wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jul 25, 2013 13:20:35 GMT -5
I know of a couple in my hometown who adopted 2 children from Guatemala in the last 5 years. I'm going to imagine it probably wasn't cheap. All the wife wanted was to be a mom and she miscarried a few times. They are financially well off so I could easily imagine them paying $50-60k for both adoptions in total.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 25, 2013 13:36:46 GMT -5
Guatemala also adopted out to single men. Not all countries do. I had a gay employer, and that's where he got his kids from.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jul 25, 2013 15:21:17 GMT -5
I know there are risks associated with adoption. Birth mothers change their minds, parents get their act together or at least manage to get it together long enough not to have their rights terminated. There are other risks associated with international adoption. But there are also risks associated with having your own kid. There are miscarriages, there's finding out your baby won't survive more than a day or two after birth, premies, birth defects, etc. One of my friends nearly died from endometriosis during her first pregnancy.
No matter how you choose to bring a child into your life, there are going to be risks- emotional, physical, financial. You need to look at the risks and decide which ones you are willing to accept.
I'm a fat girl with digestive track issues and a bad back. No way in the world did I want to be pregnant. Pregnancy was something I did not want. But I wanted to be a mom. So I talked about adoption with C. We talked about the risks of having our own, of adopting internationally, locally, infant and older kids, going through the foster system with or without an agency. We decided on the method with the risks we were most comfortable with. And we're still in the risk stage. There's a chance (not a big one, but there is one) that the birth father's rights won't be terminated next week. Until that's actually done, its still a risk we are facing.
Everyone seems to know someone with an adoption gone wrong story, many fewer know adoption gone right stories, but that might be because those stories are less visible. (DD looks like she could be our bio kid. Unless we choose to share with people, no one will know she's adopted.) I think it also has to do with the fact that it's culturally permissible to talk about struggles with adoption. But I personally know at least 4 families with successful adoptions. I also personally know 3 women who have miscarried, and only one of those has gone on to have other kids. But miscarriage is not something a lot of women talk about, not even among their closest friends.
Listen to the horror stories. If they scare you off, then these are obviously not risks you're willing to take. But also be willing to look at the successes.
The biggest difference between adopting and getting pregnant is that you can never accidentally adopt someone. But if you want to bring a child (or another child) into your life, consider all the options-negatives and positives, and then decide what is right for you and your family.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 25, 2013 15:59:09 GMT -5
I know a few people who did the foster to adopt route. Maybe NJ isn't as bad as some other states but they said it wasn't that bad a process. they took maybe six months, after doing the classes, to get certified to be foster parents. they worked closely with a social worker who only did foster placements for household that wanted it to lead to adoption. They said the social workers knew which kids were not going to ever go back to their families. I think it was mostly for reasons like mom and dad were sent to jail for 15 years or were dead and none of the living relatives seemed like they would be willing to take the children. I don't know every aspect of their lives but the two girls they adopted seem happy, healthy and about as normal as any other kid. I will say though that my first child had horrible colic until 6 or 7 months. When I was pregnant I told our family Dr that if this baby had colic like her he was going to give one of us drugs to make it better and I didn't care which one of us. Well it turned out that my son was born only wanting three things, food, sleep and cuddles. If you wanted to change his diaper or clothes he was fine with it but I don't think he cared one way or the other. My point being that just because you had a high needs baby the first time doesn't mean you will have a high needs baby the second time. Good luck in whatever way you decide to procreate.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 25, 2013 16:05:49 GMT -5
Gosh, DFs DIL has one bio child, has another cooking with a surrogate and we are thrilled its into the second trimester now and another in the process from china. They aren't taking any child with special needs unless its asthma or something like that. So in the space of a year, they are going from one to three. This is going to be an awesome Christmas! We will either have two boys and a girl or one boy and two girls depending on what the surrogate had.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 25, 2013 16:06:51 GMT -5
It has been spendy, though. We contributed 25k for surrogate, bio grandma did the same and I know we will get hit up again for the china thing.
