sunbee
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Post by sunbee on Nov 1, 2012 14:23:16 GMT -5
I've got to say, if you're bribing a kid to be good in the grocery store, they don't get the treat til they're out of the store. I do that all the time. But I don't think a two year old, in general, is capable of behaving that long for a treat until he's been taught how. I really wouldn't feed sugar or any simple carbohydrates before going shopping, or go at naptime or bedtime. Maybe midmorning, after a couple hours to run around outside, and a snack of cheese and carrots would be a good time to go. Most mornings are when there are lots of parents with small children in the groceries I frequent, and they are more tolerant of your need to discipline your child than those who have none. I don't have a problem taking mine to restaurants--when we have the rare chance to go. But then, they're expected to use their silverware properly at the dining room table every night and generally engage in appropriate mealtime manners. They might get banished to the kitchen, loose their silverware, or even their entire meal, or worst yet, have to listen to their grandparents' story of the Ambassador yet again! Swamp--I'm hoping I can teach her to channel the intensity when she's older. I can lose my eight year old in a book for a few hours with no problem. Does yours do one activity for hours and hours? I think there are two things going on with her right now--one is that there's no way to do a five or ten minute--or even thirty minute shopping trip with five kids, the shopping takes too long for her. The other is that, of course, she's restrained in the cart. Since it's twenty minutes of car seat just to get to the grocery store, yeah, I'd be pretty frustrated too. I love kids, in general: they're so interesting and generally honest about their emotions.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 1, 2012 14:25:19 GMT -5
We really didn't take the kids to restarants (much) until they were like 3-ish. By that time, we could spend the time talking with them, playing little games, singing - whatever. They loved it - we didn't give them that much attention at home.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 14:25:20 GMT -5
Mornings are always best for kids. Afternoons are burn out time. Evenings are hell.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 1, 2012 14:33:54 GMT -5
Sunbee what about giving her a job to do? We let Gwen put certain things in the cart. She gets great amusement out of DH handing her the cerael box and saying "put it in the cart" and then dramatically throwing it in. Obviously we don't let her do it with anything breakable.
She also now gets great joy out of putting things on the conveyor belt in the check out line.
We also count things, I try to get her to repeat words etc. We keep her thinking and involved.
It isn't 100% foolproof but it has cut temper tantrums at the grocery store down considerably.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 14:50:11 GMT -5
I do not cook. Restaurants should be his norm at this point. Between his days with my parents and evenings with us, many meals are out. I reallly do not tolerate kid antics and am much harder on my kids then most parents. We ate out one night last week and he was restless and yelling. I was getting angry and another table was telling me he was just being a baby and is cute. I really do not have patience. I had more with my daughter. I yelled at a kid trick or treating last night that I never met. Of course he was without parent supervision.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 1, 2012 14:54:04 GMT -5
So you are just as selfish with your kids as you are in the rest of your life. You can't drag your toddler around all day and night without napping and expect him to be a perfectly behaved child.
You should not be proud of the fact that you are harder on your ids when the fact that you have to be harder is because you refuse to change anything about your lifestyle to accomdate the fact that you have kids.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 1, 2012 14:59:35 GMT -5
So you are just as selfish with your kids as you are in the rest of your life. You can't drag your toddler around all day and night without napping and expect him to be a perfectly behaved child. You should not be proud of the fact that you are harder on your ids when the fact that you have to be harder is because you refuse to change anything about your lifestyle to accomdate the fact that you have kids. seriously
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 15:00:03 GMT -5
Mornings are always best for kids. Afternoons are burn out time. Evenings are hell. Which is all well and good when we are not at work. I do try to get some things done on saturday mornings, but sometimes thats just not enough time.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 15:09:21 GMT -5
Yes, well, I worked, too. Nevertheless, when you have kids, you do what's best for them. That may mean your Saturday mornings are spent grocery shopping and not much else since you have no partner to help you. Evenings need to end for all the children when you get home from work and make dinner. You need to stop that I don't cook BS. Grow the hell up why don't you. My DS dumped a fine girl who was a GOOD catch because she was useless everywhere but the working world and he couldn't stand someone who didn't even know how to do her own laundry, let alone cook, clean, or take care of basic car maintenance, as in having the sense to go get her oil changed or get air in her tires. You can't play Peter Pan forever. For some reason that only you know, you chose to procreate with two men who didn't step up to the plate. So you have to.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 1, 2012 15:21:47 GMT -5
Your daughter is what 10? In the past decade you have made zero effort to learn how to make your kid a healthy meal at home? What are you teaching her? That she shouldn't learn how to take care of herself either. You need to stop making excuses and start being the parent. You aren't doing your kids any favors by dragging them all over town past their bedtimes, taking them out to eat crap 7 nights a week and letting them see their father figure checkout of their lives and not help their mother at all.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Nov 1, 2012 15:31:00 GMT -5
I believe we have now solved the mystery of why you can manage to feed your family of 4 on $100 with extreme couponing and why you still have problems with your budget/money.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 15:33:04 GMT -5
So you don't keep your toddler on any schedule and drag him all over God's green earth. You don't give him regular naps. After all of that you expect him to sit in a restaurant and then you get angry with him for his behavior and have other adults telling you he's just being a baby. Oy vey. Can you not see the problem here?
