Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Dec 19, 2013 21:26:31 GMT -5
I would check on craigslist and see if you can get a newer used machine. I have seen fairly new washing machines in the $75-100 range in our area. It is getting closer to the end of the month and people will be moving and you might be able to get a good deal. If not then fix it. You might even be able to pick up a refurbished one at an appliance store for a fairly good price at this time of year. They want to clear it our before inventory time.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Dec 19, 2013 21:37:57 GMT -5
Also check the Classifieds in the newspaper. The weekend papers usually have the most ads in them in the Classifieds section.
Check under "Household Items" or "Appliances for Sale"
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 19, 2013 22:53:09 GMT -5
The easiest way for Christmas would be for everyone to pick a name and buy for that person at a certain amount. Or make them something or give them something. They can even go to goodwill. You, as parents, can do the same. I think you should spend some money on yourselves. Underwear isn't exactly a splurge. Don't say a word about the unexpected windfall because you will actually have people, maybe even your own children, say it should be spent on them. I've been asking my extended family to do this for several years now! None of them wanted to do it! Mom and Dad finally agreed earlier this year (before or around October time frame) that we needed to as the family is getting just too big - SIL threw a fit because she said she's already been buying gifts for everyone and that we shouldn't start that until next year. Fine - but the budget didn't change any - everyone (the 6 of us - DH, me and our 4 kids) still had the same budget for the year, so that was less to spend on everyone. My Mom and Dad understand - her, not so much. My step-kids didn't buy her anything - they chose to spend their limited budget on us (their Dad and me - I gave them gift choices that were mostly under $5, with nothing costing more than $10), each other and their mom and half-brother. I'm sure she's going to be disappointed if she's giving gifts to everyone and she's only got one or two gifts to open. Tough - we don't have any money!!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 19, 2013 23:02:51 GMT -5
Regarding the shocks... DH told me that the shocks are so bad that it is affecting the way the treads on the tires wear (it's obvious that one side is wearing quicker than the other of each tire). As we have a truck and a suburban, the tires are expensive and we want to make sure the vehicles last a long time (the suburban needs the shocks worse than the truck, but the truck needs them too). Is this not accurate? I'm familiar with some mechanical issues on vehicles, but not familiar with shocks... Yes that is true. I should have added that if there was a safety issue or bad wear/handling then they need replacement. Okay - that makes sense and that's what DH says. He's mechanically inclined, does a lot of maintenance on our vehicles already, and plans on replacing the shocks himself. I asked him tonight what he thought the cost would be to replace them - he said probably $50-75 each for his truck, $75-$100 each for my suburban, so my estimate was a little off. We're going to look for deals on the shocks and as we've been putting it off for a while now, this will happen pretty quickly.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 19, 2013 23:11:05 GMT -5
Ok, I'm going to go a completely different direction from everyone else here. 1) Buy shocks for the car. 2) Open a separate savings account. Put the balance of that money in there. Stop paying on all your credit cards, put that money in there as much as possible. Once the bank tells you how much you owe for the boat, use that money to file bankruptcy and settle with your creditors.
Kara - you guys are only getting ahead because you aren't paying on things - and sometimes you are sitll getting behind. It will take you 7 years to get the bankruptcy off your credit and if you COMMIT to not living like this again, you will be in a really good place by then. You will have a clean slate in 1 year. It will take you many years dig out of this hole, and at the end you will have a clean slate, but be many years behind where you would be if you filed now. I don't know why, but even thinking about filing makes me feel like a failure. I know it shouldn't, but it does anyway. I know earlier in the thread I talked about waiting until we're closer to the first of the year to see where we're at on our bills before we made this decision whether or not to file. Well....we're at the end of the year. I pulled my spreadsheet up to look at it to see where were at - the overall numbers are not going down any because of the interest, but some of the individual bills are going down. One thing that I haven't mentioned - simply because I forgot about it - the Jared's bill is down to owing $350.00 (it's 0% until February I believe). We've been paying that bill with cash the last couple of months - we were keeping current with it originally by putting it on another CC (GM I think). So - we can actually pay that bill off and free up $220 per month (the minimum payment to keep the 0%). So....yeah....I'm not sure what to do....give it another 6 months to see where we're at or just bite the bullet and file.