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genericname
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Post by genericname on Jul 25, 2013 16:23:16 GMT -5
I don't know how my sis-in-law's process for adopting went (she adopted long before I became part of the family), but I know a little about the end product:
She has a bio daughter of her own (the oldest) and adopted a brother and sister who around the ages of 4-5 and 2-3 at the time of adoption. Their bio mom was an addict (crack or meth, don't know which) and both kids were born addicted and directly placed into the foster system. As both kids got older, many emotional and learning problems became apparent.
The adopted girl is a very sweet girl, she's in her 20's and married now. She got pregnant the first time as a teen and gave the child up for adoption. She and her husband have one child. She is extremely bipolar and also hears voices. She had a psychotic break a couple of months ago, left the kid locked in the house (the child is 10 months old) and took off. She ran out of gas, luckily a trooper stopped to help her and she asked him to take her to the hospital. She voluntarily committed herself, was subsequently placed on a 72 hour hold, and the hospital obtained a court order so that they could force her to take her meds. She is now working through the very difficult process of balancing her meds/moods/health. She blames her bio mom for her chemical imbalance issues. I don't know if that is the root cause, but being born addicted can't be good for your long term outlook.
The adopted boy is a snake. He's in his 20's, and was basically disowned by my sis-in-law when he was about 15. He began stealing everything in sight, working the streets, is involved in dope and gangs, and is in and out of jail. He has zero empathy, and to me is a textbook sociopath. It is just a matter of time until he ends up in the pen, instead of just in county jail. He also blames his bio mom for his circumstances in life.
I don't say this to discourage anyone from adopting within the foster system or from a troubled mom, I just want to provide a real story. I greatly admire anyone who is up to taking on the challenge of adopting a raising a child who could turn out with many problems. I know my sis-in-law would not have adopted these two children if she knew what trauma they would add to her life. It isn't the nicest commentary on her character, but it is how she feels. I also think she probably contributed to the troubles of these two children, because it is apparent to me she treated the two adopted kids vastly different from the way she treated her bio kid. Her bio kid, by the way, is a useless piece of crap who will never amount to anything. She isn't a criminal and doesn't have any chemical imbalance/mental issues, she's just a lazy POS. So maybe this story is more of an indictment of her parenting skills than anything.
Good luck with whatever you choose, jenny. I hated the baby period too, but I love my 2.5 year old to pieces and somehow forgot how sucky the first year was, because I'm doing it again in November!
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jul 25, 2013 16:25:25 GMT -5
I've seen two success stories recently. Actually, both happened around the same time last year. Friends I have known forever both started down the path of private adoption at the end of 2011/beginning 2012. No idea what the costs were for either.
One got a potential placement in March-ish. Baby was born, they went to the hospital to get him. Baby ended up needing to stay a bit longer, and in that time the birthmom changed her mind. So one day they had a baby, the next they didn't. It was crushing. But they got another placement at the end of the summer and they have a sweet little girl they got to take home from the hospital. They were present when she was born and she's been theirs ever since.
The other couple waited until the end of summer for a placement, and their first one worked out. They now have a sweet little boy that they took home straight from the hospital.
I know its not typical, but I think it's pretty cool that both of their adoption journeys took about 9 months.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 26, 2013 9:28:13 GMT -5
I'd want my money back if some bitch decided to keep the kid after taking my money. She's entitled to her child but not my money and the child she promised me. What a scam!
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jul 26, 2013 10:00:03 GMT -5
I'd want my money back if some bitch decided to keep the kid after taking my money. She's entitled to her child but not my money and the child she promised me. What a scam! To me, that's one of the reasons to go through an agency, instead of a private adoption. Our agency pays the money for the mother's care. I pay the agency. If I pay the agency and don't get a kid, the agency refunds, or finds me another kid, and doesn't charge me again.
Otherwise, a lot will depend on the contract you set up. Adoption law is contract law, however, there are overriding state laws that give birth parents a time frame in which they can change their minds. I guess you could write into the contract that if they do that, they owe you the money you paid for their expenses, but then the adoption lawyer would probably advise them against choosing you and instead direct them to a family that did not have that provision. The thing to remember with infants is that it's a seller's market.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 26, 2013 11:24:30 GMT -5
Any lawyer who perpetrates a scam like that should be disbarred. A client who promises a baby in return for money then doesn't deliver has committed fraud.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jul 26, 2013 12:58:34 GMT -5
The biggest difference between adopting and getting pregnant is that you can never accidentally adopt someone.
