The Rainbows and Puppies Thread

[Green Eyed Lady]

Who is Valdemort? I have a gun. Does he need shot?

[Green Eyed Lady]

Unicorns need a quiet and calm environment. I would appreciate it if everyone would govern themselves accordingly. Last thing I need right now is a jumpy and hysterical unicorn.

[Virgil Showlion]

He means "Voldemort", who is the villain in the Harry Potter series.

...a series which doesn't feature unicorns at any point.

Destroying unicorns is actually quite simple. Place a single pea on the ground and then stack 24,901 mattresses on top of it. Then get the unicorn to sleep on the top of the stack for a single night.

Merely the knowledge that the tiny pea exists under the mattresses will drive the unicorn insane. She'll complain of wrenching back pains, which will be made real psychosomatically. Eventually she'll stop writing her unicorn songs and obsess only about how that pea is ruining her life, how her pain and her agony are entirely its fault.

When the dawn breaks, tell her to forget about the pea. Tell her to talk about anything besides the pea. In a final violent act of defiance, she'll hurl herself off her tower of mattresses to meet her grizzly demise below.

This is (and has always been) the surest way to destroy a unicorn. It's not exactly pretty.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I think you have unicorns and a very spoiled princess mixed up. And who the heck wants to destroy our unicorn? I see ONE SINGLE pea around here and heads will roll.

Never watched Harry Potter. Looked really dumb to me.

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 12:38:52 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

He means "Voldemort", who is the villain in the Harry Potter series.

...a series which doesn't feature unicorns at any point.

Yes it does. The first year Voldemort is feeding on them in the forrest in order to stay alive until he can get the Stone. My 8 year old recently finished the first book. We watched the movie together within the last month.

[Green Eyed Lady]

What is this world coming to? People always wanting to destroy that which is beautiful and pure and....hornless.

[Driftr]

And as we learned in Legend, don't ever touch a unicorn or they lose their immortality. Stupid Lilly / horny Jack / poor unicorn...

[Green Eyed Lady]

Does chopping their horn off to avoid a lawsuit count as "touching"?

[Driftr]

Oct 10, 2012 20:44:13 GMT -5 frankq said:

Post any uninteresting, off topic, insignificant, or simple nonsense here. Truth or facts matter not, as long as it's posted with love.....

Thank you. You just doubled the number of threads I feel comfortable posting in here. You're a good man Q no matter what they say about you over at Verizon.

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 13:25:46 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Does chopping their horn off to avoid a lawsuit count as "touching"?

The only way you're getting the horn off a unicorn is if it's dead.

The only way a unicorn can be killed is after someone has touched it.

IMO only the person who touched it first should be held accountable. Once it's dead, best to harvest the organs (and horn).

As an aside though, be careful what you use that horn for. From what I have seen, if you use it to kill a virgin on a certain day at a certain time you might end up as master of the universe. Who needs those headaches?

[Green Eyed Lady]

The only way you're getting the horn off a unicorn is if it's dead.

This is obviously an old wives' tale. If you listen closely, you can still hear the screaming.

The only way a unicorn can be killed is after someone has touched it.

It wasn't me.

IMO only the person who touched it first should be held accountable. Once it's dead, best to harvest the organs (and horn).

Oh, Fraaaaaaaaaank.....you are in trouble deep!!

As an aside though, be careful what you use that horn for. From what I have seen, if you use it to kill a virgin on a certain day at a certain time you might end up as master of the universe. Who needs those headaches?

What happens if the victim is a cheerleader instead of a virgin? Will I just be master of my domain instead of the universe? Cause I don't want to be held responsible for that mess.

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 11, 2012 13:20:15 GMT -5 Driftr said:

Oct 11, 2012 12:38:52 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

He means "Voldemort", who is the villain in the Harry Potter series.

...a series which doesn't feature unicorns at any point.

Yes it does. The first year Voldemort is feeding on them in the forrest in order to stay alive until he can get the Stone. My 8 year old recently finished the first book. We watched the movie together within the last month.

I stand duly corrected.

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 13:35:32 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

What happens if the victim is a cheerleader instead of a virgin? Will I just be master of my domain instead of the universe? Cause I don't want to be held responsible for that mess.

Killing a cheerleader with a unicorn horn? That's just mean. The fact that you even bring it up is quite disturbing and has me questioning whether I should share any more unicorn lore with you.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Killing a cheerleader with a unicorn horn? That's just mean. The fact that you even bring it up is quite disturbing and has me questioning whether I should share any more unicorn lore with you.

You suggested killing a poor virgin who has done nothing (literally) and you question MY sanity?

I'm hurt.

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 13:46:56 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Killing a cheerleader with a unicorn horn? That's just mean. The fact that you even bring it up is quite disturbing and has me questioning whether I should share any more unicorn lore with you.

You suggested killing a poor virgin who has done nothing (literally) and you question MY sanity?

I'm hurt.

Apologies for the misunderstandings.

I didn't mean to suggest anyone should kill a virgin with the horn of a unicorn. I understand how when I wrote 'from what I've seen' it easily could have been read as I was there. In fact, there was a documentary (or maybe just a movie, not sure) I saw about it.

I also wasn't trying to question your sanity. when I wrote disturbing I meant disturbing in the 'I'm a volunteer substitute cheerleader on weekends and the thought of dying by unicorn horn disturbs me' way.

We'd probably be safer talking about puppies. I'm not getting one. Ever. It's 2+ year old house trained dog adoptions for us forever.

[Green Eyed Lady]

LOL!!!!!

[Green Eyed Lady]

You apology is accepted.

And just so you know? I am a bit right of center, but keep that under your hat.

