swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2013 11:45:33 GMT -5
My kids are 8 and 10 and I wouldn't be comfortable leaving them for a full day. I would be okay leaving my 10 year old for an hour or two but my 8 year old is way too immature. Plus they would probably kill each other if no one was around to referee... Somehow, Thyme ended up with quiet, responsible, respectful, well behaved kids. That's totally unfair. [img]http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png[/img]
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2013 11:46:43 GMT -5
It depends on the kids. My son that is going to be 11 this summer has stayed home alone for stretches over the summer the past couple years now. He has camps and visits to Grandparents mixed in there, but there will be a week here or two weeks there with nothing scheduled. He's a pretty responsible kid and we're out in the country where he's not going to be running around getting in trouble with other kids, so I'm comfortable with it. His 11 year old cousin? I wouldn't leave that kid alone for 10 minutes.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 11:47:27 GMT -5
We have some camps and some vacations planned. But we have a few weeks with nothing planned. The kids want to not do anything those weeks. One in June, one in July, and we have nothing scheduled for the one or two weeks in August before they return to school (different schools - the boy has one week unscheduled, and girly-pants has two weeks unscheduled.) This week, they are staying with friends during the day. I think that is wearing them down. And I don't want to overstay my welcome with friends.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 23, 2013 11:49:52 GMT -5
We have a recently turned 9 yo that we are going to start working on letting stay home alone and walking too/from one of his activities by himself.
10 would not bother me. 8 for me would be iffy, depending on the relationship between the two kids.
My kids have a bigger age gap. Sometimes they get on really well, and sometimes there's hitting/other bodily harm between the two.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 23, 2013 11:53:05 GMT -5
We have some camps and some vacations planned. But we have a few weeks with nothing planned. The kids want to not do anything those weeks. One in June, one in July, and we have nothing scheduled for the one or two weeks in August before they return to school (different schools - the boy has one week unscheduled, and girly-pants has two weeks unscheduled.) This week, they are staying with friends during the day. I think that is wearing them down. And I don't want to overstay my welcome with friends. If they can handle it, I would try to honor their wishes. My oldest is the type of kid that needs time to stare out at the clouds. He doesn't do well having activities all the time. Infact, the more scheduled he gets, the more difficult he becomes when he's tired.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 11:54:06 GMT -5
My kids are 8 and 10 and I wouldn't be comfortable leaving them for a full day. I would be okay leaving my 10 year old for an hour or two but my 8 year old is way too immature. Plus they would probably kill each other if no one was around to referee... Somehow, Thyme ended up with quiet, responsible, respectful, well behaved kids. That's totally unfair. Go figure - according to this board, I'm doing everything wrong, yet my kids are awesome. Neener, neener.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 23, 2013 11:54:12 GMT -5
I wouldn't do it. I'd find someone who isn't old enough yet to get a real job and wants to make some cash. 15 and under.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2013 11:54:48 GMT -5
Somehow, Thyme ended up with quiet, responsible, respectful, well behaved kids. That's totally unfair. Go figure - according to this board, I'm doing everything wrong, yet my kids are awesome. Neener, neener. <<packs kids up, ships them to Thyme>>
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 23, 2013 11:56:20 GMT -5
Well, first of all what are the laws of your state? I believe there are some laws that children must be 12 to be home alone. Or, maybe i am wrong about that. But, personally, i would NOT leave an 8 and 10 yr old home alone. They would probably be fine to sit at home and watch TV and make themselves a sandwich. But, if something unexpected happened, they would not have the mental maturity to know how to react. When i was walking home from school at about age 8, i missed the place where i was supposed to turn. In my 8 yr old mind, i did not know what to do so i simply just kept on walking and walking and walking. The cops picked me up a couple miles from my home and took me home. It was a simple thing gone awry and who knows? I have 3 kids and when i couldn't be home, they went to daycare and were ALWAYS supervised by an adult until they hit 12.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 11:59:43 GMT -5
We don't have an age law in my state.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:00:43 GMT -5
Go figure - according to this board, I'm doing everything wrong, yet my kids are awesome. Neener, neener. <<packs kids up, ships them to Thyme>> Too late - it starts in the womb. You have to eat unpasteurized cheese, and massive amounts of canned tuna. And - sleep on your back.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on May 23, 2013 12:01:35 GMT -5
My son is staying home this summer, but he is 11. He wasn't ready to be by himself for long periods of time. But we live in a small town and he's been riding his bike more to get ready for summer. He has a few friends that will be by themselves as well. So we are planning on letting them ride back and forth, down to the pool - movies etc. I think he's looking forward to it.<br><br>While I might leave the 10 yo buy himself- I don't think I'd want them to look after the 8 year old. I think that is a bit too much responsibility yet, and I'd think they would get on each others nerves.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 23, 2013 12:06:45 GMT -5
Well, first of all what are the laws of your state? I believe there are some laws that children must be 12 to be home alone. Or, maybe i am wrong about that. But, personally, i would NOT leave an 8 and 10 yr old home alone. They would probably be fine to sit at home and watch TV and make themselves a sandwich. But, if something unexpected happened, they would not have the mental maturity to know how to react. My 5 yo and I got separated at a store. She wanted to browse a bit by herself, and couldn't find us after she was done browsing. So, she found a clerk and asked them to page me. I don't ever remember discussing what to do if we got separated. So, she either figured out how to do it on her own or they talked about what to do in 4K. (But, I'm pretty sure they didn't talk about it in 4K.) Anyway, I was impressed, considering she still can't get our house numbers/phone numbers straight. We talked about how she was afraid, but she didn't cry at all... I know not every family does scouting, but in Cubs, when DS was 8, we had to walk through what to do when you get in trouble. He even had to make a list of numbers to call. It's taped up next to the phone. So. I do think some kids have the maturity to act properly in a situation.
