Paternity leave or taking time off...

[Deleted]

How do you feel about it? My job (at least the policy) doesn't have an issue with it, but the associates/workers don't care much for it.

One associate called to say his girlfriend had the baby and he was taking 1 week off; girlfriend will take 6-8 weeks off (they both work for us, different department).

All the guys/co-workers started saying the following:
- I was at work the next day after my kid was born
- what is wrong with him? It's not his first (but hers)
- please, I couldn't wait to get back to work
- she got him whipped
- is he the one that had the baby?

So yeah, company allows for it bit it seems the guys will give you a hard time.
The girls on the other hand though it was cute.

We did send them flowers (already had a baby shower for we at the store).

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...dad time at/after birth is good... it's just more convenient when it happens during the playoffs...

[Loopdilou]

Guys are generally assholes. Remind them it isn't 1950 and ask them to stop being pricks.

Paternity/Maternity leave should be standard and encouraged.

[Phoenix84]

Paternity leave is a good thing, those guys need to grow up.

Our policy is we can take up to two weeks of paternity leave. I plan to take all of it when/if I'm ever in that situation.

[swamp]

Aug 31, 2012 13:54:03 GMT -5 Loopdilou said:

Guys are generally assholes. Remind them it isn't 1950 and ask them to stop being pricks.

Paternity/Maternity leave should be standard and encouraged.

DH took 3 weeks off when DS was born. I had a csection and my mom was with my brother and SIL who just had twins and had a 15 month old at home. They needed her more than I did.

[souldoubt]

If someone cares what the guys at their work think they need to sack up since that has no bearing on their life or what goes on at home. If you want to take the time off then you should. My buddy had a kid earlier this year and the only reason he went back after 2 weeks off is because his job is largely commission based and if he wasn't selling his pay took a hit.

[telephus44]

Paternity leave is awesome. Moms need help adjusting. It's great to have someone else worry about the dishes and getting food on the table when you're not getting any sleep. It's not like the dad is just taking the time off to cuddle and take pictures, he's also doing a lot of work. Get out of the 1950's (to the other guys at your store).

[Deleted]

Benefits are there to be used.

And I wouldn't think much of anyone who criticizes a man for wanting to spend time with his child.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Wow you work with a bunch of neanderthals. When we had Gwen DH's male co-workers were encouraging him to take as much time off as he needed to to be home with us. It's just as important for dad to bond with the child as the mom.

I am all for paternity leave.

If you care that much what your co-workers think you got problems, it is no one else's business how much or if you take time off. If it is company policy that he can take it and he wants to he should take it.

[vonna]

I think if your job allows for paternity leave, it is a great thing! AND who cares about what your coworkers think?

My husband was not able to take paternity leave for #2 due to his job at the time (military - sometimes they can, sometimes they can't.) But, he would have taken it, if he could.

As for me, military as well -- I took my whole 6 weeks of maternity leave, both times -- but it sure was a challenge to fit back into my uniform after only 6 weeks! <though my commanding officer did actually call me while I was in the recovery room after giving birth to #1 with a work related (but unnecessary) question.>

[thyme4change]

So yeah, company allows for it bit

Paternity leave is mandated in FMLA. It isn't your company that "allows" it - they are required by federal law to provide that leave.

Fuck his co-workers. Good for him.

[muttleynfelix]

All the guys/co-workers started saying the following:
- I was at work the next day after my kid was born
And your baby momma? What did she think of you being back at work the next day?
- what is wrong with him? It's not his first (but hers)
Obviously he knows it isn't easy the first week being home with a new baby.
- please, I couldn't wait to get back to work
Obviously you won father of the year awards

- she got him whipped
Or he is a great dad

I think it is great. Depending on the woman's recovery, she may need a lot of help. I think a lot of guys don't take time off because of the money, but it is really helpful. Of course my DH is a SAHD. He is obviously there are all the time and I loved it with DS. I'm sure I'll love it even more with DD.

