toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Apr 4, 2013 20:54:56 GMT -5
What's with all the Dark bashing? Geez. It's done; he can't turn back the clock and probably wouldn't if he could. Unprofessional, childish and immature are just some of the nicer things some of y'all have said. Who gives a rat's rear? We all have a breaking point, and obviously, he'd reached his. Now that he's done, it would seem to me that support and encouragement would be far more welcome than finger-pointing and blaming, and the speculation about what he hasn't mentioned and whether he was fired or about to be is just plain mean spirited and hateful. For all of you who would never ever consider doing anything so wild and crazy because you're reasonable, responsible, mature and boring, don't be so damned smug. You don't know what might drive you over the edge. And in some of you, do we detect just a hint of envy that Dark believes in himself and has enough imagination to do just what you wish you could? JMO, but it took a heckuva lot of courage to leave. Dark, there's a better work life out there for you that will provide both personal satisfaction and the wherewithal to maintain your family in whatever kind of lifestyle suits all of you. I'm so glad for you that you got the hell out of Stepford. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/thumbsup.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2013 21:14:47 GMT -5
What's with all the Dark bashing? Geez. It's done; he can't turn back the clock and probably wouldn't if he could. Unprofessional, childish and immature are just some of the nicer things some of y'all have said. Who gives a rat's rear? We all have a breaking point, and obviously, he'd reached his. Now that he's done, it would seem to me that support and encouragement would be far more welcome than finger-pointing and blaming, and the speculation about what he hasn't mentioned and whether he was fired or about to be is just plain mean spirited and hateful. For all of you who would never ever consider doing anything so wild and crazy because you're reasonable, responsible, mature and boring, don't be so damned smug. You don't know what might drive you over the edge. And in some of you, do we detect just a hint of envy that Dark believes in himself and has enough imagination to do just what you wish you could? JMO, but it took a heckuva lot of courage to leave. Dark, there's a better work life out there for you that will provide both personal satisfaction and the wherewithal to maintain your family in whatever kind of lifestyle suits all of you. I'm so glad for you that you got the hell out of Stepford. Where do YOU get off judging the Dark bashers? Dark bashers are people too.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 4, 2013 21:16:37 GMT -5
TMR, I really liked your post. Encouragement always feels better than people throwing verbal stones.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2013 22:01:13 GMT -5
I'm really surprised by how nonchalant they both are about cutting their income to less that 40% of what it was. That is a BIG lifestyle adjustment.
I would not walk out of my job suddenly. I worked hard to get where I am, it did not come easy to me at all. Maybe that makes me appreciate it more. And I really enjoy my job. I guess I did quit jobs when I was younger but I paid for it. There was never a sense of freedom or release, I just went into a different set of stressors. Anyway, the end result is that I like and appreciate my job today.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2013 22:22:10 GMT -5
....Later, and let's hope Dark's end result is the same as yours.....a job he likes and appreciates..
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nittanycheme
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Post by nittanycheme on Apr 4, 2013 23:02:20 GMT -5
In my last job, I really dreamed about doing what Dark did. My job got extra crazy towards the end, and, for those of you who remember my thread about the non-compete/confidentiality that our company told us to either sign or get fired, about 5 people from my 40 person division decided to get fired. While the company that I worked for was bigger than the 40 people, our division was essentially run like a separate company. We were in startup mode for the entire time I was with the division - 9 years. For a long time, I was mildly to moderately unhappy at my job. Bored with what I did, annoyed regularly at the crazy hours that I had to work, irritated that with every new customer I had to explain what I was doing from the very basic level onwards (I did product development, and everytime I had to do this explanation, I had to balance confidentiality and what our clients wanted). I definitely wouldn't be a good teacher- I was ok with explaining for the first couple of customers, but after a while, I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. Mostly, I stayed because I really liked my boss and my co-workers. We had a great team - we all knew our responsibilities for new projects, and we could trust each other to do them. Then my co-workers quit, and the VP of our division hired a new guy to be my boss. I suddenly had a new job - with a new boss, who had no idea what I did and tried to give me more work to do. As I was already regularly working 12 to 14 hr days, I just said no. And, to be honest, I'm pretty easygoing (i.e., doormat sometimes), so for me to say no, it was a big deal for me. About this same time, I got a job offer, but it was contract and I said no. I also got a really big raise at my review. So, I stayed, and hated my job even more. It took me a while to figure out that my basic issue at that point was: I had a new job, with a new boss, new co-workers, new salesperson to deal with. I didn't ask for a new job, and now I had one with all the drawbacks of my old one, and none of the benefits. So, I found a real new job - the one that was offered to me was changed to full time, so I took it. But I can say, for probably a year, I came home to my DH and would ask if he would have an issue if I just quit one day. I am also the breadwinner in our house, but I actually worked on budgets for about 6 months to figure out if we could survive on his paycheck alone. When I turned in my notice, it felt great. Just to give you an idea of the craziness - they didn't escort me to the door, they begged me to stay an extra week, and I ran product development trials the entire 3 weeks - working 16 to 18 hours a day. My new job is like a vacation compared to my old one.
