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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 8:27:28 GMT -5
Lone teenagers experiment with their sexual power. They always have, always will. Part of being guided to use it appropriately is for healthy people of the opposite sex to treat them respectfully and not respond to the foolishness.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 1, 2012 8:29:42 GMT -5
What? That girls who act like sluts should not be told they are slutty acting? Jeesh. Get over it. They call each other that all the time. Where ya been? Ya know, whenever GW comments on a girl being trampy (even she doesn't use the word slut) I always ask her more about the girl. Does she get good grades? Does she have an after school job? Is she involved in any after school activities? I'm hoping it is teaching her to look at the whole person and not one trait. Excellent, laterbloomer! GW will thank you for helping her to learn people aren't just one act, or one word, or one moment. When they're kids, they're a work in progress. Heck, we're works in progress until we quit breathing!
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 1, 2012 8:31:51 GMT -5
I think I am older than dirt. I remember teachers in HS dating girls when I was in my junior and senior year. I am pretty sure that the girls were all over 18. One couple did get married and I think they still are. Truthfully I agree that this teacher should lose his job. I find it personally creepy to have a teacher, even if they are only 22, dating their students. BUT this girl was 17. If she had committed a crime no one here would be crying one little crockidile tear for her thinking that she didn't know what she was doing so we should give her a break. The posts would all be saying that she is 17 and she did the crime she needs to pay the consequesnces, but for some reason when sex is involved we all go crazy and decide that an almost adult suddenly has the mental capacity of a toddler.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 8:38:26 GMT -5
I had a PE teacher in high school that flirted with a lot of the popular girls. He was in his early 20's. I never really considered that "old". What I thought was inappropriate was that he was a teacher flirting with his young students.
I can see where hte lines got blurred though for the girls he was hitting on. He behaved and conducted himself like a buddy and fellow high school student, not a teacher. How are you supposed to respect authority when the authority is acting like a hormonal 18 year old?
Outside of a school setting a 22 year old hitting on an 18 year old is not out of the realm of possibility and probably most of us would not bat an eye. I don't blame the girls for getting confused and responding to mixed messages.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Aug 1, 2012 8:42:37 GMT -5
Lone teenagers experiment with their sexual power. They always have, always will. Part of being guided to use it appropriately is for healthy people of the opposite sex to treat them respectfully and not respond to the foolishness. absolutely this!
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 1, 2012 8:44:04 GMT -5
I had a PE teacher in high school that flirted with a lot of the popular girls. He was in his early 20's. I never really considered that "old". What I thought was inappropriate was that he was a teacher flirting with his young students. I can see where hte lines got blurred though for the girls he was hitting on. He behaved and conducted himself like a buddy and fellow high school student, not a teacher. How are you supposed to respect authority when the authority is acting like a hormonal 18 year old? Outside of a school setting a 22 year old hitting on an 18 year old is not out of the realm of possibility and probably most of us would not bat an eye. I don't blame the girls for getting confused and responding to mixed messages. But should it be criminal?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 8:46:42 GMT -5
Oh I remember another one. Our female drama teacher flirted a lot with her male students. It made quite a few of us uncomfortable. I heard a couple of years ago that her marriage broke up because she was caught sleeping with one of her former students.
And it happened to be one a lot of is figured that she was sleeping with while she was still a teacher at the school. You had to have been living under a rock to not notice they were behaving like more than friends.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 8:49:48 GMT -5
There is no excuse for a teacher "dating" a student, even if it doesn't go to the sexual level. It is called professionalism.
On a lighter but related note, these days most districts don't even permit teachers to use personal email accounts to contact students or to be friends with them on social network sites.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 8:49:57 GMT -5
But should it be criminal?
I guess it depends on what you mean by criminal. If you mean I think they should lose their job, yes. Lots of jobs frown upon relationships at work and in the case of a teacher you are an authority figure which to me would be like dating my boss.
That is unprofessional and you should face consequences for it. You take that risk if you chose to engage.
If both parties are consenting and of legal age to consent then as far as getting arrested/pressing charges then no.
Here the age of consent is 16 but he/she can't be more than 4 years older than you. So a teacher sleeping with a 16 year old student would get him arrested here.
18 year old and a teacher, no that wouldn't get him arrested but he would be fired.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 1, 2012 9:01:14 GMT -5
As I recall now, her new husband did have to go teach middle school after they got married. I wonder if that was his "punishment" or she didn't want him around high school girls like herself? Or both?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 1, 2012 9:28:11 GMT -5
I think it comes back to the fact that in teacher-student relationship one person has more power, bc otherwise, the age thing is not that problematic.
