NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 31, 2015 14:00:53 GMT -5
Adding: I guess May isn't that far away. He'll be trying it sooner or later, it sounds like. I got turned around and figured there was a bit more time on the clock, apologies. Good luck with this Kara, I whole heartedly agree with Nancy, you seriously went the distance with this. Everybody has different personalities and learning styles, and he does sound like he'll have to learn some things the hard way. Hang in there, and be kind to yourself, okay? I seriously have a ton of respect for you and your ability to hold on when things get rough Oh, man. Went the distance better than his BPUs (bio parental units) did. Even Hun, nice guy that he is, may have let things ride too long back in the early days, in an effort to keep the peace. As for Jetsam, well, she may have birthed him, but in Basic Mother 101, she earned an "F".
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 31, 2015 14:59:21 GMT -5
I agree with what Zib has said...clearly, she's been there, done that, got all the T-shirts they make. Kara, you're getting your T-shirts the hard way. You are indeed going to have to let him do what he does the way he wants to do it. But I also say no money. If he thinks doing it his way is so fun and cool and easy and doable, then let him prove it. Let him figure out how to pay for everything he wants and needs. It will be a hard fall when he faces being homeless, hungry and minus all the creature comforts he knows and loves. Some kids just have to learn that way. You did not fail. His biological parental units did not step up often and firm enough, from the sound of it, and frankly, mama Jetsam is just a mama hot mess. It sounds like it was easier for Hun to just go with the flow that ride against the tide. Now Rowdy pays, but at this point, he's almost a legal adult. Not much you can do except love him and let him know the door is open, but there are rules if he wants to walk back through that door. Don't worry guys - I also agree no money!!! I help kids who are doing what they need to that will lead to success in life. I don't support kids who calls me names, is disrespectful and insists that I have no idea what I'm talking about when I've already BTDT. I appreciate you highlighting the "I did not fail". Even though I know that - it's still really encouraging to read.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 31, 2015 15:07:48 GMT -5
Adding: I guess May isn't that far away. He'll be trying it sooner or later, it sounds like. I got turned around and figured there was a bit more time on the clock, apologies. Good luck with this Kara, I whole heartedly agree with Nancy, you seriously went the distance with this. Everybody has different personalities and learning styles, and he does sound like he'll have to learn some things the hard way. Hang in there, and be kind to yourself, okay? I seriously have a ton of respect for you and your ability to hold on when things get rough Thank you Copper! I, too, do not think that Rowdy is totally throwing his life away at this moment. He's just really, really, really making the next steps in life harder on himself than they have to be. He'll be fine - eventually. The biggest thing I want him to know and understand is that we still love him even if he makes choices that put his life on a hard path. However, he'll be walking that path alone, not because we're trying to control him or want him to do what *we* want him to do, but because we're not going to reward rude behavior and defiance (which is what he is currently displaying). Anyway - kids are home....back to being the "evil" person that I am!!
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 31, 2015 15:10:23 GMT -5
I agree with what Zib has said...clearly, she's been there, done that, got all the T-shirts they make. Kara, you're getting your T-shirts the hard way. You are indeed going to have to let him do what he does the way he wants to do it. But I also say no money. If he thinks doing it his way is so fun and cool and easy and doable, then let him prove it. Let him figure out how to pay for everything he wants and needs. It will be a hard fall when he faces being homeless, hungry and minus all the creature comforts he knows and loves. Some kids just have to learn that way. You did not fail. His biological parental units did not step up often and firm enough, from the sound of it, and frankly, mama Jetsam is just a mama hot mess. It sounds like it was easier for Hun to just go with the flow that ride against the tide. Now Rowdy pays, but at this point, he's almost a legal adult. Not much you can do except love him and let him know the door is open, but there are rules if he wants to walk back through that door. Don't worry guys - I also agree no money!!! I help kids who are doing what they need to that will lead to success in life. I don't support kids who calls me names, is disrespectful and insists that I have no idea what I'm talking about when I've already BTDT. I appreciate you highlighting the "I did not fail". Even though I know that - it's still really encouraging to read. You're been awesome up to this point. And I know it sucks to watch him do a really stupid thing, but i don't think you can stop this train. Have you thought about what you and DH are going to do about any car Rowdy drives/his car insurance if he does move out/break contract?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 31, 2015 15:13:02 GMT -5
I'm sorry, when does he turn 18? Just be careful while he's a still a minor.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 31, 2015 15:23:04 GMT -5
You cannot save someone from themselves, and if Rowdy is bound and determined he knows it all, he needs to be given a learning opportunity to realize he doesn't know it all.
