thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 12:19:14 GMT -5
I was so bored on maternity leave, I couldn't wait to get back to work. I was slightly less enthusiastic with my second kid - but that was only because I didn't really like my job much. I was still happy to be out of the house.
It didn't help that I had my babies during summer and because I live in god's oven, I couldn't even go for a walk when the kids were babies. I had serious cabin fever.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 12:22:56 GMT -5
I was so bored on maternity leave, I couldn't wait to get back to work. I was slightly less enthusiastic with my second kid - but that was only because I didn't really like my job much. I was still happy to be out of the house. It didn't help that I had my babies during summer and because I live in god's oven, I couldn't even go for a walk when the kids were babies. I had serious cabin fever. I loved every minute I was home with my baby. To be honest though my career did take a big hit and it took me a while to get back to where I was. Mom and Career...quite a challenge.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 6, 2012 12:24:05 GMT -5
Apple, may I ask what you do and how you feel your career suffered after your kiddo came? Did you travel or work very long hours before that weren't possible once you were a mom, or was it the perception of you that changed, or something else? Curious since I'm about to go through this transition myself
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 12:38:26 GMT -5
Apple, may I ask what you do and how you feel your career suffered after your kiddo came? Did you travel or work very long hours before that weren't possible once you were a mom, or was it the perception of you that changed, or something else? Curious since I'm about to go through this transition myself Hi firebird, I don't mind sharing. At the time of my first pregnancy I was working in the computer industry in a very leading edge company that I helped form with 3 other male partners. We were very involved with other large corporations and after years of hard work everything was paying off right when I was pregnant. Taking a year off at such a crucial time left me out of the loop and upon my return many things had changed. It was a difficult time because I wanted to spend the hours at work with the other big players but I also wanted very much to be with my baby.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 6, 2012 12:44:19 GMT -5
That totally makes sense. Sounds like it was bad timing (err, for the company, not your baby! .
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 12:47:04 GMT -5
That totally makes sense. Sounds like it was bad timing (err, for the company, not your baby! . Yes, I am glad I spent the time with my baby. The way I look at it is when you are on your death bed are you really going to look back and say I wish I worked more and spent less time with my family? lol
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 12:54:52 GMT -5
I try not to live my life based on what my opinion might be on the one day I die. I try to do what is right every day, taking everything into balance. Unfortunately, when I'm on my death bed, I will forget what percentage of my income was used to pay the mortgage. I will forget how heavy the fear was about losing a job that was at risk at the time. I will also have the advantage of knowing if I will die at 68 or 98 - so I will know how much money I will have needed to save. If only life were so easy that we could read a bumper sticker and make the right decisions.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:00:57 GMT -5
I try not to live my life based on what my opinion might be on the one day I die. I try to do what is right every day, taking everything into balance. Unfortunately, when I'm on my death bed, I will forget what percentage of my income was used to pay the mortgage. I will forget how heavy the fear was about losing a job that was at risk at the time. I will also have the advantage of knowing if I will die at 68 or 98 - so I will know how much money I will have needed to save. If only life were so easy that we could read a bumper sticker and make the right decisions. Sorry thyme, I did not mean to imply that my choice was better than yours. I consider myself lucky that I had a choice and I am happy with my choice but I know its not possible for everyone nor is 1 year paid maternity an option or even desireable for everyone.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:03:35 GMT -5
I was just talking to a co-worker, and when his wife died, she left him massive amounts of debt. I didn't get any details - but I wonder what her death bed thought was - I hope it was regret that she didn't provide better for her family. I think it is shitty to leave someone in debt - but the saying "On my death bed, I will wish I had worked less and spent more time with my family" is designed to make anyone who wants to provide for their family feel like a greedy, money grubing, callous, cold, self-serving piece of shit.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Sept 6, 2012 13:04:40 GMT -5
Usually paternity and maternity time don't coincide but run consecutively. This is the first time I have heard of this. The company should change the rules as I am sure they did no forsee this. Not if you work for the same company. If you work for the same company, they only have to offer you up to 12 weeks FMLA combined, not 12 weeks each.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:11:17 GMT -5
I was just talking to a co-worker, and when his wife died, she left him massive amounts of debt. I didn't get any details - but I wonder what her death bed thought was - I hope it was regret that she didn't provide better for her family. I think it is shitty to leave someone in debt - but the saying "On my death bed, I will wish I had worked less and spent more time with my family" is designed to make anyone who wants to provide for their family feel like a greedy, money grubing, callous, cold, self-serving piece of shit. As I said it wasn't my intention.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:11:42 GMT -5
