zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 10, 2012 9:33:59 GMT -5
MJ!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 10, 2012 9:35:23 GMT -5
GEL does understand. GEL doesn't like people sitting on her either. GEL has a very large issue with people touching her. GEL just doesn't think it's worth hurting someone over. For the record and for future information, there is very little that GEL "can't understand". Except for fractions....those little partials of wholes are just.....partials of wholes.
You are missing my point and I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but I'll assume it isn't and explain. I HATE having people touch me. I have been on an airplane where a very large woman was sitting next to me. I spent the entire flight with part of her behind on my thigh. I highly doubt I was anymore uncomfortable than she was and I sure as heck would not complain and make her feel even worse.
Nice part was? I am TERRIFIED of the landing. I don't mind the take off or the flight, but I am absolutely terrified when we start to come down. I never said a word, but it must have shown on my face. This nice lady reached over and took my hand and held it and said something to the effect of....it's going to be all right, honey. She was very sweet...grandmotherly. She saw a person in need of comfort and she gave it.
I hope I can return that favor someday.
I understand totally what everyone is saying. I fully support larger people having to purchase extra seating if they do not fit in a regular seat. I just can't and won't make a big stink about it if that doesn't happen and I'm a bit uncomfortable. I find usually things even out in the end.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 10, 2012 9:38:23 GMT -5
There's that.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 9:38:52 GMT -5
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 10, 2012 9:39:52 GMT -5
As someone who gets most everything including fractions, I can assure you I understand your point. My point is that you are choosing to ignore the fact that others don't share your preferences and don't view the issue in quite the same way.
As nice as your intentions are, if you end up sitting next to me and try to hold my hand during landing, neither of us is going to be happy, so as much as you'd like to "return that favor" it's not really a favor you'd be doing for all people.
And for the last time, not a single rational person here has advocated making a big stink or publicly embarrassing anyone, so you can stop jousting that straw man you set up.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 10, 2012 9:39:54 GMT -5
That's why I'm an aisle gal. I can keep away for the most part.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 10, 2012 9:43:21 GMT -5
I would freak if some stranger grabbed my hand and patted it.
On one flight, my brother was seated across the aisle from a woman who was clearly distressed about flying and was on the verge of a meltdown. He said to the woman, "you know, the pilot doesn't want to die either."
Just as comforting, but it doesn't require touching.
Or maybe I'm just a cold fish.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 10, 2012 9:46:02 GMT -5
Those people need to drink or take Xanax or both before flying. They irritate me. I hate landings as well but I just shut my eyes and realize if it's my time, it's my time, and my affairs are in order.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 10, 2012 9:46:47 GMT -5
NO ONE has said they want to humiliate anyone - obese or not. I certainly don't. Doesn't mean I don't think someone should buy a second seat if they're encroaching on mine. DH is a big guy - 6'4", 260 - and agrees that if you can't fit in a single seat, you need to buy two. So it's not just skinny people who feel that way.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 10, 2012 9:47:29 GMT -5
I don't see how I'm ignoring it since I'm responding. If by "ignoring", you really mean I'm not caving to the popular opinion, then I guess you are right.
If an act of kindness offends you, I think I would sense that beforehand and leave you to yourself. I can't promise that, but I do have a sense about people.
They most certainly have. Several people have mentioned they would complain. You can't do that in a plane without being noticed. I'll post what I like, Milee. If I stopped, who would you attempt to pick on?
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 10, 2012 9:50:59 GMT -5
Disagreeing with you is not picking on you and it's a little funny that you're trying to imply that I told you to stop posting.
It would be interesting to see how your "sense of people" operates if you are so unaware of others that you'd assume grabbing a stranger's hand would be an "act of kindness."
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 10, 2012 9:51:26 GMT -5
Complaining doesn't necessarily have to be loud or embarassing to anyone. I have asthma and got seated next to some lady who doused herself in perfume. I quietly told the flight attendant that I was senstive to the lady's perfume and I was about to go into full blown asthma attack if they didn't reseat me.
They found me a spot. I just moved. I didnt tell the lady why I was moving, I just did it.