On a flip side of it, there have been plenty of stories where students screamed sexual harassment just to be vindictive and teacher lost his or her job.
Like I said before, I don't know why anyone would want to teach now days, especially in HS
Lena
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 1, 2012 9:36:47 GMT -5
"It wasn't a teacher, but the girls I knew in HS would trip over themselves when an early 20 something would hit on them. They were dense to my asking them what the hell was wrong with him that he couldn't date girls his own age that could drink and stay out late with them. They were special cuz an older guy chose them." they were special because now they had a beer source When I was 16 I was dating a 23 year old...at the time I thought it was great (again, beer source!)...once I turned 23 I realized what kind of loser that guy had to be to date someone that literally just turned 16...not long after I broke up with him he was arrested for leading a car-theft ring...oy, I knew how to pick the winners
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 9:38:31 GMT -5
I think it comes back to the fact that in teacher-student relationship one person has more power, bc otherwise, the age thing is not that problematic
Exactly. I liken it to me dating my boss. Age wise there is no problem but he is in a position of authority over me. There is no real way to prove that he did not coerce me into dating him.
There is also the risk that he plays favorites since I am dating him creating an unequal work environment.
It'd open up the university to a giant legal mess.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 1, 2012 9:39:35 GMT -5
Seriously? Calling someone a slut is now sexist?? Good grief, everything in this world is not a war on women...some girls ARE slutty...some guys are male whores....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 9:43:35 GMT -5
Oh my.... I had the biggest crush on my 9th grade science teacher. He was SUPER nerdy ( ), had big blue eyes, and was so passionate about his subject. He was married though and apparently really loved his wife. There were a couple of male subs/teachers aides that went down to OCMD (where most of our class had their Senior Week) and "partied" with some of the female classmates. Pictures surfaced. Oh, and one of them was the son of the assistant principal.
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Aug 1, 2012 9:48:10 GMT -5
Seriously? Calling someone a slut is now sexist?? Good grief, everything in this world is not a war on women...some girls ARE slutty...some guys are male whores.... stop mocking the war on women!! it's real, darn it!!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 9:53:11 GMT -5
Lone teenagers experiment with their sexual power. They always have, always will. Part of being guided to use it appropriately is for healthy people of the opposite sex to treat them respectfully and not respond to the foolishness. This is an excellent point. Can the teachers here weigh in on if this is covered somewhere for teachers in their education and how to deal with it? Yes it is covered. We are told to never be alone in the classroom with a student of the opposite sex. If you HAVE to be in the classroom with a student, keep the door open or try to move the conversation to the hallway where other people can see you. If a student comes onto you, you are supposed to report it so that it can be documented. My last job was in a middle school. I had several 7th grade male students that hit on me. It got very uncomfortable at times and I had to have them talked to. I would explain to the students that it was inappropriate, but they wouldn't always listen to me about it. Usually my male counterpart would pull them aside and tell them how inappropriate it was. I also had a problem with 9th grade boys hitting on me. It was extremely embarrassing for both myself and my son. Thankfully several on the 9th grade teaching staff pulled those boys aside and told them that they had better knock it off. Teenagers can be very sexually aggressive no matter what their gender is. They are trying to figure it all out. It is up to the teacher to be a professional and not ever allow the line to be crossed.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Aug 1, 2012 10:17:58 GMT -5
What if the female neighbors won't run interference? Teaching is a very political profession. If a male teacher gets a promotion and the female neighbor is jealous, or just doesn't like him, he'd be up a creek.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 1, 2012 10:22:19 GMT -5
"Exactly. I liken it to me dating my boss." Wait...dating the boss is bad??? Another memo CL shredded on me
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Aug 1, 2012 10:23:16 GMT -5
Then he should be a big boy and either talk to another teacher or an administrator.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 1, 2012 10:24:25 GMT -5
I think it comes back to the fact that in teacher-student relationship one person has more power, bc otherwise, the age thing is not that problematicExactly. I liken it to me dating my boss. Age wise there is no problem but he is in a position of authority over me. There is no real way to prove that he did not coerce me into dating him. There is also the risk that he plays favorites since I am dating him creating an unequal work environment. It'd open up the university to a giant legal mess. But there are lots of relationships that have unequal power. We may frown on them and people may even lose their job but we don't put them in jail. I still stand by my point that if she gets a pass for having sex because she is too young to understand what she was doing then she has to get a pass for shooting someone.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 1, 2012 10:24:34 GMT -5
I don't know any teacher who wouldn't support another. Even though I taught in elem, there were some girls who matured early. If they weren't taken care of by their parents and my male counterparts noticed and felt uncomfortable about it, they spoke to me and I spoke to the girls. Same as with my male students, the very young ones, who felt the world was their toilet. No way am I going up to a peeing 6 year old and explain the facts about public peeing. We look out for each other.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 1, 2012 10:28:10 GMT -5
Oops, I meant the Megan's Law list!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 10:30:45 GMT -5
We may frown on them and people may even lose their job but we don't put them in jail.