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ken a.k.a OMK
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Dec 19, 2013 23:13:11 GMT -5
That sounds like a plan. I've done shocks before and I'm an electrical engineer. Not sure if an alignment might help afterward. I'm sure you'll feel an improvement in the ride and handling. Good luck on the financial goals.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 19, 2013 23:13:39 GMT -5
DH and I talked - we're going to fix the machine. It's an easy fix....just frustrating that it's happening now. It's not a cheap fix, but it's still cheaper than buying a new(er) machine.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 19, 2013 23:20:37 GMT -5
That sounds like a plan. I've done shocks before and I'm an electrical engineer. Not sure if an alignment might help afterward. I'm sure you'll feel an improvement in the ride and handling. Good luck on the financial goals. They'll both get an alignment afterward. The first time both vehicles needed an alignment, we took them to Firestone and paid for the lifetime warranty. Both vehicles have been in multiple times since then and the extra cost has since paid for itself. We're smart in some money areas - really stupid in others!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 20, 2013 7:55:25 GMT -5
I'm sorry-not really- that your SIL doesn't get it, but she doesn't have to. You need to do what is right for your family. I'm thinking you may not have to declare bankruptcy after all. You seem to be doing well now that that boat is gone. Sme months aren't perfect but that is life. You got that windfall and that's awesome. Makes a huge difference, doesn't it? It's awesome watching your progress.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 20, 2013 10:49:16 GMT -5
Skip the elliptical and buy an exercise video off craigslist. The P90 beginner series is really intense, you can do it in your living room, and you can buy it half off used. Take care of your cars. another idea for exercise videos, there are tons of them on YouTube For a low impact, easy enough on someone that hasn't exercised in a while one look for Leslie Sansone (the walking at home videos). They won't be so hard that they'll make you quit and get you in the habit of doing something, anything. There's also fitness blender (.com) It's free, you can put together parts for a workout or they have whole ones (warm up to cool down) also.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 20, 2013 12:46:16 GMT -5
I have a very expensive treadmill that sits collecting dust in a spare room. It was nice in theory, but its hard on my back and more trouble than its worth. Ive done gym memberships as well, started with the best of intentions but quickly became a PITA. I did much better with a personal trainer and having someone to be accountable to, otherwise I was just lazy after the initial excitement. I also have a Leslie Sansone video. It's ok, but I get bored pretty easily. I also have a few of the dance move videos...again, they are ok but not enough to keep me interested long term.
I have actually found the best exercise for me, is to go for a walk. Its actually a great time of year for it. I hook up the dog and go around the neighborhood. We have an informal competition with Christmas decorations in the neighborhood, so I go out around 9 every night and get to see the lights and get some fresh air. I live in the DFW area as well, so its not too cold and if dressed appropriately, its quite comfortable.
I guess my point is the despite all the money I've shelled out, the one free thing I do is the one that is most enjoyable for me and the one I've stuck too for a long time. I change the times I go depending on the time of year, but for what ever reason the hour I'm walking is a good opportunity to recharge...and the dog loves it too.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 20, 2013 12:48:58 GMT -5
I get bored with Leslie too, but she is a good place to start making a habit with if she doesn't have a good time/place to walk. I found I do better staying home with my walking than leaving. I'm weird like that though
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 20, 2013 15:39:32 GMT -5
Too many distractions for me at home...and people wont leave me alone. By taking off, I get away from everyone although it doesnt stop them from texting me. I just ignore them.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 20, 2013 19:43:41 GMT -5
If you are going to fail-fail fast!
When you are doing your year end planning deciding what to do, figure out how long it will take to pay everything off based on your payments the last few months. At this rate of progress will you have everything paid off in 5-7 years?
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Dec 20, 2013 21:11:13 GMT -5
Ok, I'm going to go a completely different direction from everyone else here. 1) Buy shocks for the car. 2) Open a separate savings account. Put the balance of that money in there. Stop paying on all your credit cards, put that money in there as much as possible. Once the bank tells you how much you owe for the boat, use that money to file bankruptcy and settle with your creditors.