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Nov 1, 2012 15:45:36 GMT -5
I do not cook. Restaurants should be his norm at this point. Between his days with my parents and evenings with us, many meals are out. I reallly do not tolerate kid antics and am much harder on my kids then most parents. We ate out one night last week and he was restless and yelling. I was getting angry and another table was telling me he was just being a baby and is cute. I really do not have patience. I had more with my daughter. I yelled at a kid trick or treating last night that I never met. Of course he was without parent supervision. Of course Doxie, but of course. None of this is your fault at all. Your DS should be ready to do as you wish all times of the day. He needs to understand that you don't WANT to cook (not that you can't, you just DON'T WANNA!). Not even for your kids. So your 2 year old needs to lower his sleep requirements and improve his behavior and be the most obliging kid on the face of the earth because he has YOU for a mom. I mean, thats not asking too much from your own child if you expect the moon from the rest of the world! Its the entire world against you Doxie, I am tellin ya! Your own kid not falling in line with your plans?!?!?! Who would have thought!!! Nopes. Not your fault at all.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 15:51:05 GMT -5
Your daughter is what 10? In the past decade you have made zero effort to learn how to make your kid a healthy meal at home? What are you teaching her? That she shouldn't learn how to take care of herself either. You need to stop making excuses and start being the parent. You aren't doing your kids any favors by dragging them all over town past their bedtimes, taking them out to eat crap 7 nights a week and letting them see their father figure checkout of their lives and not help their mother at all. She is 8. Dh cooks. I do not and it is not for lack of trying. I am just not sucessful at making edible meals. If he is not home we have to fend for ourselves for dinner.
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sunbee
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Post by sunbee on Nov 1, 2012 15:53:44 GMT -5
Thanks for the suggestions, Drama, we do a lot of that--but she doesn't fuss until the checkout line. No conveyer belt on her side of the register--they take the stuff out of the cart to scan. I don't know what it is about checking out--leave her in, take her out and hold her, put her in the backpack, it's all screaming time . . . maybe she remembers that the next step is her hated car seat and she's just warming up. Maybe it's because her brothers are always arguing over bagging rights and the family tension ratchets up. (Produce, bulk, cans, cold, who knew which one does what was so important?)
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 15:57:46 GMT -5
So you don't keep your toddler on any schedule and drag him all over God's green earth. You don't give him regular naps. After all of that you expect him to sit in a restaurant and then you get angry with him for his behavior and have other adults telling you he's just being a baby. Oy vey. Can you not see the problem here? He is on a schedule. He gets up in the morning. I let him out of his room at 7. I drop him off at my moms. Pick him up at 5:30-6. Feed him, bathe him and put him to bed by 7:30, except for fridays which is 8:30 ish. On the weekends I put him down for a nap after lunch.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 1, 2012 16:10:14 GMT -5
He's not even 2, you have to put him in a position to succede. You aren't. You are setting him up for failure by overstimulating him and letting him get overtired. You are disrespecting his needs for rest and less stimulation.
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milee
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Post by milee on Nov 1, 2012 16:10:55 GMT -5
He is on a schedule. He gets up in the morning. I let him out of his room at 7. I drop him off at my moms. Pick him up at 5:30-6. Feed him, bathe him and put him to bed by 7:30, except for fridays which is 8:30 ish. On the weekends I put him down for a nap after lunch. Yes, but this description of the "schedule" is as accurate as your "budget." It's not helpful if you're not willing to be honest with yourself and account for all the other stuff.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 16:14:07 GMT -5
It seems - especially with kids that young - consistency is the key. If he's only getting naps on the weekends, going to bed at 7:30 some nights and 8:30 others, going to the grocery store/out to eat some nights and at home on others, that's not really the type of "schedule" that is meant for kids that age.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 16:17:50 GMT -5
Exactly milee. Running from place to place to place is not exactly the schedule I was talking about.