As far as contacting the friend, meh. Maybe the friend needs to learn a lesson too.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 31, 2015 16:18:56 GMT -5
You're been awesome up to this point. And I know it sucks to watch him do a really stupid thing, but i don't think you can stop this train. Have you thought about what you and DH are going to do about any car Rowdy drives/his car insurance if he does move out/break contract?No worries on this - He has no license (not even a permit) and no vehicle, as such, no insurance either. We told him over a year ago that we would not even allow him to get the permit if he wouldn't get his act together regarding his grades. My words to him, "if we cannot trust you with the little things like grades, why would we trust you with a 2 ton vehicle that will put other people's lives at risk?" We thought that would motivate him (seemed to for about 2 weeks), but then he slacked off again..... Yet another angle we asked him - "how long do you think your "friend" is going to drive you to work? To the grocery store? To where ever it is you want to go?" He claimed he would walk (defiance shining brightly). <snort> Yeah right! The kid doesn't walk ANYWHERE if he doesn't have to....
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 31, 2015 16:22:33 GMT -5
I'm sorry, when does he turn 18? Just be careful while he's a still a minor. He turns 17 this May (2 months). He'll be 18 next year. Another thing that really drives us nuts - he'll turn 18 one week before graduation (if he manages a miracle and graduates on-time). We've told him - get the paper, turn 18 and we'll say, "There's the door - move in with your mom, your friend, whoever. If you need to move back - we'll talk, but we're not going to MAKE you stay at that point."
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 31, 2015 16:27:19 GMT -5
And just how does he plan to walk and get to work on time? And in all kinds of weather?
This boy has thought absolutely none of this through. The friend should absolutely not allow him to move in, but as Swamp said, maybe the friend needs to learn a lesson, too. I bet that friendship wouldn't last a week under the circumstances as they stand.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 31, 2015 16:39:33 GMT -5
And just how does he plan to walk and get to work on time? And in all kinds of weather? This boy has thought absolutely none of this through. The friend should absolutely not allow him to move in, but as Swamp said, maybe the friend needs to learn a lesson, too. I bet that friendship wouldn't last a week under the circumstances as they stand. LOL!!! I KNOW! This boy makes me laugh when he tries to tell me that I know nothing about how to survive in life and that I'm the one living a lie. This reminds me so much of the night he ran away. In shorts, t-shirt, no money and no where to go - on a day where the high was in the 60's, but the lows were in the 40's. He came home less than 24 hours later, cold, hungry and exhausted. Don't get me wrong - I'm not worried about him in the ways you may be thinking..... I'm worried that he's going to give up completely. That's what I DON'T want to happen. There is history with his mom giving up. Even though he's seen her struggle and he's seen how hard her life is, he is still at huge risk of just giving up. I'm stubborn remember? I want him to graduate if I have to drag his butt across that stage!!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 31, 2015 16:53:52 GMT -5
I get you. It feels like you've failed but you haven't. You've done the best you could under circumstances that most people would walk away from. YOU want it more than HE does because he doesn't understand the consequences. You do. We all do. I swear I'd try to find someone who messed up their life, kind of like the Scared Straight people, and let them talk to Rowdy. I wish he'd meet my cousin who dropped out. She found the GED much harder than HS and never did get it. She totally regrets to this day dropping out. Her life has been a series of minimum wage jobs and she's now working at a vets office cleaning cages and walking animals. The only time she gets a raise is when minimum wage increases. If she wasn't married, she'd be on the street.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 31, 2015 20:12:25 GMT -5
Too bad he doesn't have a girlfriend to set him straight. Sometimes you stay in school for less than good reasons.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Apr 1, 2015 6:49:48 GMT -5
Too bad he doesn't have a girlfriend to set him straight. Sometimes you stay in school for less than good reasons. It's so sad how accurate this is. I had an acquaintance in college, flunked out first semester because he didn't do the work. Two years later he was re-admitted (as a freshman) and he had a girlfriend who was encouraging him to be a good student. I do believe he got his BA the second time around
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 6, 2015 21:38:53 GMT -5
Started my new job today. Spent the entire day in compliance training on the computer. Bleck!!!
