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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 20:16:59 GMT -5
No, jealous really isn't the word that came to mind.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 2, 2013 20:26:26 GMT -5
While it doesn't appear to be the most professional way to leave a job, I don't think it really equates to a kid on the floor kicking and screaming - which I consider to be a temper tantrum. I think we all have our ideas as to what is the right thing to do and how we feel about things we disagree with.
I quoted that last sentence because I disagree with what you said. I think you would only be willing to live a life like that if you were financially independent. I think its why you see this as childish. I think, but do not know, that you believe an adult would never or should never do anything like this unless they are financially independent. It does seem Dark is well-funded enough to hang in for awhile so it may work out well for him.
I think he did better than one former co-worker who emailed her resignation notice effective immediately right before she walked out the door at the end of the day on Thursday. Didn't say a word when a couple of us said 'Goodnight and see you tomorrow.' At least he was upfront about it and not a coward.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 20:35:27 GMT -5
Well assuming that you're not an unresponsible person, I can only guess that that place had become soooo toxic for you that it was just impossible to endure it any longer...you had just had it, period end of story.....simply means you're not supposed to do it anymore. You have $$$ at your disposal, that's a good thing. Take some time and get yourself out in nature I guarantee you it will help clear your emotions, and mind and make you feel better and more alive than you've probably felt in a long time Some good ole' Sunshine, nature, (sand, sea, mountains, trails, trees, chirping birds...) and stars! Don't forget the stars and galaxy gazing on a clear deep night. Don't laugh....it works and is amazing! Take advantage of this time and take it for yourself...decompress, slow everything down for a couple weeks and just BE...
Better things are coming your way, be well rested for them (mind, body, soul) so you will sieze the day!
Best of Luck.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 2, 2013 20:38:32 GMT -5
<Beth is thinking that Iggy's avatar is surprisingly appropriate for this thread. But that's because I don't have the guts to jump without a safety net.> If the sole breadwinner in my house jumped without a safety net, he's be the missing breadwinner. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/angry.png) Dark, I hope it all works out wonderfully for you, but if I were Loop, you'd be shark food by now. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif) Which is why I would never live in a household with only one breadwinner...the stress of this would push me over the edge
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 20:38:49 GMT -5
Lighter note: I quit a job after 3 days once. It was in a bank. I spent the third day basically tutoring a couple of other employees (including the temp I was replacing) for their college English class. It reminded me that I really am not that good with numbers (I never use the NumLock key, preferring to use the keys for editing and not numbers), but I am a good teacher. It would have been overkill to have given two weeks notice when I had worked only three days. Rather ironically, I got back the teaching job I left after two replacements didn't want it. It wasn't the kids; it was the truly tragic pay. The principal didn't hold it against me at all.
I think we all dream of telling the boss of "shoving" it, which was why I told Dark that he had my semi-admiration. But part of being an adult is to recognize that you really can't do it.
That's sort of like understanding that as an adult your goal really can't be to be a famous actress or write the great American novel or create an alternative to Facebook or whatever. You can only really do that when you are young and arrogant. That is what empowered Dark.
Does that make him right and you wrong, Lena? Absolutely not. Mmmm is trying to tell you that makes him Dark and you Lena.
I wouldn't be able to work with Dark as a son-in-law by the way. Loop would have help disposing of the body without anyone finding it. But that doesn't mean I don't "semi-admire" DH.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 2, 2013 20:40:18 GMT -5
As I said, sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Peoples' circumstances differ. While we may know the surface of a situation involving another person, all we see is the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. We don't know what's underlying a given event. Often, it's much more profound than we might think. The only person who can know, and make the right decision, is the person faced with that decision. Nobody else can make it for them. I'm hoping to see this as a positive, life-changing event for Dark, Loopy, and their family. At this point, I can't think of one reason why that cannot be the case.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 20:42:30 GMT -5
Are we really gonna berate a fellow YMer who just found himself unemployed? Really? Doesn't matter that he walked, was fired, or laid off.............he's unemployed, period. To sit here and call him out and actually call him unprofessional, yada, yada........isn't HELPING HIM. Geez, talk about kickin' someone when they're down. I'm sure he's runnin' enough scripts thru his big brain. Enough with the name calling....