So, I have great admiration for what Dark did, although I may not have done it with a family, but being bored at your job (no matter what it pays), can really get to you after a while. Adding in the change in companies, with new expectations that probably aren't really clearly explained because you've already been doing the job, so your new boss doesn't really give you new directions because he thinks you are fine, but has different "hidden expectations" that you aren't meeting because he hasn't told you about them, because you already know how to do the job.... Yeah, that's just a evil loop to get stuck in. Good luck in whatever you decide to do Dark!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 5, 2013 0:42:46 GMT -5
I got a talking to for not responding to an email that was sent 30 minutes after I left for a surgical followup appointment. 3 hours before I even get to work the next morning my managers manager is sending him emails to have me put on a performance improvement plan. I'll take a talking too for my own fuckups. I was in the military for 6 years. I've been chewed out by scarier people than overweight middle aged middle manager types. I'm not going to put up with ticky tacky bullshit for other people's fuckups or a pissy middle manager that's had it in for me since I inadvertently made her look like a moron in front of the director.
She's a business school straight to middle management type with no technical background, which is fine, as long as you know when to shut up and let the technical folks under you answer questions or suggest ideas. It really was inadvertent, at the time I'd only spoken to her over the phone once and they'd just taken over the contract. The client asked for my opinion on an idea. I jokingly told him that's why they pay us the big bucks, to keep them from doing something that stupid. He started laughing his ass off and told me the idea came from the new company that had just taken over our contract. My direct supervisor at the time to be exact. The same one who's been playing stupid games ever since.
She "forgot" to approve my first timecard, so it hit HR a day too late to be processed and I had to wait two weeks to get paid. In addition to the normal one week lag on checks. No problem, I dealt with it. When I was hired I already had some vacation time planned for my older daughter's birthday. I told them that when they brought me on board, and was told by the same woman, no problem I could go in the hole on vacation time with supervisor's approval. I had the days in the group sharepoint calendar for a month. The time rolls around, and she denies my request to go in the hole on vacation time, and enters it as leave without pay instead. No problem, I dealt with it. It's been five months of stupid pointless bullshit like this.
And I should sit there and take more because?? Really, why? I owe them somehow? Employee loyalty? It's a bottom feeding company that comes in and undercuts decent companies on government contracts, then loses about half of them within a year or two for non performance. The client in this case has already expressed displeasure at two of the three principles on the contract (one of them the manager I've been butting heads with since November), and they're having a hard time staffing the thing because the reputation of the primary company is so shaky. Frankly they're lucky I didn't call a labor lawyer over the bullshit with my paychecks.
