "A" at her soccer game, but maybe at some other time.

The boys almost got BIL#1's carport and shop done last week. They worked from a.m. to late in the evening. One night they worked until 2:00a.m. It is almost done, but BIL#1 had to go back to work this week. I took care of  (my DD) on Wednesday and Friday for a few hours so (my DH) could help.  (my DS) went with him and had lot of fun.  
 
BIL #2 has heard nothing about a job. He had been working, construction, for a guy and hopes to do some more work for him in early November if he cannot find a job in his field. There are a lot of jobs out there, but not full time. Nobody wants to hire full time; one reason being the insurance scam (I think) and BIL #2 cannot make it on parttime work. He is helping me a lot around the house, but I just don't care to leave at the present time. I know you understand.

Still having problems with church and now the presbytery has disbanded the session, which is like the church council, and so do not know what is going to happen next. They are supposed to be looking for a new pastor for us, but so far not much luck. What a mess.

Well dear one, please take care of yourself and A. I love you both so much.

Love and kisses,


Mom

... I think I would be pissed if I got that email coming from my mom saying no I can't visit you, but look at what your brothers are all up to.

That said, part of the reason I don't think MIL wants to leave is because BIL #2 is living at her house right now.  BIL #2 is an alcoholic, currently sober, but he has been known to pawn MILs stuff (and DH's and BILs) to pay for booze in the past. I'm sure part of her concern is BIL #2 not finding a full time job and him drinking again (which he did last winter). 

[zibazinski]

My grandparents played favorites with one daughters children.  I'd call and try to talk about my kids and my life and they would start in on my cousins and what they were doing. Now granted, these wonders lived several states away so they really had no clue what they were up to. I finally had to say something to them. Of course they were shocked that I thought that until my other cousins said they did it to them, too.

[swamp]

My family is a bunch of rednecks, but I have never seen any drama.  I don't get it. 

[zibazinski]

Well, if MIL feels the alcoholic isn't trustworthy, why is he in her home?

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 13:34:53 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

I find myself wondering where the "Why have you stopped living life" came from.  If SIL lives so far away, how does she know MIL has "stopped living life".  I'm wondering if that statement might have come from some concern SIL picked up from an email, or snail mail, or other type of communication from MIL or one of the boys.  To me, not travelling across the country doesn't equate to "stopped living life".

Diabetes and hypertension, while problematic if not controlled properly, shouldn't preclude MIL from visiting, even if travel is required.  It sounds like MIL is "holing up" in her house and not doing much of anything.  If SIL has gotten wind of this, that last comment may well have come from concern.  Just something to think about ...

I'm not sure on the stop living life thing. Honestly that is what has the guys all upset.  SIL is very social and MIL is not. The only change recently that I know of is MIL not coming to church, but she didn't really come that much anyway. MIL was doing a quilting class, I don't know if she still is or not. 

We (DH, BIL #1 and myself) really pushed for MIL to move out here from Colorado when DS was born.  BIL #2 decided he was moving here and MIL likes to keep a close eye on him and with DS being born she decided it was time to move. She had some groups out there and had some friends and was pretty involved.  She just hasn't gotten into that here and I can't figure out why, but at the same time, it isn't my place and I don't ask her.

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 14:10:00 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Well, if MIL feels the alcoholic isn't trustworthy, why is he in her home?

Because he is sober right now and doesn't have a job.  He was living 45 miles east in an itty bitty town, but when he lost his job out there, he needed to move back to the City because there are more job opportunities here.  I don't know all the dynamics on the untrustworthy side of BIL #2. I just know some of the stories DH has shared.

[mmhmm]

That said, part of the reason I don't think MIL wants to leave is because BIL #2 is living at her house right now. BIL #2 is an alcoholic, currently sober, but he has been known to pawn MILs stuff (and DH's and BILs) to pay for booze in the past. I'm sure part of her concern is BIL #2 not finding a full time job and him drinking again (which he did last winter).

Whoa!  To every question there is, indeed, an answer!  While MIL's switch from "I can't come" to "Look what you're brothers are doing" wasn't the most graceful I've ever seen, I think it was leading into the reason she feels she can't leave home right now.  I don't say it's the whole reason.  I get the feeling she may be dealing with depression.  However, if BIL #2 has been known to sell her things before when drunk, I can certainly understand her not wanting to leave with him living in her house and out of a job!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

... I think I would be pissed if I got that email coming from my mom saying no I can't visit you, but look at what your brothers are all up to.

Yep, I would too.

If she is worried about BIL being alone in her home, can you offer to house him until she returns?