Dark has more money saved than alot of people who find themselves in this predicament. He will survive. Whether he has to tap into his retirement accts., etc. is irrevelent at this point. It's not the end of the world. Hell, we lost 100k in the stock market in the last 20 yrs.....
Dark, don't listen to the bad crap.....you'll be fine. Take a breather. Come back stronger.
End of story.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Apr 2, 2013 20:44:46 GMT -5
I am not saying that he shouldn't have quit his job. I am not even saying that he HAD to give 2 wks notice. All I am saying is that the way he did it (the way I read OP) is EXACTLY the defintion of tempter tantrum - That's one definition that I found: Are you really going to compare marriage proposal to that? You said that it was a tantrum based on it being based on emotions. I merely pointed out that many things in life can be sudden decisions based on emotion. If thats a 'tantrum'' by definition, Where was Dark's unpleasant emotional outburst? Making a decision based on feelings is not the same as an 'emotional outburst'. It would equate to a temper tantrum being a kid saying, "mom, I'm not happy in this family and I think only this toy will solve the problem.". I don't call that a tantrum, although it would be unpleasant and based on feelings.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 2, 2013 20:48:06 GMT -5
I have a very stressful career and most days I dream of saying "fuck you" and walking out. I won't, of course, because I don't have the balls to not have a job or income....for that, I really admire Dark's balls...of course, I'm saying that as someone who is not dependent on his income!
I really do wish you the best of luck...hopefully you will find something that will make you happy
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Apr 2, 2013 20:53:22 GMT -5
I really admire Dark's balls...of course, I'm saying that as someone who is not dependent on his income! I really do wish you the best of luck...hopefully you will find something that will make you happy Yeah that!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 2, 2013 20:58:40 GMT -5
Deleted, because I'm tired.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Apr 2, 2013 21:16:42 GMT -5
Namaste Dark, Good Luck to you. You will find your niche. I wish you all the best.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Apr 2, 2013 21:30:06 GMT -5
No, jealous really isn't the word that came to mind. LOL!! I guess when a company fires or lays somebody off they too are having a temper tantrum. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) Dark - Holy Shit!! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif) But I've done it before and it was the only way I could move on - by doing something drastic like that. When I tried to be "adult" about it I lingered and lingered in a miserable state. Getting pissed off or bored silly to the point of walking away worked for me and I still got great references. Good luck that you find something soon and that will make you happier. Life is too short to be that miserable and you can still use the previous company for your reference - if you don't want to use this one. I hope.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 21:33:13 GMT -5
I agree with Lena that it was very unprofessional. Walking out because you didnt like the email sent out is very unprofessional and even childish.
Everybody seems to think it is a great idea but i wonder if anybody would think that if it was doxie that just quit.If it was just dark and loop it would be a different story but there are 2 kids in the picture. I hope you figure out what you want to be soon because you are all over the place with business ideas. The savings you have can be wiped out with one wrong choice. And do you think you will easily find a job that can replace your salary if you need to? I know you dont think you need a degree but it is probably a different job market now than when you got that job.
Good luck to you and your family. I hope this turns out to be the best decision you have ever made.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Apr 2, 2013 21:33:37 GMT -5
Are we really gonna berate a fellow YMer who just found himself unemployed? Really? Doesn't matter that he walked, was fired, or laid off.............he's unemployed, period. To sit here and call him out and actually call him unprofessional, yada, yada........isn't HELPING HIM. Geez, talk about kickin' someone when they're down. I'm sure he's runnin' enough scripts thru his big brain. Enough with the name calling.... Dark has more money saved than alot of people who find themselves in this predicament. He will survive. Whether he has to tap into his retirement accts., etc. is irrevelent at this point. It's not the end of the world. Hell, we lost 100k in the stock market in the last 20 yrs..... Dark, don't listen to the bad crap.....you'll be fine. Take a breather. Come back stronger. End of story. Well, technically, he didn't find himself unemployed. He made himself unemployed. Good luck, Dark. Sleep with one eye opened!
