Married folks - Do you have your "own" car?

[Deleted]

Meaning one that only you use and spouse has to ask if he/she wants to take it?

[Deleted]

Yes

[milee]

Kind of. I never really thought of it that way, but it became painfully obvious that DH does.

I always thought it made sense to have one larger car to haul stuff when needed and one smaller car that got good gas mileage. But over time, when I'd try to switch the vehicles we normally drove, DH got really pissy about it. So he obviously likes to have his own car that nobody else drives. OK, I guess, but wish he had used his words to explain that instead of just being nasty whenever I tried to talk to him about switching.

Anyway, that's how we both ended up with SUVs. Which is ridiculous, IMHO, but worth it to keep the peace.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't say ask but more like let me know or let her know that you would be using that car and if it is convenient/okay.

[Deleted]

We have a van and a car. Normally during the work week I always take the van and DH takes the car, but on the weekends he'll grab the van whenever he feels like it. It drives me nuts. I hate having to put the seat and mirrors back and the way he leaves all kinds of garbage in it. He says they're both "OUR vehicles. I just really want my own. I hate sharing absolutely everything.

[Deleted]

Yes. I don't like driving large trucks and DH has one. He thinks my SUV is really small.

[Deleted]

I keep a lot of things in my car and he does in his car. So, unless there is a special need for one of us to use the other, then we don't. We also have our own side of the bed and so forth.

[Malarky]

Not only do we each have our own car and always have, we each have our own insurance company. It is the one area where we have never combined finances.

Neither would dream of using the other's car without asking first. And each is free to buy whatever we choose, as long as it is within the realm of our family finances.

[Nazgul Girl]

Yes. DH is welcome to drive my car anytime, but it's picky and the seatbelt buckles are inconveniently placed on the side of the seat for him ( he doesn't like the sharp angle at which you have to insert the buckle into the lock ) so we seem to drive our "own" cars 99% of the time. One rule for driving my car: DON'T mess with my radio station settings.

[Deleted]

Nov 25, 2012 12:04:19 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Have you discussed this with your DH?

Not really. We have lots of issues, and this is a relatively minor one in comparison.

To be fair to him, the van is by far the better vehicle. His is an old beater economy car, so I'm sure he likes taking the van on the weekends, but honestly, I'd rather sell them both and get two of nearly the exact same size/value so there is not one of us having something "better". I just want my own!

Like Shooby, I keep a lot of my stuff in the van. Yesterday he took it and I needed to run into work, but didn't have my access badge because it was in the van. Today he took it to church and who knows when he'll be back, he often stops to hang out with his brother or goes shopping after church.

[sbcalimom]

Sort of yes. My car is the one that the good carseats are in so if DH wants to take the car without the kids, he always checks with me to make sure I didn't have plans to go anywhere with the girls. His car has carseats but they are horrible and I absolutely hate them so we both try to avoid using them as much as possible. They're really only for emergencies. Plus, he now has a bike rack on his trunk that I hate to deal with so I try to avoid driving his car.

[Deleted]

Nov 25, 2012 12:12:20 GMT -5 Malarky said:

Not only do we each have our own car and always have, we each have our own insurance company. It is the one area where we have never combined finances.

Neither would dream of using the other's car without asking first. And each is free to buy whatever we choose, as long as it is within the realm of our family finances.

Our finances are completely combined. But, i have so much personal junk in my van. My van is really just an extension of my purse and whatever doens't fit in the purse is in the van. ANd, i usually leave my purse locked in the van. Yeah, not smart, whatevs , but it works for me.

[midjd]

I suppose not technically, but it usually works out that way.

We have 3 vehicles. My daily driver is a teeny 2-seater that sits very low to the ground. I'm picky about the way it is driven and DH hates to ride in it (he has to hunch) so he only drives it every couple of months when he changes the oil. If he expressed an interest in driving it regularly I'd probably be a little miffed.