That's probably one of the most ignorant comments I've yet to read here.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jul 26, 2013 13:11:06 GMT -5
The biggest difference between adopting and getting pregnant is that you can never accidentally adopt someone.
That's probably one of the most ignorant comments I've yet to read here. *shrug* As methods to starting a family/bringing kids into your life, there are lots of families that got started through accidental pregnancies. You can not go through the adoption process accidentally.
I don't say pregnancy or adoption is better than the other. I prefer is people planned to bring children into their lives, but I also know that there are plenty of successful families out there that started with an unplanned pregnancy.
I guess you could make an argument for unplanned adoption when someone in your family/kinship network dies or becomes unable to care for their children and you are named guardian, but you still can't actually go through the adoption process accidentally.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2013 16:38:47 GMT -5
I don't know what would be more stressful - having strangers vet us and our skills as parents, putting out lots of $ without a guarantee, and frequent international trips, or going through the stress of pregnancy and raising another baby from day one, shouldering the expense of child care for an infant and a small child, and being set back that many more years in terms of retirement. Today they both seem impossible....
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 26, 2013 16:46:04 GMT -5
I'd love to adopt but no way an infant. I'd be like Laterbloomer, taking older children. For one, they aren't going to be taken from you, and for another, you know up front, their issues. You decide if you can cope or not. Plus, older children need homes and love, too. I've done that baby thing and toddler thing. It wasn't MY thing!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 26, 2013 16:52:47 GMT -5
I don't know what would be more stressful - having strangers vet us and our skills as parents, putting out lots of $ without a guarantee, and frequent international trips, or going through the stress of pregnancy and raising another baby from day one, shouldering the expense of child care for an infant and a small child, and being set back that many more years in terms of retirement. Today they both seem impossible.... I'm not advocating anything for you. Many people are one and done for the reasons you mentioned for having another bio baby. Don't forget too, there are tax credits for adoption. Something like 10K. And I think you can spread them out over a year or two. If you chose to do a private adoption where you had to do the "pick me, pick me" book (I love that term), then your skills as parents and what you can provide are likely going to be judged more harshly. My DH is a recovering addict, and it will still be possible for us to foster/adopt kids. Apparently his therapist has written letters on behalf of his patients that are looking to add no-bio kids to their family. It's one of the first things I asked when we had a joint meeting.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jul 26, 2013 17:07:39 GMT -5
giramomma & @moneyjenny82 - tax credits for non- special needs children expired at the end of 2012. I don't think we'll find out if they were renewed or not until the IRS puts out their 2013 information in 2014. "Luckily" almost all older kids from foster care qualify as "special needs", even if that special need is just that they are older than the traditional age of adoption.
Our Pick Me book was actually pretty short- about 5-6 pages, 2 of which were our letter to the birth parents and the rest were just photos - of us, dogs, family, friends, yard, etc. In that sense, birth parents don't actually judge your parenting skills, they judge if you look "right" for their child, for the hopes and dreams they have for that child, even if its nothing like their own lives. (We heard the story of one birth mom who chose a family based on the fact they liked to hike. She wasn't outdoorsy herself, but was having a boy, and liked the idea of him growing up hiking and camping.)
But you do feel judged by the social worker who does the home study, no matter how nice they are (and I really like our assigned social worker). You also feel judged by the kids' social worker and CASA. It can be a very emotionally draining experience.
If it matters, Jen, I think you're doing the right thing by thinking about it now, before you plan to move. It gives you time to research and to figure out your own boundaries and risk tolerances. You might want to look and see if your local DSHS or adoption agencies provide any free trainings or introductions, just to start getting a feel. Like I said, we started in 2010 and due to one of the trainings (the most intensive one) we then decided to hold off for a couple of years, based on everything else that was going on in our lives.
