shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 5, 2013 13:09:32 GMT -5
Different advice for different posters is one thing. I think we can all agree that two people in the same situation may need very different advice, depending on other factors at play. My issue is with the attempted censorship of any opinions that aren't considered "nice" when the poster in question is well-liked, versus dead silence when a poster who isn't as well-liked (or doesn't have 20K posts to their name) is being berated by the group. This isn't the only thread on which it's happened lately - not even the only one this week. That's all I have to say on the subject. I know many of you disagree with me, or think I'm a bitch, and that's entirely your right. I just get tired of the cliquey attitudes here, and I think it has a lot to do with why our community continues to shrink. I do wish Dark the best of luck, and I'm sure he'll come out on top. (ETA - Shane, I know I quoted you but I wasn't directing my comments at you - promise. Just a general observation to the YM community.) I see your point, Mid. And I agree with you. I don't see a lot of what you're talking about because I do a lot of self censure- I don't read all the threads, only ones that seem like they might interest me or that I might be able to contribute something worth while on, or when I know and like the OP. In general, I try to avoid being mean to anyone, though there have been one or two occasions where it seemed like a little meanness was all the poster was going to respond to, so I've gotten a bit more forceful.
And I will say, if you ever think I'm being a hypocrite, call me on it. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/cool.png)
Oh, and I have no issues with people being mean to Dark. He can handle it. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Apr 5, 2013 13:13:53 GMT -5
Since when? I have never heard of someone getting two weeks pay for being fired. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) Since forever (or the labour movement got it passed). 2 weeks in lieu of notice. In a lot of cases they have to give a severance package unless they want to make an issue of firing with cause which opens a whole can of worms most companies don't want to deal with. But you have to remember that Later is in Canada. The places, I've worked (in Indiana) have always had something in the handbook that says there is no severence if you are fired for cause. That of course, doesn't mean that the company can't choose to come up with some excuse to let you go and give you severence rather than say that you were fired for cause. I don't know which model California follows.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:29:13 GMT -5
Different advice for different posters is one thing. I think we can all agree that two people in the same situation may need very different advice, depending on other factors at play. My issue is with the attempted censorship of any opinions that aren't considered "nice" when the poster in question is well-liked, versus dead silence when a poster who isn't as well-liked (or doesn't have 20K posts to their name) is being berated by the group. This isn't the only thread on which it's happened lately - not even the only one this week. That's all I have to say on the subject. I know many of you disagree with me, or think I'm a bitch, and that's entirely your right. I just get tired of the cliquey attitudes here, and I think it has a lot to do with why our community continues to shrink. I do wish Dark the best of luck, and I'm sure he'll come out on top. (ETA - Shane, I know I quoted you but I wasn't directing my comments at you - promise. Just a general observation to the YM community.) I see your point. While it's hard for me to keep my personal biases towards certain people out of it, I will take what you said into consideration when I post in the future. Even though we don't really know each other IRL I guess it wouldn't kill us to be a little less mean to one another. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:41:42 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:43:17 GMT -5
Doxie never leaves. She's always around....lurking in the shadows....waiting for the next opportunity to strike..... ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tinfoil.gif)
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 5, 2013 13:43:18 GMT -5
I remember wishing I would get in a car accident so I wouldn't have to go to work that day. And maybe be hurt, just a little, so I could take a few days off - maybe even a whole week.[/span]
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:49:47 GMT -5
"And I certainly don't remember anyone telling Carl he would be a bad parent - just questioning his decision/desire to have kids." When you tell someone your kid will not be a priority in your life if you buy a certain house (just based on commute alone), then that is no different than telling him he will be a bad parent. "I remember wishing I would get in a car accident so I wouldn't have to go to work that day. And maybe be hurt, just a little, so I could take a few days off - maybe even a whole week" If you get to that point, it means the time to start looking for a new job was 6-12 months ago
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 5, 2013 13:52:43 GMT -5
I know. It was a rough market, and I felt like I needed 2 years in the job, at least, so I wouldn't look like a job-hopper.
Looking back, I would have handled a lot in my career differently. And 20 years from now, I might look back and wish I had done something different in 2013. But alas, it is what it is.[/span]
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 13:55:32 GMT -5
I quit waiting tables when I caught myself thinking it would be worth it to chuck a ketcup bottle at the back of a customer's head. It was plastic but it was also a brand new bottle, it would have made a decent impact. I was standing there in the hall with it in my hand. I don't think anyone would have stopped me either that bitch was crazy. Still kinda think it would have been worth it, but it was better for my sanity and criminal record to just quit rather than assult someone. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:56:43 GMT -5
"I quit waiting tables when I caught myself thinking it would be worth it to chuck a ketcup bottle at the back of a customer's head. It was plastic but it was also a brand new bottle, it would have made a decent impact." ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif)
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 5, 2013 14:09:31 GMT -5
I guess that's a matter of opinion, then. I'm currently pregnant and have a 2-hour daily commute (which I don't plan to change after giving birth) and I didn't take offense at the comment. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) And I think it had been clarified that there is a difference between your KID being a priority and TIME with your kid being a priority. If someone works 2 jobs or only sees their kid on weekends because that's what they need to do to keep a roof over the kid's head and food in her belly, that certainly doesn't mean the kid isn't their priority. Rather, the opposite. But anyway, that's another thread... Shane and Jenny, thanks for your thoughtful comments. I have trouble keeping the snark contained when it comes to some people, and am reluctant to give "tough love" to others, so I'm certainly not exempt from my own complaints.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 14:11:23 GMT -5
I'm currently pregnant Congratulations!! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/party.gif) Feel free to drive by post on WIR anytime you have a question/complaint. All that worrying for nothing. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Apr 5, 2013 14:12:24 GMT -5
Mid - Congratulations on the pregnancy (I must have missed it, if you announced it elsewhere).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:14:27 GMT -5
Wait! What??!? CONGRATULATIONS Mid!!!! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/banana.gif)
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 14:15:29 GMT -5
If someone works 2 jobs or only sees their kid on weekends because that's what they need to do to keep a roof over the kid's head and food in her belly, that certainly doesn't mean the kid isn't their priority. Rather, the opposite.
