NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 14, 2013 8:50:31 GMT -5
Just think that after the birthday celebration is over now all you will have to deal with is: Thanksgiving celebration Christmas celebration Valentines celebration St. Patricks? End of school celebration Probably missed some but long time since I have had a kiddo in school
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 8:50:36 GMT -5
As a teacher, I would have been pleasantly surprised by any ONE of those options.
All of them, it would have been my worst day ever. Honestly. I couldn't stand that much attention.
It is also not consistent with the relationship I would want with my students.
As the teacher, I would have worried about the room mom, if she was a tad crazy, and maybe if I needed a restraining order... It just seems a bit weird...
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2013 8:52:17 GMT -5
Just think that after the birthday celebration is over now all you will have to deal with is: Thanksgiving celebration Christmas celebration Valentines celebration St. Patricks? End of school celebration Probably missed some but long time since I have had a kiddo in school You forgot Arbor Day, you slacker. What, don't you love the teacher?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 14, 2013 8:56:59 GMT -5
I had another thought - yeah I smell the sawdust burning but had to ask. Are the parents expected to attend the food fest?
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2013 9:01:45 GMT -5
I had another thought - yeah I smell the sawdust burning but had to ask. Are the parents expected to attend the food fest? Oh, God. I hadn't thought of that. But probably yes. I've been deleting most of the emails the room mom sent us all this last week. By the time I received the 5th email from her in the space of three days, I had all her emails routed to my "Crazy - Ignore" folder.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Sept 14, 2013 9:19:29 GMT -5
...:::"This is why I won't live in a HOA. Too many former big shots who now have nothing but time on their hands and forget that we are also homeowners and not employees.":::...
Sure, until your neighbor decides that his house would look great painted crimson, or that not maintaining a lawn makes a statement of rebellion and individuality.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 14, 2013 10:22:48 GMT -5
We actually are in a HOA right now but one that uses its clout to get good deals on lawn care and all. The hand is held lightly. Last year we had the bitch from hell running the HOA and most residents were about to move. I think our treasurer blackmailed her into resigning! Yea!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 10:54:34 GMT -5
Did it occur to this person that the teacher might want some "down time" at lunch or afternoon? And probably doesn't want to have breakfast with the kids either. I think it is a total enfringement on her time. I think over the top is an understatement. And to say who hadn't donated to gift card - well I won't even go there with what I think about this - you know PG 13 board and all Lol, NoNamePerson. Teachers don't get "down time." All these activities will be held when the teacher would normally be teaching. Milee, I do think this is way over the top. It actually sounds like a very disruptive day. Do you feel comfortable talking with the principal about it? In Alabama, I don't think this is even legal. We have a tough ethics law that limits gifts to teachers to minimal value. We also have State Dept. of Ed. rules intended to fight childhood obesity. Bringing cupcakes to the class for the child's birthday isn't even allowed. If the teacher wants to reward the students with pizza, it has to be purchased through the school's lunchroom to make certain it meets the standards. Obviously, people do break these rules. But rarely so blatantly.
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plugginaway22
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Post by plugginaway22 on Sept 14, 2013 11:42:38 GMT -5
So are all the children from families that have no financial issues and are able to do this? My 3 children were in a public school district with a broad range of family incomes. This was never allowed due to some children feeling left out. Gifts in general were not allowed for that very reason.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Sept 14, 2013 13:10:07 GMT -5
That room mom could be my SIL! Definitely over the top.
This would not fly in our school. Rules against anything more than token gifts to the teachers (< $5 value), rules against foods (no tree nuts, no peanuts, nothing homemade - must be in original store wrappers), interrupting classroom teaching time, limits to totals of visitors per classroom, etc.
I'm trying to figure out how room mom got EVERYONE's emails. School just started a few weeks ago, and we haven't even had school/classroom open houses yet. That is when most teachers request parent emails, though not everyone complies and provides it.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 14, 2013 13:11:20 GMT -5
Did it occur to this person that the teacher might want some "down time" at lunch or afternoon? And probably doesn't want to have breakfast with the kids either. I think it is a total enfringement on her time. I think over the top is an understatement. And to say who hadn't donated to gift card - well I won't even go there with what I think about this - you know PG 13 board and all Lol, NoNamePerson. Teachers don't get "down time." All these activities will be held when the teacher would normally be teaching. Milee, I do think this is way over the top. It actually sounds like a very disruptive day. Do you feel comfortable talking with the principal about it? In Alabama, I don't think this is even legal. We have a tough ethics law that limits gifts to teachers to minimal value. We also have State Dept. of Ed. rules intended to fight childhood obesity. Bringing cupcakes to the class for the child's birthday isn't even allowed. If the teacher wants to reward the students with pizza, it has to be purchased through the school's lunchroom to make certain it meets the standards. Obviously, people do break these rules. But rarely so blatantly. Gosh, I figured you at least got a lunch break!!! I agree that this is disruptive and heck by the time they finish breakfast be time for lunch then time for the afternoon meal. Poor teacher is all I can think of!!