[Deleted]

Aug 31, 2012 13:54:03 GMT -5 Loopdilou said:

Guys are generally assholes. Remind them it isn't 1950 and ask them to stop being pricks.

Paternity/Maternity leave should be standard and encouraged.

Easier said than done, again the policy is there and allows for it.
I believe the culture just haven't caught up!

I have been with my company for 3 years and this is the first time a guy is taking a week.
Usually 1-3 days is the norm.

Also most of our folks (like 90%) are hourly and usually what happens is they don't plan ahead and have no vacation/personal time left by the time the baby comes (unless if it comes early during the year). So no work/no paycheck, so usually have to come back to work sooner than later.

[973beachbum]

Man i would have loved it if DH could have taken Paternatity leave when the kids were born!

It was so hard to come home from the hospital and take care of a baby while not sleeping and still trying to let DH sleep because he had to go to work everyday. By the time the weekend came I was done.

It sounds like the men at that place are 12 years old and still think with the wrong part of their bodies.

ETA reading Cawiau's post makes me think a little differently. This isn't really paternaty leave so much as an acceptible reason to call out for a week if you haven't used your vacation time. In this case I would highly doubt most people would take more time than they absolutely had to.

[thyme4change]

again the policy is there and allows for it.

Still a law. They are mandated to provide it. It isn't policy - it is compliance.

[CarolinaKat]

Aug 31, 2012 13:50:32 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

How do you feel about it? My job (at least the policy) doesn't have an issue with it, but the associates/workers don't care much for it.

One associate called to say his girlfriend had the baby and he was taking 1 week off; girlfriend will take 6-8 weeks off (they both work for us, different department).

All the guys/co-workers started saying the following:
- I was at work the next day after my kid was born
- what is wrong with him? It's not his first (but hers)
- please, I couldn't wait to get back to work
- she got him whipped
- is he the one that had the baby?

So yeah, company allows for it bit it seems the guys will give you a hard time.
The girls on the other hand though it was cute.

We did send them flowers (already had a baby shower for we at the store).

Nothing I can say to those responses is 'nice'...

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I believe the culture just haven't caught up!

So what? Good for him for doing what he wants rather than listening to a bunch of men who hardly sound like fathers of the year.

DH was only able to take three weeks off but if he'd had the vacation time saved up his boss was willling to work around it so he could have taken off as much time as I did.

While there are al ot of things I dislike about DH's company at least he works with a group of men who aren't stuck in the 1950's.

[Phoenix84]

"I believe the culture just haven't caught up!"

It's probably just your work culture. I think most people in my workplace would be supportive of paternety leave.

I wonder if you can stagger it. Like mom takes 12 weeks and Dad takes three weeks, that's 15 weeks you don't have to put the kid in daycare.

[CarolinaKat]

Where I work it's expected for guys to take paternity leave. Even on the mfg floor, the operators take leave.

[Phoenix84]

Oh, and I'm pretty lucky, I can take sick leave to take my kids to the doctor or stay home with them if they're sick.

[thyme4change]

When my daughter was born, I would still call in for staff meetings and work on things from home - because I loved my job. When my son was born, I sent 1 email stating that the baby was born, included one picture and then I called the week before I was coming back. I hated the job and was so glad to get 6 weeks away from it.

[muttleynfelix]

Aug 31, 2012 14:32:33 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

"I believe the culture just haven't caught up!"

It's probably just your work culture. I think most people in my workplace would be supportive of paternety leave.

I wonder if you can stagger it. Like mom takes 12 weeks and Dad takes three weeks, that's 15 weeks you don't have to put the kid in daycare.

I think it probably has to do with the type of workers Carl deals with. Hourly workers at a grocery store are hardly the type to think about saving up their time off or save for unpaid time off when the baby arrives.