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 14:15:03 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

That said, part of the reason I don't think MIL wants to leave is because BIL #2 is living at her house right now. BIL #2 is an alcoholic, currently sober, but he has been known to pawn MILs stuff (and DH's and BILs) to pay for booze in the past. I'm sure part of her concern is BIL #2 not finding a full time job and him drinking again (which he did last winter).

Whoa!  To every question there is, indeed, an answer!  While MIL's switch from "I can't come" to "Look what you're brothers are doing" wasn't the most graceful I've ever seen, I think it was leading into the reason she feels she can't leave home right now.  I don't say it's the whole reason.  I get the feeling she may be dealing with depression.  However, if BIL #2 has been known to sell her things before when drunk, I can certainly understand her not wanting to leave with him living in her house and out of a job!

Yeah, when I read back through her email and where she put the "I know you understand". I think that is what MIL is pointing.  Maybe not.  I'm not in her head and I personally don't see her enough to know.

[mmhmm]

That's sure the way my thinking leans, muttley.  She's just trying to protect herself and care for her son at the same time.  It would be better if she could let her son fend for himself, but I doubt she's going to do that after all these years.  At this point, though, with the way things are I wouldn't travel, either.

[Phoenix84]

To me, 75 is not old enough to preclude one from flying.  Hell, people fly well into their 90's, in wheelchairs and everything. 

On the flipside, I can see the issue of being retired, and everyone expecting you to visit all the time.  That wouldn't be fun, would get annoying fast.  Or just because you're retired, the kids start treating you like a free babysitting service.  But it sounds like your MIL hasn't visited your SIL in some time. 

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 14:19:46 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

That's sure the way my thinking leans, muttley.  She's just trying to protect herself and care for her son at the same time.  It would be better if she could let her son fend for himself, but I doubt she's going to do that after all these years.  At this point, though, with the way things are I wouldn't travel, either.

Eh ... she's let him fall plenty of times and she looks out for him, but not in a codependent sort or way. She did let him move in to her house here. When they lived in Colorado and he was jobless, he slept on her living room floor for like a year.  If he's drinking, he is not allowed to live with her. He's had issues since he was a kid. Got into so much trouble ... DH said he never got into any trouble because he would just look to see BIL #2, less than 2 years older, and know exactly what not to do.  When their dad died, BIL #2 was missing and no one could find him for a couple days. Everyone else was gathered around, and they couldn't find BIL #2. Since I've been a part of the family, BIL's drinking issues have been a lot less in general. He had a good stretch there for a couple years where he switched careers, got himself in a good place, and was completely clean and sober. Then he got promoted at work and he just couldn't handle it. Quit/got fired, started drinking, sobered up, the guy he quit over was fired and BIL #2 was asked to come back to work where he was at, then this summer he got fired again.  After that he moved back in with MIL and he's been sober.  The man is 50 years old, so there is a lot of history of him being drunk/high etc. 

[Opti]

Well, seriously? She's well enough to babysit at 75 very young children but not well enough to watch a teenager play sports? I don't blame her daughter for being pissed.

But since she has to fly, watching this teenager play sports is likely going to be at most 5 to 10% of what she does until she flies back. Offering to pay for her flight is wonderful, but
I bet she's wouldn't agree to MIL flying out in the morning, watching the game, and then flying back that night. Its a far far bigger time commitment than babysitting children and being able to go home at night and just giving up a few hours of your day.


Back when families all lived in the same area and no one moved away, expectations
of family roles IMHO made a bit more sense. Why does SIL's desire to have MIL trump
MIL's desire not to come? If SIL didn't want MIL to come ever, we'd likely the support
that reasoning because she's the child's Mom. Yet MIL doesn't have rights to her time
but is supposed to fufill SIL's wishes because she bred?

This may be misunderstood. I think grandparents are important, aunts and uncles are important. And I'm coming from being screened out of my niece's and nephew's life because that's how my sib wants to play it. They have the money to visit me and plan a family vacation around it but they won't. They believe it is my obligation to spend my money and vacation time there and shutting me out probably has to do with bad behavior on my part in my economic distress of not sending cards when I should or not sending gifts and certainly not being forgiven for forgetting nephew's bday because it falls in a bad
health time for me usually and niece's does not. OT whining, I know, but this isn't just about a flight, just about a soccer game. This about the expectations that grandma does the traveling and the adapting and SIL doesn't need to leave her home or make an extraordinary effort to get them together anyway she can.
 

In conclusion, why should SIL's desires trump MILs?
Why should MIL be a grandma to her grand-daughter on SIL's terms yet should
have sucked it up if SIL didn't want her to be an active grandmother at all?
Its a very unequal relationship, with unequal footing. If MIL wanted to travel and
enjoyed staying with SIL there likely would be no email and no thread. In general I don't
support badgering someone to do something when you aren't willing to put in equal or better effort to accomplish the goal that you say you want.