EDITED TO ADD: And you have to do the home study with any adoption, private, agency, from foster care, etc. That's a requirement of adoption law. We have friends who adopted from his sister and had to do a home study.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2013 19:27:24 GMT -5
Given how badly this afternoon went, another child - regardless of age - would have sent me running for the hills. It was very reminiscent of the first 3 months - I'm exhausted, my nerves are shot, and I just want to crawl into a corner. Thank God DH is doing bedtime duty tonight. I'm trying to keep these kinds of days in mind when I think of adding another child to our family.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jul 29, 2013 7:08:31 GMT -5
That's probably one of the most ignorant comments I've yet to read here. *shrug* As methods to starting a family/bringing kids into your life, there are lots of families that got started through accidental pregnancies. You can not go through the adoption process accidentally.
I don't say pregnancy or adoption is better than the other. I prefer is people planned to bring children into their lives, but I also know that there are plenty of successful families out there that started with an unplanned pregnancy.
I guess you could make an argument for unplanned adoption when someone in your family/kinship network dies or becomes unable to care for their children and you are named guardian, but you still can't actually go through the adoption process accidentally.I'd ask, what does one have to do with the other? The end result might be the same or similar, but the processes are almost unrelated from what I've observed and read. Guess what, if you're a healthy individual of child bearing age(whatever that is) without any fertility problems and sometimes with, and you engage in sex, even with the use of birth control, there is still a risk of an unplanned pregnancy. So, what's the thrust here? An accidental pregnancy is somehow of less value than a planned adoption? Because of premeditated intent? Give me a break ....please. This goes more to the need to validate one's choices. It's a personal and private decision. Many choose adoption if they've been unable to get pregnant or if they just want to adopt...whatever, that's cool, to each his own. But there's absolutely no moral superiority to that choice than any other in my judgement. And that judgement is made by me and my DH for our family.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 29, 2013 7:40:46 GMT -5
But you do feel judged by the social worker who does the home study, no matter how nice they are (and I really like our assigned social worker). You also feel judged by the kids' social worker and CASA. I've been a CASA so seen some of this in action. Bless the perspective adoptive parents for going through what they go through because you are not just going to feel judged by the social worker and CASA, you are going to be judged by the social worker and CASA. It's their job. It may vary by area, but in Phoenix, only the worst of the worst cases (many of them so bad that if you made a movie about it, people wouldn't believe it) were assigned CASAs because there just weren't enough to go around. So if you're looking to adopt a kid that has a CASA assigned to him/her, that kid has already had a very tough time. The case worker and CASA can't fix what has happened to the kid, but they do their best to make darn sure that the kid is going to the best possible home and have the best possible fit. It requires judgment and it should.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2013 8:36:53 GMT -5
*shrug* As methods to starting a family/bringing kids into your life, there are lots of families that got started through accidental pregnancies. You can not go through the adoption process accidentally.
I don't say pregnancy or adoption is better than the other. I prefer is people planned to bring children into their lives, but I also know that there are plenty of successful families out there that started with an unplanned pregnancy.
I guess you could make an argument for unplanned adoption when someone in your family/kinship network dies or becomes unable to care for their children and you are named guardian, but you still can't actually go through the adoption process accidentally. I'd ask, what does one have to do with the other? The end result might be the same or similar, but the processes are almost unrelated from what I've observed and read. Guess what, if you're a healthy individual of child bearing age(whatever that is) without any fertility problems and sometimes with, and you engage in sex, even with the use of birth control, there is still a risk of an unplanned pregnancy. So, what's the thrust here? An accidental pregnancy is somehow of less value than a planned adoption? Because of premeditated intent? Give me a break ....please. This goes more to the need to validate one's choices. It's a personal and private decision. Many choose adoption if they've been unable to get pregnant or if they just want to adopt...whatever, that's cool, to each his own. But there's absolutely no moral superiority to that choice than any other in my judgement. And that judgement is made by me and my DH for our family. someone's wound just a tad too tightly.... well, never mind after all - DH has now changed his stance to "we can adopt only if I'm sterile". Although I don't think this was all in vain... I do appreciate everyone's stories and perspectives. I guess I never realized just how closely you are scrutinized when you are adopting. It's a shame that any fertile 15-year-old girl can get knocked up and be a mom with no background check but a loving couple has to jump through so many hoops to be parents. And the financial burden.... it's a lot to think about. IMO if we want to have our own kid again, I'd want to do it sooner rather than later, but we just can't do it now. And I am 95% sure I'd regret not having another kid. Seriously, if I have another baby soon, do any of you guys want to raise it to 18 months and then give it back to me?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jul 29, 2013 9:20:57 GMT -5
