Random Acts of Kindness-please post

[happyscooter]

Whatever you guys think, it was a nice gesture for my date to ask my classmate to dance.  None of her male classmates were going to do it, at least she could go home and tell her parents 'yes, she danced at her prom'.

[tloonya]

You have to be really **up if you can't dance with strangers...just an observation.

[Tennesseer]

[jinksd1]

I worked with someone a few years back.  After working with him for a few months, he pointed out that we used to work together at restaurant years before that, but I didn't remember him. 

I was 18 years old (freshman year of college) and a waitress, and he was 16 years old and a dishwasher.  I think it was his first job.  He told me that he always liked me because I was the only waitress who would say hello to him, didn't act like I was better than a lowly dishwasher, and would sometimes grab a full bus tub and bring it back to him when he was busy.  I honestly don't remember him, and I think I probably treated him like I treated every dishwasher there, but he remembered me years later.  His story really touched me, and it reminded me that simple courtesy and kindness is noticed maybe more than we think.  I know I've remembered when people were kind to me, probably long after they forgot it.

[steph08]

May 5, 2013 17:31:11 GMT -5 jinksd1 said:

His story really touched me, and it reminded me that simple courtesy and kindness is noticed maybe more than we think.  I know I've remembered when people were kind to me, probably long after they forgot it.

Very true. When I was a junior in high school, my grandmother died. She had been sick for a long time (Alzheimer's) so it wasn't a shock. I don't remember if any of my friends came to the viewing, but I don't think so.

But at the funeral, one of my frenemies came (we were friends but didn't like each other some of the time and fought for the top academic spots). I still remember that - she came to the funeral when none of my other friends did and she came out to lunch with us afterward, etc.

So last year when her grandmother died, I made sure that I attended the funeral even though we hadn't seen each other in a while and she lives in a different state now. But I remember how nice it made me feel that she came to my grandma's funeral, and I wanted to repay the favor. I don't know if she remembers coming to the funeral (her parents probably made her go ), but I have remembered that for over a decade.

[sesfw]

I remember kindnesses to me, and they made me feel like I'm not a bad toad after all.

It doesn't hurt you to be kind, and you just might make someone feel a lot better.

Do it because they are human or critter, not because it makes you feel superior.

[swamp]

Do it because they are human or critter, not because it makes you feel superior.

And after you do it, don't tell us all about it.  Just do it. Blabbing about it kind of defeats the point.

[hoops902]

::Whatever you guys think, it was a nice gesture for my date to ask my classmate to dance::

And whatever you think, it was freaking creepy for a 24 year old divorced guy to go to a high school prom.

[Virgil Showlion]

May 6, 2013 9:32:20 GMT -5 swamp said:

Do it because they are human or critter, not because it makes you feel superior.

And after you do it, don't tell us all about it.  Just do it. Blabbing about it kind of defeats the point.

There are times for silence and times for blabbing about it.

I tend to agree that blabbing detracts from charity, but there's also an instructional component. And sometimes it's just nice to read one person's reflections on doing good for another.

[Virgil Showlion]

May 6, 2013 9:41:27 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

::Whatever you guys think, it was a nice gesture for my date to ask my classmate to dance::

And whatever you think, it was freaking creepy for a 24 year old divorced guy to go to a high school prom.

Why?

Give us your reasoning.

[Tennesseer]

May 6, 2013 9:32:20 GMT -5 swamp said:

Do it because they are human or critter, not because it makes you feel superior.

And after you do it, don't tell us all about it.  Just do it. Blabbing about it kind of defeats the point.

I have posted this before on these boards but it's still a good quote:

"To those that give, may they never remember. To those that receive, may they never forget."

[swamp]

May 6, 2013 9:46:50 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

May 6, 2013 9:41:27 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

::Whatever you guys think, it was a nice gesture for my date to ask my classmate to dance::

And whatever you think, it was freaking creepy for a 24 year old divorced guy to go to a high school prom.

Why?

Give us your reasoning.

You don't think it's creepy for a 24 year old divorced guy to go to a HS prom?  Seriously?

The attendees are 17 or 18 years old.  There is a huge maturity difference between a 24 year old and a 17 year old.   Most 24 year olds aren't interested in HS functions, unless they are mentally 17 themselves.

[zibazinski]

You are talking a 24 year old guy here, not a 24 year old girl. I think the maturity level might have been about equal!

[zibazinski]

POM, you are gorgeous IRL. Even DF who wouldn't dance would dance with you. He just told me so! Slow dance though as he says guys like him fast dancing are public menaces.