Kara - you guys are only getting ahead because you aren't paying on things - and sometimes you are sitll getting behind. It will take you 7 years to get the bankruptcy off your credit and if you COMMIT to not living like this again, you will be in a really good place by then. You will have a clean slate in 1 year. It will take you many years dig out of this hole, and at the end you will have a clean slate, but be many years behind where you would be if you filed now. I don't know why, but even thinking about filing makes me feel like a failure. I know it shouldn't, but it does anyway. ... Nobody here ever asks the question so I will do it: what is so bad about failing on something once? You live, you learn, and you move on. That is life. If babies learning to walk would give up the first time they fall on their butt we would all be crawling. Now if you are back in the same situation in a few years you left out the most important step -and that would not be good! Oh, and if you do decide to file and there is any money left over, after checking how much filing costs, go buy non-perishable food items with it
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 20, 2013 22:15:29 GMT -5
I'm sorry-not really- that your SIL doesn't get it, but she doesn't have to. You need to do what is right for your family. I'm thinking you may not have to declare bankruptcy after all. You seem to be doing well now that that boat is gone. Sme months aren't perfect but that is life. You got that windfall and that's awesome. Makes a huge difference, doesn't it? It's awesome watching your progress. Thank you Zib....this meant a lot to me when I read it.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 20, 2013 22:25:08 GMT -5
I have a very expensive treadmill that sits collecting dust in a spare room. It was nice in theory, but its hard on my back and more trouble than its worth. Ive done gym memberships as well, started with the best of intentions but quickly became a PITA. I did much better with a personal trainer and having someone to be accountable to, otherwise I was just lazy after the initial excitement. I also have a Leslie Sansone video. It's ok, but I get bored pretty easily. I also have a few of the dance move videos...again, they are ok but not enough to keep me interested long term. I have actually found the best exercise for me, is to go for a walk. Its actually a great time of year for it. I hook up the dog and go around the neighborhood. We have an informal competition with Christmas decorations in the neighborhood, so I go out around 9 every night and get to see the lights and get some fresh air. I live in the DFW area as well, so its not too cold and if dressed appropriately, its quite comfortable. I guess my point is the despite all the money I've shelled out, the one free thing I do is the one that is most enjoyable for me and the one I've stuck too for a long time. I change the times I go depending on the time of year, but for what ever reason the hour I'm walking is a good opportunity to recharge...and the dog loves it too. I guess that's why DH and I talked about doing a machine is because of our lifestyle. We've tried going for walks, but it never sticks longer than a week at a time for whatever reason (usually related to dinner, kids, etc). We've also done the gym membership as well (I have a gym at my work - I forget the exact cost, but it's really reasonable for a family - like $50 a month or something like that). Problem is - my work is a 20-30 minute drive from home and not convenient to just stop by. I could go to work early or leave work late, but with 4 teenagers ranging in age from 13-17, our schedules are all over the place! I've been at my company almost 18 years - I know at one point I paid for a membership for around 9 years before I finally cancelled it because we weren't using it (I was only paying for myself at the time which is like $15 a month). When I realized I was still paying for it, other than being frustrated with myself, I just had to laugh it off as my charitable contribution to the facility. I have a bad knee - I'd actually prefer the elliptical because the treadmill and walking hurts after a while. The elliptical doesn't affect my knee nearly as bad - probably because of low impact. DH would prefer a treadmill because of his body style (long torso, short legs) - the elliptical has too wide of a stance for him to be comfortable on. We talked about going to a store and trying out the different machines to figure out which one machine would work the best for both of our issues. We only have room in our house for one machine. I doubt we'll do anything in this area anytime soon - it was just something we were trying to decide if it would be worth it or not.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 20, 2013 22:40:40 GMT -5
If you are going to fail-fail fast! When you are doing your year end planning deciding what to do, figure out how long it will take to pay everything off based on your payments the last few months. At this rate of progress will you have everything paid off in 5-7 years? Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I've been thinking about the suggestion to file for bankruptcy. I did a rough estimate - we'd probably have everything paid off in around 6-7 years at our current rate and current payments. That's eyeopening and frustrating all at once! I'm still hesitant to file though - why? Because I don't think it would help us. I think we'd be right back in this same spot in another 5-10 years or so. Do I know we would be? No....but I'm not sure how much we would learn from the experience either at this moment. I'm frustrated with the slow progress, but I'm still paying the bills and looking at the bottom line. DH is more involved than he was before, but isn't looking over every bill and doing the "heavy-lifting" so to speak. The area he's learning in is where it's hitting him the hardest - not having a boat and an escape from life like he had before. He's having to ask for rides on other guys' boats, being turned down, having to fish from the back of the boat and not having any control. It may not sound like much, but from what I'm seeing - the experience is very humbling to him. He's having to reevaluate what's really important to him in life besides just fishing. I fear that if we filed now, as soon as we're able, he'll just go want to go out and buy another boat we can't afford simply because it's easy to forget lessons that aren't painful enough. And I'll cave because I love him and I want him to be happy - and I know fishing makes him happy. That is my fear in filing. What I think will help both of us the most right now is to struggle along for at least another year (maybe the entire time), continue being humbled in ways we haven't experienced yet, appreciating what we do have, and learning together how to live on and with what we actually have, not what we want. Maybe I'm wrong....
