GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 24, 2013 22:34:51 GMT -5
And just to be clear, I don't believe for a second that you all behave the same at home and outside of it. I'd get arrested for some of my home behaviours. Well, living in New England and spelling "behaviors" with a Canadian "u" will certainly earn you a visit from INS.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Sept 25, 2013 7:51:34 GMT -5
No you don't take the kids AND the groceries out to the car. You leave the buggy where it is and walk outside. Then go home and when your brat, I mean child, doesn't have cereal for breakfast the next day or you leave the popsicles at the store, they get the idea.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 25, 2013 7:54:24 GMT -5
I'm guessing a 6mo infant might have some trouble making the connection. I don't like listening to kids cry any more than the next person, but short of drugging them with Benadryl at every outing, sometimes it can't be helped. I doubt it's caused permanent damage to any of the people complaining in this thread.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 7:58:53 GMT -5
You mean they were damaged before they heard the crying kids, right!?!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 25, 2013 7:59:04 GMT -5
I'm guessing a 6mo infant might have some trouble making the connection. I don't like listening to kids cry any more than the next person, but short of drugging them with Benadryl at every outing, sometimes it can't be helped. I doubt it's caused permanent damage to any of the people complaining in this thread. Wait...I'm not supposed to drug them with Benadryl at every outing??
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 25, 2013 8:03:15 GMT -5
No you don't take the kids AND the groceries out to the car. You leave the buggy where it is and walk outside. Then go home and when your brat, I mean child, doesn't have cereal for breakfast the next day or you leave the popsicles at the store, they get the idea. This must be a joke..........
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 25, 2013 8:04:36 GMT -5
I'm guessing a 6mo infant might have some trouble making the connection. I don't like listening to kids cry any more than the next person, but short of drugging them with Benadryl at every outing, sometimes it can't be helped. I doubt it's caused permanent damage to any of the people complaining in this thread. Wait...I'm not supposed to drug them with Benadryl at every outing?? You could....only if it works....... "some" children, as it turns out, have been born with Benadryl resistance, but as a cancellation prize have a great pair of lungs on them.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Sept 25, 2013 8:06:30 GMT -5
Why would it be a joke?
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Sept 25, 2013 8:09:45 GMT -5
I'm guessing a 6mo infant might have some trouble making the connection. I don't like listening to kids cry any more than the next person, but short of drugging them with Benadryl at every outing, sometimes it can't be helped. I doubt it's caused permanent damage to any of the people complaining in this thread. Wait...I'm not supposed to drug them with Benadryl at every outing?? Sidenote- did you know that benedryl doesn't make a dog tired or even mellowed out at all??? I can't drug my dog like I would drug a child. Hmph! Sent from my Nexus 4 using proboards
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 25, 2013 8:25:12 GMT -5
I would consider it a joke because a toddler does not have the mental capability to make the connection between throwing a tantrum at the store and not having cereal 12-24 hours later.
Also, based on the number of times my mom has commented on "how easy" I was as a teen, I'm pretty sure every parent develops selective memory loss at some point once their kids are grown. I put her through hell for several years and she literally has NO memory of it. DH's mom is the same way.
So I'd be careful when criticizing others' parenting skills just because 30+ years ago, "my kids would've never acted like that." I'm betting they did. And if they didn't, IMO that's more a reflection of the kid's personality than anyone's stellar parenting.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 25, 2013 8:25:23 GMT -5
Because some people can't believe that someone would actually expect them to remove a screaming child from a public place. After all, THEIR schedule is so much more important than anything else.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 25, 2013 8:26:08 GMT -5
Really? My vet suggested it before I traveled with the cats. I didn't do it though.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 25, 2013 8:27:59 GMT -5
Bc the suggestion that every time a kid throws a tantrum, I should just go home....is...well....I want to say idiotic. But then I'll probably get banned, so, I won't say that.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 25, 2013 8:28:56 GMT -5
Really? My vet suggested it LA...is that you
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 25, 2013 8:29:37 GMT -5
Bc the suggestion that every time a kid throws a tantrum, I should just go home....is...well....I want to say idiotic. But then I'll probably get banned, so, I won't say that. You can say it is idiotic...you can't say the poster is idiotic...apparently that is a huge difference and one that has resulted in my banning
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 25, 2013 8:30:23 GMT -5
Drugging cats with Benadryl not about the kids. Although I did use it on both kids when we had to travel just in case.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 25, 2013 8:33:41 GMT -5
And just so there is no confusion.