ETA: The spot was in the back row next to the bathrooms, but it was a spot.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 10, 2012 9:54:11 GMT -5
Yeah, there's a pretty big difference between quietly pulling the flight attendant aside (which is what I think everyone who has said they'd "complain" has indicated) and yelling, "OH MY GOD, GET YOUR FAT ROLLS OFF ME! Stewardess, help!"
The latter - of course anyone would find that humiliating, and that's pretty rude. The former - it's unlikely that anyone but the complainer and flight attendant would even have a clue what was going on.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 10, 2012 9:55:08 GMT -5
It was and is to me. If it isn't to you, that's perfectly fine. I'm sure you have thousands of other ways to return a kindness shown to you. It's not for everyone. That's for sure.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 9:55:24 GMT -5
NO ONE has said they want to humiliate anyone - obese or not. I certainly don't. Doesn't mean I don't think someone should buy a second seat if they're encroaching on mine. DH is a big guy - 6'4", 260 - and agrees that if you can't fit in a single seat, you need to buy two. So it's not just skinny people who feel that way. Mid, your DH is taller than mine and you are shorter than I am.... you two must look interesting together! ;D <<said with love. >>
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 10, 2012 10:01:08 GMT -5
GEL, for someone who claims to understand almost everything, there seem to be a few things you don't.
1. Expecting a person to sacrifice his own comfort so his fellow man won't have to sacrifice anything is hypercritical at best.
2. Expecting others to appreciate your actions, even if it's kindness is forcing another person to do what they don't want to do. The last time I checked forcing others to accept your way, wasn't very kind.
3. Assuming that a person who voices his objection is a selfish jerk who "raises a stink" is not only judgmental, but also unkind.
So, yes, you theoretically all nice and kind and oh so righteous with how you treat others and yet, you've consistently insulted others opinions when they didn't agree with yours.
Lena
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 10, 2012 10:01:41 GMT -5
So what do you all suppose would happen if you got up and quietly told a flight attendant that you were uncomfortable? What do you suppose is going to happen when said flight attendant comes over to the overweight passenger and asks them to change their seat? Do you think that passenger is going to think, "Oh dear. Somebody complained that I'm fat?" Or do you think that passenger might think, "Wow! There must be a better movie in the section they are moving me to! Am I lucky or what?" And how do you think that passenger will feel when you are no longer sitting with them, in the event they move you instead? That you suddenly contracted a contagious disease and they were quarantining you? Or will they spend the rest of the flight humilated?
It's ok if you think all of the above is all right. I'm not your conscience. I'm just saying I don't think it's ok. It's not worth it to me.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 10:02:32 GMT -5
NO ONE has said they want to humiliate anyone - obese or not. I certainly don't. Doesn't mean I don't think someone should buy a second seat if they're encroaching on mine. DH is a big guy - 6'4", 260 - and agrees that if you can't fit in a single seat, you need to buy two. So it's not just skinny people who feel that way. Mid, your DH is taller than mine and you are shorter than I am.... you two must look interesting together! ;D <<said with love. >> Mom is 5' tall and Dad is 6'3". She rests her head on his beer belly when they dance.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 10, 2012 10:03:40 GMT -5
<<snort>>
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 10, 2012 10:03:56 GMT -5
Haha yeah... our wedding pictures are pretty funny, especially the ones with both families (I come from short people). DN is 5 and he is about the same proportion to me as I am to DH. He'll probably be taller than me by 7 or so...
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 10, 2012 10:04:04 GMT -5
"It's ok if you think all of the above is all right. I'm not your conscience. I'm just saying I don't think it's ok. It's not worth it to me. "
Now turn it around...suppose you are morbidly obese and you know damn well you are not going to fit in your sit without sitting on me...do you think it is ok to sit on me for the flight??