[sarcasticgirl]

Oct 25, 2013 14:33:29 GMT -5 Opti said:

In conclusion, why should SIL's desires trump MILs?
Why should MIL be a grandma to her grand-daughter on SIL's terms yet should
have sucked it up if SIL didn't want her to be an active grandmother at all?
Its a very unequal relationship, with unequal footing. If MIL wanted to travel and
enjoyed staying with SIL there likely would be no email and no thread. In general I don't
support badgering someone to do something when you aren't willing to put in equal or better effort to accomplish the goal that you say you want.

But MIL does't say "NO, I won't Travel". she says "now is not the time" which leads one to believe that another time might be the time. If MIL has no intention of ever going she should say so. Begging off repeatedly with one excuse or another is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL and rather dishonest. 

Also- it is a lot cheaper for 1 person to fly to a family than for an entire family to fly to 1 person.  I live on the other side of the country from my family and while my parents come once a year (usually) and Sister1 has come a few times Sister2 has 2 kids and has never visited. My oldest niece has, but never my sister. I could be pissed that she never comes to me... but I realize it is significantly easier for me to go to her than her to 1. leave her entire family (she's a SAHM) or 2. Bring her family to me. 

[sarcasticgirl]

Double post

[mmhmm]

Oct 25, 2013 14:33:26 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Oct 25, 2013 14:19:46 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

That's sure the way my thinking leans, muttley.  She's just trying to protect herself and care for her son at the same time.  It would be better if she could let her son fend for himself, but I doubt she's going to do that after all these years.  At this point, though, with the way things are I wouldn't travel, either.

Eh ... she's let him fall plenty of times and she looks out for him, but not in a codependent sort or way. She did let him move in to her house here. When they lived in Colorado and he was jobless, he slept on her living room floor for like a year.  If he's drinking, he is not allowed to live with her. He's had issues since he was a kid. Got into so much trouble ... DH said he never got into any trouble because he would just look to see BIL #2, less than 2 years older, and know exactly what not to do.  When their dad died, BIL #2 was missing and no one could find him for a couple days. Everyone else was gathered around, and they couldn't find BIL #2. Since I've been a part of the family, BIL's drinking issues have been a lot less in general. He had a good stretch there for a couple years where he switched careers, got himself in a good place, and was completely clean and sober. Then he got promoted at work and he just couldn't handle it. Quit/got fired, started drinking, sobered up, the guy he quit over was fired and BIL #2 was asked to come back to work where he was at, then this summer he got fired again.  After that he moved back in with MIL and he's been sober.  The man is 50 years old, so there is a lot of history of him being drunk/high etc. 

It sounds like she's tried to be a good mom to him, muttley.  Sometimes, no matter what we do a given individual is determined to self-destruct.  All we can do is watch and weep.  I imagine that's what MIL has found herself doing too many times.  She probably doesn't want to go away, only to come back and find herself cleaned out and BIL#2 amongst the missing. With his history, and hers with him, I could see her thinking that way.

[kittensaver]

Oct 25, 2013 14:20:00 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

To me, 75 is not old enough to preclude one from flying.  Hell, people fly well into their 90's, in wheelchairs and everything. 

We just returned from an extended weekend to the midwest so my mother could visit her family. My mother is 90, and the relative she primarily went to see just turned 90 over the weekend (big family party). Both of them got on planes - walkers, wheelchairs, family escorts and all - so they could celebrate each other's birthdays (mom turned 90 earlier this year). Yep, it can be done .

[Deleted]

 In this age of telecommunications, people are emailing their family drama... instead of speaking with each other over the phone... and no-one seems to question that situation.
 ?
 Screw the emails... talk to each other. It isn't that hard, and it doesn't take THAT much of your precious time, does it?

  I used to travel by air quite a bit years ago... now that I am nearing 60, air-travel no longer appeals to me as it once did.
Consider that a 75-year-old that has created a "comfort zone" for themselves might be unmotivated to leave that comfort zone and subject themselves to all the aggravations and uncertainties of air travel... especially if it is in order to in order to watch a grandchild they hardly know run around some field and kick a ball with a bunch of kids she doesn't know, either.
They might suffer the trip to witness a graduation or a marriage or a funeral, but for a sporting event... they may not be motivated the same way.
 The fact is, non-"jocks" sometimes find these sporting events, seated on uncomfortable bleachers with screaming crowds... as something to be avoided or merely endured. Naturally, the "jocks" don't understand how other people just don't appreciate or enjoy these mob scenes the way that the jocks do. (Personally, I consider the prospect of attending (for example) a "professional wrestling" event to be absolutely repellent... the noise, the smells, the fans... ugh.) 
 And if the woman is scrimping to get by on meager resources and income, the idea of throwing away $1000+ on a trip to watch some kids kick a ball around might be totally unacceptable to her. She may need a new winter coat or other necessities, and be going without them because of financial restrictions... in which case blowing all that money on frivolously going where she does not want to be, to do something she finds tedious, unnecessary or unrewarding... or downright odious and disagreeable... is not only irrational, but unfathomable. Even on someone else's dime.
 Why can't grand-daughter be allowed to have her fun and games without dragging poor Grandma into it? Give Grandma a break, give her some consideration.
 If Granny doesn't want to go, respect her wishes. Don't try to bulldoze her or play guilt-trip games.
 