No, you're not even half as badass as I am.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 5, 2013 1:03:26 GMT -5
OMG, Dark! I don't blame you one bit! I'd have probably stomped on her foot (if I could have reached it) before I walked out the door! Like you, I have little tolerance for idiots and certainly don't suffer them gladly. I've walked more than once in the past and, if a situation got bad enough, I'd have done it again right up until the moment I had to retire. It never hurt me. In fact, I think I might have gained a little respect on a couple of occasions because I wouldn't be walked on.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Apr 5, 2013 1:54:46 GMT -5
I had no doubt how bad it must have been getting for you there because I know how long you worked there with the other company. Although it got boring for you it was tolerable until the new people took it over. Even your posting style had changed. And when you starting hanging at P&M I knew it was really bad! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) I'm kidding! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/angel.gif)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 5, 2013 2:00:18 GMT -5
I know I can deal with being bored at work. Been there for a while. I know I can deal with petty stupid bullshit at work, I was in the military for six years and Uncle Sam knows petty stupid bullshit, believe me. The combination of the two was too much. Life's too short to spend 40 hours a week looking busy while being shat on by your chain of command.
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Queen of Interesting Nuts
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Post by Queen of Interesting Nuts on Apr 5, 2013 2:53:36 GMT -5
Hypocrisy at it's finest there MMC, oh the joy.
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Queen of Interesting Nuts
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Post by Queen of Interesting Nuts on Apr 5, 2013 2:57:30 GMT -5
You can explain all you want and I have heard it all before but the mature thing to have done is given two weekw notice like a big boy. All this looks like to me is childish and bratty behaviour.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 5, 2013 3:16:14 GMT -5
Luckily we don't share blood or a bed, so I don't have to give a fuck what you think.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 5, 2013 3:28:42 GMT -5
The whole idea of giving two weeks notice is so your employer could replace you with less hassle. Really, why is it more mature for me to tell them I'm quitting, sit there not doing a damn thing for two weeks, but still getting paid for showing up, then leaving? What's inherently more mature about that than telling them you're leaving and doing it immediately? My team has my cell number and knows they can call if they need something. There's not much going on right now anyway. I didn't leave a pile of work behind for somebody else to do.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 3:29:12 GMT -5
I think it is funny that someone who constantly deletes her account, takes her ball and goes home when things don't go her way, has the nerve to judge someone as bratty and childish.
Good Luck Dark. I know you have not been happy for a long time at that job. I have total faith that you, Loop, and the kids will be fine.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Apr 5, 2013 7:17:32 GMT -5
TMR, I really liked your post. Encouragement always feels better than people throwing verbal stones. Thanks Optimist! I agree. I don't care who you are, getting bashed never feels good. Funny, I know people that bash in an effort to make themselves look and feel better. Unfortunately I don't think that's what happens. Not really. Have a great weekend! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/peace.gif)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 7:32:47 GMT -5
The whole idea of giving two weeks notice is so your employer could replace you with less hassle. Really, why is it more mature for me to tell them I'm quitting, sit there not doing a damn thing for two weeks, but still getting paid for showing up, then leaving? What's inherently more mature about that than telling them you're leaving and doing it immediately? My team has my cell number and knows they can call if they need something. There's not much going on right now anyway. I didn't leave a pile of work behind for somebody else to do. I agree with this, when they fire people, they don't give the people being fired 2 weeks notice
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 5, 2013 7:38:52 GMT -5
I also find it amusing that some people see it as childish mainly because the nature of Dark's job is such that it is probably common for the offer of two weeks notice to be rejected and the worker escorted out the door that day. If you think about it logically this is someone quitting your company because they really dislike it with super-user and administrator access to all the computers on a government contract.
Might as well leave on your own terms since the bridges aren't worth saving. If he stayed imagine how fun it would be to have the passwords all changed and be limited to mucking with documentation which is probably complete since it is a long running contract.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 7:49:37 GMT -5
Then they give 2 weeks pay. Same differance.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 8:15:14 GMT -5
Going on a PIP soon, you were done anyway, but it sounds like most of the things were ticky tack and at least unemployment payments would have been obtainable if you stuck around for the firing. So bravo for the moral victory, but what a financial mindf*ck.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Apr 5, 2013 8:23:09 GMT -5
Going on a PIP soon, you were done anyway, but it sounds like most of the things were ticky tack and at least unemployment payments would have been obtainable if you stuck around for the firing. So bravo for the moral victory, but what a financial mindf*ck. MMC - he lives in CA, remember? He can likely still file for unemployement and claim (rightfully so I believe in this case) a hostile work environment ESPECIALLY since he did let his supervisor know he was going for a medical appt.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 8:31:47 GMT -5
DarkHonor, I hope you find something that makes you money and also makes you happy. Good luck!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 5, 2013 8:32:33 GMT -5
Some people do recover from a PIP. Sticking around and trying to get fired really is only valuable if you need the money *AND* it won't hurt your future employment prospects to be fired.