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Dec 20, 2013 22:53:56 GMT -5
No, I don't think you're wrong. I think you're making great progress - even if it is only baby steps right now .
It's still better than treading water backwards.
Sorry to hear your DH is still sulking about the boat. Sometimes being humbled is a good lesson. If he enjoys fishing so much it shouldn't matter to him whether he's at the helm of his own boat, or fishing off the side of a friend's. It's still water and still fishing. That's the other lesson he has to learn. Fishing is fishing - all you need is a rod & tackle.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 20, 2013 23:01:28 GMT -5
I strongly suggest you look at nfcc.org. I think a lot of them are low or no cost. I think they might be able to lay it out for your DH really well, plus there might be classes and such they can recommend for you guys if you really fear getting into this mess again if you file bankruptcy. Best to try now to learn before it gets to a point where he/you can run up the credit again.
Honestly, I think there's a good chance they'll say to consider bankruptcy and I think coming from someone other than you might make more of a lasting impression on your DH.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Dec 21, 2013 6:25:05 GMT -5
If you are going to fail-fail fast! When you are doing your year end planning deciding what to do, figure out how long it will take to pay everything off based on your payments the last few months. At this rate of progress will you have everything paid off in 5-7 years? Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I've been thinking about the suggestion to file for bankruptcy. I did a rough estimate - we'd probably have everything paid off in around 6-7 years at our current rate and current payments.That's eyeopening and frustrating all at once! I'm still hesitant to file though - why? Because I don't think it would help us. I think we'd be right back in this same spot in another 5-10 years or so. Do I know we would be? No....but I'm not sure how much we would learn from the experience either at this moment. I'm frustrated with the slow progress, but I'm still paying the bills and looking at the bottom line. DH is more involved than he was before, but isn't looking over every bill and doing the "heavy-lifting" so to speak. The area he's learning in is where it's hitting him the hardest - not having a boat and an escape from life like he had before. He's having to ask for rides on other guys' boats, being turned down, having to fish from the back of the boat and not having any control. It may not sound like much, but from what I'm seeing - the experience is very humbling to him. He's having to reevaluate what's really important to him in life besides just fishing. I fear that if we filed now, as soon as we're able, he'll just go want to go out and buy another boat we can't afford simply because it's easy to forget lessons that aren't painful enough. And I'll cave because I love him and I want him to be happy - and I know fishing makes him happy. That is my fear in filing. What I think will help both of us the most right now is to struggle along for at least another year (maybe the entire time), continue being humbled in ways we haven't experienced yet, appreciating what we do have, and learning together how to live on and with what we actually have, not what we want. Maybe I'm wrong.... Kara during this time you will have kidlets leaving the nest so some expenses will be dropping which may accelerate your rate of repayment. You had mentioned that LaLa wants to continue to live at home and attend a CC, which is a good thing. Has she started looking into how the tuition/books will be paid. You will want to be doing the FAFSA as early as possible, like New Years Day. My DD got some good grants because we did the FAFSA early every year. We were also able to pay for the majority of her books with amazon gift cards earned doing Swagbucks. Just some things for you to think about. It sounds to me like you are making progress and that your life is coming together.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 21, 2013 7:50:17 GMT -5
You need to change you attitude about money. You called the $4,000 a windfall. It WAS NOT a windfall. It was money due you as child support. OK, typing this sounds harsh even to me but I also remember you using the word "just" a few times. I know it is overwhelming and you are making steps but I really don't feel husband is truly on board at this point and using poor pitiful me crap. So it seems to be falling on you to make the hard and tough decisions - so make them. This is the only legit credit counseling out there and you should see if there is one available to you in your city. Also curious as to whether or not you have to declare $4,000 on your tax return for this year? Been 30 plus years since I had child support and don't remember what the guidelines are now. Are you going to owe taxes? You said you tried gym membership, walking, etc and nothing worked so why do you think spending money on a piece of equipment will work when you don't have a dime to spare? Get it free OK but if $85 is a problem for a washing machine repair then no money for exercise equipment regardless of the excuse to buy it. Ok, I feel really bad about this post but am going to hit send anyway And I truly know you are doing your best and just overwhelmed and it is easy for me to sit here typing away willy nilly..
