imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 14, 2013 13:53:32 GMT -5
You're supposed to have kids before you tweet those??!! Boy, do I have egg on my face. That's not egg..... That's why I don't have kids!
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Miss Tequila
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Moms
Oct 14, 2013 13:54:34 GMT -5
Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 14, 2013 13:54:34 GMT -5
That's not egg..... That's why I don't have kids! LMAO!!!
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Moms
Oct 14, 2013 13:55:25 GMT -5
Post by swamp on Oct 14, 2013 13:55:25 GMT -5
Why do you hate your baby and made sure her introduction to the world was through a drug induced haze? Haven't we been through this? I'm a self centered b!tch.... oooh, yeah, right. Carry on.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 14, 2013 13:56:03 GMT -5
Why do you hate your baby and made sure her introduction to the world was through a drug induced haze? because they offered her drugs. Duh. Who says no to insurance-covered drugs Wouldn't be very YM of her.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Oct 14, 2013 13:59:19 GMT -5
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 14, 2013 13:59:19 GMT -5
I did NOT poop.
Keep telling yourself that. There was so much going on I couldn't have told you if I did or not. For some reason DH felt the need to inform me. I told him what did he expect the kid is pushing on my intestines like their a tube of toothpaste, now shut up I'm busy! Nurses loved me.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Oct 14, 2013 14:00:34 GMT -5
Post by swamp on Oct 14, 2013 14:00:34 GMT -5
I know for a fact I did not poop. only because the doc was elbow deep inside me.
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Miss Tequila
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Oct 14, 2013 14:01:30 GMT -5
Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 14, 2013 14:01:30 GMT -5
the doc was elbow deep inside me. Damn....that would be some BAM shot
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Deleted
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Oct 14, 2013 14:06:07 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 14:06:07 GMT -5
Why do you hate your baby and made sure her introduction to the world was through a drug induced haze? because they offered her drugs. Duh. Who says no to insurance-covered drugs Wouldn't be very YM of her. That was over 8k worth of free drugs.....it would have been YM irresponsible of me not to take advantage of it. plus, I was bordering on hypertension. My doc was ticked they didn't give it to me earlier. He didn't want me in pain and shooting my BP up. I went in at 4;30am or so and had the epidural around 9:30am (prior to that I had some IV drugs that made me soooo high). DD came around 4pm.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 14, 2013 14:09:49 GMT -5
That was over 8k worth of free drugs.....it would have been YM irresponsible of me not to take advantage of it.
You better have taken that $8k you saved and invested it at 11%
According to my Phil Script, a lump sum investment of $8,000.00 bearing an annual return of 11% could grow to $183,138.37 in 30 years!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Oct 14, 2013 14:11:45 GMT -5
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 14, 2013 14:11:45 GMT -5
I know for a fact I did not poop. only because the doc was elbow deep inside me.
So? We all know that doesn't count because you didn't have a real birth experience.
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gs11rmb
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Oct 14, 2013 14:11:47 GMT -5
Post by gs11rmb on Oct 14, 2013 14:11:47 GMT -5
I didn't poop! Is it sad that I consider that a much greater achievement than delivering a baby without drugs ?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 14, 2013 14:14:50 GMT -5
I pooped and I used drugs. ::hands over mother card:: On the plus side that totally counts as far as marriage goes. DH and I have a real marriage compared to all you non-poopers. So I'm still better than you neener neener.
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muttleynfelix
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Oct 14, 2013 14:21:06 GMT -5
Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 14, 2013 14:21:06 GMT -5
I did NOT poop.