Even dealing with a known bottom feeder company being fired would not be a choice I would make if I had Dark's financial resources. You look for non-government employment or investors and you now have a delicate PR problem.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 8:33:39 GMT -5
Yeah, it sounds like your direct manager had it in for you, Dark. I wonder if she was made aware of your response to your client, of her 'stupid idea?'
Ahhh, well it's all water under the bridge now....on to bigger and better things for the Honor family. I think you'll find something much better suited for you, anyway...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 8:38:00 GMT -5
Hi, I'm new here. My wife has been a SAHM for the past 12 years or so, but just got a temp job. I make a six figure salary and carry the benefits to support my two children. But today I just quit my job because I get bored at work. We're only $1k in the hole each month, and I can always use my 401k. I'm not even going to look for another job, I'm just going to find some business plan and work for myself. can I get a high five and a round of congrats, because its all going to work out for the best? that seemed kind of mean....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 8:38:01 GMT -5
"God never gives you anything you can't handle. IMO it's not that people can't handle it, if they want to. It is that they choose not to continue to. " I do agree with this but only up to a certain point. Some people say that about having kids. Well if you keep having unprotected sex, yes God will possibly give you more than you can handle (of course, taxpayers may handle the expenses for the kids-that's a different story). I am more of a "you get what you put in" kind of person. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Apr 5, 2013 8:42:51 GMT -5
Then they give 2 weeks pay. Same differance. Since when? I have never heard of someone getting two weeks pay for being fired. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif)
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 8:58:55 GMT -5
I got a talking to for not responding to an email that was sent 30 minutes after I left for a surgical followup appointment.
Silly Dark, don't you know most hospitals have Wifi? There is no excuse to be out of contact nowadays! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) My BIL up and quit his job yesterday with no notice. He already has a side business running a mowing company. DH thinks with the debt/expenses he has BIL has just traded one stressor for another. If he enjoys it maybe he can make it work being his own boss full time. His wife has a stable job though I am betting she carries the benefits, so that helps. That would be my worry about up and quitting. I'd want to make sure my spouse has the ability to carry our benefits and his job is relatively secure. I've seen the COBRA package just for a single employee here, yeah no way we could family. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif)
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 5, 2013 9:05:45 GMT -5
I can cheerfully admit I'm a bit jealous of Dark just up and quitting. I couldn't do that without a new job lined up. I need a safety net of sorts. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png) But I did tell my husband that if he needed to up and quit, we'd manage. He was stressed to the max, doing a job he loathed 99.8% of. And we could have swung things on my salary, barely, at that point. My H did tell me that it was a great relief to know that I had his back, that he had an option. He didn't use it but it really helped him at the time.
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Apr 5, 2013 9:08:51 GMT -5
I know the job situation sucked. It's sucked for years. A lot of people have suggested going back to school, getting another job, working one of your business ideas in your spare time. You've been unhappy and miserable for YEARS and had plenty of time to come up with an exit plan. But you didn't come up with an exit plan, you just waited until you were going to be fired. I can't help wondering if this is in someway timed with Loop getting a job for the first time in a long time. Like you're sick of sucking it up but rather than trying to actually make your situation better you're just going to take your ball and go home.
And yes, I know I'm mean but this is an anonymous message board. ...and maybe I'm a little touchy that the last time I posted about scaling down from full-time to part time (and I only contribute 1/3 of our household income) everyone said don't do it, but somehow it's just unicorn and rainbows for you. People are right that you get different advice depending on who you are. Doxie does something dumb and people rip on her for making a dumb move - you do something dumb and people are congratulating you.
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