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Dec 21, 2013 8:01:16 GMT -5
Child support is not taxable income and is not reported on their tax return.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 21, 2013 8:03:15 GMT -5
Thanks Taz157, I just couldn't remember and to lazy to look up IRS regs!!!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 21, 2013 10:32:01 GMT -5
<sigh>
Been raining here all night. DH just told me and I went to look for myself - the ceiling in the boys room is leaking - pretty steady.
I guess we know what we're going to do with that money.
<sigh>
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 21, 2013 11:01:47 GMT -5
You need to change you attitude about money. You called the $4,000 a windfall. It WAS NOT a windfall. It was money due you as child support. OK, typing this sounds harsh even to me but I also remember you using the word "just" a few times. I know it is overwhelming and you are making steps but I really don't feel husband is truly on board at this point and using poor pitiful me crap. So it seems to be falling on you to make the hard and tough decisions - so make them. This is the only legit credit counseling out there and you should see if there is one available to you in your city. Also curious as to whether or not you have to declare $4,000 on your tax return for this year? Been 30 plus years since I had child support and don't remember what the guidelines are now. Are you going to owe taxes? You said you tried gym membership, walking, etc and nothing worked so why do you think spending money on a piece of equipment will work when you don't have a dime to spare? Get it free OK but if $85 is a problem for a washing machine repair then no money for exercise equipment regardless of the excuse to buy it. Ok, I feel really bad about this post but am going to hit send anyway And I truly know you are doing your best and just overwhelmed and it is easy for me to sit here typing away willy nilly.. NNP - please, PLEASE do not feel bad about posting your thoughts and opinions! I really appreciate every post and every post has me thinking about what's being said. I may not act on every suggestion, but every suggestion has me thinking regarding if it will work for our family or not. Please take my response in the manner in which I intend - simply as an explanation and not justification of our decisions/attitude. I am open to new ideas and choices and I appreciate everyone of you. As Taz stated - CS is not taxable, so I do not have to worry about that issue. If I came across as acting like the money was a windfall....well....it kind of is at the moment. Yes, it is money due to me, but when you have a parent who hasn't paid in a long time and then makes a lump sum payment - it's money that I didn't have before that can now be used for something that's been put off. If the $250 was paid to me monthly like it should be, then it would be incorporated into our bills somewhere already. Since it's not - I wanted opinions on how to spend it the wisest. And you're right - DH isn't truly on board yet. That's why I don't want to file BK right now. He won't fully understand the impact if we do. We're talking about it all and he's understanding more and more, but not having the boat is what's bringing the entire situation home for him. He's commenting on how choices he has made has put us in this position and how he can't believe he's been so selfish (not just the boat, but other choices as well). It is a slow process for him as well, but in the last couple of months, I've seen DH mature in ways he should have matured years ago. As for the cost of the repairs on the washing machine - it's not that we cannot afford it, we can. I posted the question with the intention of hearing other opinions on if it was worth fixing a 13 year old machine with another $85 dollar part when we just replaced a different $85 part or if it would make sense to buy a new(er) one. We're going to replace the part. On to the exercise question - I am what doctors term as a "non-compliant" patient. Not because I don't WANT to make better choices, but because I have to figure out what works for me. Usually I try the suggestions and when it doesn't work for whatever reason, I end up abandoning the suggestion. I had every dentist out there telling me to floss and use mouthwash - never did until I figure out that putting my items in the shower worked for me. I had an issue taking the weekly vitamins the doctor prescribed me because if I couldn't take them first thing in the morning, I'd forget to take them at all because I couldn't take them with my thyroid medicine. He finally upped my thyroid dose a little, had me skip a day and take the vitamins on that day - this works for me. So....we're just trying to figure out what works for us. That's all. I do appreciate your thoughts, ideas and the smack upside the head when I need it!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Dec 21, 2013 11:07:34 GMT -5
Okay - DH is off the roof - turns out there was a ton of crap up there that was creating a dam and he thinks he fixed the problem. We're still going to call out a roofer to make sure there's not something else going on, but we think the trash dam and the ice we had last week caused the leak. My DH may suck at money - but he's awesome in other areas - like the fact that he climbed up on the roof in the middle of pouring rain to try and keep the damage to a minimum. (Yes yes yes - I know he could have hurt himself....I tried to tell him that, but he was insistent on trying to stop the issue as quickly as possible before any more damage could happen). So...I got to stay inside a dry house posting on the internet while DH saves the day! I love my DH!!
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Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,556
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Post by Works4me on Dec 21, 2013 12:13:25 GMT -5
Sounds to me like he is a good man and that is what is most important. I agree that it is not yet time to file BK as DH doe not "get it" yet. I also like the way you acknowledge strengths and weaknesses.