Keep telling yourself that. There was so much going on I couldn't have told you if I did or not. For some reason DH felt the need to inform me. I told him what did he expect the kid is pushing on my intestines like their a tube of toothpaste, now shut up I'm busy! Nurses loved me. With DS, I thought I was pooping. I was thinking I'm only 4 cm, if I poop, maybe I'll feel better. I don't care that I am sitting on the bed. My nurse and doula started yelling at me to stop pushing. So, no I did not poop even though I was trying to.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Oct 14, 2013 14:25:19 GMT -5
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Oct 14, 2013 14:25:19 GMT -5
We need some sort of contest where whoever can say the wittiest thing immediately after giving birth wins. I suppose the open period has to be a few years; so that those who aren't currently pregnant can still have a chance of enter.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Oct 14, 2013 14:25:45 GMT -5
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 14, 2013 14:25:45 GMT -5
If DH hadn't announced it I never would have known. How can you tell the difference? I already felt like I was taking the biggest poop of my life. Out of everything that goes down during labor, it was a bit of poop that DH chose to freak out over.
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Deleted
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Oct 14, 2013 14:36:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 14:36:27 GMT -5
We need some sort of contest where whoever can say the wittiest thing immediately after giving birth wins. I suppose the open period has to be a few years; so that those who aren't currently pregnant can still have a chance of enter. DH swore that, if I said that I couldn't believe he did this to me, he was going to respond with "we'll, I wanted to have sex the OTHER way that night..." i believe he would have too....
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Deleted
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Oct 14, 2013 15:14:30 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 15:14:30 GMT -5
You guys would like a friend of mine. She's doing the whole raising three geniuses and homeschooling thing, with the perfect mix of love and reluctance that plagues many a thinking parent out there...
Her facebook post today:
Greetings those who are planning soirees and steamy vacations, I just bribed a 2yo with a candy diet if she'd only drop a deuce in the can.
Last week her 8 year old came up with a smile, patted her hand and said the great thing about her was when she died, he'd inherit her book collection...
Seriously makes me lol. One of the reasons i still facebook...
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Deleted
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Oct 14, 2013 15:17:07 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 15:17:07 GMT -5
My wife pooped.
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imawino
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Oct 14, 2013 15:22:52 GMT -5
Post by imawino on Oct 14, 2013 15:22:52 GMT -5
And I'm sure she's thrilled you are letting us all know! She is so lucky to have you.
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Chocolate Lover
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Oct 14, 2013 15:24:34 GMT -5
Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 14, 2013 15:24:34 GMT -5
I'd be thrilled if everyone stopped letting us know. How is it Mom threads always end up in this conversation?
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imawino
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Oct 14, 2013 15:31:55 GMT -5
Post by imawino on Oct 14, 2013 15:31:55 GMT -5
yeah, there's a lot of poop talk. I can proudly say I have never pooped in front of witnesses (you know, post diaper stage), and my hoo-hah is still in a good state of repair.
Should I put that on my resume?
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Deleted
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Oct 14, 2013 15:35:34 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 15:35:34 GMT -5
yeah, there's a lot of poop talk. I can proudly say I have never pooped in front of witnesses (you know, post diaper stage), and my hoo-hah is still in a good state of repair. Should I put that on my resume? it certainly is a positive.
