An Anonymous Note

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

To the guy who parked in the last remaining handicapped spot at Kroger's,

I suspect that you are using someone else's tag - jumping out of your car and running into the store gave you away. Since I desperately needed that spot, I got to watch you run in and out with no apparent disability, while I got to crutch into the store from twice the distance. My only hope is that karma visits you sometime and you're in my position sometime. Then you'll realize exactly how much of an asshole you are.

[cael]

Feb 14, 2011 12:09:54 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Dear Dufus,

Please don't park in the fire lane - especially if everyone else has. I will be in this building, and although I understand you are more important than everyone else, and deserve a close parking spot, I would appreciate it if you could follow basic safety laws so my family doesn't perish in a burning building and the fire engines can't get here because you were too lazy to park in a regular spot and walk 20 yards.

P.S. This goes to all the a-holes in the handicap spots too.

<threadjack> Speaking of idiots parking in handicapped spots without being handicapped - read this: www.salemnews.com/local/x1996913267/Woman-sues-over-300-ticket-for-parking-in-handicapped-spot </threadjack>

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Feb 14, 2011 13:11:33 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

To the guy who parked in the last remaining handicapped spot at Kroger's,

I suspect that you are using someone else's tag - jumping out of your car and running into the store gave you away. Since I desperately needed that spot, I got to watch you run in and out with no apparent disability, while I got to crutch into the store from twice the distance. My only hope is that karma visits you sometime and you're in my position sometime. Then you'll realize exactly how much of an asshole you are.

I would have been sorely tempted to key his car.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

To So Many Drivers;

My car is not small, nor is it equiped with a cloaking device.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dear baby:

No you cannot have the remote, mommy is talking on the phone no you can't have it, mommy's hair is not a pull toy, daddy's shoe is not a teething ring, for the love of God hold still while I try to put this diaper on you!

[Apple]

Feb 14, 2011 15:24:03 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dear baby:

No you cannot have the remote, mommy is talking on the phone no you can't have it, mommy's hair is not a pull toy, daddy's shoe is not a teething ring, for the love of God hold still while I try to put this diaper on you!

Dear baby boy,
My head is not a target to aim for when you're getting your diaper changed.
Thanks.

ps--neither is my mouth

Ok, that one never happened with me, but the ex-husband never learned that you needed to give him a minute to release before you take off the diaper.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dear Dog

What the hell did you just eat off the floor? On second thought, I don't want to know. Just know that I am not pulling it out of your butt when it gets stuck, you can just stay squatting outside forever.

[NancysSummerSip]

Dear kitty ( you know there has to be one after DQ's "dear dog"),

Hairballs are a fact of life, yours and mine. When they gotta come up, they gotta come up. Try and do the right thing, and at least aim for the tile floor. Cleaning it out of the carpets is just plain fugly.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Dear Cat;

No, God did not give me legs so you could sharpen your claws on them.

[swamp]

Feb 14, 2011 15:24:03 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dear baby:

No you cannot have the remote, mommy is talking on the phone no you can't have it, mommy's hair is not a pull toy, daddy's shoe is not a teething ring, for the love of God hold still while I try to put this diaper on you!

It got to the point with DD that I would have to sit on the floor to change her and throw my leg over her to restrain her. She wasn't too thrilled about it, but you gotta go what you gotta do.

[Deleted]

Dear Drivers

The left lane is for passing and "faster" traffic

If you want to be a "safe" driver doing 50 in a 65 mph zone, please do not do it in the left lane....be safe....just not in MY lane

Also.....to all the techo nerds on the road.....when travelling at speeds exceeding 70mph please do not deviate your attention from the road (i really do want to get home in one piece, and that text message is probably just not worth my life)

[thyme4change]

Dear Horatio,

Stop changing the title of your thread.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

To my wife's cat:

Your mission in life is not to trip and kill her.

[thyme4change]

Feb 14, 2011 17:00:37 GMT -5 Mad Dawg Wiccan said:

To my wife's cat:

Your mission in life is not to trip and kill her.

How do you know it isn't? Were you there when the cat got his mission?

[Elizabeth]

Feb 14, 2011 12:39:04 GMT -5 wudchuk said:

Dearest Oblivious A-Hole.....
There is a reason the doors are marked "Enter" and "Exit". Let's review.... Enter means use that portal to enter the store.... and.... therefore... the portal marked Exit is for leaving the store. I really don't appreciate that fact you can't quite grasp the concept and then give me the look when I enter the store as you are leaving thru the F-ING ENTER DOOR!!!!.....