[Virgil Showlion]

May 6, 2013 9:51:52 GMT -5 swamp said:

May 6, 2013 9:46:50 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Why?

Give us your reasoning.

You don't think it's creepy for a 24 year old divorced guy to go to a HS prom?  Seriously?

The attendees are 17 or 18 years old.  There is a huge maturity difference between a 24 year old and a 17 year old.   Most 24 year olds aren't interested in HS functions, unless they are mentally 17 themselves.

I think he's a guy who doesn't think 6 years is a big deal. And as Zib says, he may be 18 at heart.

Regarding his divorce, I'm guessing that he and his ex-wife rushed into marriage without a clue of what they were getting themselves into. It's a black mark on his judgment, but not "creepy" per se.

[swamp]

I don't care if he's divorced, people make mistakes.  I just think a 24 year old probably isn't interested in HS activities unless he's a little "off"

[Deleted]

May 3, 2013 21:03:01 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Introverts...outroverts...whatever...

I communicate to my friends with musics. tloonya

I must belong to lala land.  

[Phoenix84]

Can't think of anything off hand.  I've only been out of high school for about 10 years, and I've moved across the country, so I never run into my old high school or college classmates.  I never even went to prom.

I'm also surprised the OP's parents would let them go to prom with a guy that was "older and divorced" and that guy would even want to go?  How old are we talking here?

[hoops902]

::I think he's a guy who doesn't think 6 years is a big deal. And as Zib says, he may be 18 at heart.::

And that's precisely what makes it creepy.  He doesn't think 6 years from 24 to 18 is a big deal.

[kent]

"To those that give, may they never remember. To those that receive, may they never forget."

Love it!  Thanks Tenn

[hoops902]

May 6, 2013 12:43:37 GMT -5 @steve said:

May 6, 2013 10:44:09 GMT -5 swamp said:

I don't care if he's divorced, people make mistakes.  I just think a 24 year old probably isn't interested in HS activities unless he's a little "off"

Maybe he wasn't interested in the prom, but was interested in the 18 year old who wanted him to go with her to prom.

Or just in finding an easy to manipulate 18 year old, whoever it might be, who could give him what he wanted.

[mollyanna58]

The OP knows the guy, and she didn't think he was creepy. 

[swamp]

May 6, 2013 12:43:37 GMT -5 @steve said:

May 6, 2013 10:44:09 GMT -5 swamp said:

I don't care if he's divorced, people make mistakes.  I just think a 24 year old probably isn't interested in HS activities unless he's a little "off"

Maybe he wasn't interested in the prom, but was interested in the 18 year old who wanted him to go with her to prom.

and that is icky. 

[Deleted]

May 6, 2013 11:51:35 GMT -5 kent said:

"To those that give, may they never remember. To those that receive, may they never forget."

Love it!  Thanks Tenn

[thyme4change]

So - back to the OP - the letter never said, but was it a slow dance or a fast dance?

[Deleted]

[Virgil Showlion]

Even if he started dating an 18-year-old woman, an 18/24 matchup isn't far enough apart for it to be "creepy". It's at the boundary, but they're both young adults.

[swamp]

May 6, 2013 14:08:11 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Even if he started dating an 18-year-old woman, an 18/24 matchup isn't far enough apart for it to be "creepy". It's at the boundary, but they're both young adults.

I still think it's creepy when she's in HS. 

[thyme4change]

I was going through old pictures and found a school picture from a guy I don't remember being particularly close to.  We hung out, and what not - but not BFFs or anything.  The back of the picture said "Thanks for helping me through the hard times."  What on God's green earth is he talking about?  I don't remember anything specific happening to him, or really doing anything that would help.  I was more of a goof-around friend, not a "I need help working through problems" friend.  Ten bucks says if I pinged him on Facebook, he wouldn't have any idea what he was talking about.  

[Virgil Showlion]

May 6, 2013 14:08:57 GMT -5 swamp said:

May 6, 2013 14:08:11 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Even if he started dating an 18-year-old woman, an 18/24 matchup isn't far enough apart for it to be "creepy". It's at the boundary, but they're both young adults.

I still think it's creepy when she's in HS. 

I thought the whole point of a senior prom was to celebrate leaving highschool for the big wide world.

Do you see this fellow as a likely sexual predator? Or let me put it this way: Suppose this man meets an 18-year-old woman at the prom and they hit it off. They carry on a non-sexual relationship for three years (until she's 21 and he's 27) and then get married. Knowing this was the outcome, would you still consider his attending the prom "creepy"?

I'm interested if you, Hoops et al. consider this fellow creepy because the age/maturity difference is just inherently too great in your minds, or because you think he might abuse the younger women in some way.