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Apr 2, 2013 21:35:15 GMT -5
Best wishes, Dark! I think all of us, at one time or another, have worked at a job that changed so much while we were there, that it no longer resembled what we were hired to do. Throw in a boss that is less than reasonable, & that IS a good excuse to find something else.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 21:43:26 GMT -5
He doesn't have to replace his income. He and loop together have to come up with their minimally necessary income. It's doable any number of ways, and they also have assets to access if necessary.
I haven't quit like this, but I was only 3 weeks into my 6 weeks notice (school teaching is diferrent) and they didn't seem interested in replacing me one day sooner... I just could not take it anymore, I told the principle and that was my last day. I also quit a long term freelancing relationship similarly. I was given a lengthy rewrite I felt was due to their error not mine, I said ok, I'm doing the rewrite and existing assignments, but I won't be taking more. Now technically I always had that right as a contract and not an employee, but it was abrupt. I'm both cases it just want worth it anymore...
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 2, 2013 21:43:40 GMT -5
Best of luck, Dark. Sometimes you do what you have to do to save your sanity. Sounds like you had reached that point.
From what you described, I could not have worked under the circumstances with people on the east coast being on your case about not responding to an email sent while someone in the west coast wasn't even up and in the office yet.
Figure out your next steps and go for it.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 2, 2013 21:46:25 GMT -5
LOL! I wish it was that easy. I called my supervisor and let him know that I was resigning. I told him I'd stay as long as it took for me to completely out-process, and I would have stayed if there was a big project or something going on. I left during a lull when there's not much going on, and I didn't leave a pile of work behind for anybody. In a classified environment that's not nearly the same as walking from a normal job. You have to have a security debriefing, all government equipment on my hand receipt had to be turned over, etc., etc. I worked for a private company on a full time contract with one government agency, but my work location was some space they leased from another agency, so I had two out-processing checklists from two different DoD agencies, and my corporate stuff. All told it took 5 hours yesterday to get all the i's dotted and t's crossed. Maybe it was still a tantrum.. I don't know.. but it took a lot longer than saying fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out. That was totally running through my head yesterday morning though. My list of fuck you's would have been a little longer though.... ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/shucks2.png)
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deantrip
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Post by deantrip on Apr 2, 2013 22:07:08 GMT -5
When I walked out of one of my job's, it was one of the best days of my life. It depends on the person, I did it politely, told my immediate supervisor that I didn't want to do the job anymore, filled out the paperwork and left, in a lot of cases, an employer doesn't want an employee there who isn't motivated to do their best work. I worked in a position that had a lot of redundancy, so the workload for my fellow employees didn't really change at all either.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Apr 2, 2013 22:15:54 GMT -5
Eh, we all know Dark's been unhappy and dissatisfied with his work situation for a while now. I don't think leaving without an exit strategy was a particularly good idea, but leaving that job was something he'd been thinking about for a while and knew he wanted to do.
Good luck with the job hunt, Dark.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Apr 2, 2013 22:23:28 GMT -5
For those who are wondering...
Yes, my husband is a moron; No, I will not be murdering him.
My income is enough that his income (wherever it comes from) will not have to be too large to cover our living expenses. We'll have to live tighter than we're accustomed, but that's life. We have at least two months of living expenses covered as long as my interim position becomes permanent; even if it does not become permanent, I now have some very marketable skills to find a new position. This gives him a couple of months to decide what he wants to do with himself. We chose this house in this town due to the fact that we could still cover costs with a vastly reduced income. My optimal minimum is 44k a year between the two of us, I'm currently bringing in half of that. It's all about perspective.