Look, I know it's tough. I have a 3-year-old, a 4-month-old and I work full-time. We have a certain amount of chaos. But there are still predictable nap and bed times and meal times, mostly at home or grammie's house. I've made some serious adjustments to how I handle errands so I can do as much as possible without the kids.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 1, 2012 16:20:24 GMT -5
He is on a schedule. He gets up in the morning. I let him out of his room at 7. I drop him off at my moms. Pick him up at 5:30-6. Feed him, bathe him and put him to bed by 7:30, except for fridays which is 8:30 ish. On the weekends I put him down for a nap after lunch. Yes, but this description of the "schedule" is as accurate as your "budget." It's not helpful if you're not willing to be honest with yourself and account for all the other stuff. It is also like a budget in that your schedule may not work for your kid. Just like your budget may not be working for what you are actually doing. Being on the go wears a person out. Especially a little one that needs to spend a lot of time growing and learning.
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kittensaver
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We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Nov 1, 2012 16:34:09 GMT -5
(What happened to discussing childless people? lol)
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 1, 2012 16:45:22 GMT -5
I do not cook. Restaurants should be his norm at this point. Yeah, I don't think restaurants *should* really be anyone's norm, at least not restaurants that serve processed food. We like to eat out, but it isn't good for our waistlines, skin, cholesterol levels OR our pocketbooks so we don't do it all the time.
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Driftr
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Post by Driftr on Nov 1, 2012 16:48:15 GMT -5
My first thought is they are smart enough to realize that they wouldn't be good parents so they've done the responsible thing.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 1, 2012 18:33:18 GMT -5
I'm mostly curious about a childless couple...and like Dark, I don't consider someone truly childless until they are older...lots of people swear they never want kids and then change their mind <<eyes Alicia >> But Im curious as to whether they didn't want kids or couldn't have them. I've always wanted kids so I guess a part of me can't understand not wanting them....but I also am happy that people who know they dont' want kids don't have them...while i think it would be horrible to hit 50 and suddenly regret not having kids, Ithink it would be worse for a child for a parent to regret having them.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 1, 2012 18:38:59 GMT -5
Dammit, I should have read past page 2 and realized this turned into a Doxi thread before I answered!lol
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 18:42:34 GMT -5
;D
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Nov 1, 2012 19:28:33 GMT -5
My 17 month old will 'talk' to every single female while we are shopping. He turns on his cheesy little grin and says Hi! I'm always worried that those who don't like kids finds that annoying. There is one grocery store that has an echo in. He LOVES when I take him there. So I don't unless they are having a super sale. Because he will make noises just to listen to the echo.
My older kids.....I hate taking them shopping. They want everything. If I take all of my kids, I will spend $150 on just fresh fruit. And that's all well and good...but I like to have meat, veggies and bread too.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 1, 2012 19:42:38 GMT -5
I'm mostly curious about a childless couple...and like Dark, I don't consider someone truly childless until they are older...lots of people swear they never want kids and then change their mind <<eyes Alicia >> But Im curious as to whether they didn't want kids or couldn't have them. I've always wanted kids so I guess a part of me can't understand not wanting them....but I also am happy that people who know they dont' want kids don't have them...while i think it would be horrible to hit 50 and suddenly regret not having kids, Ithink it would be worse for a child for a parent to regret having them. Th,e best I can say about wanting kids at any time in my life was utter ambivalence, for the most part, I had no interest. That was when everyone around me was having kids and my SIL and sister were in a contest to see who could produce more kids. After watching that debacle, my ambivalence slid over to 'no way in hell do I want kids'. I shifted from ambivalence to no way when I was around 33, and 20 years later, no regrets.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 1, 2012 20:03:14 GMT -5
I'm mostly curious about a childless couple...and like Dark, I don't consider someone truly childless until they are older...lots of people swear they never want kids and then change their mind <<eyes Alicia >> But Im curious as to whether they didn't want kids or couldn't have them. I've always wanted kids so I guess a part of me can't understand not wanting them....but I also am happy that people who know they dont' want kids don't have them...while i think it would be horrible to hit 50 and suddenly regret not having kids, Ithink it would be worse for a child for a parent to regret having them. Th,e best I can say about wanting kids at any time in my life was utter ambivalence, for the most part, I had no interest. That was when everyone around me was having kids and my SIL and sister were in a contest to see who could produce more kids. After watching that debacle, my ambivalence slid over to 'no way in hell do I want kids'. I shifted from ambivalence to no way when I was around 33, and 20 years later, no regrets. That is good that you have no regrets...that means you made the right choice for you.
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