Well at least around here the ones that have been caught aren't doing it with 18 year olds. They are doing /dating/harassing 14-15-16 year olds.
I wouldn't be okay with my 14 year old doing it with a twenty something even if he wasn't her teacher. What business does someone that age have dating a 14 year old?
Even if 16 is the age of consent the law is the person you are sleeping with can't be more than 4 years older than you. Most teachers are will over 4 years older than their students.
They know the laws when they choose to do this, you don't want to go to jail or get fired don't date your students. If you can't keep your hands off then maybe you aren't in the right profession.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 1, 2012 10:40:46 GMT -5
We may frown on them and people may even lose their job but we don't put them in jail.Well at least around here the ones that have been caught aren't doing it with 18 year olds. They are doing /dating/harassing 14-15-16 year olds. I wouldn't be okay with my 14 year old doing it with a twenty something even if he wasn't her teacher. What business does someone that age have dating a 14 year old? Even if 16 is the age of consent the law is the person you are sleeping with can't be more than 4 years older than you. Most teachers are will over 4 years older than their students. They know the laws when they choose to do this, you don't want to go to jail or get fired don't date your students. If you can't keep your hands off then maybe you aren't in the right profession. But those are statuatory rape laws and the four year age gap normally only takes effect if the person is under 16 not over. the intent was not to criminalize a 19 year old for having sex with their 15 year old girlfriend not to criminialize a 23 year old for having sex with a 17 year old. And this girl wasnt 16 she was over 17. I still think it is wrong and he should not only be fired but lose his ability to teach. So he doesn't get a pass but to put him in jail because she was "confused" that she had sex, at 17, sounds crazy to me.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 10:46:12 GMT -5
the intent was not to criminalize a 19 year old for having sex with their 15 year old girlfriend not to criminialize a 23 year old for having sex with a 17 year old.
True, but technically he was still in violation and if I had a good enough lawyer I can get him arrested.
I was well within age limits to date/sleep with several guys I worked with at my great uncle's but I wasn't going to touch them with a ten foot pole.
No the law is not technically supposed to be punishing me but I sure as hell wasn't going to take the chance because all it takes is one pissed off parent.
If he was really seriously dating her then the smart thing would have been to quit teaching. If he was just banging her then I consider him an idiot. There is plenty of young tail he could chase that would not have been a student of his with no risk of him getting arrested.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 1, 2012 10:47:39 GMT -5
LMAO!!!
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 1, 2012 10:50:29 GMT -5
the intent was not to criminalize a 19 year old for having sex with their 15 year old girlfriend not to criminialize a 23 year old for having sex with a 17 year old. True, but technically he was still in violation and if I had a good enough lawyer I can get him arrested. I was well within age limits to date/sleep with several guys I worked with at my great uncle's but I wasn't going to touch them with a ten foot pole. No the law is not technically supposed to be punishing me but I sure as hell wasn't going to take the chance because all it takes is one pissed off parent. If he was really seriously dating her then the smart thing would have been to quit teaching. If he was just banging her then I consider him an idiot. There is plenty of young tail he could chase that would not have been a student of his with no risk of him getting arrested. No I don't think you can make it criminal by getting a good lawyer. The law is that if they are under the age of consent the age gap provision comes in not when a lawyer wants it too. I ahve a 16 year old too. I understand not wanting my DD to date a guy much older than her, I really do! I just don't think it is the criminal justice's job to police my daughters dating prostpects. If he had talked her into killing someone would that reasoning still hold and she wouldn't be responsible? I really don't understand how when it has to do with sex she is a toddler but for everything else a 17 year old is an adult.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 10:57:11 GMT -5
I don't understand it either, but he was still an idiot. Several teachers on here have pointed out that they are trained in how to handle the situation and he surely would be aware of the consequences of his actions. You want 17 year old tail don't date your students.
I would hold her responsible but I also agree with everyone else that he is her teacher, he is supposed to be thinking with his head not his pecker.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 10:58:24 GMT -5
meanwhile - mary kay letourneau is still married to her victim....they are getting somewhere close to about 10 years of marriage......
Still icky but I am impressed they've made it that long.
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