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 10:04:25 GMT -5
So what do you all suppose would happen if you got up and quietly told a flight attendant that you were uncomfortable? What do you suppose is going to happen when said flight attendant comes over to the overweight passenger and asks them to change their seat? Do you think that passenger is going to think, "Oh dear. Somebody complained that I'm fat?" Or do you think that passenger might think, "Wow! There must be a better movie in the section they are moving me to! Am I lucky or what?" And how do you think that passenger will feel when you are no longer sitting with them, in the event they move you instead? That you suddenly contracted a contagious disease and they were quarantining you? Or will they spend the rest of the flight humilated? It's ok if you think all of the above is all right. I'm not your conscience. I'm just saying I don't think it's ok. It's not worth it to me. Why wouldn't the complainer be the one moving, like swamp did?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 10, 2012 10:04:54 GMT -5
So what do you all suppose would happen if you got up and quietly told a flight attendant that you were uncomfortable? What do you suppose is going to happen when said flight attendant comes over to the overweight passenger and asks them to change their seat? Do you think that passenger is going to think, "Oh dear. Somebody complained that I'm fat?" Or do you think that passenger might think, "Wow! There must be a better movie in the section they are moving me to! Am I lucky or what?" And how do you think that passenger will feel when you are no longer sitting with them, in the event they move you instead? That you suddenly contracted a contagious disease and they were quarantining you? Or will they spend the rest of the flight humilated? It's ok if you think all of the above is all right. I'm not your conscience. I'm just saying I don't think it's ok. It's not worth it to me. I've been the complainer. I got moved, not the perfume marinated lady. And I don't really care what stinky lady thought. I wasn't going to stick around to find out.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 10:05:34 GMT -5
So how's the view from in there today, swamp?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 10, 2012 10:06:21 GMT -5
So how's the view from in there today, swamp? Nice, thanks!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 10, 2012 10:06:49 GMT -5
"It's ok if you think all of the above is all right. I'm not your conscience. I'm just saying I don't think it's ok. It's not worth it to me. " Now turn it around...suppose you are morbidly obese and you know damn well you are not going to fit in your sit without sitting on me...do you think it is ok to sit on me for the flight?? It's totally OK for me to sit on you.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 10, 2012 10:08:48 GMT -5
I understand perfectly.
It's not about "comfort" to me, Lena. It's not about "me, me, me". It's about being a caring human being. It's fine if it's all about comfort to you. It's just not me.
I don't even know where this comes from other than a remark about hoping to return a kindness someday. Shame on me!!!!
I don't recall ever using those words, Lena. Perhaps you could point out where I said anyone was a "selfish jerk". I don't always remember everything, so I'll wait to apologize until it's quoted. Because I don't usually call people names....sometimes.
I am completely unaware that I have insulted anyone. Again, I'll wait for the quote so that I can apologize to whomever I insulted.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 10, 2012 10:09:08 GMT -5
I will be thinking about them about the same amount of time they thought about me, knowing full well that will be getting so so so close during the flight. As a matter of fact, since they KNEW we would be getting so close, they should have brought me flowers and chocolates. I prefer sunflowers, thank you.
Lena
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 10, 2012 10:09:52 GMT -5
OK - so maybe there's no way for someone to request to be moved without tipping off the obese person. Still, I don't see how anyone is being "humiliated" by this. To me, humilation would involve some sort of public spectacle.
Now, I haven't flown for a while, but from what I remember there's a lot of moving around, putting things in overhead bins, and general ruckus before takeoff. Is anyone else going to notice that someone was moved? I highly doubt anyone but the complainer, the flight attendant, and the seat-encroacher are going to be aware that anything is going on. That, to me, is far from the "public humiliation" complained of by the commenters linked in the OP.
I'm a very live-and-let-live person, and generally courteous - I let others merge in traffic, cut ahead of me at the grocery store if they only have a few things, etc. - so I resent the implication that I'm somehow being rude by quietly, respectfully standing up for my right to enjoy the space I purchased. ESPECIALLY when it's apparently NOT considered rude for someone else to invade my space.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 10, 2012 10:11:12 GMT -5
"It's ok if you think all of the above is all right. I'm not your conscience. I'm just saying I don't think it's ok. It's not worth it to me. " Now turn it around...suppose you are morbidly obese and you know damn well you are not going to fit in your sit without sitting on me...do you think it is ok to sit on me for the flight?? I most certainly do not. I would purchase an extra seat so that I didn't make you uncomfortable. I don't think I ever have a right to make someone else uncomfortable. However, if that was not possible, I'd do my very best not to encroach on your space or I would voluntarily ask to be moved if there were a vacant seat where I wouldn't be making anyone uncomfortable.
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