DH has a Jeep that he hasn't been able to drive since his foot surgery a month ago, so I've been using it on the weekends just to keep the systems in good shape (also, it is pretty fun ). DH trusts me not to crash and knows that being driven is better for it than sitting there, but you can tell it still bothers him. I suspect when he gets his full range of motion back I will not be driving it much.

DH's daily driver is an old truck. Neither of us really want to drive it so it's no big deal.

[milee]

This is an example of a thread that helps people in ways that weren't intended. I'm very glad to read some of the responses and get a better understanding for what my husband might be feeling when he got so nasty about trading cars. I honestly didn't get it earlier and thought he was just being difficult, so it's helpful to understand some of the completely valid reasons he might have had for not wanting to trade cars.

[muttleynfelix]

Well, I'm the odd ball. No, the car that I am the daily driver is not mine. In fact it isn't registered to me. Just like the SUV that dh is the daily driver of is not registered to him. It is a matter of who has DS. I joke that the SUV is actually DS's. If either of us is going somewhere without DS, then we take the car. If DS has a sitter, then DH and I will take the SUV together. But even if dh is just running up to the gas station of an evening, he'll take the car.

[Deleted]

I think part of it is I was an only child that never had to share anything, plus I'm a little OCD about keeping everything in my vehicle how and where I want it. Four years ago I was an independent single mom with TWO vehicles and a farm, then I got married and suddenly I have nothing to call my own anymore.

[MN-Investor]

DH's car is his and, apparently, my car is ours.

Actually, it isn't quite that bad now. I definitely don't drive DH's car. Since he tends to leave junk in it, I don't mind. I hate a junk filled car.

When DH and I go somewhere together, half the time we use my car, half the time his car. I guess it just depends on where we're going and what we're doing. I have the new, larger vehicle. I can't complain because DH almost always is the one to fill it up. It's just annoying that he complains when I change the car seats and mirrors (I'm 5'5", he's 6'4"). But it's MY car!

[Iggy aka IG]

Yup, we each have our own vehicles, including separate registrations and insurance. Occasionally DH will put fuel in mine, and he s solely responsible for vehicle maintenance and washing both. ;D

[cronewitch]

When married I bought a car, I test drove it to the bank and he drove it back to the dealership for me to buy. A week or so later he asked if he could drive my car and I said no. He asked why not and I told him he didn't have a key. When I divorced him he had never driven my car again. My ISO and I don't share my car, my truck he will drive to hook up my boat, I drive to the lake and he launches it and parks the truck, retrieves the boat and I drive it home, he puts the boat in the garage. That is all he drives my truck. I drive his truck from the lake to the tie down area since he is in the boat that is on the trailer. I drove his truck to the dealer once for an oil change because he had an appointment and had to do something else. We don't like sharing.

[kittensaver]

Well we DO have "his" and "my" car, but technically they are both registered in both our names. We both haul around stuff, and we ended up both getting Escapes (one year apart). His is a hybrid with better mileage, though. We write off 100% of his mileage to his business, so whenever we travel or go somewhere together we take "my" car.

[Deleted]

Both our cars are in both of our names. Everything is community property. But, we have always had "my car, your car". Just always seemed the natural thing for us.

[lurkyloo]

We have his cars and my cars, but we're not anal about keeping them separate. It's more a matter of what's practical and personal preferences. I dislike driving his daily drivers (they're low, loud, and have very wide doors) and will generally check with him before taking the sports car anywhere since that's his baby. That's mostly a matter of courtesy rather than wondering whether he's going to say no, though--the only reason he'd turn me down for using one of his cars would be if it needed work or was in the middle of having something replaced.

My cars are the "family" cars--if we're taking the dog to the beach or carrying dirty/smelly cargo we'll use the Corolla; if we're driving after dark or doing a roadtrip we'll take the Focus. DH doesn't usually ask before using them; I don't particularly care...after all, he's the one who keeps them running He prefers his own cars just as I prefer mine.