I would remove my screaming kid from a restaurant. I would remove my screaming kid if I am leisurely browsing in a book store or clothing store I would remove my screaming kid from a museum I would remove my screaming kid from a library I would even remove my screaming kid from a park and/or playground.
All those things are optional
Grocery shopping? Not so much. So, while I do try to prevent a tantrum, well, I was told I am not G-d, so can't do everything and sometimes those things happen. Yeah, such as life.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 25, 2013 8:34:08 GMT -5
No, but a toddler does have the mental capacity to understand that if they pitch a fit they will be removed from the situation and be made to do something they like even less (like sit in a car with no distractions until they calm down).
I did not develop selective memory loss (it's less than 10 years). I hated inconsiderate parents/uncontrolled children before I had a child and I vowed to never become one of "those" oblivious types. If DD pitched a fit ANYWHERE she was removed from the situation and taken someplace very boring until she calmed down. Surprisingly this only had to happen twice when she was a toddler. Shocking, I know.
Whe DD was an infant/not old enough to understand we either got a babysitter when going out to eat, or we simply didn't go out. Grocery shopping - many times I took her to the car to calm down/feed her as an infant.
It may be different or the wheels may fall of the bus when you have more than one, but based on my observations of DD's friends who have younger siblings it does not have to be the case.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 25, 2013 8:34:35 GMT -5
I guess I was really lucky with mine. I had to leave a restaurant one time with DS. The server knew it was coming, bless him and got my meal to go while I went outside with DS and tried to calm him. Still have no clue what set him off as he was such an easy baby except for teething. DD did it once but it was at a children's hands on museum so it was so chaotic and loud that her tantrum basically went unnoticed. Much to her annoyance and my relief. But I was careful to shop only in the am and I had a limited time they could be okay with a public outing. Extended jaunts into Nordstroms was never on my list with little kids!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 25, 2013 8:42:07 GMT -5
No, but a toddler does have the mental capacity to understand that if they pitch a fit they will be removed from the situation and be made to do something they like even less (like sit in a car with no distractions until they calm down). I did not develop selective memory loss (it's less than 10 years). I hated inconsiderate parents/uncontrolled children before I had a child and I vowed to never become one of "those" oblivious types. If DD pitched a fit ANYWHERE she was removed from the situation and taken someplace very boring until she calmed down. Surprisingly this only had to happen twice when she was a toddler. Shocking, I know. Whe DD was an infant/not old enough to understand we either got a babysitter when going out to eat, or we simply didn't go out. Grocery shopping - many times I took her to the car to calm down/feed her as an infant. It may be different or the wheels may fall of the bus when you have more than one, but based on my observations of DD's friends who have younger siblings it does not have to be the case. Oh, I don't know why I don't get all my parenting advice from YM. My life would be better, my kids would be perfect.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 25, 2013 8:44:18 GMT -5
Not every kid is the same.
My mom had a very easy time with my brother and me as babies. I don't remember my brother EVER crying, unless he fell and hit his head... he would grunt when he wanted something, but that was it. My mom said she could (and did) take me anywhere without fussing.
My sister - same parents, same upbringing, born a year after my brother - COMPLETELY different personality. She cried constantly unless she was being held. My mom was a single parent (I know, go ahead and burn her at the stake) and didn't have the option to hire a babysitter every time she needed to run to the store or pick one of us up from school/daycare/practice, so people were treated to my sister's wailing a time or two. I'm pretty sure they all survived.
For that reason alone, I'd be reluctant to judge others based on my own kid's behavior. Some of us get very lucky, and others are very unlucky. And like Mutt said, you never know what's going on behind the scenes. There but for the grace of God...