Not complaining, just hate going through that. I have another day just like it tomorrow, but we're supposed to actually get into the programs tomorrow. They commented that they use 15 different programs for different applications, so I'll be learning all of that.
Instructor asked me a lot of questions to figure out exactly where I was knowledge wise. She said I was ahead of the curve because of my background and once I learn the systems it should be pretty easy for me.
I sure hope so! Over the last two weeks, not having any work to wake up to, I've slept fine. Last night, I had multiple dreams about work, slept horribly, and woke up anxious this morning. Came home from work and was right back into a funk. :-( I suspect this is what a mild form of ptsd feels like.
I'm glad I took two weeks. I probably should have taken 4.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 7, 2015 6:49:49 GMT -5
Probably. But what's done is done. You'll do great on the computer stuff.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 8, 2015 19:18:03 GMT -5
I already hate the new position and I haven't even started in the job or left training. :-(
Maybe it's the trainer. Maybe it's me. Probably me.
My training is bass-akwards from the other 4 ladies going through the class. Because I'm a transfer rather than a new hire (like the other 4), I already have background on some of the systems. So while they are going through general hospital training, the trainer is seeing what I already know and what I need specific training in.
One of the major comments on the first day was how important it is that information be entered into the system correctly in the beginning or it screws up systems down-stream. I totally understand this because of my work with the physicians (job I just left). Same issues would happen if things weren't correct.
Today's training involved me asking, where is the specific information that I should be inputting on these "test" patients you want me to schedule? The answer - just make the information up. When I pointed out that was in conflict of "inputting the information in correctly from the beginning", it was implied I have no imagination - but it was really good that I was so detailed oriented. But I would need to just make stuff up. The system allows for "wiggle room" and won't let you do anything you're not supposed to.
Uh.....excuse me....could this may be the reason why you have issues with documentation being incorrect? Maybe if you trained how to do it "correctly" from the beginning, rather than teaching "the system has wiggle room", then you wouldn't have to stress the importance of doing it right the first time!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 8, 2015 19:31:24 GMT -5
I'm just so frustrated right now.
It's like I'm being treated like a kid rather than an adult.
The trainer knows I'm a transfer. She knows I've been with the system for 20 years. She also knows that I left a very high stress job that I need to forward emails to if anyone missed my notice.
As a new employee to the department, I had almost 20 training modules to complete. The new hires have over 30, plus orientation to attend. I did the major, 2 hour module on Monday. In between modules, I checked my email and was forwarding stuff that had been sent to me over the course of the last two weeks I was off. (5-10 at a time at most, depending on if I had to reply)
If I had to reply to anything (involving typing), I'd get a comment from the trainer - "do you not have any more modules to do?" I'm sorry. I thought I was an adult and could pace myself.
I totally understand that patients come first....when I'm in front of the patients. I also understand that when you tell me that modules are the only thing I'm going to work on until the other trainees get back, I'm going to make sure they are done in a timely manner. Please don't tell me I'm "typing too much" for the modules, so you can tell I'm not on task when I told you I would be forwarding emails as appropriate.