You are funny.

[sunrnr]

Oct 11, 2012 13:20:15 GMT -5 Driftr said:

Oct 11, 2012 12:38:52 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

He means "Voldemort", who is the villain in the Harry Potter series.

...a series which doesn't feature unicorns at any point.

Yes it does. The first year Voldemort is feeding on them in the forrest in order to stay alive until he can get the Stone. My 8 year old recently finished the first book. We watched the movie together within the last month.

THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP TO REVISIONISTS like Virgil ..... so I have a short memory and can't spell!

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 13:55:06 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

You apology is accepted.

And just so you know? I am a bit right of center, but keep that under your hat.

You are funny.

Thank you. That was fun.

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 15:18:56 GMT -5 sunrnr said:

Oct 11, 2012 13:20:15 GMT -5 Driftr said:

Yes it does. The first year Voldemort is feeding on them in the forrest in order to stay alive until he can get the Stone. My 8 year old recently finished the first book. We watched the movie together within the last month.

THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP TO REVISIONISTS like Virgil ..... so I have a short memory and can't spell!

It was my pleasure. It's rare when I get to put my Harry Potter nerd hat on outside of the company of third graders. Using it to stand up to revisionists is just double plus good.

[frankq]

"Problem is frank, you don't know how to rebut just the facts. you want to make it personal all the time.. so you're right. you don't want to keep the personal attacks out of it, then get out. "

Speaking of personal attacks.......

I don't think I've violated the CoC. There has been no name calling, no slanderous (libelous?) behavior. There has been spirited discussion. I have not called anybody stupid because I call out their statements and sources for same. The problem I see is your hair trigger as noted by your "This Board is at Risk" thread. I don't know who is filling your in-box asking why "somebody" is "allowed" to exist out here, but you have to ask yourself: are they all wrong? To be honest, I don't have a problem with Decoy here. He can visit my threads anytime. In addition, anyone who puts thought to print would be well advised to have a thick skin. When you post, it's out there for all to see. In that regard, you have to expect responses. There are no guarantees that you'll like those responses. The board is yours moon, to keep, or to pull. But with "ownership" comes responsibility. Censoring the board, in my opinion, violates that responsibility.

So enough of the heavy content here. This is the rainbows and puppies thread........

[frankq]

"Destroying unicorns is actually quite simple. Place a single pea on the ground and then stack 24,901 mattresses on top of it. Then get the unicorn to sleep on the top of the stack for a single night."

Assuming that the mattresses are about a foot thick, we'd need to drop it from a 747 to get it up there. Wait.......can unicorns fly?

[frankq]

"Yes it does. The first year Voldemort is feeding on them in the forrest in order to stay alive until he can get the Stone. My 8 year old recently finished the first book. We watched the movie together within the last month. "

Hey Driftr, I didn't figure you for a Potter fan....not that there's anything wrong with that........

[frankq]

"What is this world coming to? People always wanting to destroy that which is beautiful and pure and....hornless."

So, I guess it's better to be horny than hornless.......

[frankq]

"Killing a cheerleader with a unicorn horn? That's just mean. The fact that you even bring it up is quite disturbing and has me questioning whether I should share any more unicorn lore with you."

I'm trying to picture this in my mind....so...do you just grab the unicorn by the back legs, swing it like a club, and beat the cheerleader to death with it? Or maybe figure out a way to get the unicorn to run over her? Maybe if you smeared the cheerleader with peanut butter.... I know my dogs love the stuff. Wait! That doesn't sound right does it.......

[Green Eyed Lady]

Assuming that the mattresses are about a foot thick, we'd need to drop it from a 747 to get it up there. Wait.......can unicorns fly?

Nobody is dropping our unicorn out of a 747! What is WRONG with you people? Do you all work for the CIA???

[Green Eyed Lady]

I'm trying to picture this in my mind....so...do you just grab the unicorn be the back legs, swing it like a club, and beat the cheerleader to death with it? Or maybe figure out a way to get the unicorn to run over her? Maybe if you smeared the cheerleader with peanut butter.... I know my dogs love the stuff. Wait! That doesn't sound right does it.......

Jeez. I gotta teach you guys everything.

You just say, "Hey, Cheerleader! I know what would be fun! Get a running start and impale yourself on the unicon horn!" She'll toss her hair, chomp her gum and say, "Waaaaaay cool!"

Mission accomplished.

[Driftr]

Oct 11, 2012 16:38:25 GMT -5 frankq said:

"Yes it does. The first year Voldemort is feeding on them in the forrest in order to stay alive until he can get the Stone. My 8 year old recently finished the first book. We watched the movie together within the last month. "

Hey Driftr, I didn't figure you for a Potter fan....not that there's anything wrong with that........

My library includes all the works of J K Rowling and J R R Tolkien. You'll also find plenty more if those aren't up your ally. Donaldson next to Dostoevsky. Hemingway & Hesse right beside Hoff. Plenty of Ambrose, a couple McCarthy, all the Stephenson I have found and even a Covey in there for good measure.

And no, I'll never own a Kindle.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I love my Kindle. Of course, there is nothing like a quiet corner and turning the pages of a good book, but I do a LOT of waiting for various reasons. I always had a book with me to pass the time. A book is heavy and cumbersome to carry around in my purse, but my Kindle fits perfectly. I love it. It's only for "to go" books.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Do you have to yell? People are still sleeping.

I fully admit I have no idea of which board I am posting on. I just use the Hot Topics page. However, both Moon and Virgil have been here and I assume they would have moved or deleted the thread if they felt it was inappropriately placed. They still may if you complain loudly enough.