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2013 13:52:56 GMT -5
If I had a relationship with the principal or interacted with him on an informal basis, I might find a way to casually mention the situation. As it is, I'd have to make a special appointment to see him and don't think this is an issue for which I'd like to take that step.
Not only that, but the school has a new principal this year and the level of Suck Up has reached Defcon 1. Not sure I could (or would want to) fight my way through the crowds to try to get a word in at this point. And I'm pretty sure when I do talk to him, I don't want the first conversation to be a complaint session unless the complaint is very, very serious. Timing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 14:46:11 GMT -5
Its a little over the top, just the breakfast would have been enough. However, maybe this parent was deeply affected by the Sandy Hook incident and wants to make sure this teacher knows JUST HOW MUCH SHE IS VALUED as a guardian of her/these children. On the flip side, I guess you are lucky to have such active and invested volunteers. I am sure that her other contributions make a very positive impact on the classroom.
Perspective offered by one of the Sandy Hook parents that lost her child (I assume it is real since Snopes does not debunk it):
Mother of Sandy Hook Victim Writes Powerful Letter to Teachers, this is worth reading and sharing:
"As another school year begins and old routines settle back into place, I wanted to share my story in honor of the teachers everywhere who care for our children.
I lost my 6-year-old daughter Ana Grace on Dec. 14, 2012, in the rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School. My son, who was in the building and heard the shooting, survived.
While waiting in the firehouse that day to hear the official news that our daughter was dead, my husband and I made promises to ourselves, to each other, and to our son. We promised to face the future with courage, faith, and love.
As teachers and school employees begin this new year, my wish for you is that same courage, faith, and love.
It takes guts to be a teacher. Six brave women gave their lives trying to protect their students at Sandy Hook. Other teachers were forced to run from the building, stepping over the bodies of their friends and colleagues, and they came right back to work.
When I asked my son’s teacher why she returned, she responded, “Because they are my kids. And my students need me now more than ever.” She sent daily updates on my son’s progress, from his behavior to what he’d eaten for lunch. And four months later, when my son finally smiled one day after school, I asked him about it. His response? “Mom. My teacher is so funny. I had an epic day.” While I pray you will never find yourself in the position of the teachers at Sandy Hook, your courage will support students like my son, who have lived through traumas no child should have to.
Your courage will support students who are left out and overlooked, like the isolated young man who killed my daughter. At some point he was a young, impressionable student, often sitting all alone at school. You will have kids facing long odds for whom your smile, your encouraging word, and your willingness to go the extra mile will provide the comfort and security they need to try again tomorrow.
When you Google “hero,” there should be a picture of a principal, a school lunch worker, a custodian, a reading specialist, a teacher, or a bus monitor. Real heroes don’t wear capes. They work in America’s schools.
Being courageous requires faith. It took faith to go back to work at Sandy Hook after the shooting. Nobody had the answers or knew what would come tomorrow, but they just kept going. Every opportunity you have to create welcoming environments in our schools where parents and students feel connected counts.
Have faith that your hard work is having a profound impact on your students. Of the 15,000 personal letters I received after the shooting, only one stays at my bedside. It’s from my high school English teacher, Robert Buckley.
But you can’t be courageous or step out on faith without a deep love for what you do.
Parents are sending their precious children to you this fall. Some will come fully prepared, and others not. They will come fed and with empty bellies. They will come from intact homes and fractured ones. Love them all.
When my son returned to school in January, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Imagine the difficulty in sending your surviving child into a classroom when you lost your baby in a school shooting. We sent him because we didn’t want him to be afraid.
We sent him because we wanted him to understand that while our lives would never be the same, our lives still needed to move forward.