Like I said, maybe, probably, the issue is me.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 8, 2015 19:40:20 GMT -5
I also received an email from another entity within our system, from a Medical Staff Office, asking if I would be interested in a part time position in their department.
I have to say, the offer is tempting. Part time, doing what I already know, but with a LOT less responsibility (just an AA rather than a credentialer). I already understand the importance of the work, and I'm already trained on the software (well....self trained).
Decisions decisions.....
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Apr 8, 2015 20:21:46 GMT -5
Not to be Debbie downer, but can you even afford to go to part time?
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 8, 2015 20:44:59 GMT -5
Not sure. I took a significant pay cut already. If the part time job pays more, it may be a wash. I'd have to find out more information before I could make a decision.
I'm back in a mental state of just quitting anyway. It hasn't been a pretty evening.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Apr 8, 2015 20:48:14 GMT -5
Kara
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Apr 9, 2015 5:28:22 GMT -5
Hugs and support from me too!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 10, 2015 19:13:56 GMT -5
Thanks for the support guys! I do feel vindicated today. One of the other trainees talked to me after the class (away from the instructor) that training isn't going so well for her either. That the trainer is flying through the material and leaving important steps out (especially for new hires) and she's struggling with learning the systems. That is EXACTLY what I am seeing as well. I pointed out to the instructor that a crucial step is missing in one of the training packets today (something I'm VERY familiar with and if you miss this step, then it is a big issue). When we first went through the steps, the trainer asked if the search brought up what we were looking for (a physician's valid medical license). When several people commented that they received multiple hits on the search, the trainer was surprised and commented, "Really? Why would the same physician have multiple licenses for the state? That's just crazy and doesn't make any sense." (Implying that either we did the search wrong or the state is crazy for allowing more than one license to show on the website - I'm not sure which....) When I tried to explain why more than one license shows (because that was part of my job that I just left and it's important to know what you may find and what is accurate information to look at) and further explain that the person doing the search needs to go one step further, the trainer interrupted me and said, "I explained that (no she didn't) and anyway, everyone knows to click on the next page." Ummm......no they don't and it's a HUGE issue if they don't!!! The whole point of the exercise was to make sure the physician had a valid state license. The web-page she stopped everyone on only showed that they had been ISSUED a state license, not that the license was VALID AND CURRENT. I'm trying to decide exactly how much I want to rock the boat on things like this. I'm not the trainer, I'm not a boss, but I see errors like this and it could potentially cause huge problems! As someone who appreciates the training being accurate, this week has been hugely frustrating for me. Anyway - I know you guys could careless about these details - but it helps me to get it off my chest! Venting to DH doesn't do anything because he glazes over.....
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 10, 2015 19:23:41 GMT -5
I also received a very positive response from the other job offer about whether or not I'd be interested. I don't have the details yet because the job hasn't been approved for posting yet, but we're going forward with talks. I don't know any details except that it would be part time, doing very similar work to what I was originally doing in the department 3 years ago (as an AA rather than as a credentialer - which I loved doing at the time), and that I already know the people and systems I would be working with - I would just need to learn their specific procedures.
So.....question......what would be the best course of action:
Sticking the current job out until the new job is officially offered, putting in my notice and transferring at that point (could take as long as 1-3 months, but could also happen quicker as well....no way of knowing).
Or....
Informing the current job that it isn't a good fit for me, putting in my notice now, thus saving everyone training effort and money, cash out my vacation time (which would cover a 2 month absence at this point since I just used 2 weeks)
I see pros and cons to both sides.
You guys know the background and can be objective....what do you think? Ask all the questions you want - I'll get back to you as quickly as I can.
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kjto1
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Post by kjto1 on Apr 11, 2015 4:29:45 GMT -5
I wouldn't quit the current job - what if for some unknown reason you don't get the part-time job - then you are unemployed.