As for the back Child Support, I would do the shocks, up your EF, replace the money in your son's account ( you can always sr]e-borrow it if needed,) repair the washer, buy underwear, get a haircut, and sit tight on the rest for a bit to see what rises to the top. I would not classify any of it as "blow money" because while haircuts and underwear can wait, they eventually become necessities and it is important to appear professional at work.
Things have a way of breaking down at the worst possible times - imagine if the roof did need repairs and you had no cash on hand and no credit available. There will be more emergencies like the washer, roof and car repairs in the months to come plus thing the kids need for school and you need to be able to pay cash for them. I would not pay anything on the bills which are behind because you do not have enough to pay them all off and they are not behind enough for them to negotiate with you - at this point in time I think hoarding the cash is your best bet.
I know that everyone will probably disagree with me on this, but I would do a minor upgrade to Christmas, nothing extravagant and not to exceed $50 each or $400 total. Maybe a used elliptical machine for you/DH and one small gift for each child. IMHO as a family, every member deserves to benefit from a "windfall" just as every members has been and will be part of the new austerity program.
I am impressed with how far you have come already and how well you are doing. Kudos to you and keep on keeping on.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 22, 2013 7:42:08 GMT -5
I would do the credit counseling as well. The reputable place. If they tell you to file bankruptcy, it will then be something to consider. Those kids need jobs, period. Needed them for months now, even babysitting. NYE very profitable time to babysit. Cat or dog watching as people leave town. Fix your shocks and washing machine. Get underwear and haircut. If you can't lump sum a bill payoff, keep making payments and bank the rest where you can't easily access it. If it seems like your DH is looking for a way to spend it and you feel you can't tell him NO, then re-allocate to bill payoff. Looks like you might be able to keep at least half of it after paying bills. Do you have a less expensive place to buy canned goods? I use Aldis for the food bank donations. They went up in price before the holidays but still, soup was at least 50 cents a can cheaper. Maybe you could spend some to stock your pantry and cut food costs? One night a week could be a soup night. I'd look at local library for feeding on the cheap. Once a week our newspaper runs a snippet of how to feed a family of four a good healthy meal for less than $10. You'd need to double that but it's doable. Crockpot is your friend, too. Does DH ever catch anything? Add that to dinner. Turkey is reasonably cheap. Lasts forever. Many uses. Taco night is cheap feed as is spaghetti night. Every bit helps. I'm glad your DH is on board somewhat but his mantra of how it's his fault you're in this mess, I'm not buying. He wants you to soothe his feelings because of the boat that took you over the edge. His kids have also contributed to the financial mess. Lets face it, CS is much less than the actual financial cost of raising a child, let alone the physical and emotional stress they bring to the plate. I've said it before and I will say it again, you're a saint. Extra for Christmas for the kids? No way. They want extras? They can earn the money for them. Nothing like not much under the tree to motivate the unmotivated.
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Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,556
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Post by Works4me on Dec 22, 2013 12:39:59 GMT -5
I also strongly recommend nfcc.org. I used them back in the early 1990's when I was in over my head with credit cards and living beyond my means. nfcc.org was able to negotiate lower/no interest rates and helped me learn to set a realistic budget. With their help I was able to pay everything off in less than 2 years.
I also agree with you, Karaboo, about waiting to file BK until your DH fully grasps the severity of the situation. BFF and her DH filed a year ago, after knowing they needed to for some time. The good thing about having waited is it gave them time to try, and fail, at everything else to dig themselves out of their financial hole. By taking their time and going slowly they learned a great deal in the process and have greatly decreased their risk of repeating their previous mistakes.
IMHO, the only advantage to failing fast is it allows you to recover more quickly and be able to access credit again. That can be a good thing if you need to buy a house but also can be a bad thing as I think it greatly increases the risk of another financial collapse. Since you already own your home and cars, I agree with you that the slow way of trying to dig yourselves out of your financial hole is best for both of you. Until DH finally "gets it" it can best to go slow.
One other thought is to hold onto whatever cash you have left after taking care of the necessities as there will be other emergencies popping up in the near future that you will need to handle without credit. Also, if you ever do decide to file BK that must be paid in cash upfront. I think it would be best to try to repay your creditors from your regular income as you both will learn the most from doing it that way.
I think your entire family has come a long way since last summer. I am very impressed by your personal growth and look forward to seeing you succeed because you will.
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