It helps that we're nearly the same height and adjustments are typically a matter of sliding the seat a bit. However, one car has memory for storing seat and mirror settings for individual drivers so you just push a button to go back to your own settings...sounds like that kind of feature might be convenient for some of the posters here.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

My wonderful DH has a silver Ford Explorer. I rarely drive it because I am horrible at backing it out of our garage.

I drive a screaming yellow Ford Mustang. When we go places together, my wonderful DH usually drives it (and me) around, futzing with my seat adjustments. On really hot days, he sometimes drives it to work since it cools down a lot better than his Explorer ... and it gets better gas mileage. We take it on trips, too ... and it's younger by 4 years than the Explorer. (6 years old at present, with 27,000 miles on it!)

[swamp]

I have my van, DH has his truck. We rarely drive each others vehicles. My van is also an extension of my purse with a bunch of crap in it. On any given day, you can find in it: my workout clothe, my water bottle, phone charger, DS's hockey bag, DD's figure skating stuff, my golf clubs, my briefcase, various work files, bags of stuff that needs to be dropped off at the salvation army, notes to myself, a d assorted other stuff. I feel naked without my van.

[raeoflyte]

We have the family car and truck. The truck is what we each drive to work (opposite shifts) since it is too small for car seats, and we both drive each car during the week.

[Deleted]

Yes. I don't like driving other people's cars. I don't ever drive the BMW. When my sister visited while DH was hospitalized, I made her drive it even though mine (Toyota) gets better mileage.

DH drives my car but reluctantly. He likes the feel of driving a BMW plus mine is small. Still, we always take it on trips since it gets double his gas mileage and doesn't require the expensive gas.

We have actually talked about going to one car when I retire. We manage ok when one of them is being serviced because I live so close to work. I'd love to live somewhere one day where a car was completely optional.

[geenamercile]

I have two cars, and sometimes DH will use the bigger one or that is what it seems like. We have my work car that I only drive, DH just can't drive it comfortable but he can ride passenger. We also mostly use it when we do family things that take up only a few days or less, and I drive. Then we have the other larger car that mostly hangs out in it's parking spot. DH will use it when he has to go out when I'm at work, but that isn't very often. We also use it when we do family long family trips, so more stuff to pack, or family plus dog things. We really could go down to a one car family without any issues. But both are paid off, and it is king of nice to have a backup if needed.

[8 Bit WWBG]

Right now, we make do with one. Technically its "mine" (as in, I bought it, I was on the loan, I am on the title). DW is actually using it right now. I'm not sure what will happen as we inevitably get better cars. Maybe we'll get a nice sporty car to share as the "fun" car. Since we don't have need of separate cars right now, or in the foreseeable future, its a moot point.

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

Yes, we each have our own car. We don't live in the same place so we both have separate cars. DH recently started using my car though because he has a long commute and I generally don't drive during the week with my car. My car is a hybrid so it gets a lot better gas mileage than his sedan. It is also older and he is really weird about wanting to keep the mileage low on his cars (I don't care-I figure cars are for driving so mileage is fine).

We usually drive places together in my car. When we are together he or I drive, depending on who feels like it. I don't drive his car-when he has mine I walk or use public transit (I live in an area with great public transit where it is hard to find parking so having a car isn't a bonus).

The only bad thing is that he leaves all kinds of trash in my car. I don't mind papers or clothes but he drinks all kinds of sodas and energy drinks. The smell of Monster/Red Bull/Rock Stars makes me sick so when I find those empty cans all over my car, it really irritates me. He is getting better... slowly

[Deleted]

Not married, but we've been teamed up for 7+ years now. We just have the one car.

We find it's cheaper, and we talk a lot while we're on the road. It's kind of nice to be able to have the time together in the morning for the commute, and after work we can both tag team for grocery shopping.