![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/yeahthat.gif)
I also think there is doing what you have to do and then making things 20 times harder on yourseff because you want all this stuff right now and will fit the kid in where you can because "it'll work itself out". People have done it, but why do it if you don't have to? We feel that way about a second. Yeah we "made it work" with kid #1 but I've decided I don't WANT to "make it work" with a second even though I know we could. The stress wasn't worth it. If we have another one I don't want to have to spend so much time fitting round pegs into square holes.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 5, 2013 14:16:17 GMT -5
Thanks! I know, I'm a dumbass I've also spent the last week obsessing over how I was going to break it to my boss - finally did that this afternoon and it went fine. I feel so light and free ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) And now that I've thoroughly hijacked poor Dark's thread, back to work I go.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:17:01 GMT -5
I guess that's a matter of opinion, then. I'm currently pregnant I basically stopped reading after this. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! CONGRATS, LADY!!!! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/party.gif)
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 5, 2013 14:17:46 GMT -5
Congrats mid!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:19:04 GMT -5
If someone works 2 jobs or only sees their kid on weekends because that's what they need to do to keep a roof over the kid's head and food in her belly, that certainly doesn't mean the kid isn't their priority. Rather, the opposite.
![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/yeahthat.gif)
I also think there is doing what you have to do and then making things 20 times harder on yourseff because you want all this stuff right now and will fit the kid in where you can because "it'll work itself out". People have done it, but why do it if you don't have to? We feel that way about a second. Yeah we "made it work" with kid #1 but I've decided I don't WANT to "make it work" with a second even though I know we could. The stress wasn't worth it. If we have another one I don't want to have to spend so much time fitting round pegs into square holes. is it finances or just finding a way to make the time for two?
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Apr 5, 2013 14:20:34 GMT -5
We need to get Dark to change the title of the thread. Something simple like :
MID IS PREGNANT!!!!!
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 5, 2013 14:21:49 GMT -5
Hahaha! Now I feel bad. I really didn't want to hijack. (Sorry, Dark! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/melancholy.png) ) But thank you all. For as long as I was "meh" about kids, I'm very excited.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 14:28:18 GMT -5
is it finances or just finding a way to make the time for two
To be frank I don't really want two kids, but I am not opposed since DH kinda does.
But yeah part of it is finanical. The other part is I'd really like at least one of us, preferably both, to start making career plans/decisions that were not palatible/feasible with a newborn but are now feasible with a toddler.
Then juggling everything we had to juggle. I'm not super eager to do round 2.
We both recognize having a kid and having one when we did means other things had to take a backseat. Now that we're approaching a spot where we can start moving those things to the front I'm not super interested in going backwards again.
I don't want kids that badly. I'm not in a rush to have #2 because other things are more important to me right now.
If #2 was really important me yeah I'd "make it work" but it's not so why put myself thru that phase again just because I feel like I have to meet all these goals before I'm 30?
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Apr 5, 2013 14:34:36 GMT -5
Since when? I have never heard of someone getting two weeks pay for being fired. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) Since forever (or the labour movement got it passed). 2 weeks in lieu of notice. In a lot of cases they have to give a severance package unless they want to make an issue of firing with cause which opens a whole can of worms most companies don't want to deal with. There is no such law here. Maybe it is a Canadian thing, but here they can say don't come back, and don't need any reason what so ever, let alone have to pay you. I have heard of companies that choose to give severance if they terminated someone who didn't do anything really bad just ran out of work type of thing, but they certainly didn't have to.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:37:07 GMT -5
So who's the baby daddy? <<hopes its not me>> ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Apr 5, 2013 14:41:34 GMT -5
I guess that's a matter of opinion, then. I'm currently pregnant I basically stopped reading after this. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! CONGRATS, LADY!!!! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/party.gif) I posted from the prev page and this is the first thing I saw. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif) Congrats!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 5, 2013 14:42:25 GMT -5
Congratulations, Mid!!!!!! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/banana.gif) I'm very excited for you. You're going to be a GREAT MOM!!!! Ate you kidding me? She commutes an hour each way and isn't going to be a SAHM. Ill bet she is going to supplementbwith formula, use disposable diapers and sent the kid to public school.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 14:43:13 GMT -5
She commutes an hour each way and isn't going to be a SAHM. Ill bet she is going to supplementbwith formula, use disposable diapers and sent the kid to public school
Or worse. .. boarding school! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/bravado.gif)
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 5, 2013 14:47:27 GMT -5
Do they have boarding schools for infants, or is that just called an orphanage? ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) Thanks, Beach and Wrongside!
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 5, 2013 14:48:30 GMT -5
Yay mid! Congrats!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:49:19 GMT -5
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I forget, do you have any other kids?
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