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genericname
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Post by genericname on May 23, 2013 12:10:24 GMT -5
Allriiiiight! I'm eating tons of tuna and sleeping on my back at 15 weeks! High five! Seriously, I don't know enough about 8 and 10 year olds to hazard a guess. I'm sure the individuals are what make or break the decision. Thank god my guy is only 2.5, so I KNOW that leaving him alone with a book of matches is probably bad. I know I will have to make this decision, too someday. I'm glad y'all have older kids: I'm learning a lot just by following postings about kid decisions on this board. It's much better than the "mommy boards" I've seen. At least here we KNOW we are crazy judemental and all other parents are wrong.
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2013 12:10:41 GMT -5
But, if something unexpected happened, they would not have the mental maturity to know how to react.
Last summer at age 10 my son probably saved our neighbors life when his tractor tipped on him by our house. He was outside playing with his dog and saw the accident, called 911 and other neighbors on his cell and they were there in minutes to get it off of him. He could barely breathe and his ribs were puncturing his lungs. Honestly, my son handles stressful situations better than my ADHD husband.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2013 12:14:14 GMT -5
Well, first of all what are the laws of your state? I believe there are some laws that children must be 12 to be home alone. Or, maybe i am wrong about that. But, personally, i would NOT leave an 8 and 10 yr old home alone. They would probably be fine to sit at home and watch TV and make themselves a sandwich. But, if something unexpected happened, they would not have the mental maturity to know how to react. My 5 yo and I got separated at a store. She wanted to browse a bit by herself, and couldn't find us after she was done browsing. So, she found a clerk and asked them to page me. I don't ever remember discussing what to do if we got separated. So, she either figured out how to do it on her own or they talked about what to do in 4K. (But, I'm pretty sure they didn't talk about it in 4K.) Anyway, I was impressed, considering she still can't get our house numbers/phone numbers straight. We talked about how she was afraid, but she didn't cry at all... I know not every family does scouting, but in Cubs, when DS was 8, we had to walk through what to do when you get in trouble. He even had to make a list of numbers to call. It's taped up next to the phone. So. I do think some kids have the maturity to act properly in a situation. Funny, my son has been in Cub/Boy Scouts for 7 years now, and he's had me paged in stores really young before as well.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:14:54 GMT -5
I don't think that I would make the 10 year old in charge of the 8 year old. Maybe by default it would be that way - but they treat each other like equals. The older-younger sibling dynamic isn't as strong as I've seen in other families. (Although my daughter did mention that youngest children are annoying, and that she is the only one in the family that isn't a youngest child. )
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 23, 2013 12:16:41 GMT -5
Well, first of all what are the laws of your state? I believe there are some laws that children must be 12 to be home alone. Or, maybe i am wrong about that. But, personally, i would NOT leave an 8 and 10 yr old home alone. They would probably be fine to sit at home and watch TV and make themselves a sandwich. But, if something unexpected happened, they would not have the mental maturity to know how to react. My 5 yo and I got separated at a store. She wanted to browse a bit by herself, and couldn't find us after she was done browsing. So, she found a clerk and asked them to page me. I don't ever remember discussing what to do if we got separated. So, she either figured out how to do it on her own or they talked about what to do in 4K. (But, I'm pretty sure they didn't talk about it in 4K.) Anyway, I was impressed, considering she still can't get our house numbers/phone numbers straight. We talked about how she was afraid, but she didn't cry at all... I know not every family does scouting, but in Cubs, when DS was 8, we had to walk through what to do when you get in trouble. He even had to make a list of numbers to call. It's taped up next to the phone. So. I do think some kids have the maturity to act properly in a situation. An 8 yr and 10 yr old brain is an 8 and 10 yr old brain. Yes, you do your best to try to teach and coach children. But just saying that is all it takes is abdicating your responsibility as a parent and putting the onus on them. Kind of like leaving a loaded gun and telling them "don't touch that" and leaving the room. That is leaving them with responsibility instead of where it belongs which is on the adult. You don't put young children into potentially difficult or problematic situations as the adult. I never would allow children that young to be at home. I worked and DH worked and we didn't have a lot of family around to help out so i paid out a lot of daycare money to cover those gaps. My children's safety is well worth that. But, yeah, probably nothing bad will happen. But, what if it did? Could you live with yourself? I personally don't think it is a chance worth taking. You can do what you want. Just my opinion.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 12:18:06 GMT -5
In my state it would be illegal and you could get in some pretty serious trouble for it. You may want to check if there are laws in your state. You can't leave a child alone until they turn 12. They they magically become mature enough not only to watch themselves, but someone else as well. I don't think it's a good idea to have older kids watch over their younger siblings. If heaven forbid something should happen to the younger child, the older one would feel guilty about it. I don't think it's fair to put that kind of responsibility on the older child. I had it done to me and felt very resentful for it and took it out on my younger siblings in some awful ways. Lone - DD is an only child so no worries there. I just joke about it because I used to babysit very often starting at 12 (granted Mom was only a few blocks and a phonecall away) and the kids I watched were 7 and 9. My point is everyone is different (although at 10 I would say NO WAY am I leaving DD alone, others here apparently are much better at raising their kids than I am ).