I'm not sure what I would do about the trainer. I may be inclined not to rock the boat with him - because he sounds like a "something or other" and he would probably find a way to make your life miserable. If you can't afford to lose your job, then sometimes you have to bite your tongue.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Apr 11, 2015 7:59:59 GMT -5
Does your employer have a different hiring system for internal hires? At my employer it is much easier to hire someone internally, so if we are trying to hire someone internally and they quit, it pretty much ends the process and we are back to square one.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 11, 2015 8:18:47 GMT -5
Be careful about going to too many jobs even internally, in a short time. Say nothing more and quietly do the job the way it should be done. Do NOT point out anymore errors to instructor. The last thing he wants is you pointing out he's an idiot even when he is. This can bite you big time and you don't need anymore troubles.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Apr 13, 2015 11:19:33 GMT -5
Is there anyone over the trainer's head you could go to without causing lots of grief? I know, funny right? I'd stay until I was sure I had the other job, and not cash out all the vacation time. You may have need of it later with all those kids. How big a pay difference is there between the two jobs? That'd be my biggest concern, right after mental health.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 15, 2015 22:54:47 GMT -5
Ok. Sorry for the delay getting back!
On my phone so please forgive any typos.
8 days of training....pure hell, but much better than no training at the last position! I haven't said anything about the trainer, but just learned as much as I could and watched. By day 6, she had lost most of the others to training fatigue and the last 2 were mentally done yesterday. I won't actually start the new position until tomorrow afternoon as I have one last training class tomorrow morning. Ugh!!
The new position is all about grading the employees on metrics, process times, data entry error rates and satisfaction scores. I haven't had a job with this tight of a leash since before I started working for the company. I've always had positions that relied on shifting priorities and meeting deadlines, but nothing like this. I always had the freedom to decide that "this" is higher priority than "that" today. This job is going to be a huge adjustment for me.
I received confirmation today that the other job was approved to be posted, so it should be up fairly quickly. We do have different processes for internal and external candidates. I am considering talking to my new manager on Friday. I have a meeting with her that she scheduled. I think I'm going to see exactly what the meeting is like before I say anything about the new job.
If I transfer, my vacation time will automatically be paid out to me because the new position is part time. I'm not worried about that - I went PRN once, same thing happened and I'm still maxed out on PTO. Hun has better benefits than I do, so we'd just transfer benefits once I lose coverage.
Talked to Hun. He's leaving the decision up to me. He stated, "I know you won't do anything that will hurt the family. If you think this is a good move, then I support you."
Anyway. I'm tired. I'll post again as soon as I can.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 17, 2015 18:48:16 GMT -5
I spent my first full day in clinic today (and half a day yesterday).
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be cut out for this position based on what I'm seeing. I realize that I haven't seen everything and that my opinion is probably going to change dramatically come Monday (supposedly their busiest day), but so far....I'm not impressed. I don't want something stressful - but I don't want a job that is nearing mind-numbing either.
One employee (who was part of my interview) asked me yesterday why I wanted to "lower" myself and take the position. That I seemed way too "sophisticated" and "educated" for this position. That question caught me off guard, but I told the truth - that I needed something less stressful.
All I kept hearing from the employees is how busy they are, how they have no time to do all of their work, how stressed out they are and how much overtime they have. Both days, the clinic closed early, by 4:30pm both days (I'm supposed to be scheduled until 5:30pm, but left with them as I don't know how to "close" yet on my own) as there were no more patients scheduled. Employees started leaving for the day today as early as 1pm.
There was one point that there was a new patient checking in, one attempting to check out, a patient on the phone and another line on hold. That was the busiest it was all day. And it wouldn't have been a struggle if I had know what do do with the new patient and the phone call on hold (all had to wait for the lady training me to get to each of them - everyone was pleasant and understanding so far).
I don't know....it just doesn't seem that hard. I don't see what is so stressful about the job. Maybe it's because my perspective is skewed so horribly from the last 3 years.
I'm not complaining...more like just documenting my thoughts and impressions as I go through this transition.
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