According to the 2011-12 National Survey of Children’s Health, nearly half of America’s children will have suffered at least one childhood trauma before the age of 18. They need your love.
A few weeks before the shooting, Ana Grace and I shared a special morning. Lunches were packed and clothes were picked out the night before, so we had extra time to snuggle. And while I lay in bed with my beautiful caramel princess, she sensed that I was distracted and asked, “What’s the matter, Mom?” I remember saying to her, “Nothing, baby. It’s just work.” She looked at me for a very long time with a thoughtful stare, then she told me, “Don’t let them suck your fun circuits dry, Mom.”
As you begin this school year, remember Ana Grace. Walk with courage, with faith, and with love. And don’t let them suck your fun circuits dry."
~ Written by, Nebla Marquez-Greenhad Daughter, 6-year-old Ana Grace was killed in the massacre
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 16:32:30 GMT -5
I do get a lunch break now that I teach twelfth graders, but I didn't back when I taught sixth graders. Those teachers were required to eat lunch with the kids. And I totally understand, Milee, not wanting your first meeting with the principal to be a complaint. I also go along with a lot of things I don't really want to do just because it's not the particular hill I want to die on.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Sept 14, 2013 17:05:26 GMT -5
Well, I expect that you'll have to go along to get along. Also, this may be the standard treatment for teaching staff. I await a report on the Christmas preperations for the teacher's gift(s) with bated breath.
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2013 17:08:44 GMT -5
Well, I expect that you'll have to go along to get along. Also, this may be the standard treatment for teaching staff. Well, that was part of why I posted it. Sometimes I get surprised by something only to discover that things have changed and that something is the new norm. Was wondering if that was the case here.
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Poptart
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Post by Poptart on Sept 14, 2013 17:27:43 GMT -5
I have the perfect solution for you. You are now a Jehovahs witness and your religion does not allow you to do birthdays or holidays. You're welcome.
On a serious note, you have to talk to this mother and tell her that the kids are in school to LEARN, it is only September and you need to put this woman on a leash before Thanksgiving and Christmas get here, I can't even imagine how out of hand things could get.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Sept 14, 2013 17:35:38 GMT -5
As her demands become more incessant and expensive, I'm predicting parent rebellion. In the meantime, I'm purchasing copies of various "Bluford High" series books about urban school life because the series has caught fire in her room, and some of the boys that never ever voluntarily asking to borrow her room books to take home and read are doing just that. This is over and above the $ 1200 ( so far ) this year she's spent on supplies and books for her classroom this year. I wish that some of the money being wasted for the poor teacher's breakfast, lunch, dinner, and coach-and-four could be used o supplement the classroom and library for my DD's school. Oh well. I'm working a few extra hours in the next few weeks ( unless we get put back on mandatory overtime ) to pay for Bluford High books, my Candy Crush Saga habit ( only 60 more levels to go   , and our little vacation this last week ! In her school, there are no such thing as room mothers. That's good, because I am positive DD would have killed this one.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Sept 14, 2013 18:42:23 GMT -5
Sometimes these people are also fun to egg on. Only a brunch and a lunch? Will there be personalized napkins? Floral arrangements? You want her to feel appreciated, right?
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Sept 14, 2013 19:03:48 GMT -5
I'm surprised she knows the teacher's birthday. I don't think this helps the OP, but I know I'd feel very uncomfortable if I received such lavish gifts from my students. It would make it harder to discipline/grade them honestly.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Sept 14, 2013 19:06:31 GMT -5
Definitely overkill for the teacher's birthday - just hope she is not someone like me who really does not like my birthday - my grandmother died on my 27th birthday and then my mother had second leg amputated on on my 29th shortly before she died plus divorce became final. It is just a difficult day for me and I now celebrate my birthday a few days before or after with my friends.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 14, 2013 19:12:40 GMT -5
Sometimes these people are also fun to egg on. Only a brunch and a lunch? Will there be personalized napkins? Floral arrangements? You want her to feel appreciated, right? Oh my, we do think alike on stuff like this. I could rag her on forever with suggestions
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Sept 14, 2013 19:27:30 GMT -5
'Art project would have been enough.' Something the teacher can appreciate from each child, and then discreetly throw away when the time is right.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 19:30:44 GMT -5
I'm surprised she knows the teacher's birthday.
I was wondering about this too ... Milee do you know if these moms are personal friends of hers? I'm guessing they probably are, if they know her birthday. Does this teacher have kids of her own? If so, are they friends with these moms' kids?