Panicking would be a complete waste of time and energy, so why bother?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 2, 2013 22:24:08 GMT -5
LOL! I wish it was that easy. I called my supervisor and let him know that I was resigning. I told him I'd stay as long as it took for me to completely out-process, and I would have stayed if there was a big project or something going on. I left during a lull when there's not much going on, and I didn't leave a pile of work behind for anybody. In a classified environment that's not nearly the same as walking from a normal job. You have to have a security debriefing, all government equipment on my hand receipt had to be turned over, etc., etc. I worked for a private company on a full time contract with one government agency, but my work location was some space they leased from another agency, so I had two out-processing checklists from two different DoD agencies, and my corporate stuff. All told it took 5 hours yesterday to get all the i's dotted and t's crossed. Maybe it was still a tantrum.. I don't know.. but it took a lot longer than saying fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out. That was totally running through my head yesterday morning though. My list of fuck you's would have been a little longer though.... ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/shucks2.png) Nope, I take it back. My whole point was that unlike children, adults should be able to handle situation, especially a work situation with some control over their emotions and it seems that you did exactly that. Talking to your boss was the right thing to do. Sending him an email on the way out (which what I thought you did based on OP) would have been childish and unprofessional. So, my assumption was wrong and I am sorry. In any case, I hope you can look back at this 5 yrs from now and smile thinking that it was the best thing you ever did ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 2, 2013 22:28:10 GMT -5
For those who are wondering... Yes, my husband is a moron; No, I will not be murdering him. My income is enough that his income (wherever it comes from) will not have to be too large to cover our living expenses. We'll have to live tighter than we're accustomed, but that's life. We have at least two months of living expenses covered as long as my interim position becomes permanent; even if it does not become permanent, I now have some very marketable skills to find a new position. This gives him a couple of months to decide what he wants to do with himself. We chose this house in this town due to the fact that we could still cover costs with a vastly reduced income. My optimal minimum is 44k a year between the two of us, I'm currently bringing in half of that. It's all about perspective. Panicking would be a complete waste of time and energy, so why bother? See, this is how adult handles things ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) Good for you!!!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 22:45:00 GMT -5
Oh wow! Hope you find something good! And soon. Soon and good.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 2, 2013 23:16:12 GMT -5
I don't think I'm going to look for a job. I had one, by most measures a pretty good one, i.e. normal hours, no overtime, didn't have to take work home with me or be on call, paid better than average, and I was completely unhappy. Dark 2.0 is done working for other people. He has no idea what the hell he's going to do with himself, but he's doing it for himself. Oh, and he talks in the third person. He always wanted to do that, so why not start now?
By the way, if anybody is looking for a low six figure IT job in Monterey PM me and I'll send you the name of the company about to be hiring for my old position. Probably shouldn't tell them I sent you though.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 2, 2013 23:27:43 GMT -5
I don't think I'm going to look for a job. I had one, by most measures a pretty good one, i.e. normal hours, no overtime, didn't have to take work home with me or be on call, paid better than average, and I was completely unhappy. Dark 2.0 is done working for other people. He has no idea what the hell he's going to do with himself, but he's doing it for himself. Oh, and he talks in the third person. He always wanted to do that, so why not start now? By the way, if anybody is looking for a low six figure IT job in Monterey PM me and I'll send you the name of the company about to be hiring for my old position. Probably shouldn't tell them I sent you though. Oh lordy, you hear that? Those are the sounds of Paul being proud of converting at least one YMer. I am sure he will take you under his wing into his blooming RE business and marketing business and all other businesses. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Apr 2, 2013 23:40:13 GMT -5
This has been quite interesting thread.
Dark, I've not been in dire enough straits to consider quitting abrubtly. I hope you figure out and find what you need for income purposes.
Loop, you're reaction is quite impressive and IMO shows the strength of your marriage.
Good luck to you both!
~Chloe
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2013 0:03:32 GMT -5
Quitting because you are fed up is similar to a tempter tantrum...they do look the same. Quitting without giving the appropriate notice is disrespectful to your employer, but there's nothing inherently petulant about quitting. Whether you blame Dark or his employer depends on how much you trust Dark. He claims his company was poorly managed and never kept him supplied with decent work. His employers (I'm just guessing) would deny that claim. Even in my lifetime, I've seen both cases. Actually I don't blame Dark, life happens and I am sure he will come out of this a better man. Change is good.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Apr 3, 2013 1:05:21 GMT -5
I can say this for Dark....He has beaten what was his likely/predicted outcome at every step of the journey so far.
Coming from poverty, having kids young, no college degree, not working overtime and ending up making 6 figures is an unlikely outcome.
Given what he has done so far, I have little doubt that his outcome will be positive. I also have little doubt that it will be a straight line (particularly if Dark 2.0 sticks around). It will be interesting to see how your story and views develop, Dark. We all seem to agree on one thing, we want the best for you and yours.
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