I know some others have posted about this, but I'll add my experience. My DD was a dream as a baby/toddler. She pretty much slept through the night (from 11pm to 5am) from about 8 weeks on. Only threw one tantrum in public (we went for a walk and it never happened again), took naps regularily until she was about 6 etc. The only worry she caused us was she ate very little and was in the 25th percintile (both height and weight). Her pediatrician told us no kid ever starved who had food in front of them and not to worry. My SIL had two kids, her oldest was pretty much like my DD, easy peasy. Her second, however, was a trial as an infant/toddler and SIL often states if her second child had been born first, she would have only had one child. Just because your first is testing your limits does not mean that your second will as well. Of course, it is entirely possible history will repeat itself. There is a saying that we are never given more than we can handle, and it sounds like you are capable of handling quite a bit.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2013 9:26:35 GMT -5
in all honesty, DS was a typical infant - he wasn't collicky or super fussy. He WAS a huge eater and BFing was soon a lost cause, but boy, when he was hungry EVERYONE knew it! He slept for 2-3 hour spurts and then 4 and then 5-6, etc. Maybe it was because he was our first or that PPD I most likely had, but I was constantly on edge and worried about everything. I felt like I was running on empty every single day for the first 2-3 months. It got much easier after month 6 and beyond, but I just really REALLY don't want to go back to that tense and sleep-deprived state - especially with another kid to care for.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 29, 2013 9:30:30 GMT -5
Have another, then you'll be too tired to give a shit.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jul 29, 2013 9:53:44 GMT -5
in all honesty, DS was a typical infant - he wasn't collicky or super fussy. He WAS a huge eater and BFing was soon a lost cause, but boy, when he was hungry EVERYONE knew it! He slept for 2-3 hour spurts and then 4 and then 5-6, etc. Maybe it was because he was our first or that PPD I most likely had, but I was constantly on edge and worried about everything. I felt like I was running on empty every single day for the first 2-3 months. It got much easier after month 6 and beyond, but I just really REALLY don't want to go back to that tense and sleep-deprived state - especially with another kid to care for. For me, #2 is completely different than #1. She is pretty mellow and happy, so that helps, but it is more than just that. I am actually more comfortable with 2 kids than I was with just one. DH swears 2 is three times more work than 1, but for me I am so much more comfortable being the mom of 2 than I was being the mom of just 1 that I feel like it is less work. Maybe it is because I can't focus and dwell on the negative parts of the day with 2. Usually if one kid is acting up, the other makes up for it. If DS is giving me attitude, DD is completely thrilled just to snuggle up with me and give me love. If DD is being a fuss bucket, DS will say something that just makes me laugh. The first 4 months were hard but more because DH had back surgery than because we had 2 kids instead of 1. I was scared to death to have a second child. I hated DS's first year with a passion and was dreading that first year so much that I actually wanted to give DD a name with a very positive meaning to try to counteract the negativity I had in regards to being pregnant and the first year. I knew I wanted 2 because I felt like we poured way too much energy into DS and in the long run to have that much energy of 2 parents focused exclusively on one child would be detrimental. But we pulled the trigger and I have been thrilled. I love watching DD interact with DS. DS still isn't sure of her - the "Oh No, she's looking at me" and "Oh no, she wants to play with me" are kind of funny to watch, but he is coming around and DD is starting to get to the point that she can play a little bit with DS, so it is cute. It was tough to have faith that having 2 kids would work out. For me, having gone through that first year once made it very real as to how short it is. It didn't feel that way with DS until it was over. Now, I know and I know I can get through it. It also helps that I went to therapy before getting pregnant this time for lingering depression issues from PPD with DS. It was therapy that 1. validated my feelings (which was important to me because I felt like I shouldn't feel the way I felt) and 2. it gave me coping mechanisms. It also helped me realize my limits and when I felt myself starting to become too overwhelmed with 2 kids, I recognized that I made changes to take some of the pressure off of me. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jul 29, 2013 10:39:57 GMT -5
skubikky - I am sorry you feel judged by me, that is certainly not my intent. Philosophically, I don't feel there is much difference between pregnancy and adoption as methods to start families. Process wise, I'm not stupid.