It surprised me when I was pregnant with my DS how many women on the birthboard around 6 months pregnant would freak out about not having any paid time off with planned pregnancies and adoptions! It was crazy to me.

[thyme4change]

I think it probably has to do with the type of workers Carl deals with. Hourly workers at a grocery store are hardly the type to think about saving up their time off or save for unpaid time off when the baby arrives.

I agree, and I think Carl should say to them "Just because none of you saved up enough money to take some time off, don't be hater."

(Do the kids still say "hater"?)

[973beachbum]

Aug 31, 2012 14:36:31 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Aug 31, 2012 14:32:33 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

"I believe the culture just haven't caught up!"

It's probably just your work culture. I think most people in my workplace would be supportive of paternety leave.

I wonder if you can stagger it. Like mom takes 12 weeks and Dad takes three weeks, that's 15 weeks you don't have to put the kid in daycare.

I think it probably has to do with the type of workers Carl deals with. Hourly workers at a grocery store are hardly the type to think about saving up their time off or save for unpaid time off when the baby arrives.

It surprised me when I was pregnant with my DS how many women on the birthboard around 6 months pregnant would freak out about not having any paid time off with planned pregnancies and adoptions! It was crazy to me.

I think it depends how much time they have available to begin with. Most places around here only give ten days a year total. that is for vacation, sick and any personal days put together. So a pregnant woman may have to use 5 of those days just for appointments and that is assuming they don't have a kid at home that gets sick or the school has a holiday they have to take off for.

Most places I have known allowed people to take unpaid time off for something like this but how many people does anyone really know who would take more than a few days unpaid unless it was an emergency?

[thyme4change]

Most places around here only give ten days a year total.

Am I on ignore for everyone? This isn't a store policy - this is FMLA mandated. The company isn't being generous and giving people time - they are required to do this.

Granted, they don't have to pay for them to take that time off. But, this guy could be using vacation time, or going a week without a paycheck.

[973beachbum]

Aug 31, 2012 15:01:04 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Most places around here only give ten days a year total.

Am I on ignore for everyone? This isn't a store policy - this is FMLA mandated. The company isn't being generous and giving people time - they are required to do this.

Granted, they don't have to pay for them to take that time off. But, this guy could be using vacation time, or going a week without a paycheck.

I read that but where I live very few grocery store clerks can afford to take off more than a few days without pay.

Truthfully I don't know many people, grocery store ee or not, that would. So having the gov mandate that they get the time off but not that it be paid is really the same for most people as not getting any time at all.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Am I on ignore for everyone?

Who said that?

I think Mutt was saying 6 months is a little late to figure out you don't get paid time off.

No not everyone has enough PTO or gets paid for it but you've had plenty of time by month 6 to figure out what you are going to do.

For some it does mean go back to work right away, for others it means saving so at least mom can take time off etc.

I called employee services the day after the stick turned pink. I found out I could take 8 weeks paid if I had the vacation time. If I wanted to take the other 4 they would be unpaid.

I had nine months to plan if I wanted to take the full 12. I chose not to but if I had wanted to waiting until month 6 to find out that the last 4 weeks are unpaid is a little late.

[Deleted]

I think it is weird when a guy take a lot of time off when he has a child born.

[justme]

Thyme - it's probably semantics. When I hear about work "giving time" I think paid time, not what FMLA is which is LWOP. I also think when most people refer to paternity/maternity leave as paid leave. Probably because the majority of people can't afford to take 12 weeks off without pay.

[raeoflyte]

DH took off 7 weeks with our first and is taking 4 weeks off with our 2nd. I'm bummed we can't afford for him to take more off this time too.

As Thyme has said it is required for fmla. DH's industry is primarily women, but they still acted like he was a freak for taking so much time off (and for not being able to give the exact day of his leave--I get that its inconvenient, but wth would he take time off BEFORE the baby gets here. I know sometimes women need to, but dh is going to save everything for when the baby arrives).