[muttleynfelix]

That is my thought too. I'll run it by DH and see what he thinks. But just the way she placed the second, I just can't come right now, makes me wonder.  It is still going to lead to hurt feelings for SIL. She probably feels like she's getting pushed aside for BIL #2 again.

[kittensaver]

Skype is your friend! My mother Skypes regularly with her great-grandchildren who live in another state.

Any chance the fam could set up your MIL so she could talk every once in a while with her out-of-state grandkids?

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 15:57:12 GMT -5 @patiencetried said:

 In this age of telecommunications, people are emailing their family drama... instead of speaking with each other over the phone... and no-one seems to question that situation.
 ?
 Screw the emails... talk to each other. It isn't that hard, and it doesn't take THAT much of your precious time, does it?

  I used to travel by air quite a bit years ago... now that I am nearing 60, air-travel no longer appeals to me as it once did.
Consider that a 75-year-old that has created a "comfort zone" for themselves might be unmotivated to leave that comfort zone and subject themselves to all the aggravations and uncertainties of air travel... especially if it is in order to in order to watch a grandchild they hardly know run around some field and kick a ball with a bunch of kids she doesn't know, either.
They might suffer the trip to witness a graduation or a marriage or a funeral, but for a sporting event... they may not be motivated the same way.
 The fact is, non-"jocks" sometimes find these sporting events, seated on uncomfortable bleachers with screaming crowds... as something to be avoided or merely endured. Naturally, the "jocks" don't understand how other people just don't appreciate or enjoy these mob scenes the way that the jocks do. (Personally, I consider the prospect of attending (for example) a "professional wrestling" event to be absolutely repellent... the noise, the smells, the fans... ugh.) 
 And if the woman is scrimping to get by on meager resources and income, the idea of throwing away $1000+ on a trip to watch some kids kick a ball around might be totally unacceptable to her. She may need a new winter coat or other necessities, and be going without them because of financial restrictions... in which case blowing all that money on frivolously going where she does not want to be, to do something she finds tedious, unnecessary or unrewarding... or downright odious and disagreeable... is not only irrational, but unfathomable. Even on someone else's dime.
 Why can't grand-daughter be allowed to have her fun and games without dragging poor Grandma into it? Give Grandma a break, give her some consideration.
 If Granny doesn't want to go, respect her wishes. Don't try to bulldoze her or play guilt-trip games.
 

SIL has talked to MIL numerous time on the phone. MIL was the one that started the emails.  Probably because SIL is busy and a 2 hour time difference.  Personally, I prefer email and text messaging I have to little kids. Too many times the phone rings and I'm elbow deep in poop or putting one of the kids asleep.

2.  My MIL while having meager resources (than some, BIL #1 swears her monthly income is more than adequate) is as wasteful as they come in spending. She has an $8k sewing machine. She wastes money on the craziest things. Last I knew, she had CC debt from stupid spending (according to BIL #1). The tickets I found were $300 round trip out of Branson. We could probably do a bit cheaper if we made the trip to KC, but probably not worth our time.  I didn't even look at Springfield because they are always more - like $400 or more round trip. Still for one person, not $1000.

Granddaughter wants her Grandma there. Why can't she ask that? She is 16 and a very good soccer player.  This isn't a 5 year old kicking the soccer ball around.  I understand some people not liking sports (for the record, you do not have to be a jock to like sports - my parents and grandparents are the farthest thing from jocks, but they love sports), but really it is an a couple hours of time.  It is a high school girls varsity soccer game, not WWE. 

[muttleynfelix]

Oct 25, 2013 16:00:41 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Skype is your friend! My mother Skypes regularly with her great-grandchildren who live in another state.

Any chance the fam could set up your MIL so she could talk every once in a while with her out-of-state grandkids?

We've skyped on holidays with SIL and when everyone but BIL #2's daughter was visiting, we skyped her in so that she could see everyone too..... and she did see EVERYONE. DS decided to go streaking through the living room naked yelling, I used the potty!