Oh My..... that does feel better!!....

Bwaaahahahaha! Reminds me of my first job. I worked at a hardware store in a strip mall and people would literally pull open the exit door using all of their strength to try to come in. You would think they might have wondered at some point why they have to pull open an automatic door and saw the clearly marked "Exit" sign right in front of their face.

[Elizabeth]

I am going to adopt Elizabeth. She gets me. I work with her coworker's twin. The one who yells across the room to make sure that I've read so-and-so's email.



Thanks Nancy! Im glad someone else feels my pain on this one.

[Deleted]

Feb 14, 2011 15:24:03 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dear baby:

No you cannot have the remote, mommy is talking on the phone no you can't have it, mommy's hair is not a pull toy, daddy's shoe is not a teething ring, for the love of God hold still while I try to put this diaper on you!

YES! To all that! It's amazing that with all the toys (including toy remotes and phones) that they only want to play with things that are NOT theirs! But at least 3yo ds plays with 6mo dd's toys - so they're not a total waste!

[Becks]

Dear Boss,

Get rid of the dead weight around here and just maybe we'll be more productive = profitable.

[happyscooter]

Dear friend,
Yes, I would like to participate in the Christmas cookie exchange. However, I am on vacation since it is Labor Day and you have called my cell phone indicating you have to know my answer 'now.' It is only cookies and I am sure that if you would call my house and leave a message on my machine, it will still be there when I get home in a few days.
P.S. Don't call me on my cell phone during work hours either. Management frowns on that sort of thing.

[NancysSummerSip]

Sorry to resurrect this, but....

Dear coworker,

Yes, I understand you've been out of the office for good and legitimate reasons. But upon your return, please don't whine about what's not been done in your absence. I cannot change the fact that you've chosen never to share your knowledge with anyone else, out of fear that someone else might actually possibly be able to do your job. You are a fearful, small-minded person whose greatest agony in life is the thought of competition.

I like competition because I think it makes people reach down inside themselves and become better at what they do.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

To My Dog;

Yes, your butt made that noise. Stop looking around like you don't know where it came from.

[thyme4change]

LOL

[NancysSummerSip]

To my husband,

Explain what you mean when you say, "There's no way I snore."
Then listen to this recording. It's you, and it sounds like a jet taking off inside a tile warehouse.

[thyme4change]

Nancy - do you think he will figure out who sent that anonymous note?

[NancysSummerSip]

Nancy - do you think he will figure out who sent that anonymous note?

Possibly, but I plan to tell him the cats wrote it, and they are running away from home unless he changes his ways.

[hurley1980]

Dear Ke$ha and Justin Beiber:

You're not fooling anyone! Shut the hell up!

Sincerely,

Bleeding Ears

[happyscooter]

Dear Father-in-law,
Please stop embarrassing me in public. Just because you are elderly doesn't give you the right to beyotch about everything. You have great insurance and several hundred thousand $$$$ in the bank. You can afford to pay the doctor a $20 co-pay. Please don't announce to the book keeper that you will be writing a letter to the doctor telling him you won't be back again. (Which of course they will be happy for you to do just that.) Your wife did the same thing to me, I stopped taking her to the doctor.

P.S. And if you don't want us to stop taking you out to eat, leave more than $1.00 for a tip.

[TheOtherMe]

P.S. And if you don't want us to stop taking you out to eat, leave more than $1.00 for a tip.

Do I ever know all about this one. I go back to the table and put more money for the tip on it.

[Deleted]

Feb 15, 2011 18:49:50 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

P.S. And if you don't want us to stop taking you out to eat, leave more than $1.00 for a tip.

Do I ever know all about this one. I go back to the table and put more money for the tip on it.

My dad tried to leave extra one time and my grandmother realized what he was doing and made a big deal about how offended she was...

[Deleted]

My dad just came to live with me, after my mom passed in September

He wants to contribute....so he takes us out to dinner every few weeks

He was leaving 5-10% of the tab for the tip......and this happened a few times

I made up the difference and then finally asked why he was being so cheap....was the service bad? was the food bad?

His answer....always did it that way...what he learned while in germany in the military (over there 10% is great because tip is built into bill)

I explained the difference here....he wanted to drive 300 miles to his favorite old spot and try to apologize to the staff....

What a guy!