Usually paternity and maternity time don't coincide but run consecutively. This is the first time I have heard of this. The company should change the rules as I am sure they did no forsee this. Not if you work for the same company. If you work for the same company, they only have to offer you up to 12 weeks FMLA combined, not 12 weeks each. Ah...see I am in Canada and its different here.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 6, 2012 13:15:03 GMT -5
I was just talking to a co-worker, and when his wife died, she left him massive amounts of debt. I didn't get any details - but I wonder what her death bed thought was - I hope it was regret that she didn't provide better for her family. I think it is shitty to leave someone in debt - but the saying "On my death bed, I will wish I had worked less and spent more time with my family" is designed to make anyone who wants to provide for their family feel like a greedy, money grubing, callous, cold, self-serving piece of shit. I hope all the assets were joint and the debt was solely in her name so he isn't liable for it.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:26:50 GMT -5
Nope.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 6, 2012 13:28:27 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:29:53 GMT -5
I was just talking to a co-worker, and when his wife died, she left him massive amounts of debt. I didn't get any details - but I wonder what her death bed thought was - I hope it was regret that she didn't provide better for her family. I think it is shitty to leave someone in debt - but the saying "On my death bed, I will wish I had worked less and spent more time with my family" is designed to make anyone who wants to provide for their family feel like a greedy, money grubing, callous, cold, self-serving piece of shit. I hope all the assets were joint and the debt was solely in her name so he isn't liable for it. Hopefully he can remarry someone who makes more money to help pay off the debt.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:34:43 GMT -5
I hope all the assets were joint and the debt was solely in her name so he isn't liable for it. Hopefully he can remarry someone who makes more money to help pay off the debt. lol Archie.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:35:42 GMT -5
That is probably why he was hitting on me.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 6, 2012 13:36:21 GMT -5
That is probably why he was hitting on me. Is he cute?
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 6, 2012 13:37:28 GMT -5
I didn't read the whole thread... but I took my 12 weeks of paid leave (new child leave + 4 weeks of FMLA). My husband then took the subsequent 8 weeks of paid FMLA (we have to share since we work at the same institution). He had a blast staying home with her. She was 3 months-5months so she was a little more fun than a newborn. He took her on walks in the stroller and played with her. It also delayed her inevitable start at daycare from 12 weeks to 20 weeks which I think was good to be a little bigger and stronger before going.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:42:32 GMT -5
Nope.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 6, 2012 13:43:05 GMT -5
then call HR and report him for sexual harassment.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:43:40 GMT -5
And then sue the company and get a huge payout and not have to work anymore! Great plan!
If only he were really hitting on me, and I didn't outrank him.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 6, 2012 13:44:34 GMT -5
And then sue the company and get a huge payout and not have to work anymore! Great plan! If only he were really hitting on me, and I didn't outrank him. pfft. details. get that complaint into HR, woman, STAT!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:45:17 GMT -5
I was just talking to a co-worker, and when his wife died, she left him massive amounts of debt. I didn't get any details - but I wonder what her death bed thought was - I hope it was regret that she didn't provide better for her family. I think it is shitty to leave someone in debt - but the saying "On my death bed, I will wish I had worked less and spent more time with my family" is designed to make anyone who wants to provide for their family feel like a greedy, money grubing, callous, cold, self-serving piece of shit. It is probably shittier for the person that died than the person that got left the debt. By the way, it is not like he didn't have the debt before she died.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:53:03 GMT -5
Yes - but he also had her income, piddly as it was.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:57:00 GMT -5
Yes - but he also had her income, piddly as it was. Well that was very thoughtless of her to die and be in debt.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Sept 6, 2012 13:58:19 GMT -5
It was thoughtless that on her deathbed she said "If only I worked less, then you would really be up shit creek - ha ha."
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 13:58:19 GMT -5
Yes - but he also had her income, piddly as it was. Exactly. Piddly income. Her death now give him a chance to increase his household income by marrying a high income earner.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2012 14:01:04 GMT -5
It was thoughtless that on her deathbed she said "If only I worked less, then you would really be up shit creek - ha ha." Maybe she didn't give a crap "If only I'd spent more...that ratbastad..."
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