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whoisjohngalt
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Oct 14, 2013 15:38:23 GMT -5
Post by whoisjohngalt on Oct 14, 2013 15:38:23 GMT -5
Women can be so judgemental of other women. And I think, knowing that, we sit there and think everyone is judging us (cause a lot of us are judging them in our mind, even if we don't say anything). I felt pretty horrible for a while around the birth of DD. And you hear all these stories....isnt being pregnant the most awesome thing ever? A human life! Umm...yeah, it kinda sucked, honestly. And then you hear about people saying "I knew the instant I laid eyes on my child that she was the love of my life" or something like that. You want to know what I said when they showed her to me? "Why is she grey?" I didn't cry, I didn't feel bonded. And I didn't feel bonded for weeks. Then breast feeding....it's the most natural thing in the world, it's so great, it's the best thing for baby. Yeah, we'll, it doesn't work for all of us. So even though, medically, I wasn't able to do it, I still felt incredibly guilty. Those first few weeks were rough. I would look at her and think, "OMG, what have I done? Is there a return policy?" Even now, when she mostly sleeps through the night, I sometimes think, as she wakes up at 4am and starts yelling, not because she's unhappy but because she wants to hear herself, "for the love of god will you please SHUT the F UP!!!" When i dropped her off at daycare the first day, they said it was OK if I cried, or if I wanted to call in a few times. Yeah, I was fine. I left the parking lot, went home and took a 4 hour nap. Didn't feel the need to call. If something went wrong, they knew where I was. Does that make me a horrible mom? It's supposed to be the most amazing thing you have ever done, and a lot of the time it is awe inspiring, but I don't think most people feel that way 100% of the time. I'm tired. I work (and I couldn't WAIT to get back from maternity leave...yeah, another thing to feel guilty about), I make sure the bills are paid. I cook (sometimes) and clean (not enough) and plan meals and make sure we have enough of whatever it is we might need on hand. I can't do everything 100% , 100% of the time. And that makes me feel bad about myself. But then I have a glass of wine, take a sleeping pill, hand the monitor to DH and forget about it. yeah, I am pretty sure I have you beat in regards of the very first thought that I had when I saw my first child for the first time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2013 15:43:02 GMT -5
yeah, I am pretty sure I have you beat in regards of the very first thought that I had when I saw my first child for the first time. So not cool.....you must tell us now.....
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milee
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Oct 14, 2013 15:54:08 GMT -5
Post by milee on Oct 14, 2013 15:54:08 GMT -5
We need some sort of contest where whoever can say the wittiest thing immediately after giving birth wins. I suppose the open period has to be a few years; so that those who aren't currently pregnant can still have a chance of enter. We'd lose that one. My first son was a little guy - only 6 1/2 pounds. After the second was born and the nurse was wiping him up a little, the Dr. asked "how much do you think he weighs?" I made some lame guess like eight and noticed DH was looking at the baby like this => DH whispered, "No. More." and then softer to me, "Sweetie, he has man boobs!" The second guy was the same length as the first, only 3 pounds heavier. Guess when they're 9 1/2 pounds, they have man boobs.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Oct 14, 2013 15:57:11 GMT -5
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Oct 14, 2013 15:57:11 GMT -5
...:::"DH whispered, "No. More." and then softer to me, "Sweetie, he has man boobs!"":::...
You didn't name him "Bob" did you?
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whoisjohngalt
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Oct 14, 2013 16:38:16 GMT -5
Post by whoisjohngalt on Oct 14, 2013 16:38:16 GMT -5
yeah, I am pretty sure I have you beat in regards of the very first thought that I had when I saw my first child for the first time. So not cool.....you must tell us now..... I thought "OMG, he is such an UGLY baby, that poor little boy"
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Pants
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Oct 14, 2013 16:47:25 GMT -5
Post by Pants on Oct 14, 2013 16:47:25 GMT -5
I just thought she looked like she'd been through hell - all puffy and beat up. I mean, I wouldn't like being squished for 14 hours either...
And I'm with drama. I was so twitchy and full of adrenaline, while simultaneously exhausted. I felt very unpredictable.
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973beachbum
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Oct 14, 2013 16:57:42 GMT -5
Post by 973beachbum on Oct 14, 2013 16:57:42 GMT -5
So not cool.....you must tell us now..... I thought "OMG, he is such an UGLY baby, that poor little boy" when they put DS on my belly my first words to him were "geeze you stink". The nurses didn't find it funny.
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quince
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Oct 14, 2013 21:19:32 GMT -5
Post by quince on Oct 14, 2013 21:19:32 GMT -5
I think because of YM and the WIR thread, I talked about pooping a lot while I was in labor. I asked if it was OK if I pooped on the bed, since I hadn't for a couple of days. I don't know if I actually did because I stopped dilating and had to get cut open. It certainly felt like I was pooping during each contraction near the end.
My filter goes away when I'm in pain. I'm very good humored, though. It's odd.
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