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Sept 25, 2013 8:44:29 GMT -5
Drugging cats with Benadryl not about the kids. Although I did use it on both kids when we had to travel just in case. Our dog has severe allergies and gets 7 Benadryl a day. 3 in the am and 4 in the pm. She passes out and snores for hours- of course she is 11 and typically spends the bulk of her day snoring. We had a red hour flight out of Alaska when we moved to Minnesota. It seemed that the majority of flights out of Alaska were redeyes. Our pediatrician told us to give DS Benadryl 30 minutes before the flight and he would sleep through the entire flight. Yeah right My kid's messed up and things are cause drowsiness in normal people make him super hyper. So we gave him a dose at 11:30 and boarded the plane for the midnight flight. Locked on that plane for 5 1/2 hours with a wide awake and hyper 18 month old sucked. He didn't scream or cry but he babbled through the entire flight and kept wanting to get up and walk around. I felt so bad. There were no other small children on the flight. DH's seat was in the row behind DS and I. The guy sitting next to DH was all "That damn kid has no business being on this flight. I hate kids" DH was all "um yeah, darn kid" about 30 minutes later I turned around and said "honey can you take him while I use the bathroom". The guy just glared at DH- I don't know if he was mad that DH didn't fess up earlier to being the darn kid's dad or because he had to sit near the kid for the couple minutes I was in the bathroom.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 25, 2013 8:47:41 GMT -5
Actually, the ONLY place I had to leave once was a book store. My DH took kids outside after about 15 minutes of browsing.
My kids know very well and have known since before they could walk that throwing a tantrum or even whining will get them nothing but trouble.
However! to say that if the kid throws a tantrum I should drop everything is crazy. Sometimes that's just not an option.
We have adults that have no clue how to control their emotions, why would we expect that from a little child??
Also, I find it hilarious that on one hand you all preach that children should know that the world does not revolve around them and YET evidently all they have to do is scream and mommy drops everything and leaves.
Did it ever occur to anyone that NOT being in a grocery store is NOT a punishment for a kid? That they would actually PREFER to go home or sit in a car??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 8:50:49 GMT -5
LOL on your DH!!! DD gets hyper on Benadryl too.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 25, 2013 9:11:09 GMT -5
C gets hyper on red children's Nyquill but not on blue/purple Benadryl.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 9:13:06 GMT -5
C gets hyper on red children's Nyquill but not on blue/purple Benadryl. I love the purple drank. I make some fire ass lean with that.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 25, 2013 9:15:33 GMT -5
Well, with my toddler (now preschooler), most of the time he is pitching a fit it is because he WANTS to leave! Yeah, leaving is giving in. Besides, since when do cars have no distractions? I can count out 20 that DS named to me on the way to preschool this morning.
You have one child! It is so much easier to have a hill to die on when it is one on one or holy cow 2 parents and one kid. I'm pretty sure by not look poorly it is meant as long as they are doing exactly what I would do. It is so easy to sit there and judge when you aren't in the situation.
It isn't a matter of schedule it is a matter of logistics.
I don't even know why I am so passionate about it, since my kids are pretty well behaved. But then I go back to those really dark couple of months after DD was born and DH had back surgery and DS was having a ROUGH time. 3 years old with a new sister and a daddy who was unable to do a lot. His actions weren't always appropriate and I didn't always have the time, the patience or the energy to be too strict with him. I was also trying to get things done around snow storms since we live in the country. If errands needed to be run on Wednesday because there was a snow storm on Thursday and we were running low on bread and diapers, then it had to be done then. I did my best to make sure the kids were rested and fed before running those errands, but you on the outside wouldn't see that. You would just see my kids not behaving and me not acting like you think I should be acting. If you saw me in the grocery store with DD in the sling and DS running away from me and me just bawling, you didn't know I was crying not just because of my DS's behavior, but also because DH had fallen the day before on the ice and snow just 3 weeks after back surgery. You (general) say "well I don't mean that situation", but you don't know what the situation is. So maybe a little fucking compassion would go a long way.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Sept 25, 2013 9:19:16 GMT -5
It taught me that I wasn't the center of the world. It taught me manners and behavior expectations. It taught me to talk reasonably intelligently with adults. Parents were practice. Well, I also learned all those things, and I don't remember it being at a dinner table While I appreciate the idea behind family dinners and we do have them, right now, I gotta be honest, I don't enjoy them that much. However, there are so many other times when my kids and I interact and talk and have opportunities to practice all those things you mentioned. While we have family dinners most nights, I agree that I don't think they are as important as people say. I'm with my kids a lot, so we get quiet time to talk/interact all the time. DH doesn't get as much time obviously, but I think our time when we play dice games after dinner is more impacting than dinner time. I also don't enjoy dinner time as much - there's the rush to cook the meal, the supervising of the kids to set/clear the table, the getting up throughout the meal because I forgot something or someone needs more water, and then there is the cleanup afterwards. It isn't very relaxing to me compared to other times.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 10:00:48 GMT -5
Whoa! I hope I didn't come of as not being compassionate. My children were small once, I know children don't always behave as they should. Not even when they're not so small. Again, fussy, cranky babies don't bother me. I do hate to hear babies cry, but it's because they sound so pitiful to me and I want to do something to fix whatever's bothering them even if I've never seen the baby before in my life, not because it irritates me. I do think babies that are crying loudly and can't be consoled should be removed from church services, weddings, and settings like that. In a store, I'm likely to think "That is one unhappy baby", be glad that those days are over for me and go on about my business.