Yes, I do think the world would be a better place if all children were wanted and planned for. Does that mean I care whether or not your children were specifically planned for? As long as they are loved and cared for, it doesn't really matter after the fact. I have a cousin who was unplanned in so many ways, but my aunt wanted her and made it work. Do I think the unplanned nature of the pregnancy made her a worse parent? Absolutely not. It probably forced her to be a better parent. But I know that my aunt's life and my cousin's early years would have been much easier if it had been something planned for instead of something figured out. Sum Dum Gai and Loopdilou are excellent parents and raising two amazing daughters, but I bet if you were to ask either one of them if they wanted one of their girls to have an unplanned pregnancy in her late teens/early 20s, you'd get a "hell no".
At the same time, I'm adopting (and from foster care no less), that pretty much means I'm dependent on someone else's unplanned pregnancy (and screw ups).
But honestly, I don't care one way or the other how you brought children into your life. All that matters is that once a child arrived it was loved and cared for. Period.
@moneyjenny82 - One of my main reasons for adopting was skipping that first 18 months, so I'm afraid I can't be of any help. But I have heard, and not just from posters here, that you really can't judge your second baby by the first. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide. (And maybe follow muttleynfelix's experience and get counseling about child care issues/PPD BEFORE you get pregnant a second time.)
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 29, 2013 18:54:25 GMT -5
in all honesty, DS was a typical infant - he wasn't collicky or super fussy. He WAS a huge eater and BFing was soon a lost cause, but boy, when he was hungry EVERYONE knew it! He slept for 2-3 hour spurts and then 4 and then 5-6, etc. Maybe it was because he was our first or that PPD I most likely had, but I was constantly on edge and worried about everything. I felt like I was running on empty every single day for the first 2-3 months. It got much easier after month 6 and beyond, but I just really REALLY don't want to go back to that tense and sleep-deprived state - especially with another kid to care for. Unless you have a night nanny, there is no way around sleep deprived. I loved being home with my babies but the complete lack of sleep was horrible. So erags I would get so exhausted that I would want to cry because the thought of going one more night without sleep would surely kill me. I'm still here :-) If it is any consolation, the infant stage has nothing on the teenage years...She sleeps like the dead but the worries are so much greater. I would go back to the infant stage in a heart beat over the teen years...except I know that it is only delaying the inevitable
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thyme4change
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Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 29, 2013 19:05:31 GMT -5
It's something that I think we will consider in a few years instead of having another baby. We really want another child, but we cannot afford (in energy, money, or what it could potentially do to our marriage) to have another "from scratch" baby. Unless you need some kind of intervention to get pregnant, making one from scratch is generally cheaper and faster. Most 2-3 year olds that need adopting have some kind of real problem. Either they were born with it, and their current care situation just gave up on them, or their first 2 years caused a problem, and now you have to go in and fix that mess. As sleepless as those first two years are, I think you have a better chance of getting a cheap, easy baby if you create them yourself.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 29, 2013 19:34:45 GMT -5
in all honesty, DS was a typical infant - he wasn't collicky or super fussy. He WAS a huge eater and BFing was soon a lost cause, but boy, when he was hungry EVERYONE knew it! He slept for 2-3 hour spurts and then 4 and then 5-6, etc. Maybe it was because he was our first or that PPD I most likely had, but I was constantly on edge and worried about everything. I felt like I was running on empty every single day for the first 2-3 months. It got much easier after month 6 and beyond, but I just really REALLY don't want to go back to that tense and sleep-deprived state - especially with another kid to care for. I was fooled about infant stage by my mother. She told me for decades how all I did was sleep and eat for the first year. So, the stupid me thought OF COURSE my kid would do the same. Yeah, right. And then EVERYONE told me that surely my second would be much easier. yeah, right. And if that didn't work, the third would be the perfect child. yeah, still waiting for that one. So, if I had another kid I would be preparing for the worst
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 29, 2013 21:09:42 GMT -5
Nope, my first was easy peasy. Still is. My second was not and still isn't.
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