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 23, 2013 12:18:12 GMT -5
My 5 yo and I got separated at a store. She wanted to browse a bit by herself, and couldn't find us after she was done browsing. So, she found a clerk and asked them to page me. I don't ever remember discussing what to do if we got separated. So, she either figured out how to do it on her own or they talked about what to do in 4K. (But, I'm pretty sure they didn't talk about it in 4K.) Anyway, I was impressed, considering she still can't get our house numbers/phone numbers straight. We talked about how she was afraid, but she didn't cry at all... I know not every family does scouting, but in Cubs, when DS was 8, we had to walk through what to do when you get in trouble. He even had to make a list of numbers to call. It's taped up next to the phone. So. I do think some kids have the maturity to act properly in a situation. Funny, my son has been in Cub/Boy Scouts for 7 years now, and he's had me paged in stores really young before as well. And, if you want to leave and unsupervised child in those situations and count on them to always know what to do and how to react, i guess that is your prerogative.
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2013 12:18:29 GMT -5
Wow, I wouldn't even consider it. Not so much because of their behaviour but for their ability to handle some kind of accident or injury. I have 12 stuck in my head as the minimum age to stay home alone for extended times.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 23, 2013 12:19:14 GMT -5
One of the ladies i work with leaves her 7 and 9 yr olds home alone while she works all day. Her husband is out of town on oil rigs. Sorry, i think that is absolutely ridiculous.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 23, 2013 12:20:29 GMT -5
Wow, I wouldn't even consider it. Not so much because of their behaviour but for their ability to handle some kind of accident or injury. I have 12 stuck in my head as the minimum age to stay home alone for extended times. Yes, and you don't know what might pop into their head and seem like a good idea. They might decide to play hide and seek in the refrigerator or whatever. You simply cannot predict what they might think seems like something fun or interesting to do.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 12:24:26 GMT -5
The biggest worry I would have here is I think thyme4change has a pool, am I right? We have a MAJOR rule in our house - no one in the water without an adult around, EVER! I would be a nervous wreck leaving an 8 and 10yo home in hot weather with unsupervised access to a pool. Fair to note that I live in the mostly frozen tundra (Chicago area) so the pool may be a bit more of an attraction than those that get more year-long use. Any yes, DD is a strong swimmer, but that's not the point.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:27:37 GMT -5
Often I have to encourage the kids to use the pool, so I would expect that they would not go in if I asked them not to. Although, if I was worried about it, I could put the net on. They wouldn't be able to get that off.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2013 12:36:28 GMT -5
Helicopter mom.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on May 23, 2013 12:40:38 GMT -5
I think it is too young, personally.
Do you have a YMCA around or something they could do half time? They have pretty reasonably $ summer programs and camps.
I would be worried about safety boredom accidents bad guys coming to the door
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2013 12:44:05 GMT -5
At that age I left them once in awhile for most of a day, calling every few hours. I'd probably do it a day here or there, but not weeks on end.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:47:16 GMT -5
They went to the Y a few years ago and HATED it. Last year we went somewhere else for those weeks, and they HATED that. The good camps they have signed up for, but we have a few missing weeks.
We do have a double dead-bolt on the front door and the side door, so when I leave I lock them in. It makes me a little nervous because that only leaves the two back doors as escape. But, they can't open the front doors for bad guys or friends, or people who say they know us.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 12:55:08 GMT -5
Obviously at the end of the day Thyme knows her kids better than we do.
I know someone who has a daughter who gets her 7 and 5 yo sibling up for school, makes everyones lunches, usually cooks and cleans up dinner, and does the laundry for the family.
The girl is 10. Her parents have a severly disabled 2.5yo that takes up all of the moms time and then some. When she comes over to play with DD (or spend the night) her parents hire a babysitter to help the mom out (I introduced them to their babysitter).
This girl is the same age as DD and I would have no problem leaving her alone with an 8yo for a few days (DD, not so much so).
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