Toddlers and very young children get a pass because they're still learning how to behave imo. I've been stuck on an airplane with a fussy little girl behind me. She kicked my seat. Her Mom or Dad told her to stop. She stopped for about 2 minutes and started again. She whined and cried, they tried to distract and entertain her. Instead of being upset, I wanted to offer to try to entertain her for a few minutes for them, but I didn't want to seem like a weirdo so I didn't. I didn't expect them to chuck her out the window.
When I was in a restaurant and a little boy about 3 years old was running around to everyone's table (including mine) messing with stuff and getting in the waitresses/waiters' way for about 30 minutes before somebody came from across the room and got him, I thought that was bad. When I was in a store and a boy and girl about 7-9yo were zooming through the store on Heelies, running into people, I thought that was bad. I went shopping with a friend and her boys were running in and out of the clothes racks and getting in people's way. When we got ready to leave, we couldn't even find her middle son. We finally went to the parking lot and a man drove up and asked if he belonged to us and yelled at my friend because her son had run out in front of his car and he'd almost hit him. I thought all of that was bad.
A parent happily chatting away in lala land and not noticing their child is running amok and creating mayhem is different from a parent just trying to get groceries or something with a couple of unhappy chidren in tow.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Sept 25, 2013 10:05:35 GMT -5
Whoa! I hope I didn't come of as not being compassionate. My children were small once, I know children don't always behave as they should. Not even when they're not so small. Again, fussy, cranky babies don't bother me. I do hate to hear babies cry, but it's because they sound so pitiful to me and I want to do something to fix whatever's bothering them even if I've never seen the baby before in my life, not because it irritates me. I do think babies that are crying loudly and can't be consoled should be removed from church services, weddings, and settings like that. In a store, I'm likely to think "That is one unhappy baby", be glad that those days are over for me and go on about my business. Toddlers and very young children get a pass because they're still learning how to behave imo. I've been stuck on an airplane with a fussy little girl behind me. She kicked my seat. Her Mom or Dad told her to stop. She stopped for about 2 minutes and started again. She whined and cried, they tried to distract and entertain her. Instead of being upset, I wanted to offer to try to entertain her for a few minutes for them, but I didn't want to seem like a weirdo so I didn't. I didn't expect them to chuck her out the window. When I was in a restaurant and a little boy about 3 years old was running around to everyone's table (including mine) messing with stuff and getting in the waitresses/waiters' way for about 30 minutes before somebody came from across the room and got him, I thought that was bad. When I was in a store and a boy and girl about 7-9yo were zooming through the store on Heelies, running into people, I thought that was bad. I went shopping with a friend and her boys were running in and out of the clothes racks and getting in people's way. When we got ready to leave, we couldn't even find her middle son. We finally went to the parking lot and a man drove up and asked if he belonged to us and yelled at my friend because her son had run out in front of his car and he'd almost hit him. I thought all of that was bad. A parent happily chatting away in lala land and not noticing their child is running amok and creating mayhem is different from a parent just trying to get groceries or something with a couple of unhappy chidren in tow. exactly this. I'm sorry that muttley thinks I'm not compassionate b/c I don't have kids and can't possibly understand what a parent is going through. I couldn't possibly be someone who tries to help that parent calm their upset child. I have entertained a screaming child on an airplane, and in one case actually let the kid curl up with a cozy hoodie I had with me, when he finally tired himself out enough to sleep. but no, I'm a judgmental bitch that has no compassion. guess you can't please everyone
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