This is DEFINITELY overkill. Obviously I'm not in the US and I'm sure things are somewhat different there, but still, this is beyond ridiculous!
I totally agree with you on doing the monetary "gift" and doing the hand / poem thing, because you don't want your son to take the potential fallout. In my day we contributed less than $20, more like $10, but that's a minor issue.
But the rest is obviously totally "mom driven" and somebody needs to put a stop to it, because it sounds like it's completely out of hand, and it's only September. Are there two "dueling moms" trying to outdo each other?! I hope the teacher is married, because at this rate, her students will be paying for her wedding LOL!
FWIW (and I'm sure that's not much, since we're probably on the other end of the spectrum here), sometimes the kids would come home and announce that it was their teacher's birthday. How did they know? Because the TEACHER (and NOT the parents!) brought in a cake or treat to share with her students. We ARE allowed home-baked goods here (but nothing with nuts or seeds).
At the end of the year there is a "thank you" gift. You give your monetary donation to the class reps (or not). Some moms take the high road and list all the kids in the class, even if their parents didn't contribute. Others don't. The gifts are usually one (exchangeable) personal item, and the rest in gift cards to the local mall. The "leftover" money is used to buy a bouquet of flowers. The kids and parents are all invited to give the joint gift at the end of the last day of school. I always contributed, and since I don't work on Fridays, I always went (sometimes for the teacher, sometimes for my kid lol). The moms who graciously included every kid's name on the card included everybody. The viper moms who didn't usually managed to elbow the other kids out of the way.
But this sounds like a bad episode of "Parents Gone Wild"!!!
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Sept 14, 2013 19:30:52 GMT -5
Evil thought - sometimes people take their birthday off - wouldn't that be fitting here?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 14, 2013 19:35:59 GMT -5
Evil thought - sometimes people take their birthday off - wouldn't that be fitting here? Priceless thought you have there~~~~
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 14, 2013 19:38:30 GMT -5
I was just talking to a lady this morning who is a teacher in a low-income school. I asked her how she liked working with those kids, and we talked about how the school is keeping up with kids who are "in-transition" (homeless) and what they do to help them out (food, clothing, special attention, etc.) She said she actually really likes it, and for the most part parents care, but just don't have the knowledge or skills to really help the kids get ahead. And then she said "And I definitely don't have to deal with all the parent bull-shit of our school."
This room mom wants to make sure that she has a solid relationship with the teacher so if her kid is tipping between the A column and the B column, the A column is chosen. We have dozens of those parents. I am enjoying middle school, because we don't have to witness it quite so closely. But I know they are out there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 19:38:51 GMT -5
If I knew that was coming, I definately call in sick.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 19:47:12 GMT -5
By an incredible coincidence, I have NEVER had to teach on my BD, in the four years I've been teaching. My four closest colleagues and I (the English teachers) all chip in to buy each other a cake and a token gift, on the date if they are teaching that day, or near it if they are not.
I would definitely opt to take my birthday day off, if only because I hate getting up early and I deserve to sleep late on my birthday LOL. But if I had to work that day, *I* would be the one buying the cake(s)! To me it's a no-brainer!
(I know I teach college and not primary school, so it's not difficult for me to schedule a day off in the semester).
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 14, 2013 19:50:13 GMT -5
It is a little like Parents Gone Wild. As far as I know, the room mom isn't friends with the teacher outside school. This is a pretty extreme example of what I've seen, but it's not way outside the norm, either, unfortunately. As I mentioned earlier, it's an extremely well-educated group of mommies (it is mostly the mommies although there are a few dads as well) and each year the competition to be the BEST, MOST INVOLVED MOMMY EVER! seems to grow.
It's also a fairly affluent group (it's a small town where there isn't much local industry, so the largest portion of parents are doctors, lawyers or people who sold successful businesses and retired young down here) and they like to show off not just their wealth but their "dedication" to the school with money. So fairly minor things become competitions to see who can be the most generous. These are not bad things - that generosity provides the PTA with hundreds of thousands of dollars per year, which pays for extra teachers and amazing equipment. But the downside is that all this further fuels the competitive fire.
I realize these are not bad problems to have. My children are incredibly lucky to go to a public school like this and dealing with hyper-competitive mommies is a small price to pay. So I'm going to be thankful, help my son finish up the damn hand project and be glad that things are generally good.
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